Something New

by Amanda Abram

  Only when I let out the slightest of whimpers did reality come crashing down on me. The reality of what was happening. Of what we were doing. And almost just as quickly as the kiss began, I ended it by pushing him away.

  My hand flew up to my mouth in shock as we stood there, both trying desperately to catch our breath.

  Dylan’s own look of shock quickly turned into one of mortification. “Shit,” he said, running both hands through his hair. “Cass, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—I shouldn’t have—”

  “It’s okay,” I said quickly, dropping down onto the edge of his bed and blindly gathering my things.

  “No, it’s not okay.” He started pacing back and forth in front of me. “That was not supposed to happen.”

  “It’s okay,” I repeated, although I wasn’t sure that was true. I stood back up and threw my backpack over my shoulder. “I should head out.”

  I moved past him toward his bedroom door, but his hand shot out and grabbed my arm to stop me.

  “Wait. We need to talk about this.”

  “I know,” I agreed, staring at the floor. “I just need some time. We’ll talk tomorrow. I’m going to ask Lauren to come pick me up.” As I turned to go, I added a muttered, “Sorry,” before rushing out of the room.

  I wasn’t sure what I was sorry about. Sorry for allowing him to kiss me? Sorry for kissing him back? Or sorry for liking it?

  I pushed that thought out of my head as I flew down the stairs, hoping Dylan wasn’t going to follow me.

  “Hey,” Mrs. Meyers said, poking her head out of the kitchen as I threw on my jacket, “where are you going? I thought you were staying for dinner?”

  “I’m not feeling well,” I lied.

  She came out of the kitchen and walked over to me, looking me up and down. “Hmm. You do look a little feverish.” She held her hand against my forehead. “And you’re burning up. You should go home and get some rest. We’ll have you over for leftovers, how does that sound?”

  I forced a smile onto my face. “That sounds good. I’ll see you later, Mrs. Meyers.”

  “See you later, sweetie,” she said, returning the smile.

  As soon as I was out of the house, I pulled out my phone and dialed Lauren’s number. She picked up after the second ring.

  “Cassie?” she said. “What’s up?”

  “Can you come pick me up at Dylan’s?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound as normal as possible.

  “Yeah, sure,” she said. “I’ll be right there.”

  She asked no questions before hanging up, and for that I was glad.

  It only took her a few minutes to get there, and by the time she arrived, I was standing on the sidewalk, hugging myself and bouncing in place to keep warm.

  Lauren rolled down the passenger door window and leaned over so she could see me. “Is everything okay?”

  I wasn’t planning on telling her anything, but as soon as I saw her face, I wanted to tell her everything. Not just about what had happened a few minutes ago, but about what had been happening for the last couple of weeks. I’d been keeping secrets from her for too long now, and it was time to come clean.

  I shook my head furiously back and forth. “Dylan kissed me,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

  I was expecting her jaw to drop. I expected her to gasp and clutch her pearls. But she didn’t. Instead, she just sighed, reached over, and opened the door for me.

  “Get in the car, sweetie,” she said with a sympathetic smile. “We have a lot to talk about.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  “How did this happen, Cassie?”

  I climbed onto my bed and curled into a fetal position, closing my eyes. “I don’t know,” I moaned into my pillow.

  Lauren sat down next to me and gave my back a reassuring rub with her hand. “Tell me everything.”

  After picking me up at Dylan’s, Lauren said she wanted to wait until we got to my house before having this conversation. She claimed she couldn’t handle driving and dealing with my drama at the same time. That idea sounded fine to me at the time, but now that we were in the comfort of my own bedroom, I suddenly didn’t want to talk anymore.

  “I don’t know what to say,” I mumbled.

  “Just start at the beginning.”

  I sat up beside Lauren and put my head on her shoulder. “I don’t even know where the beginning is.”

  She slipped an arm around my back and snuggled me close. “Okay, just tell me about the middle and the end.”

  I chewed on my lower lip nervously. This was the part where I told her how much time I’d been spending with Dylan lately. How I had lied to her about being sick and about family game night. Although, the latter wasn’t a lie, just more of an omission.

  “Dylan and I have been spending a lot of time together,” I said, lifting my head off her shoulder. “And not just to work on our project.”

  “So, you two have become friends?”

  I stared down at my hands in my lap. “Yes, we have. And Laur, I’ve lied to you about some stuff recently. I’m so sorry.”

  She inhaled sharply and held her breath for a moment before slowly letting it back out. “What have you lied to me about?”

  “The night of the Ellsworth Prep party,” I began, “I brought some of Jade’s special tea to Dylan’s house after work because I thought he was sick. I was just going to drop it off and leave, but then he talked me into watching Die Hard with him. I was only going to stay for twenty minutes or so, but then decided I didn’t want to go to the party after all. I just wanted to watch the rest of the movie. That’s when I called to tell you I wasn’t feeling well.”

  Lauren pursed her lips together and I could tell from the look on her face she was disappointed. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

  “Because I figured you would get the wrong idea.”

  Lauren crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, seeing as though you and Dylan kissed tonight, I’d say maybe I would have gotten the right idea.”

  “Touché,” I mumbled, burying my face in my hands.

  “Okay, so, what other lies would you like to tell me about?”

  “Family game night.”

  “You lied about there being a family game night so you wouldn’t have to go on a double date with me and Jake?” she asked, her voice laced with hurt.

  “No,” I said quickly. “There really was a game night, but my mom suggested I invite Dylan. And at the end of the night, we almost kissed.”

  Lauren slapped the palm of her hand against her forehead. “You and Dylan almost kissed days ago, and you’re just telling me now? After you actually did just kiss? Why would you keep something like that from me?”

  “Because,” I said, removing my hands from my face. “I was confused. I didn’t know if I was just imagining things. I didn’t want you to think that—”

  “What, that you and Dylan were hot for each other? I didn’t need your help figuring that out.”

  I could feel a wave of blood rushing straight to my cheeks. “W-what are you talking about?”

  Lauren rolled her eyes. “It’s been so obvious to me ever since you told me he lectured you about going to the Ellsworth Prep party. I thought, ‘why would Dylan care what parties Cassie goes to?’ and the only explanation I could come up with was that he didn’t want you meeting any guys there who could become competition for him.”

  “What? Laur, that’s absurd.”

  “Not really,” she said. “I watched both of you carefully after that. I started noticing the way he acted around you. The way he looked at you.”

  “How did he look at me?” I asked nonchalantly, as if I really didn’t care.

  “Like a lovesick puppy.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You seriously never noticed?”

  “No,” I said numbly, shaking my head.

  “Not that you’ve been any better. Your little display at Elijah’s earlier is what tipped me off to your true feelings.”

  “What ‘display’?”


  “Oh, Dylan,” she said, obviously mimicking my voice, “why are you asking Claire to Winter Formal? You don’t even know her!” She stopped to smirk. “I’ve never seen you so jealous in my life. Not even when Elijah got paired up with Hannah for the project.”

  “Jealous? What are you talking about?”

  “You know what I’m talking about. You hated the idea of Dylan going to Winter Formal with Claire.”

  She was right. I did hate the idea of Dylan going to Winter Formal with Claire, or with any other girl for that matter.

  “Just admit it, Cassie,” Lauren said. “You like Dylan.”

  I swallowed hard at her accusation but played it cool. “Yeah, I like him. He’s a good friend.”

  “No, I mean you like-like Dylan. You love Dylan.”

  No. There was no way I could like Dylan. Not like that. I’d never thought of him that way. In fact, until just a couple of weeks ago, I never thought of him at all. He was just my boyfriend’s best friend. I’d never thought of him as someone I could talk to. Someone I could turn to. Someone whose opinion I cared about. Someone I wanted to spend all my free time with. Watching movies, cooking together, or even just talking…

  “Oh my God,” I moaned, returning my face to my hands. “You’re right. I like-like Dylan.”

  When had this happened? How had this happened?

  And better yet, why had this happened?

  Lauren clapped her hands together once and declared, “I called it! I knew it!”

  I peeked through two of my fingers to see her smug smile. Dropping my hands, I grabbed onto hers tightly. “Laur, what am I going to do?”

  Lauren shifted so she was facing me. “Okay, the first thing you’re going to do is to answer the following question: is Dylan a good kisser?”

  My face flushed at her question. Was Dylan a good kisser? I didn’t know how to answer that. Our kiss was brief, and I’d been too busy thinking about what was happening to pay attention to technique. All I knew was that his lips had fit perfectly against mine, and that the memory of the kiss was causing my whole body to tingle. Bringing my fingers up to my lips, I smiled.

  “He’s amazing,” I breathed.

  “I figured,” Lauren said, her mouth morphing into a smile for a couple of seconds before the expression on her face suddenly grew somber. “It’s too bad you won’t be able to kiss him again, though.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed solemnly. But when it dawned on me what she’d said, I shot her a confused glance. “Wait, why not?”

  She stared at me, as if waiting for the realization to sink in. “You and Dylan can never happen. You know that, right?”

  Yes. Deep down, I knew we could never happen. I think I’d known it all along, which was why I’d subconsciously kept myself from acknowledging my feelings until now.

  “He’s the best friend of your ex-boyfriend,” Lauren explained, even though I didn’t need her to. “The ex-boyfriend who is still in love with you and actively trying to win you back. The ex-boyfriend you agreed to go to Winter Formal with. If he ever found out Dylan kissed you, he would be furious. And if Dylan tried to pursue a relationship with you, it would be an immediate end to seventeen years of friendship between them. Elijah would never forgive him.”

  I nodded as my stomach turned, making me feel queasy. Either I was just way overdue for dinner, or this whole situation was starting to take its toll on me.

  “Trust me, you do not want to be the reason Dylan loses his best friend. Not if you like him as much as I think you do.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “I get it. But there’s nothing to worry about, because Dylan and I aren’t planning on dating each other.”

  “Well, good, because I can’t picture a scenario where this ends well for anyone.”

  I fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. “So, what do I do now?”

  Lauren fell back with me and clasped her hands over her stomach. “Well, for starters, you and Dylan need to keep your hands off each other and agree to just be friends. After that, you need to figure out what you want to do about Elijah. I don’t think you want to go to Winter Formal with him, and if that’s true, then you need to tell him. And if you don’t plan on ever getting back together with him, you need to tell him that too. Leading him on will only make matters worse.” She rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow. “You need to distance yourself from both of those boys as soon as possible. If you don’t, you’re only asking for trouble.”

  I frowned. “I’m so confused right now.”

  Lauren chuckled softly. “Of course, you are. Just a couple of weeks ago, you thought you were in love with Elijah. But he broke your heart, and then Dylan rode in on his white horse and swept you off your feet. It would be sweet if it weren’t for the situation.” She paused. “Why couldn’t you have just come to the Ellsworth Prep party and fallen for some random guy instead?”

  Because that would have been too easy. Falling for Dylan was the worst possible thing I could do, and Lauren was right—if I let things go too far with him, someone was going to get hurt.

  “I’ll talk to Dylan tomorrow,” I said. “I’ll straighten everything out.”

  “Good.” Lauren draped her arm over my stomach and snuggled up against me. “And after it’s all straightened out, I’m going to introduce you to Jake’s friend. He’ll make you forget about Dylan in no time.”

  It sounded like a great plan. It really did. But there was only one problem.

  I wasn’t so sure I wanted to forget about him.

  ◆◆◆

  By the time Lauren and I arrived at school the next morning, I had myself convinced that whatever feelings I thought I might have had for Dylan were no big deal. That they were just the product of some stupid school project. A school project which had already caused enough damage in my life by making my boyfriend think he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. Now, it was trying to fool me into thinking I liked Dylan as more than a friend.

  “So, when are you planning on having the talk with Dylan?” Lauren asked as she grabbed a book out of her locker.

  “Later,” I said. “After school maybe.”

  “Or, you could have it right now,” she suggested, pointing past my shoulder.

  I turned to see Dylan talking to a group of his friends at the end of the hallway. As if he could sense me looking at him, his gaze shot over to me and my heart skipped a beat as our eyes met.

  “Um,” I said, feeling suddenly distracted. I turned back to Lauren. “I don’t think right now is a good time.”

  Lauren’s lips formed a tight line as her eyes scanned my face. “You’re blushing.”

  “What?” I asked, bringing a hand up to my cheek. It did feel warmer than usual.

  “You’re blushing. You looked over at Dylan, and then you blushed.” She sighed as she closed her locker door. “You’ve got it bad for him, don’t you?”

  “No,” I said firmly. “It’s just a harmless crush. And it’s not even a big crush, just a tiny one. So tiny, in fact, that it’s barely even there.”

  “I want to believe you, Cassie, but I don’t. Regardless, I think you need to get this over with as soon as possible.”

  “I don’t think this is an appropriate place to have that conversation with him,” I said, lowering my voice. “The wrong person might overhear.”

  “Then go somewhere private.”

  I glanced at our surroundings. There was not one private area to be found. “Like where? The janitor’s closet?”

  She thought about it for a second before shaking her head. “No way. It would be too tempting for you two to just start making out in there.”

  “Ha-ha, very funny.” I shot her a glare. “I’ll just talk to him later. When I’m ready. For now, I need to grab some books out of my locker. I’ll see you later.”

  I didn’t give her a chance to protest before I took off past her. I only made it about five steps before she called after me, “Cassie, your locker is in the ot
her direction.”

  I knew that. But I also knew if I went in the right direction, I’d have to walk by Dylan, and I was trying to avoid that.

  “I’m taking the long way.” I lifted my wrist and pointed to my smartwatch. “I’m trying to reach my steps goal.”

  Lauren snorted. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you at lunch.”

  I felt a sense of relief as I made my way toward my locker. I wasn’t ready to deal with Dylan just yet, mainly because I didn’t know how to. I knew the right thing to do was to tell him that our kiss meant nothing and that we needed to just remain friends, but there was also a part of me that wanted to finish what we’d started last night before I had foolishly pushed him away.

  I was so lost in thought that by the time my locker came into view and I saw Dylan leaning against it, it was too late to turn around and make a stealthy escape.

  But it wasn’t for lack of trying.

  As soon as I saw him, I spun on my heel and attempted to disappear into a group of freshmen girls making their way down the hall in the opposite direction. But Dylan was too quick, and only seconds later his hand grabbed onto mine and yanked me back from the crowd.

  “Nice try, Briggs,” he smirked, “but you’re not going to avoid me that easily.”

  “I wasn’t trying to avoid you,” I lied. “I just remembered I had to go tell Lauren something.”

  “Okay, I’ll pretend to believe that one,” he said. “But then why did you take the long way to your locker?”

  “Extra steps,” I replied weakly, pointing once again to my smartwatch.

  He glanced down at it with a look of amusement on his face. “When did you start using that thing as a fitness tracker?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. “Since I decided I wanted to get fit.”

  “Okay, okay,” Dylan said with a chuckle. “Look, Cass, you can relax. I just wanted to invite you to my party on Saturday.”

  I blinked at him in surprise. “A party? You’re having a party?”

  He nodded. “Yep. My mom’s going away this weekend to a sales conference. She asked my dad to come back home and stay with me, but he called me last night to tell me that unless I want him to come home, he’ll stay away for the entire weekend. And then he lowkey suggested I throw a party.”