Rude (King's Harlots MC Book 4)

by J. M. Walker

  “You’re so demanding,” I grumbled, my lips pulling up into a smile. I gave him a hug, holding him a little longer than what was necessary but I found that it was needed. I needed it more than anything.

  “Go home, Brogie,” Benny muttered, squeezing me one last time before letting me go.

  I kissed his cheek and left the room.

  I wasn’t sure why but it felt like I had just told my brother good bye. For good.

  A rough calloused hand cupped mine, holding and squeezing it tight. I poured all the strength it could muster into that small touch. It gave me everything I needed to find the courage to move on and get past this. Something was wrong. I couldn’t quite place it or even understand why I had been feeling this way since Benny got shot but I couldn’t get these thoughts out of my head.

  It was late into the night. Coby was wrapped around me, holding my hand in his, and was breathing deep and even against my neck. He fell asleep not too long ago after he gave me everything I needed to get out of my head. My body was sore, aching and tired but the pleasure he granted me pulled me out of myself.

  The phone rang, jarring through my thoughts.

  Coby shifted. “Yeah.”

  My body remained still, my eyes staring into the darkness of the room.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice deepening.

  I knew.

  My stomach tumbled.

  My heart sped up.

  My breathing quickened.

  But I still didn’t move.

  No tears. No sounds.

  “Okay. I’ll let her know. Yeah, we’ll head down shortly.” Coby hung up the phone, placing it back on the end table. “Brogan?”

  “Don’t,” I whispered, my throat parched.

  “Baby.” He pushed the hair off my nape, kissing my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  “No,” I swallowed hard, but still, no tears fell. Maybe something was wrong with me that I couldn’t cry. I knew when I left the hospital that things could still take a turn for the worse but I had prayed that God would grant me this one pass.

  “Benny got a blood clot. It was unexpected. I’m so fucking sorry, little one. They did everything they could to save him. He didn’t make it.”

  Coby held me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm but all I could do was lie there. No words. No sounds. Nothing left my lips as he explained to me how my brother had died. I didn’t care. I didn’t care how he died. I didn’t care about anything. I only cared that he would no longer be with us. He would no longer be the glue that held our family together. The one who set Greyson straight whenever he gave me shit for not returning the love he had for me. Benny would no longer give me a hard time for always forgetting the twin’s birthday. He would no longer have to worry about being single or that he lost his leg. He wouldn’t see me fall in love. He would no longer be there. For us.

  A sob broke through me, stuttering into a silent cry of anguish.

  “That’s it, Brogan.” Coby squeezed me. “Let it out.”

  My body trembled, tears finally falling down my cheeks.

  Benny was gone.

  And I hated him for it.

  ***

  (Coby)

  Not being able to do anything for Brogan slowly destroyed me. She cried in my arms but she wouldn’t talk. She didn’t say anything while she broke. She didn’t talk while I dressed her and washed the tears from her cheeks. Words didn’t leave her mouth as I put shoes on her feet and walked her to the elevator. No sounds escaped her lips as I held her hand in mine and reigned soft kisses all over her knuckles. Nothing slid between us when I told her that I loved her.

  I loved her.

  My heart gave a start. It had been so long since I allowed myself to feel any emotion toward a woman that this new revelation made me uneasy.

  Brogan fell into herself.

  I didn’t want to take her to the hospital only for her to hear the words that I gently gave her. The doctor would explain the medical shit. Her brothers would probably lose it and demand other answers the doctor wouldn’t be able to give.

  And Brogan would plot revenge.

  I knew because it would be what I would do.

  When we arrived at the hospital, I pulled Brogan from the passenger seat and kissed her softly on the mouth. She didn’t kiss me back. She was frozen. A shell of herself. She hid behind the mask of pain and utter agony of losing her brother.

  She would come around. She would shatter. And I would be there to pick up the pieces.

  ***

  (Brogan)

  He loved me.

  When Coby said the words, I said them back. But when he didn’t respond, I knew I had only said them in my head. Understanding molded his handsome face into a dark solemn shadow. I was beside myself, looking down at my body from far away. I wanted to crawl inside my head and disappear. I didn’t want to deal with this. I didn’t want to hear the words Coby had said to me. I didn’t want to know the details on how Benny died. I didn’t want to deal with my brothers and see the sorrow on their faces.

  A heavy hand rubbed my back in smooth circles. I had been sitting in the waiting room at the hospital for what felt like an eternity. I couldn’t remember how we got there. I didn’t remember Coby walking me through the doors that would now be my own personal hell. But I especially didn’t want to remember that Benny died. That he left me. That he gave up and no longer fought to survive. He had been through so much. I craved the day I could avenge him.

  Voices sounded around me, calling my name and pleading for me to talk. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. What would I say? I didn’t want my brothers to see me break. I didn’t want them to see me officially lose it. The only man who would see it would be Coby and I knew that he would be there to put me back together. I wished I could return the favor when he had found out his wife had died so many years before.

  “Coby?” I whispered.

  “Yeah, baby?” he kissed my knuckles. “I’m here.”

  “Did you have someone there when Leah died?”

  “No.” His face softened. “I didn’t.”

  I looked up at him, cupping his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

  He gave me a small smile. “Don’t worry about it. My brothers have been there for me even though they don’t know what happened.”

  “But Dale does?”

  “He does.” Coby kissed my forehead, his lips lingering. “Don’t worry about that, though.”

  “Was he there for you?”

  “When he found out, yes.”

  I nodded. “I’m glad.” I leaned against him, gripping his hoodie in my hand. The scent of musk and fresh mint, wafted into my nose, making my heart stutter.

  “Now what?” Brox asked, slumping down beside me. He grabbed my free hand, curling his fingers in mine.

  “We start making arrangements.” Greyson sat on the wooden table in front of us with Blake sitting beside him. “We …” He swallowed. “Move on, I guess.”

  “Fuck.” Blake shoved to his feet, storming out of the room.

  “Take care of him,” I told Brox, squeezing his hand. “Please. I can’t do this without you guys.”

  Brox nodded, kissing my head. “Take care of our sister,” he told Coby. “Please.”

  “I will.” Coby cupped my thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  Brox left the room in search of Blake.

  “I’ll go after them,” Greyson muttered, pushing to his full height.

  Coby released my hand and stood from the chair.

  Grey took a step back, his brows narrowing in the center. His eyes were red; the corners wrinkling like had aged in a matter of hours.

  Coby stared at him for what felt like years before he pulled Grey into a hug. It wasn’t that clap a hand on your shoulder type of hug. It was a full-on bear hug.

  Grey’s body stiffened before his shoulders relaxed and he returned the embrace.

  I could hear quiet mumbling from Coby but I wasn’t able to make out anything that was being said.

&
nbsp; Greyson nodded every so often, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.

  My eyes burned.

  Coby released him, holding him at arm’s length. “I meant what I said.”

  “I know,” Greyson said, his voice thick.

  “Come here, little one.” Coby held a hand out for me.

  I wasn’t sure what exactly was going on but I did as I was told and slid my hand in his.

  Coby kissed the back of it and pushed me toward Greyson. “I’ll be out in the hall,” he whispered in my ear. He stopped at the doorway, glancing back at me.

  Thank you, I mouthed to him.

  He nodded once, disappearing around the corner.

  “Brogan.”

  At the sound of my name coming from Greyson, I threw myself in his arms.

  We fell to the couch, silently crying between us.

  “I’m so fucking sorry,” he muttered into the crook of my neck.

  “Don’t,” I pleaded. “It’s in the past.”

  “But—”

  “Please, Grey,” I pulled back. “Let’s move forward. It’s what Benny would want.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” he scrubbed his hands down his face, roughly wiping the tears from under his eyes. “But I now know that it’s done between us.”

  I held my breath, waiting for him to make a snide remark.

  “He loves you, and I know you love him. I’ll step aside and stop being a dick but I will always love you too. You can’t stop that.”

  “I know.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And a part of me will always love you a little more.”

  ***

  Depression had settled in. I tried to stop it and push it away but losing a sibling was something I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy. Shadows darkened my soul. Enraged thoughts traveled through my mind, threatening to control me and take over that last bit of hope I had.

  Coby had done everything he could to help me feel better. He held me. Put up with my random screams during the night. And kept me close by whenever we weren’t in his bedroom. I wouldn’t hurt myself. He knew that. I knew that. But he still felt the need to keep me within touching distance.

  If he was working in his office, he would keep me on his lap. If he had to go into the office, he would bring me with him. I was like a child who couldn’t take care of themselves and needed to be watched constantly but I didn’t know how to bring myself out of this.

  Benny and I had been closer than I was with the rest of my brothers. Even though he was the oldest and I was the youngest, we bonded in a way that I couldn’t with the others. When he died, he took a piece of me with him and left behind a bitter woman who couldn’t fend for herself. The only way I ate and showered was if Coby forced me. I could see him age before my eyes but no matter what he did, I couldn’t snap out of it.

  It had been a month since Benny passed away. We did the funeral and burial thing, no thanks to me. My brothers had been a Godsend.

  I couldn’t stop myself from freaking out when I watched Benny being lowered into the ground. The fact that I would never see him again or hear his deep soothing voice pushed me over the edge until I threw myself on top of his casket.

  Coby had been the only one who could pull me off it, holding me against him as I sobbed uncontrollably in his arms.

  “Little one.” Coby kissed me softly on the mouth. “Your sisters are stopping by,” he told me one afternoon.

  “Really?” I sat up, rubbing the kink in my neck.

  His eyes brightened. “Yes, baby.”

  I looked around me and then down at myself. I was wearing Coby’s boxers and t-shirt. He had fed me. Washed me. Took care of me when all I did was lay around like a lump.

  “I’m …” I swallowed hard. “Thank you.”

  “You don’t need to thank me.” He smiled softly. “I invited everyone over.”

  My head fell in my hands, my shoulders shaking. It had been a whole month. Thirty-one days. All my thoughts traveled back to the day Benny was put in the ground. The first pile of dirt landing on the casket. My screams. My rage over Benny leaving us. My brothers couldn’t console me. My sisters couldn’t. The only person who could get through to me at all was Coby, and even then, I wasn’t sure if it was enough.

  “You’ll get through this.” Coby kissed my head, rising to his feet.

  “I don’t want to,” I whispered, my words falling on deaf ears.

  ***

  (Coby)

  Once everyone stopped by, I found that I had to take a step back. Voices chattered. Hugs were passed. Brogan attempted to smile even though her eyes showcased pain and heartache.

  “How’s she doing?” Angel asked, coming up beside me and leaned against the wall.

  “Not good. She’s hiding but this is the first time I’ve seen any light in her eyes since Benny died.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “How’s Jay and the baby?”

  Angel cleared his throat. “Good. Healthy. Sorry I haven’t officially announced it.”

  I grunted. “We all have shit going on, brother.”

  “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fucking perfect,” I grumbled, needing a drink.

  “What happened to your hand?” Dale asked, nodding toward me.

  “Just a paper cut,” I answered, biting back a smirk at the bandage wrapped around my hand.

  “I’m losing my whole team,” Angel interrupted.

  “I’m still around,” I reminded him.

  “For how long?” Angel asked, rubbing a hand down his face. “Listen, I love you, all of you, but we all have our own shit going on. You, Stone, Dale, and I are all that’s left in Vice-One. The boss is riding my ass to add more to the team.”

  “Really?” My head whipped around. “How long do you have?”

  “He’s giving me until after the baby is born.”

  Which was only a couple of months. “If you need help, you know where to find me.”

  Angel clapped a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “I know.” He stepped in front of me. “Do we know who did this?” Meaning, did we know who killed Brogan’s brother.

  “Not yet.”

  “We’re going to find out, aren’t we?”

  “You bet your fucking ass we are,” I told him.

  Angel grinned. “Good.”

  ***

  (Brogan)

  My sisters huddled around me. My brothers sat nearby. Vice-One stood off to the side, watching and waiting. And Coby? He was nowhere to be found but the hairs on the back of my neck tingled, so I knew he was close by.

  “How are you doing?” Brox asked, holding my hand tight in his.

  I shrugged. I had no fucking idea how I was doing. I had no idea how I would move on from our brother dying.

  My sisters talked amongst themselves, looking my way every so often. Much like everyone else, they were waiting for me to snap.

  Rising to my feet, I headed to the kitchen in search of alcohol. Something. Anything to take me away from this pain etched into my heart.

  “There’s no alcohol here,” Coby said, standing in the doorway.

  Tears welled in my eyes. “I need to forget.”

  “Alcohol won’t do that, little one.” Coby stepped up behind me. “Trust me, I know that from experience.”

  “Then do something, Coby,” I pleaded, gripping his shirt tight in my hands. “Do anything to take away this pain. Please. I can’t deal with it.”

  Coby wrapped his arms around me.

  “I can’t …” I hiccupped, falling to my knees. “Make me forget.”

  “It will take time, Brogan,” Coby said gently, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

  “No.” I shook my head, pulling at my hair. “Make me forget now.” Throwing myself in his arms, I crashed my mouth to his.

  “Brogan,” he groaned, kissing me back. But then he did the unexpected and pushed me back, cupping my face. “Don’t.”

  I fought against him, needing to feel something other than pain. I needed to feel t
he connection he and I shared that allowed me to get out of my head. “Please, Coby.”

  “No,” he said, his voice firm.

  Shoving from his grip, I didn’t listen and continued trying to kiss him. Running my hands over his growing erection, I reveled internally that his body listened to me. It would give me what I needed whether his mind was for it or not.

  “Brogan.” He pushed me off him. “Stop this. Right now.”

  “Coby,” Dale said from the entryway to the kitchen.

  “Leave us,” Coby boomed before aiming his fury back at me. “You’re coming with me.” He pulled me to my feet, dragging me behind him until we reached his bedroom. Slamming the door behind him, he pushed me onto the bed. “You want me? Is this how you want to forget?” He was on me before I could comprehend what was going on. His tongue forced its way into my mouth, shoving and sliding against mine until I was writhing beneath him. His hands slid down my body, rough and needy, bordering on desperate. He released my mouth, staring down at me with dark lust filled eyes. “You want me to fuck you until you pass out and forget all the shit that’s happened?”

  Tears welled in my eyes, rolling down my cheeks. “I can’t deal with this,” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands.

  “So, you think fucking me will help?” He pulled me to the edge of the bed, towering over me.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “Baby.” His face softened. “It doesn’t work that way.”

  “I just need to feel something other than this pain. This agony.” I gripped my chest. “It hurts, Coby. It hurts so damn much.” The cries wracked through me, shattering from within.

  “You can’t cover this pain with alcohol or sex.” Coby knelt between my legs, pulling my hands from my face. “You need time. All of you need it.” He wrapped his arms around me, holding me in his lap. “Let it out, little one. Let it all out.”

  ***

  (Coby)

  Before I met Brogan, if a woman begged for me to fuck her, no matter the situation, I would have. I would have drove so deep inside her body she would forget that she ever begged in the first place. But with Brogan, my little one, I wasn’t able to do it. As much as my body desired her begging, it wasn’t right.