“Fuck,” Donny and Joel both said at the same time.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Donny blurted out, unzipping his hoodie to reveal a crisp white t-shirt underneath. He stepped into the hallway, dropped the hoodie to the floor, and then removed his baggy jeans to reveal a much more form-fitting pair of plaid skinny cut pants underneath. Donny quickly closed the door, leaving his pile of outerwear in the hallway.
Gabriel barked out a laugh.
“Athena made me bring non-cat clothes. She said you’re allergic.” Donny shrugged, his eyes darting between Joel and Gabriel.
Joel walked into the kitchen, pushing past Gabriel, and realigning his zucchini. Gabriel handed him a knife.
“Athena, Donny, can I get you anything to drink?” Gabriel asked, giving Joel's hand a squeeze before he stepped away.
“I would love a Shirley Temple, handsome stranger. Do you have any grenadine in this well-stocked bar of yours?” Athena had wandered over to the wet bar and was dragging her fingers across the top of Gabriel's whiskey bottles.
“I can manage you a Shirley Temple, but only if you stop calling me handsome stranger.” He winked at her, then turned his stare to Donny.
Donny shook off his stare and blinked. “Water is fine.”
“You’re a quiet little thing, aren’t you?” Gabriel gestured his head in Donny’s direction while he poured Athena her drink.
Donny smirked. “Not so much, no. I’m just trying to figure you out.”
“I think Joel could use some help with the zucchini, if you want something to do, Donny. I need to speak with Gabriel alone.” Athena locked her stare onto her younger brother as he accepted a glass of water from Gabriel. He nodded again and disappeared into the kitchen.
Athena crossed the dining area and headed into the family room. She plopped her weight down onto one of Gabriel's couches and patted the cushion next to her.
“Make yourself at home, Athena,” Gabriel chuckled.
“Oh, I will.” She eyed him, speculating, and raised an eyebrow before swallowing some of her pink drink. “That's what you had Joel do, isn't it?”
Ah, Gabriel thought. Here it comes. This was one of the things he’d managed to avoid his entire life. The obligatory “best friend wants to know your intentions” talk. Gabriel had never had any intentions, beyond making Joel his. He chewed his lower lip into his mouth, hoping this wouldn't be the moment when his lies started to unravel.
Gabriel sat. “Yes, I did tell him that. And he has.”
Silence.
Was she using his own trick against him? He wasn’t going to fall for it. He wasn’t going to talk himself into a hole with Joel's best friend.
More silence.
Athena smiled at him, sipping her drink.
Silence.
Silence.
“I like having him here. He’s meant to be here.”
Fuck! Shut up, Gabriel.
Silence.
“I mean, right now, it feels like this is where he’s meant to be. With me.”
Athena took another drink.
She finally spoke. “Do you know about his family?”
More than you would believe, Athena, more than you would fucking believe.
“He’s told me some things,” Gabriel hedged.
“His dad died when he was little–still in elementary school. His mom remarried an awful shit-bag named Thomas. I mean, from what I’ve heard, they’re both real pieces of work, but Thomas was far worse than Joel's mom. As soon as this Thomas guy started to suspect Joel was gay, he did… Well, he did and said some horrible things.”
Did?
“It’s not my place to say. If he hasn’t told you.”
Gabriel hadn't meant to speak his thoughts out loud. His face paled, and his eyes emptied of every emotion except rage. Gabriel would fucking murder his brother if he had physically hurt Joel. He pressed his hand against his breastbone, trying to rub away the pain.
“He’s told me some things,” Gabriel repeated in a mutter, trying to find the truth of Athena’s half-confession in her eyes, but she was locked up tighter than Fort Knox.
“Don’t you fucking hurt him, Gabriel.” Athena stared at him and took another sip of her drink before she continued, “He’s my best friend, and he’s the most pure and kind-hearted person I’ve ever fucking known. He’s locked up tight because of all the shit he's been through. He's never dated anyone seriously and he doesn’t have any other friends besides me. He doesn’t let people in, Gabriel. He doesn’t let them close. And I watched the way you touch him, and how he lets you. The way he leans his weight toward you when you come into the room. I’ve seen all this, and I'm fucking ecstatic for him, but you worry me, handsome stranger, because you are too good to be true. So let me put my cards on the table: I want Joel to be happy no matter what, and if it means you fucking him until he can't walk straight, then I am all for it. But Gabriel, I swear to God I will fucking come for you if you break Joel's heart or hurt him in any way he doesn't ask to be hurt. Do you understand me?”
Athena leaned forward and set her empty glass on the coffee table.
Gabriel stared at her, nodding his head. “I...” he stopped, snapping his mouth closed. The words were there, but they shouldn’t touch her ears before Joel's.
“I know, handsome stranger. I can see it in your face.” Athena offered him a slight smile, patted his knee, and stood up. She swept her hair up into a messy bun and smiled wider. “As long as we understand each other, then?”
Gabriel nodded. Athena nodded back.
“Good.” She stepped out of the living room and Gabriel heard her speak again.
“Baby J, what's for dinner? This better be organic with all the money your handsome stranger has. He’s treating you well, right?”
Gabriel was frozen on the couch, shocked that he’d almost verbalized his feelings, and utterly relieved that he hadn’t needed to lie to her. Athena looked over her shoulder and locked eyes with him.
“You buy organic, Gabriel?”
He nodded.
“You were eating a fucking mystery meat hot dog the night I met you, Theenie. Fucking relax.” Joel's teasing voice broke Gabriel from his trance and he shook his head, standing up to collect Athena's empty glass from the table.
“It’s organic,” Gabriel confirmed, sitting down at the head of the table so he could see into the kitchen. “I’ll always do whatever is best for Joel. Letting him stay here, buying organic, whatever he needs, he’ll have.”
Joel's head snapped around, knife frozen mid-slice. His eyes searched out Gabriel's, who suddenly couldn’t meet his stare. He finally looked up, forcing a smile. Joel returned it, sincerely, wide and… so full of hope and trust. The guilt of withholding these secrets was going to eat Gabriel alive.
***
“Bye, Athena. Bye, Donny!” Joel closed the front door then padded back into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Gabriel's waist as he did dishes at the sink.
“Thank you,” he murmured against Gabriel's back, resting his cheek against Gabriel's spine.
“You don’t need to thank me. I should thank you for sharing your life with me like this.” Gabriel turned off the water, then swiveled so he could wrap his arms around Joel. He kissed the top of Joel's head.
“Gabriel, can we talk?” Joel stepped back, putting distance between them.
Gabriel froze. Fuck, was this it? What had Athena said to him? Gabriel did his best to maintain a casual look on his face. He nodded as Joel tugged him over to the couch in the living area. They both sat and Joel turned to face Gabriel with as serious a face as Gabriel had ever seen on him. Joel radiated tension. Gabriel could see it in the way Joel sat and the way he hunched his shoulders. The poor kid was a live wire about to go off.
“Gabriel, I hate to do this, but could I maybe borrow some money for a new phone?” Joel blurted and Gabriel relaxed as he barked out a laugh.
“Money? You only want money?” His laugh continued, sounding relieved and light. �
�You can have all my money if you ask, Joel. Of course I’ll give you enough for a new phone.” Gabriel leaned his head back against the cushions, pulling Joel with him.
“I don’t want to take it from you, I want a loan,” Joel clarified, allowing himself to settle against Gabriel's chest. “I’ll pay you back. I need a working phone in case my landlord tries to get in touch with me about when I can move back in. And I need to go over and get some more clothes and stuff, so I need to make sure it's okay.”
You can stay here.
You don’t need to go back there.
Your favorite shirt is hanging up in the closet.
Just be with me.
“Anything you need, Joel.”
“I can’t thank you enough, Gabriel. For everything. It’s more than the money, and letting me stay here open-ended, the way you have. I feel, I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like I can be myself around you. I feel light. That’s stupid. I’m stupid.” Joel went quiet and tried to bury his head into Gabriel's armpit, but Gabriel pulled him free and arranged him so he could see Joel's eyes.
God, Joel had amazing eyes. They were blue. So blue. Not ocean blue, and not glacier blue. Not the blue after a storm. Just blue. Perfectly blue. And that mop of dyed red hair on top of his head made his skin look white as snow.
“You’re not stupid. You’re fucking beautiful.” Gabriel was honest with his words, and Joel sucked in a breath. “I love that you can be this way with me. That you want to be this way with me. I want it for you, and selfishly, I want it for me, too.” Gabriel pressed his lips to Joel's forehead.
They sat on the couch, unmoving except for their breathing. Gabriel rested his head on Joel's shoulder, inhaling his smell.
“Gabriel, I…” Joel stopped, searching for the words, and Gabriel looked at him. “I haven’t done this before. I’ve been alone.”
Because of me.
“I haven’t really dated anyone.”
Because of me.
“I’ve never felt like anyone cared about me, until you. But now I don’t want to be alone anymore. Because of you.”
Because of me.
Because of me.
The words rattled around in Gabriel's mind. He didn’t feel like he deserved the praise. He’d spent so long waiting for this moment and it didn’t taste as sweet as he’d imagined it would. He didn’t want Joel here because he had to be. He wanted Joel here because he wanted to be in Gabriel’s home, and arms, and bed. He opened his mouth to confess, but was stopped by Joel’s warm lips pressing against his.
It was a delicate kiss. It tasted like trust and home.
Gabriel forced his lies into the back of his mind and held Joel's face in his hands, returning the kiss with as much conviction as he could muster.
“Gabriel, take me to bed,” Joel whispered into his open mouth.
“Anything you want, Little Red. Anything you want.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Gabriel Gets the Shock of a Lifetime
Gabriel snatched Joel's mouth in another kiss, clacking their teeth together as he walked them blindly down the hallway toward the bedroom. Gabriel picked Joel up, and pressed him into the wall beside the door, grinding his cock up against Joel’s as he fumbled the door open. Once inside the bedroom, Joel obediently released his legs and slid down Gabriel's torso to stand at the foot of the bed. Gabriel wrapped his fingers around Joel's shoulders, dragging his fingers down Joel's arms to his hands.
Joel pressed a kiss to Gabriel's shoulder.
“Let me be yours.”
Gabriel pushed Joel backward onto the bed, grasped the legs of his red jeans, and tugged them off. Pressing one knee down into the bed, he took Joel's bare foot in his hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed each of his toes, then slid his tongue down and around Joel's delicate arch. Joel's entire body shuddered beneath him and Gabriel kissed a path to Joel's knee, sucking at the skin, only stopping when the bloom of a bruise started to form.
Joel thrust his hips into the air, his cock seeking out any sort of friction, only to be met with the weight of Gabriel's hand, pushing him back flat against the bed.
“I take care of what’s mine, Joel,” Gabriel rasped, nipping the bruised skin between his teeth. Joel nodded, removing his shirt before closing his eyes and fisting the sheets between his fingers.
Gabriel continued to kiss his way up Joel's body, dragging his nose up along the ridges of Joel's ribcage, inhaling every scent, before nuzzling his face into Joel's armpit. He inhaled the smell of Joel's soap and the slight tinge of aroused sweat there, before sliding his nose to the dip of Joel's clavicle, biting his teeth down gently against the bone.
“I like it here. With you,” Joel breathed out and his body tensed, as if he hadn't meant to let the words escape.
“I like you here. It’s better. I can see you, and smell you, and kiss you anytime I like.” Gabriel pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot beneath Joel's ear before exhaling a breath against the tender flesh. Joel thrust himself up again, this time finding Gabriel's cock with his own. Joel thrust himself up again, eager for the contact, and Gabriel pulled back.
“Stop. Let me,” Gabriel chastised him quietly, finally leaning back to pull his own shirt over his head. Joel's fingers reached forward, grasping for Gabriel's hips to pull him back down.
“I want you so bad, Gabriel. I feel like I’ll die if you’re not inside of me soon,” Joel whimpered, and Gabriel recognized the truth of his feelings flame in Joel's eyes.
“I know, Little Red. But I want your first time to be special.” Gabriel managed to kick his pants off, settling back in between Joel's spread legs.
“Our first time,” Joel moaned into Gabriel's neck, straining to nip at his ear.
“Ours?” Gabriel pulled back slightly, searching Joel's eyes without letting all of his confusion show. He had been aware of Joel for years. Joel had been barely sixteen the day Gabriel first saw him, and Gabriel was certain Joel hadn’t been with anyone since then. At least, he’d been as certain as he could be. At first, he merely did his best to keep tabs on Joel, it wasn’t until Joel turned eighteen and moved into the apartment that Gabriel had become more actively involved with things.
“Ours.” Joel pressed a kiss to the corner of Gabriel's mouth. “You don’t have to worry, I’m not a virgin.”
Gabriel froze.
What the fuck?
He ran back through the last three years in his head, everything mentally organized. There had been men, or boys rather, who Joel had gone on dates with in the past year, and an even larger number of men who he had tried to go on dates with. Gabriel put a stop to most of those before they even got started. None of those men were even close to being good enough for Joel. It became harder to manage Joel's relationships, especially after he met Athena. Her sole purpose in life seemed to have been getting Joel laid, which hadn't sat well with Gabriel. Protecting Joel from unwanted advances had become a time-consuming endeavor, but Gabriel made time and found ways. It was important for Joel to not waste his time with people who wouldn't truly appreciate him and everything he had to offer. Joel was a gift, in every sense of the word, and he deserved the very best.
His virginity should have been the ultimate gift. A sacred fucking offering. Gabriel had spent so much time orchestrating a scenario where that offering would be made to him, and him alone. Knowing now there was a first of Joel's that would not be his made him feel like his stomach was going to turn itself inside out.
“Yeah, I was fifteen. It wasn’t a big deal.”
Fifteen? Fuck.
Gabriel sat down on the bed, resting his hands on Joel's thighs, and stared at Joel's erect cock, even while his own erection flagged.
“Gabriel.” Joel sat up, leaned in, and kissed Gabriel's jaw. “It didn’t mean much. Are you…are you jealous?” Joel nipped Gabriel's skin between his teeth and tugged, eliciting an involuntary gasp out of Gabriel's mouth.
Gabriel pulled back far enough away from Joel to search his eyes for th
e truth. He held Joel's face between his hands, traced his cheekbones under his thumbs, and his lips parted as Joel's face softened and his eyes brightened.
“Gabriel.” Joel leaned into his touch, closing his eyes in a long blink before opening them again to reveal a blue so crisp and clear, Gabriel was sure his body would crumble at the sheer perfection of it. “Gabriel,” Joel repeated, looking right into Gabriel’s eyes. “This is gonna sound crazy, but I know it should have been you, Gabriel. I wish it had been you.” He didn't have a chance to say any more, because Gabriel was on him then, teeth clashing together as they both fell back, their bodies tangled, onto the sheets.
It was enough for Gabriel. It was what he needed. It was his gift.
Gabriel pushed both of their bodies up the bed until he could reach into the drawer of his nightstand, digging out a bottle of lube and a condom. He pulled back from Joel only long enough to tear open the condom wrapper, returning their mouths to each other as he blindly slid the condom down his straining shaft and popped the lube open to slick himself.
He snaked his hand down to Joel's crease, teasing him with slippery fingers. He pushed one finger inside of Joel up to the knuckle with a smooth motion, eliciting a gasp. Gabriel dropped his head to Joel's shoulder.
“You are so fucking tight, Joel, Jesus.” Gabriel could feel every muscle in Joel's hot channel constricting around his finger and he had to fight to push another one inside. Joel ground himself down onto Gabriel's hand, fucking himself on Gabriel's fingers.
“I want it so bad, Gabriel. Please. I want you. Please, Gabriel. Take it from me. Please, please, please.” Joel was mindless with his begging, thrashing his head from side to side on the pillow as he squeezed the base of his own cock to try and lessen the intensity of everything he was feeling.
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