The Stainless Steel Rat Joins the Circus ssr-11

by Harry Harrison

  I felt a slight measure better after I put my head under the running water. Toweled myself dry, put on my face back on and went out to meet my master.

  He looked at my rumpled state and said nothing. Merely curled his lip as he went to the table that was still cluttered with the greasy remains of Igor’s last meal. He swept everything to the floor.

  “Igor-clean this mess up.”

  He sat in a chair and waited until the muttering Igor had kicked the scraps to one side. A slight improvement. Then Igor went and lay on his bunk and turned on his gogglebox. Chaise waved me over. I moved the chair so I would not have my back facing the room, sat down.

  “What do you know about bearer bonds?” he asked.

  “Something to do with whips, leather straps?”

  “Either you are being facetious-or you are as much of an imbecile as Igor. Not bondage but bonds. A financial entity.”

  “Ohh. I didn’t know.” Although I did. But I could see he was ready for a lecture so I let him have his flan.

  “Bonds, of which you seem to be ignorant, are certificates of ownership of a specified portion of a debt due by government, or some business organization, perhaps an airline, or other corporation, to individual holders, and usually bearing a fixed rate of interest. These are duly registered in the purchaser’s name and records are kept. If they are later sold there is a record of the sale and purchase. But bearer bonds are quite different. There are no names involved. They can be bought and sold easily and are as good as cash to the owner. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?”

  “A piece of paper worth a lot of cash to whoever has their hands on it.”

  “Generally speaking, yes.”

  “And I’ll bet that you know where there is a bunch of these bonds and you want me to grab them for you?”

  “Speaking crudely-again, yes.”

  “Good. But before we talk about that I want you to tell me about Angelina.”

  “She is fine and sends you her love.” Chaise was perfectly repellent when he smirked.

  “Don’t patronize me, you kidnapping crook. I want hard evidence, not generalities.” I looked around, then saw in the rubbish on the floor the printouts he had brought, with the headlines about the armored-car theft. I seized them, dusted off the top sheet and handed it to him.

  “Take this. And bring me back a video of you handing it. to my wife. Let her read the news, then hold it up to the camera. Then I want her to say something that will positively identify her. Tell her that. She will think of something.”

  He chewed his lip in thought, then shook his head. “That will be difficult and time-consuming. Impossible.”

  “Make it possible. Because I am not planning and executing any more crimes for you until I have seen her alive and well.”

  He thought deeply about this, then realized that I meant what I said. I had no intention of continuing to aid him without some reassurances. “All right. I will do it. But in return you must study a certain building in great detail. Become so familiar with it that you can find your way around, it in the dark.”

  Why not? I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

  “All right. What do you have?”

  He took a palmtop computer from his case and put it on the table between us. “I have a mole, a very deep mole, who was planted in this particular building some years ago. He has been taking photographs of this building all of that time.” He typed in a command and a holopic of an immense white structure appeared before us. Mighty pillars supported a great plinth. Stairs led up the entrance behind the pillars and, as the point of view moved forwards, I could read the words incised in the marble above.

  PLANETARY CENTRAL DEPOSITORY

  “Let me guess,” I said. “Somewhere in this monetary mausoleum is a room or rooms stuffed with bearer bonds.”

  “Correct,” he said.

  “Front entrance, “ the computer said in a deep masculine voice.

  “You will tour this building while “I am away,” he said.

  “You can walk through it with the virtual reality program, study it closely. Open and close doors, remember everything.

  By the time I return I expect you to be completely familiar with it. When you have done that-why, then I will tell you what you have to do.”

  I considered this briefly-then nodded. “Do it. I’m not going anyplace.”

  He started to stand. I stopped him. “Will Igor be in on this next job?”

  “I imagine so. Yes, he will probably be needed.”

  “Then put the frighteners on him. He hit me-so I hit him back. Very hard. Can you convince him that if he touches me again, that I will kill him?”

  “Igor!” his master shouted. Our loutish companion looked up from the gogglebox. Stood and shambled over.

  “I believe that you and Jim here have had a difference of opinion.”

  “Don’t like him.”

  “Neither do I. But we must work together. You will look after him and guard him well. Because if anything happens to him-the same thing will happen to you. And if you try to escape I will surely find you. Remember the last time?”

  Igor was looking very unhappy. Clutching at his trousers, looking around the room, finally speaking in a low voice.

  “Remember…”

  “Good. Than I shall not have to do that kind of thing a second time.” He turned to me before he left. “You are safe. I’ll give you one day. When I return you will be an authority on this building.”

  “I will-as long as you bring the video I asked for. And another thing. I want a key to the front door. I can’t eat the swill this creature does.”

  He made a quick decision. Dropped the key on the table and left. I turned to the computer.

  I was interested in the building-why shouldn’t I be? considering the assets that should be stored there. When I had visited most of the structure and could find my way around easily, I started looking into some of the more interesting vaults. Banknotes, freshly minted coins, stores of specie and bullion. It was so restful.

  After a couple of hours I knew everything that I would need to know to satisfy my employer. I yawned and stretched. It was time for a beer. Or breakfast. Or both. And more than time to talk to the twins.

  Igor looked up when I started for the door. Cringed and looked quickly back at the screen. I almost felt sorry for him. Thin screams and moans came from the set and I kept my eyes averted when I passed, not caring to examine his viewing taste too closely.

  I entered the precincts of the mechomart and probed a little deeper into its bowels, until I found an upmarket restaurant that actually had a human headwaiter. Or a well-disguised robot.

  “Good day, sire. Luncheon is about to be served. Today’s special is steak. Genetically restored, genuine Jurassic Brontosaurus steak. Very lean, grilled to your choice. The normal order is one kilo, but for the really hungry we can serve any size portion. Ten, twenty, thirty kilos-“ I raised my hand, almost losing my appetite at the thought.

  But the robot kitchen was good, the robot service fast, the drinks tasty and cold. Well-refreshed I left and went to the telephone dispenser I had used before. But this time I bought the cheapest model, then found a quiet spot in an alleyway to make my call. But only after I had put the eavesdropping bugs on the ground and walked away from them.

  “Dad! Good to hear from you. We spotted Chaise leaving the warehouse, but lost track of him on the payway. ”

  “Going north?”

  “You got it. “

  “I thought he might.” I explained about my need to see recent evidence of Angelina’s safety, as well as the preparation for the new crime. “I thought he might go to Sunkist-by-the-Sea. He is sure to have a residence there. When he said it would take some time to make the video I was pretty sure he did not have her here in the city.”

  “So what to we do? “

  “Just what you are doing now. Hold fast and keep an eye on Chaise whenever you can without alerting him to the surveilla
nce.”

  “We’ll do better than that. I will, me, Believer, will keep an eye on this superswine. That frees James with his computer know-how to do a little snooping around in the public records of Sunkist-by-the-Sea. See if we can’t track down his property holdings. “

  “Brilliant. I’ll phone back tomorrow when I know more about the next job in my new crime career.” I dropped the phone into a rubbish bin and retrieved all the little eavesdroppers. Put them back into my pocket.

  I .was cheered by the sorely needed help the boys were supplying. Depressed by thoughts of Angelina still in jeopardy. Refreshed by my meal and the animal proteins now coursing through my bloodstream. Downcast at the thought of returning to the warehouse and Igor’s imbecilic presence. Reluctant to go indoors on this warm and sunny day. A patio bar caught my eye just the thing. A few beers in the boozer would do me no harm.

  There was a newspaper vending machine by the entrance. Normally a rarity in our technology-driven galaxy. I tried to imagine someone too poor to have a computer with newsservice printouts and I could not. Yet they must exist here on Fetorr for I popped in a coin and held the irrefutable evidence in my hands.

  Flipped through it as I sipped my beer. More hysteria about my one-man crime wave, along with a completely fictionalized biography of the Stainless Steel Rat. They held me responsible for every major crime of the past forty years. In the inner pages I found the item “STRIKE IN SEVENTH DAY,” which showed that Gar Goyle was still hard at work. Puissanto as well: “TAX SCANDAL HITS PROMINENT BANKER.” Unhappily, they weren’t talking about Chaise.

  With banking on my mind I turned to the financial page.

  BANK DEPOSITS HIT NEW LOW FETORR CREDIT RATE SHAKEN MUNICIPAL BOND SALES SPURRED

  I yawned, very glad that James was the banker, not I. This sort of thing made very dull reading. I turned to the 3D crossword puzzle and dug out my stylo.

  Chapter 18

  It was almost like a day off-something I had not enjoyed since our disastrous picnic attempt, the day when Chaise had forced his obnoxious presence into our lives. I could not relax completely, not with my Angelina still in jeopardy. But I could make the attempt.

  I dallied as long as I could over the newspaper. Then threw it away and, most reluctantly, returned to the warehouse. I carried Kaia’s computer into my monastic cell, where I ran the virtual reality program a few more times to hone my skills in finding my way about the depository. Then I hooked through to the television function of the computer and found I could access over a thousand stations. A plethora of crap I quickly discovered. Who was it who said that there were a lot more garbagemen than college professors in this universe? It didn’t take a genius to figure out who most of the programs were made for. Igor’s peer group. Finally, by paying extra-Kaizi’s account could bear it-I found a historical channel. All about planetary settlements and the destruction of indigenous lifeforms. I watched it with enthusiastic participation since there were a few other life-forms I could name that could do with a little destruction.

  Chaise arrived late the next morning carrying a small suitcase. “There has been a change of plan.. .”

  “There certainly has. We don’t talk about that or anything else until I have seen your home video. Give.”

  He produced the memory card and I slipped it into the computer. The screen lit up and I smiled, relaxed, not realizing how uptight I had been.

  “Hello, Jim,” she said. “As you can see I am doing fine, as is Gloriana.” I heard the echo of a little grunt when her name was mentioned. “Though I think I am putting on weight without any exercise.”

  “You are gorgeous!” I shouted.

  “Here is the headline you wanted to see, about the successful crime of the century, as they call it. I will not congratulate you since I imagine all of the profit will go to the loathsome presence holding the camera. Turn that back on!” she added as the picture faded. She appeared again suddenly.

  “Sorry about that pause. But I had to convince a certain party that, in these days of technological wonders, the previous bit of this interview could have been electronically faked. What cannot be faked is a fact known only to you and me. So cast your mind back down the long light-years to the time when we first met. I always wore a locket around my neck. Do you remember what was in it?”

  How could I ever forget? A photograph I had only glimpsed for an instant as she destroyed it. Of her in what might be called an earlier existence. Not beautiful-not even pretty. It was easy to understand how her embittered early self could get involved in crime. To get the large sums needed for plastic surgery. Until this moment we had never talked about that picture again. Her mentioning it now was a message of some kind. Trapped in her cell I could easily imagine how she felt.

  “My photograph. Take care of yourself, darling.”

  Then she was gone. “Let’s get to work,” I said, sadly.

  “There has been a change in strategy, as I said. The bearer bonds have waited a long time in their vault. They can wait a bit longer. You will have a different assignment first-”

  “Wait just a moment. Where is this going to end? How many of these assignments are you going to send me on before we end our enforced relationship?”

  Chaise rubbed his jaw. “That’s a fair question. I must not let your morale lag by thinking that your work, and your wife’s captivity, will stretch out into the endless fixture. My business ventures will reach a satisfactory conclusion soon. If you follow my orders, I guarantee that the bearer-bond retrieval will be our last job together. You will be free to leave. In fact I very much want you off this planet.”

  “Alone?”

  “Of course not. You and your wife will leave on the spacer together.”

  I didn’t believe a word of what he was saying. But I had very few options open. I had to get on with it.

  “All right. What’s next?”

  “Atomic energy and the generation of electricity. It keeps our technological society running. What do you know about it?”

  “Nothing. Or rather the knowledge, or faith, that when I press a button the lights come on.”

  “Look at these.” He opened his bag and took out a set of blueprints and a map. “This is the atomic generator on Sikuzote Island. Here, you can see it on this map. It is just off the southern coast and separated from the mainland by the channel of the same name. You will go there-”

  “How?”

  “By maglev train. There is a direct service from the central station here. You will have a new identification to go with your new face. You will go as a tourist. The south coast is known for its pebble beaches, simple amusements. As well as the gambling casino in Swartzlegen. It is much favored by the workers on their holidays.”

  “Don’t they go north to the sunny joys of Sunkist-by-the-Sea?”

  “No. They are not welcome there.” Irony did not penetrate his sense of superiority. “Since it rains a good deal in the south the beaches are not much frequented. The indoor entertainments are much favored, as you can imagine. One of them is the guided tour of the atomic facility. Quite popular, and also free. You will go on that tour.”

  “Look, Chaise, can you give me some slight idea what this is all about? There is nothing to steal down there, is there?”

  He sat back and thought about that. “You are right. There is nothing financial about your role in this matter. I will take care of that. You will be involved in a simple bit of industrial sabotage.”

  “Like what? Blowing up-or melting down-the nuclear reactor?”

  “Yes. That is what I had in mind.”

  “No way!” I jumped to my feet and paced the room. “This is not down my alley. If I go anywhere near that place I’ll probably end up glowing in the dark.”

  He was not impressed. “Shut up. Sit down. Look at this.”

  This was the floor plan and elevations of the nuclear plant. Filled with highly unattractive labels like radioactive waste, coolant rod storage, reactor room.

  “What
you must do is interrupt the electrical supplies from this generator.”

  “For how long?”

  “Weeks at least. Preferably months. This nuclear generator supplies nearly a third of the electrical capacity of Fetorr. There will be financial repercussions.”

  I was beginning to see what he had in mind. “It’s money again, isn’t it Chaise? We are going through troublesome economic times here on good old Fetorr, if you can believe what you read in the news. Bank robberies, currency robberies, disruption among the working classes. And next-an electrical crisis. Why if someone knew this was going to happen he might snap up a lot of stock in nonnuclear electrical generation plants.

  Then that person might make an awful lot of money. Don’t you think?”

  “I think you are getting very out of line, diGriz. You stick to what you do best-and let me worry about finances and profits. So-how can you cut off the electrical supply?”

  “I haven’t the slightest idea.” I held the plans up to the light, but no inspired thoughts flowed. “Shutting down the nuclear reactor would certainly do the trick. But that has to be the last option. It would mean penetrating the plant, avoiding guards and alarms. And then what? I have no technical knowledge about this kind of thing.” I folded the plans. “I suggest that I get down there as a tourist and look things over. Then call you. I don’t know anything about buying the material that I will need when I am there. Can you send any supplies I require by truck?”

  “Too long, too slow. The levtrain has a most efficient freight service.” He thought about this a bit, then dug into his bag and took out a plastic cylinder.

  “What is it?”

  “Playtexx. Completely sealed so it can’t be detected.”

  He passed it over and I took it with some hesitation. It was the most concentrated and most powerful explosive known. I knew that it existed but I had never used it. Since I don’t usually go around blowing up things.

  “How stable is it?” I asked.

  “As inert as clay. Shoot it, light it, jump on it-and nothing will happen. This is the only thing that will set it off.” He passed over a timer disc with a sharp skewer projecting from it. “Set the timer. Push the spike through the plastic container. Then get out of there. Now-put everything into this bag, along with some clothes. You leave at once. I’ll expect a report by tomorrow in the very latest.”