The Stainless Steel Rat Joins the Circus ssr-11

by Harry Harrison

  “Take care of yourself,” he said. He looked worried.

  “I always do,” I said, putting more enthusiasm than I felt into my words. I was more than a little stressed out.

  He passed me the shielded bag and I shook out the bugs and put them into my pocket. He took back the bag and we waved good-by in silence. I made my way back to the warehouse and a bit of a rest.

  I thought. Igor looked at me when I came in, then turned away. Chaise glared at me and had other ideas. “I don’t like you wandering around the city alone.”

  “What harm can I get into?”

  “I don’t trust you, diGriz. You are too smooth.” He pointed to the parcels on the table. “Here are all the items you will need for tonight’s operation.”

  “Good.”

  He reached into his bag and took out his handgun. “I want you to sit very still while Igor puts the handcuffs on you.”

  There was absolutely nothing that I could do. The big thug came from behind me: the gun pointed unwaveringly. The cuffs clicked into place. And if this wasn’t bad enough he locked myankles together with another pair. Chaise put the gun away and smiled.

  “Get some sleep,” he ordered. “You have a big night ahead of you.”

  They both looked on as I struggled to my feet, then turned and hopped to my cot, fell heavily onto it. Struggled about until I was lying on my back. Looked down at the handcuffs and knew why Chaise had smiled. I couldn’t use a picklock on these. They had a combination lock inset so deeply that I couldn’t have turned it, even if I could have reached it by twisting my fingers around. I tried. It couldn’t be done.

  I was tired enough to sleep deeply despite the cramped position. I woke a bit when I heard voices, fell asleep again almost instantly. It wasn’t until I felt Igor’s hot breath on my cheeksmelled it as well-that I awoke fully. He was bent over and trying to work the combination lock. I opened my hands ready to throttle him, when I saw Chaise in the doorway, gun pointed.

  “Bring him in here where you can see better.”

  Igor grabbed me by the ankles and dragged me off the bed. I threw myself sideways so I landed on my shoulder instead of my head. He hauled me, bumping and cursing into the other room. Then sat on me while he opened both pairs of cuffs.

  “Is this the way you treat a loyal employee?” I said as I pushed myself up from the floor and sat down in the chair.

  “Igor will take you to the depository now,” he said. “I will be right behind you in my car. All of the way. I ‘will also be close by when you come out in the morning. If I have any suspicion at all that you have not done exactly what you described, you can be perfectly sure that you will never see your wife again.”

  I couldn’t trust myself to answer him. He took my silence as assent. He looked at his watch. “Time to go. Take your lunch box. All the equipment you will need is inside it, under that repulsive food.”

  The same drive to the same corner. The same walk to thefront door of the repository. The only difference was the black car that drove silently behind me, waited across the street from the entrance.

  I was happy to leave it behind. My contact lens stayed in place this time. My palm unlocked the door and I walked in.

  “Hey you. Iba, I’m talking to you.”

  “Bowb off,” I said sullenly, not looking at the speaker. What had gone wrong?

  “Come here. Got something for you.” I had to stop and look at him. At the newspaper he was holding out to me. “Some guy gave me this for you. Gave me five credits too, can you believe that? Nothing special, I looked at, just today’s paper. Almost threw it away.” He dropped it to the floor and walked off.

  Newspaper? Who? Certainly not Chaise. It could only have been James. But why?

  I could not look at it now. The inside guard was staring at me suspiciously as it was. “Bowb off,” I called after the retreating back. Scooped up the paper and hurried to my waiting charges.

  As they surged into pseudolife I opened the newspaper. Quickly looked through it. I didn’t have the time to read it now-no, wait. On the last page a tiny semicircle had been torn off the edge of the paper. Next to advertisement for a Doit-Yourself hernia repair kit. That couldn’t be it. I looked at the other side, at the small news item there.

  DROWNING SUICIDE IN CENTRAL PARK LAKE

  I felt suddenly very cold. Scanned the report quickly.

  Person unknown … ragged clothing … water in lungs … no identification.

  And then the last line.

  Disfiguring scar on face.

  There would no need to check the passenger lists now. Iba had missed his connection. He had known too much about Kaia’s business.

  So I knew exactly what was in store for me as well.

  Chapter 23

  For the first time I was glad that this job was so brainless. My thoughts trudged in endless circles looking for a way out, but not finding it. I could steal the bonds, that was the easiest part. But after I had committed the theft, I would then be handcuffed again. Locked up for two days before the supposed delivery to bring out the bonds. Yet the delivery would be a day earlier. Should I admit that? If I did I would be forced to get the bonds and bring them to him. After that I would quickly join Iba in the lake. Or worse.

  The robots chuntered along their appointed courses and I was barely aware of them. Only if one of them stalled in a feedback cycle did I remember what I was supposed to be doing and shock it back into action. Then I would sink back into the insolvable circle of my thoughts.

  Enough! I was driving myself slightly around the bend with my brain also locked an endless feedback cycle. It was time to do something. Time for the robbery. I turned off all the robots, except for the one I needed, to keep them from wandering. Then I manhandled the bins off the largest wheelbot and jolted it into following me. To the stationery supply room, where the door wasn’t even locked. Only the dim night-lights lit my way through this mausoleum of bureaucracy. Printed forms stacked almost to the ceiling, envelopes and reams of paper. We passed it all by and moved deeper into the cavernous room. There was dust on the floor here, dry and musty darkness. The very last access way just at the back wall was my goal. The air was dusty as well, the forms dry and brown-edged. They would burn fine. I loaded the robot high with them, stopping only to sneeze a few times. Finally done, and one last sneeze, and I was out of the paper room with my faithful robot grinding along after me. It then waited with metallic patience while I burgled the bond room.

  I shorted out the electronic door lock, then accessed the door frame alarms and neutralized them as well. Then came the only tricky part; sliding the infrared generator in front of the receiving lens without breaking the beam. Slowly forward, angled square on, only too aware of the sweat that was trickling down my face. There!

  And no alarms.

  After that it was just a lot of physical work that I had to do myself. I piled the paper forms in the center of the room, spreading them out so they would burn all the better. By the time I got around to loading the bearer bonds onto the wheelbot I was breathing hard. One last task. I grabbed up a handful of the bonds-worth over a million altogether-what a waste! And took them far down the hall away from any fire detectors. I lit them, one by one, with my lighter. Let them singe a bit before I put them out. When they were satisfactorily charred I went back and sprinkled them tastefully about the room. Then, the very last thing, I twisted the dial and set the thermite bomb. It would go off an hour after I left the building, a few minutes before the day workers arrived. They were going to have a far livelier time today than they expected.

  Then I stopped to take a break. Cooled down and rubbed my hands together to supple my fingers. Only then, and with infinite patience, did I trust myself to withdraw the infrared projector. Slowly, slowly-done! The rest was child’s play.

  Relocking the door and then restoring all the alarms to working order.

  One last trip back in the storeroom, where I carefully hid the bonds among the stationery. I slid some
ancient forms in front of them, then I was done. The bonds would be safe there until I came to retrieve them. Or, depressingly gloomy thought, they would remain concealed forever if I made any mistakes.

  The next hours dragged slowly by: I worked hard not to think about the thermite bomb. If the thing went off before it should? Don’t even think about thinking about it. Then the last ashtray and the last shredder. Down to their underground lair where my metallic aides were tucked away and sucking happily on their electrical teats. I washed the traces of soot off my hands. When the shift ended I left with the others.

  There was more than a little tension as I exited the building. If I had not set the thermite timer correctly-I would have to make a run for it. My stomach stayed in a knot until I was safely in the street outside. I walked slowly to the appointed corner. The van was not there.

  Was something wrong? Before my thoughts ran away with themselves Kaia’s black car pulled up beside me.

  “Get in,” he said.

  “Where’s Igor?”

  “That is no business of yours,” he said as we drove away. “Everything go as planned?”

  “Yes.”

  He smiled and licked his lips. Then drove with one hand as he pushed a notebook with a stylo attached over to me. “Write down all the details about the storeroom. Where the bonds are. The name of the stationery company and driver…”

  “I don’t think that I should do that.”

  “Don’t play games with me diGriz. And you know very well why are going to give me that information.”

  “I know. But my wife comes first. And your threats against her life. That is what I want to talk about. What happens to her after I bring you the bearer bonds?”

  “Why she joins you, of course.”

  Joins me. In the grave.

  “And what guarantees do I have that that is what will happen?”

  “My word, of course.”

  “Not good enough. You are too much of a liar, Chaise.”

  He gave me a quick, cold look, but did not respond.

  “Look-let us make a deal. I’ll get the bonds for you-if you release her first.”

  He was quiet as he drove. Then shook his head. “No, I can’t do that.”

  “Then I can’t give you the information that you will need if you attempt to get the bonds yourself.”

  Nothing more was said after that. The warehouse door opened as we approached, swung shut behind us. Igor and his truck were not there. Chaise got out first, opened the rear door of the car and reached inside.

  “Look at this,” he said.

  I looked-and desperately tried to leap aside. He was faster.

  The two metal prongs of the electric stunner slammed into my side. The high voltage washed pain through my body. My muscles spasmed uncontrollably as I fell to the floor.

  I was conscious but could not move. He dragged me through all the ancient filth and litter on the floor, then rolled me onto the cot. I still could not resist as he locked one pair of handcuffs on my wrists, then secured my leg to the metal bed frame with the other. The numbness was beginning to wear off as he dragged the bed with my limp body across the room and slammed it against the wall.

  He went into the other room and came back with another pair of cuffs. I saw what he had in mind and struggled to roll away, kick out, kick him. My free leg barely twitched as he pulled it out. Then cuffed my ankle to a metal pipe that ran along the wall. He was breathing hard, his face twisted with anger. The sophisticated multimillionaire had vanished; he punched me in the face again and again. Stopped only when he hurt his knuckles on my jaw.

  “No one goes against my will, no one.” He rubbed his hand over his bruised knuckles. “You, a common criminal, seek to dictate terms to me. I will have none of this.” The cruel smile was back, his heavy breathing slowed. The painful kick into my ribs was not done in anger, but was carefully calculated to drive his convincing argument home.

  “You are helpless. So I can do what I want with you. What I want to do now is to leave you here for a few days without food or water. I am sure that when I return you will be eager to tell me how I can obtain those bonds. If you talk, why then I might let you live.”

  This was the real Chaise, unmasked.

  “You will let me live just the way you let Iba live? In the lake in the park.”

  He was turning away when I shouted this after him. Turned back, his face livid. Why had I let my own anger carry me away? I realized that I had signed my own death certificate.

  “You are lying in your grave,” he said. Then he went out, slamming the door behind him. I heard the car start and the squeaking of the garage door as it opened. It closed again and I was alone.

  “Someday, Jim, you will have to learn to keep your big mouth shut,” I said aloud. This was sage advice. I wish I had given it to myself earlier. Now-how could I get myself out of this mess?

  Not easily, I realized, after a good deal of tugging and twisting and rasp of hard metal against soft skin. I could reach the cuffs on my legs and rotate the dials on their locks. But I was never going to find the combinations by random twisting. And the pipe along the wall was securely in place. I lay back, panting with the effort. With that, and the night’s stressful events, despite my perilous position, I fell sound asleep.

  Something woke me up. How long had I been asleep? It was still morning by the light in the window. My face hurt where it had been battered. As did my ribs. A sound outside the door, a thin scratching. Someone there. I shuffled about as best I could, saw the door handle. Saw it slowly turn.

  Chaise? Igor? Nothing good I was sure. At this instant I felt just about as low as I had ever felt. Or lower. The door slowly opened. A dark figure slipped through. I started to shout, thought better of it. Waited until he had finished the traditional bug search and sealed away his trophies in the radiation-proof bag. Then I let my breath out in a rush.

  “Bolivar! “

  “No, James. Bolivar is still checking the planning permission and building records.”

  “Get me out of here!”

  He pulled at the cuffs and shook his head. “Easier said than done.”

  “Are you driving?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tool kit. Pliers, hammer.”

  “You got it!”

  The pliers were wrecked cutting the cuffs that held me to the pipe. But the bed frame wasn’t that strong and Bolivar hammered it apart to free me. Helped me to my feet.

  “You don’t look so great, Dad,” he said. “What with the fake scar and the real bruising, handcuffs and all.” He shook his head unhappily.

  “Get me to the car and your first-aid kit. Then to a shop that sells cutting tools. I guarantee that I will feel better then.” I hobbled from the room, cuffs rattling and clattering. “And thanks for the sudden appearance.”

  “I thought it was about time. You never phoned when you said you would. I decided to stake this place out. And that big thug who was driving the truck should be getting to Sunkistby-the-Sea by now. I followed him until he drove onto the payway headed in that direction.”

  “And Chaise?”

  “He is probably still at his bank. His car is still parked in its slot there. I checked that out before I came back here. I figured that I could at least look in, find out what was going down.”

  “Everything…”

  His phone rang and he answered it. “On the way, both of us,” he said, and closed the phone. “James has the plans to the house. He wants us there as soon as possible.”

  “Is there a chopper rental in this town?”

  “Absolutely. Cutting tool first-then the sunny suburbs.”

  Bolivar stopped just along enough in front of Tools-R-Us to dive through the front door. He was back moments later with a molecular debinder. Threw it to me then jumped the car forward. I turned it on, pressed it against the cuffs. A thin plane of energy loosened the atomic bonds in the metal and a tiny shower of molecules ran down my arm. By the time we got to the copter fi
eld I was rubbing cream into the cuts and abrasions. I was about to throw the debinder into the back of the car with the remains of the cuffs. Then thought better of it and stuffed it into my pocket.

  An interstellar flying license, along with wads of cash and a credit card, worked wonders. I stayed inside the car until I saw the copter taxi out. Walked over quickly and jumped in.

  “Just talked to James,” he said as we shot into the air. “He says that Igor’s truck is outside the house. He wants to go inbut I told him to wait until we got there.”

  I nodded agreement. “Three are better than one. Is this thing going as fast as it can?”

  “Needle against the peg. I told him to find a place where we can set the copter down and to meet us there.”

  We were going fast, but I kept feeling that it wasn’t fast enough. My brain was whizzing as fast as the copter. Why had Igor gone to the house? If Angelina were there, she might very well be the reason for the trip. He wouldn’t harm her, not without Kaia’s orders. But what had been his orders? My thoughts sizzled in circles, my stomach grumbled and complained. My side hurt. I dug deeper into the first-aid kit from the car and discovered a flask of medicinal brandy.

  “Not me, I’m driving,” Bolivar said. “But you look like you need it.”

  “Looks don’t lie.” The ardent spirits hurt the cuts in my mouth, but did wonders when it hit my stomach. Was I getting too old for this kind of thing? I certainly felt that way. At this moment I was well aware that I was really getting very much around the bend.

  “We’re coming in over the grid reference now-and I see the field,” Bolivar said into the phone. “James, is that you waving? Great-I’m setting her down.”

  We ran to the car before the copter’s blades stopped turning. James gave my face and all the bandages one long stare, but said nothing. We dived in and the wheels spun.

  “Bring us up to speed,” I said.

  “The truck you told me about is beside the building. As far as I know Igor is alone in the house-along with the robot of course. The plans of the building are on the seat next to you.”