Girl with all the Pain

by Michael Herman

  He nods his head. “Pretty much. But sometimes when I’m restless, counting helps.”

  “Sheep? Why sheep?”

  “Now that is a good question. You are obviously wise beyond your years,” he teases with exaggeration.

  “What?” His less than perfect Spanish makes it somewhat hard for her to understand him, and his accent adds to the difficulty.

  “Smart. You are very smart for a small ten-year-old girl. No one ever tell you that?”

  She shakes her head.

  “Well, then it is my honor to bestow upon you the Zed Brown super-smart crown-of-intelligence.” He walks over to a vine climbing up the pen enclosure, pulls off a length of it, spends a moment weaving it into a circle then turns to her with a, “Ta-da! The crown-of-intelligence.” He places it on her head and says, “I crown you smarter than me when I was your age. So tell me something smart, like maybe the species and genus of this lamb.”

  She looks at the lamb and says, “This is Goldensheep. Mixed breed of five different animals, east Friesian or Milchshaf being the majority percentage, part Texel, part Dorset Down, part Finnish Landrance, and one more that I can’t remember. Don’t know the genus or species. Sorry.”

  Zed is flabbergasted. “Your knowledge of animals is beyond your years. Well done.” He drops to one knee and bows his head, removes an imaginary hat and says playfully, “I bow to your brilliance, young lady. I will never question you again.”

  His play-acting amuses Isabel. She’s never had anyone treat her like this. The new Isabel seems to be a great success.

  Zed rises and asks, “So you ever gone horseback riding? They have horses here, even a small racetrack. Want to check them out? We’ll let the others know first, what do you think?”

  “Sister Mary?”

  “Of course. We can’t do anything without checking in with her first. We wouldn’t want to worry her, thinking maybe you were kidnapped by nasty Goldensheep or wild alpacas or something.”

  Isabel pats his arm and says gravely, “Don’t worry, they won’t kidnap us. They don’t do things like that.”

  Zed smiles in false relief and wipes imaginary sweat from his brow. “Shoo. Glad to know that. So what do you say? Horses?”

  Suddenly excited by the opportunity, Isabel grabs his hand and pulls him towards the gate. They rush back to Sister Mary, get her permission and then hurry off to the stables. When they arrive and walk into the stable, Zed leads her to two black horses, identical in every way, behind a wood and metal door assembly with top bars that drop down gracefully to the center door. The animals, one on the left and one on the right of the door, are feeding out of bags that hang from the bars. Their ebony coats glisten under the glow of the hanging ceiling lights.

  Zed opens the door to the double stall and leads her into the enclosure. As they walk between the two horses, the animals pay them little heed. Both are mares. Both tower over little Isabel. Zed steps to the one on the right, gives it a few pats on the back and then, lowering his face to the animal, makes a show of breathing deeply. After he exhales, he says, “Smell that? It is the essence of equine living. Once it’s in your blood, it never leaves and you crave it when you are away from it.” He laughs. “At least that’s what the jockeys who ride these horses tell me.” He stops and corrects himself, “Well, not these specific horses, they’re only for you and me. The twin brought them here. You like them?”

  Isabel approaches the nearest one cautiously and strokes its fur-covered haunch that ripples with muscle under her touch. “Chilean Corralero. Oldest registered Native American breed. All Chilean school children know about them and take great pride in them.”

  “So I’m told. The twin thought you might like to take them for a ride, says they’ll be preternaturally responsive to you and me. She says that even people with no experience like us will have little problem with them. Nothing to worry about. What do you think? Ready for a new adventure? Ready to become a huasa?”

  Isabel, intimidated by its size and the prospect of trying to control it, steps back from the huge animal. The animal tips the scales at over half a ton, where she weighs in at less than 100 pounds. But there is something about it that appeals to her. When it turns its head from its feed bag and looks at her with its big black eyes, she feels a strange camaraderie with it, as if it were a cat craving affection, looking for a gentle hand to stroke it. There is intelligence in its eyes, even maybe a gleam. She reaches up to its muzzle and caresses it. Its nostrils flare and its ears twist about. It blinks and nods its head up and down as if in silent communication.

  “It will mean wearing new clothes. Spurs, cool helmet, the traditional country dress with ruffles, boots, colorful sash, stylish jacket...”

  “Yes!” the idea of new clothes for the new Isabel is the deal maker that dispels her reservations.

  “Great! Twizzle and Sister Mary can help you pick through the wardrobe that the twin had delivered here for you.”

  When they leave the stall and Zed closes the gate, the black mare she petted walks to the center gate, thrusts its head out beyond the gate and watches. Isabel nods to the horse, which nods in return. She senses its intelligence and has a good feeling about it. This is going to be fun.

  About an hour later, after much fanfare over the new clothes and after the horses have been saddled and prepped by the stable crew, Isabel and Zed sit happily mounted on their leather saddles. They are inside a circular pen where a stablehand stands at the center with a rope attached to Isabel’s mare. In his other hand, he waves a thin whip that he uses gently on the horse’s thigh to prod it forward around the outer edge of the enclosure. In this manner, he instructs Isabel on things such as: Holding the reins properly, neck reining, tapping and squeezing the horse with her legs, having her hands bob back and forth with the horse’s head as it moves, steering, doing a posting trot and a sitting trot, and direct reining for an emergency.

  Isabel marvels at how the horse seems so in tune with her, forgiving her initial clumsiness and then rewarding her eventual competency. She had no idea riding a horse could be so much fun. Beaming with confidence at the end of her lessons, she waves to Sister Mary and Twizzle, who watch from the other side of the metal paddock.

  Sister Mary applauds and Twizzle yells, “Bravo!”

  When the instructor releases her, he congratulates her on a job well done.

  Once Isabel and her horse are let out of the ring, Zed takes his place in the enclosure and he goes through the same lessons. Isabel, still seated on her horse, watches and adds encouragement when Zed pretends hardship and yells to her that she was so much better at it than he is.

  When he finishes, Zed and Isabel, still on their horses, are led out into the larger fenced-in pasture where the trainer starts with, “Let’s bring the horses to a trot.”

  He drops back to prompt Isabel, instructing her to bounce up and down as she learned inside the circular enclosure. Ambling on his horse next to her, he maintains his patter, correcting her when she makes mistakes and using himself as an example of how to ride. Zed, watching closely, tells Isabel she is his model of competency.

  As Isabel matches her movements to the horse’s movements, they become more synchronized and fluid. Her body quickly learns and adapts to the horse’s body and responds accordingly. Progressing rapidly, she feels herself becoming an extension of it. Her balance and coordination are in full play. They interlink to such a degree that, in a moment of ambitious abandon, she and the horse break away from Zed and the trainer into a full gallop towards the far edge of the fenced field.

  In flight, they become a wedding of form and purpose. The horse’s body is a mass of constantly shifting contours, with a bobbing head and neck. At a full run, its muscles roil over its body. Intuitively crouching and leaning forward, she places all her weight onto her toes. The only parts of her body in constant contact with the horse are the insides of her feet and ankles and calves. With the horse in full stride, her body balances in midair over its body. So engross
ed in the ride is she that she literally forgets everyone else. The world is just her, the horse and the ground they dash over. Only the sounds of the horse’s feet striking the ground, its heavy breathing, and her calves against the saddle enter her consciousness. She thrills when the horse hits the railing and takes it with one mighty leap, sailing high and landing on the other side. Synchronicity has been achieved.

  Exhilarated by the jump, she heads out into the surrounding wild fields in full gallop. Rider and horse develop fused wills and are now one entity, both of the same mind, both of the same purpose. Isabel’s reflexes are at peak performance. When it turns, so does she. When it jumps, so does she. It’s nothing like she has ever experienced. It’s as if she has been set free from a cage to do what is natural for her. It’s complete and total abandonment where nothing outside of the horse, racing over the soft field, matters. She and the mare are masters of their universe. She is a pint-sized pilot riding a half-ton catapult as the horse travels full stride.

  In that moment, the unparalleled exhilaration is transcendent. The liberation is a siren song, the fast speed a tenfold high. Sailing high off the ground, she is a beast that is emphatically alive and free.

  Nirvana is achieved.

  Chapter 37

  Day 4

  Santiago, Chile

  “What was that about?” Rafa asks Twizzle after hearing the story of Isabel’s remarkable ride with her mare.

  “It was the twin’s idea. The twin horses are twin avatars. The twin wanted to get closer to Isabel. She had Zed introduce Isabel to the horses and then, once Isabel received some preliminary training, she bonded with Isabel through her avatar horse. Seems like it worked better than expected.”

  Rafa laughs. “Isabel will be the talk of the farm after this morning’s adventure. Already I catch people murmuring about what a natural she is. Word spreads fast.”

  “Sister Mary was especially proud of her. I suggested a victory celebration for dinner tonight.”

  “Isabel wasn’t exhausted after that outing?”

  “Oh yes. She nearly collapsed on rubbery legs after the run, but she’s a child. They bounce back quickly. I think she’s still energized by the excitement of it all.”

  Rafa frowns. “The twin is still adamant about Isabel?”

  Twizzle looks away. “Sonnet says the twin is frightened, very apprehensive.”

  “So why go there? There’s no other solution?”

  “Nope. Not according to the twin.” Her phone rings, she answers it, listens and then puts it away. “You and I need to bolt. We need to catch a flight from the Metropolitana Airport to El Loa Airport tonight. We’ll pick up a rental at El Loa and drive to San Pedro de Atacama, get a room for the night and then on to the laser array operations facility in the morning. We’ll be there when they run the first test tomorrow. The space probe launch is a go. They’ll be testing the laser array push in the early afternoon.”

  “What about everyone else? I thought you wanted everybody there.”

  “Isabel needs watching over. Sonnet and the twin need to be around her. Zed is working out as a good match to Isabel. Forbes and Ángel can watch over everyone.”

  “And Sister Mary?”

  “You don’t feel her? She’s becoming one of us as the day grows old.”

  “Yeah, I’m getting a sense of her. Weak but still...”

  “When the time comes, I think she’ll have transitioned completely.”

  “Can we get plane reservations on this short notice?”

  “Already made for us. All we have to do is get to the airport in time. We say our goodbyes and go.”

  One-half hour later, Twizzle and Rafa are being driven out of the farm by one of the farm hands as Forbes and Zed wave goodbye.

  “Dang!” Zed complains. “I was hoping Sonnet and I could do a leisurely tour of the Atacama Desert while everyone watched the testing.”

  “The desert is not going anywhere, Zed. You have plenty of time. Besides, you have a new girlfriend to attend to,” Forbes says, teasing Zed about Isabel’s friendliness with him during introductions to the animals.

  Zed snorts. “Nothing and no one can measure up to Isabel’s Sister Mary. They’re like frick and frack, I swear. I have never seen two people so enamored with each other. Was it like that for you with Maggie and Bob?”

  “I was just your normal kid. Nothing special that I remember. They were just mom and dad. I was too young to be aware of stuff like that. Besides, Isabel is not your normal ten-year-old.”

  Zed laughs. “She may not really be a ten-year-old, but what she is, well it certainly is charming. When I have kids, I’ll count myself lucky if they have half her acumen. I mean her knowledge of animals...”

  “Zed, she’s an avatar.”

  “I know, I know. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact when I’m with her but, really, forgetting it? That just makes being with her easier. She’s a precious child.”

  “An avatar of a child. Like when Sonnet’s avatar was murdered in the Congo.”

  “Yeah...and no. It’s different with Isabel. Isabel is all there is of her Gi. With Sonnet’s avatar, it was disturbing to see her killed, but not terminally traumatic. With Isabel, I mean the kid is all she is.”

  “Ángel seems to understand.”

  “He’s had more time with her and is on a different level with her. For all I know, he’s just an avatar too.”

  “The twin says no.”

  “Yeah, I know. So you and the twin and everybody else find what you were looking for in the old mineshaft and cave?”

  “We transferred the snake Gi to its new home under the mountain. Tomorrow we all go spelunking.”

  “We meaning Sister Mary and Isabel too, I presume.”

  “They are the stars of the party.”

  “So while Twizzle and Rafa look to the heavens, we travel down to the underworld. I guess there is some poetics to that.”

  “Things will be different after tomorrow.”

  “Hopefully we all survive to see the difference.”

  Chapter 38

  Day 4

  Santiago, Chile

  Isabel barely made it through the celebration dinner; she was so tired from all the day’s activity, especially the horseback ride. Now climbing into bed and pulling the blankets up over her shoulders and nuzzling her head into the freshly laundered pillow, she falls quickly to sleep as Sister Mary speaks to her. The words become just fading sounds as she drifts off into unconsciousness.

  Inside her sleep, she is once again on the mountaintop beneath the statue of the Immaculate Conception overlooking nighttime Santiago. She is crouched down on all fours, her tail twitching back and forth as Ángel squats next to her, stroking her black fur with his large hands. On the other side of her, the twin stands and looks out to the north. Below them, the ones Isabel has caused to die are assembled in sporadic groupings, all with their faces turned to her, watching her and waiting, silent with pregnant focus.

  Her eyes track over them; unconcerned and merely noting their presence. Ángel raises his head to the twin and speaks in low tones about the menace to the north that coils and readies itself to snap. Beneath the ground, all of them feel the stirrings that signal its preparations and movement. There is angst in the twin’s voice, a worry Isabel doesn’t share. The monster to the north is not as much of a concern for her as it is for the twin. Isabel has immense confidence and sureness about the future now that the twin and Ángel are here. All will be well in ways that neither of them can ever imagine, in ways that Isabel cannot communicate, in ways that were predetermined long ago, before either the twin or Ángel was created.

  The coming conflict has been foreseen and preparations have been made. Now all the parts are in place and it is only a matter of timing now. Her tail flicks back and forth in anticipation.

  Very soon she will become what she was always been meant to be. She will transform into the weapon she was genetically constructed to become by minds much greater than
the three of them, minds with much clearer vision, minds prescient and intelligent beyond anything on Earth.

  Soon, so very soon it will all happen.

  Isabel stands, chirrups, and then roars towards the north. Rolling her head around on her shoulders, she flexes her muscles, leans back and then leaps into the air, over the ones below who watch and patiently wait. She lands in full stride and rushes out into the night.

  This will be her last night to roam the wild countryside as the powerful animal she is. Without looking back at either Ángel or the twin, she disappears from their view. Neither is concerned for her safety, neither worries about her return, both know that tomorrow’s daylight will see her as the world has never seen her before.

  Chapter 39

  Day 5

  San Pedro de Atacama, Chile

  As peacocks go, the one Rafa watches through the open wood-and-glass doors leading out of the Hotel dining room appears as interested in Rafa as he is in it. Cocking its head in his direction and then cocking it again, it focuses solely on him. It lets out three high-pitched calls, turns it body towards him, and then slowly shivers its tail plumage out into a huge fan that dwarfs its slender luminescent blue-green body. It studies him with one eye then turns its head to take him in with the other. After a few moments, it loses interest and slowly saunters away.

  Twizzle is standing behind him talking on her phone and watching the performance. As the bird moves out of view, she finishes, pockets the phone and sits down to have breakfast with Rafa.

  “Think it’s a pet or just wild?” Rafa asks.

  “Maybe abandoned. In Pasadena, California, hundreds of peacocks roam the neighborhoods. They got their start there when they were imported from India by a developer in the 1880’s. Always a sight to see when you drive by a house with a huge peacock sitting on its roof.”