Rude (King's Harlots MC Book 4)

by J. M. Walker

  “Meeka told me what happened to her and how she was sold to Charles.” I shivered. “He needs to die.”

  “Asher won’t talk about it.”

  “It makes me wonder who will be next.”

  ***

  (Coby)

  I wanted to scream that she was wrong. That she was crazy to think that way but it made sense. Jay had been taken first. Then Meeka and Asher. Jay’s sister, Violet, had been taken years before. Who would be next?

  I didn’t want to think that way but it was hard not to when Charles was going through all of us. Taking from us what was rightfully ours. Destroying the girls’ club and home, a piece of their lives they had grown accustomed to for years.

  The fact that Brogan had left my place earlier that night when I wasn’t there left me pissed off and on edge. Every fiber of my being needed to protect her and remind her and everyone else that she belonged to me. But did she really? My thoughts were a jumbled mess.

  Leah did this to me. I was normal when I met her. Not bitter and hating the world. Not miserable in any way. She had mental health problems her whole life and one day, she just couldn’t deal. I blamed her for so many things in my life but taking my baby from me was the final thing that broke me.

  While Brogan curled against me, I brushed my hand up and down her bare back. Nothing else came of tonight other than talking and spending time together. No sex. As much as we needed it, getting to know each other would be a harder task for each other. Brogan needed sex as much I did. It took us out of our heads and let us just feel that familiar connection we had with each other.

  I wasn’t sure why exactly, but I fell hard for this woman lying beside me. No, I knew why and I was an idiot for denying it all along. I had been missing something since Leah died and Brogan would be the one who could fill that void. She understood where I was coming from. Craved the darkness inside of me. Although she had been accused of having mental health problems her whole life, she wasn’t Leah. I knew that, but sometimes the words leaving my mouth said different.

  “Coby.” Brogan stirred beside me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” I kissed her head. “Can’t sleep.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, resting her chin on my chest.

  I shrugged.

  “Did you have a bad dream?”

  “More like a bad reality,” I grumbled. “My wife’s name was Leah. She was happy when she found out she was pregnant but she was so far gone in her head that she couldn’t control her thoughts or actions.”

  “She had mental health problems?” Brogan’s eyes widened.

  “She did. For her whole life. She had told me over and over again how scared she was that our baby would end up like her.” My throat tightened. “But she never gave it the chance.”

  “Oh, Coby.” Brogan hugged her arms around me. “I’m so sorry. It must be hard being with me then.”

  “No.” I cupped her cheeks. “Never.”

  She sighed. “I was never diagnosed with anything but I’ve always known something was off.”

  I didn’t respond. There was nothing more I could say. Leah had been my one true love. Or so I thought. It was funny how different she was compared to Brogan. They were nothing alike but stole every part of me just the same.

  “Let’s talk about something else.” Brogan rolled onto her back. “How about … sex? Why do you need to be in control?”

  I chuckled, appreciating the change in subject. “It’s just how I am. I can’t control anything else in my life, so sex is my way of taking that back. I love my job but it has shitty aspects that I can’t stop. But when it comes to sex, controlling your movements and actions, your orgasms, even the breaths that leave your mouth—it turns me on and leaves me very satisfied.”

  “Have you always been like this?”

  “With other women, you mean?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why? Would you be jealous?” I teased, knowing the answer before she even told me.

  “Yes, just like you’re jealous of Greyson.” She snapped her mouth shut. “I mean …”

  I pulled her under me, cupping her throat. “You think I’m jealous of your stepbrother? You think I’m jealous over the fact that he fucked you first and it wasn’t me you lost your virginity to? Yes. Is that what you want to hear? I am jealous. You fucking hear me? I’m jealous of every man who has given you an orgasm because all of them belong to me. Past. Current. Future. Your orgasms are mine.”

  “When it comes to Greyson, you have nothing to be worried about.” She pushed my hand off her. “You need to trust me.”

  “I do trust you.” I kissed her hard on the mouth. “It’s him I don’t trust.”

  “I know that but there’s nothing I can do, Coby.”

  I stared down at her. She was right. God, I was such a dick sometimes.

  Flopping back down beside her, I wrapped her in my arms. “I’m not a good guy, Brogan, but you make me want to be one.”

  “Where is that coming from?”

  I yawned, my eyelids getting heavy. “Just trust me.”

  Coming home to find out my wife had committed suicide was not something anyone could prepare for. I had been away on a mission for the past six months. Tired and hungry, sore and in need of a warm body and hot shower, I craved Leah’s arms. But when I walked into our bedroom and saw her sprawled out on the bed with a pill bottle in her hand, I knew.

  The military had turned me into a hard man to deal with. It wasn’t something I was proud of but I couldn’t control the things I had seen. Leah had been good for me. She was happy that I was making something of myself. Happy that I could prepare our baby for the future. But she took that from me.

  I stood in the doorway, a bouquet of roses in my hand, expecting to be greeted by her but instead, I was hit by her death.

  I didn’t cry. I didn’t yell and scream. I only stood there. Frozen in place. Stuck in a time where I didn’t know whether to move forward or back. How could she do this to me? How could she take away something I never even had a chance to love?

  Suddenly, I fell to my knees, the roses dropping to the floor. A wail left my mouth. I didn’t need to touch Leah to know that she was gone. Her vacant eyes stared at me from the bed. No longer showcasing the life she had lived.

  “How could you do this to me?” I asked the still form. “How could you take away our baby?” My voice rose as each question left my lips. “How could you destroy me?”

  I rose to my feet, charging for the bed. Grabbing Leah’s body, I pulled her against me, cursing and shouting into her deaf ears.

  Our relationship had been toxic, dangerous but she came to me at a time in my life where I needed her most. And now this.

  My chest ached, my body convulsing with each sob that left my mouth. Tears burned down my cheeks.

  Fisting her hair in my hands, I pulled her head back and stared hard at her beautiful face. It no longer held the flush of life.

  My body shook but my voice remained calm and even. Pulling the phone from my pocket, I dialed 911 and reported the suicide. Not giving the operator any more information than needed, I hung up and threw the object across the room.

  “This is your fault,” I told my dead wife, already feeling the changes in my personality her death was causing. Reaching between us, I brushed the back of my hand over her swollen belly. Our baby never stood a chance.

  “I don’t know you but I love you nonetheless,” my voice cracked. “I’m so sorry you were never given the chance to survive. This world is evil but I knew going in that once I held you in my arms, it would make everything worth it but now …” I could no longer speak as reality dawned on me. I was now a widower. No wife. No baby. What was the point?

  ***

  (Brogan)

  The next day, I decided to make Coby breakfast. Since Benny had cooked in the military to gain some more experience, he taught us everything he knew. Now if only I could figure out how to cook for two people and not five.

>   “Are you making me breakfast, little one?” Coby asked, kissing my neck.

  I laughed. “I’m trying to. Think you can eat a lot?”

  “I’ll eat whatever you put in front of me.” He playfully smacked my butt. “This smells fucking fantastic.”

  “Thank you. Benny taught me. He calls it his magic eggs ‘cause they taste so damn good but you have no idea how he does them.”

  Coby chuckled, leaning against the island behind me. “I enjoy watching you in my kitchen.”

  “And I enjoy being in your kitchen. I love the club but it was too small to do anything so we ordered in a lot. I hope with these renovations that Creena and I can move around the kitchen without spilling something on each other.”

  “How’s she doing?”

  “Good. We’re keeping her on. We don’t look at her as a prospect anymore but with everything that’s been happening, we haven’t had a chance to make it official.” I made a mental note of reminding Jay of that next time I saw her.

  “I like her. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders.”

  I turned around. “Since when do you care about my friends?”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “I mean, you’ve never asked before. So why now?” I poked a finger against his chest. “Don’t get so defensive.”

  “I want to get to know you and if knowing your friends helps me know you better, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

  My heart stopped.

  “What’s that look for?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Nothing.” I turned back around and flipped the omelet before it burned.

  He nudged me gently. “Talk to me.”

  “I just don’t know why you want to get to know my friends when this isn’t serious anyway.”

  “You’re honestly standing there telling me this? Maybe it’s not serious now but even with all our commitment issues, I know we both want something out of this.

  “Yeah, you think so, do you? And how do you know that?”

  “Because I know you feel it. I have only felt it one other time.”

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head. “Don’t do this. Not now.”

  “Stop lying to yourself, Brogan.”

  “I don’t want you to hurt me and you could. If anyone was to rip out my heart, it would be you, Coby.”

  “I would never do anything to hurt you. I have no intentions of that.”

  “Most people don’t.” I turned off the stove and placed his omelet on a plate. “Here you go.”

  He sighed but took the plate from me. Forking a mouthful between his lips, he chewed and chewed, swallowed, and took another bite.

  “Well?”

  He didn’t say anything until every last bit was gone. “That was fucking delicious.”

  I laughed. “Took you long enough to tell me.”

  “I think you should come here.”

  My cheeks heated. “Yeah? And what do I get out of it?”

  “A couple orgasms … or ten.”

  And for the next couple of hours, Coby lived up to his promise, satisfying me in ways I never even knew was possible.

  I was in love with him. It made sense. It was the only reason I was pushing him away. Even though I wasn’t sure if it was actually love, I did care for Coby. A lot. I missed him when he wasn’t around. I craved his touch and the way he saw inside my head, read my thoughts and never judged me. He was the part of me I had been missing my whole entire life.

  I needed to talk to someone about this. I wasn’t the type of girl who sat with my friends and discussed guys but I needed answers. Or someone to set me on the right path at least.

  Coby was still sleeping so I headed out to the living room and called Meeka. She had been the one person in my life to not put up with my shit, and I loved her even more for it.

  Sitting on the chaise by the window that overlooked the city, I dialed my best friend and waited in bated anticipation.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Meeka,” I greeted, gripping the phone tight in my hand.

  “Hey, girl, what’s up?”

  My heart stuttered. “I …”

  “Brogan?” Meeka paused. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes. I just have a question.” I took a breath. “Now before you jump to conclusions and make a big deal out of it, just hear me out.”

  “Okay …”

  “When did you know you were falling in love with Asher?” I asked all in one breath. I winced, waiting for her badgering of questions but when they didn’t come, I thought maybe she had hung up. “Meeka?”

  “Um …” She cleared her throat. “Wow. Okay. My situation is a little different than yours. I’ve known Asher my whole life. A part of me has always loved him but the first time he kissed me, it opened up something else entirely. It’s a feeling I never even knew existed before.”

  “Did you just know?”

  “Yeah. I guess I did. He never made it easy but relationships take work. They take time. It’s not always hearts and flowers but we have each other. He saved me, and I like to think that maybe I even saved him a little.”

  “I think you did more than that, Meeka.”

  “He has a history. A very dark one. But I’m glad that I was able to help him deal with that.”

  “It’s like all of these men have dark pasts,” I muttered, remembering Coby’s story.

  Meeka sighed. “They do but that’s what makes them human. I’d rather a broken man than one who acts all perfect. They are the ones you have to watch out for.”

  “True enough.”

  “Who are you talking to, hummingbird?” Asher asked in the background.

  “Brogan.” Meeka covered the mouthpiece, her voice muffled. She giggled.

  My cheeks heated. Afraid I was imposing on their private moment, I quickly said goodbye and hung up the phone.

  “Brogan.”

  I jumped.

  Coby stood at the end of the hallway, frowning. “What are you doing on the floor?”

  I looked around me, not even realizing I was no longer sitting on the chaise. “I’m not sure.”

  Coby came toward me and sat on the floor beside me before grabbing hold of my hand. He brushed his thumb back and forth over my pulse point. “Your hands are as calloused as mine.”

  Not quite sure what he was getting at, I didn’t respond.

  “Most women I’ve come across in my life have soft, perfect hands. But not you.”

  “Are you insulting my hands, Coby?” I raised an eyebrow.

  His lips twitched. “No. I’m complimenting the fact that you’re a hard worker. You protect what’s yours and you’ll go through anyone and do anything to make sure those you love are safe.”

  “Well—” I pulled my hand from his grasp “—it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere but thank you for noticing.” I crossed my arms under my chest, looking out the large floor to ceiling window. It was early morning. The sun had risen, kissing the tops of the buildings in the city.

  Coby brushed a strand of loose hair behind my ear. “Why are you up so early?”

  “I couldn’t sleep.” I shrugged. “I don’t sleep much anyway.” My body took that as a sign, forcing a yawn out of me.

  Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, Coby kissed my head.

  “What was that for?” I asked, my heart fluttering.

  “No reason,” he muttered, his hot breath heating my skin.

  We sat in silence, reveling in each other’s company for what felt like an eternity. It was comfortable, quiet, needed. All of the guys in my past always wanted just one thing. I was okay with that. Now I felt like I was waiting for this. For Coby.

  “What were you talking to Meeka about?”

  My heart jumped. “That depends. What did you hear?”

  “Enough.”

  Chewing my bottom lip, I held back the urge to run away. I had feelings for him. Hard, deep feelings but it still didn’t mean that I was ready to
admit them out loud. Yes, I may have asked Meeka about falling in love and I was thankful that she didn’t question it further but I couldn’t talk to Coby about it. Not yet.

  “Brogan, talk to me.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” I went to stand when he gripped my arm, stopping me.

  “You will tell me,” he demanded.

  I scoffed. “Not right now I’m not. And besides, no matter what you heard, it’s not important.”

  “Like fuck it’s not. I heard what you asked Meeka.”

  The back of my neck heated. Of course he did. The guy was stealthy and heard everything. I had no idea that he was even listening.

  “We’re not talking about it,” I grumbled, pulling from his grasp.

  “We’re going to have to,” he reminded me.

  My head whipped around. “Why, Coby? It’s not like anything is going to come out of this.” Although I said the words, I didn’t believe them myself. I was so damn confused. We needed to get this shit with the human trafficking settled first before we could think about having a relationship. Right? Wouldn’t it be selfish of us to be happy when so many others weren’t?

  “What are you scared of?” he asked softly.

  “Everything,” I snapped. “You. Us. What you went through should make you second guess everything but you’re the one sitting here demanding for me to tell you my feelings. Why?”

  “Because I know what we have is stronger than what I had with Leah.”

  “Do you miss her?”

  Coby thought a moment, rubbing the scruff on his angular jaw. “I miss parts, yes. I loved her. I know I did. I may talk bad about her but in all honesty, I met her at a difficult time. Her ending her life only made it worse.”

  My heart pained for him. “How so?”

  “My mom wanted me to amount to something more than being in the military. It got to the point where we stopped talking for years. When Leah died, I saw her at the funeral. We hadn’t talked for five years before that.”

  “You must have been really young when you joined the military,” I said in awe.