“Let me get you ready,” Gabriel whispered to him, sliding his fingers in and out in a slow and steady rhythm.
“I am ready. For you, I’m ready. Please, Gabriel.” Joel's eyes snapped open as Gabriel withdrew his hand and lined the head of his cock up to Joel's tight, almost virginal hole.
Gabriel took a steadying breath and pushed himself forward, breaching the first ring of muscle with less resistance than he expected. He slowed his momentum, and Joel let loose a long and low moan.
“I told you, Gabriel, I’m ready. Please. More.” Joel arched his hips, trying to force Gabriel's cock inside of him.
“Say it again.” Gabriel forced the words out on a harsh breath.
“Please, Gabriel.”
Gabriel pushed until he was fully seated inside of Joel, relishing the feel of Joel's ass against the front of his thighs.
Joel gasped, “Gabriel, I didn’t know. It wasn’t…” He fell silent as Gabriel started to move inside of him, long and slow strokes designed so Gabriel could enjoy the feeling of being held so intimately by this part of Joel's body.
“Didn’t what, Little Red?” Gabriel prompted, increasing the speed of his thrusts.
“I didn’t. It wasn’t. It wasn’t. It wasn’t anything like this, Gabriel. Holy shit.” Joel dug his fingers into Gabriel's back, accidentally breaking the skin as he raked them down his spine. Gabriel didn't mind. He'd wear any mark Joel gave him with pride.
Gabriel pulled out of Joel, unsure if he could last much longer. It was all too much for him. All his dreams come true, with Joel so ready and so willing. To hear him beg for it the way he did was more than Gabriel could have ever imagined.
“I want you to ride me, Joel. I want you to take what you want from me. That’s how it should always be between us.” Gabriel kissed Joel, pulling him up and switching their positions. “I’ll always give you anything you need.”
Joel arranged himself over Gabriel's thighs, grasping Gabriel's cock firmly before sliding it back inside his ass.
“Fuck,” Joel moaned, lowering himself all the way down before rising back up, searching for a rhythm. He braced one hand behind him on Gabriel's thigh, and brought the other to his own aching cock, giving it one stroke to release the tension building inside of him.
Gabriel swatted his hand away.
“I said I’ll always give you what you need.” Gabriel wrapped his fingers around Joel's shaft and started to jerk him in time with Joel's own thrusting.
Gabriel’s balls pulled up tight as Joel fucked him in earnest now, comfortable with the intrusion of Gabriel’s cock. He started to stroke Joel quicker, twisting at the head and smearing Joel's pre-cum with his thumb.
“Fuck, Gabriel. Please. I… Oh, fuck!” Joel shouted, spurts of cum releasing from his cock, coating Gabriel's chest. Gabriel kept stroking him until Joel started to shudder with aftershocks, and he grasped him firmly by the waist and fucked up into him with a dedication and force that even surprised himself.
Joel's head lolled forward before he righted it, seeking Gabriel's eyes. His Little Red burned, and he burned only for him. Joel scooped his cum off Gabriel's chest and held his fingers tentatively over Gabriel's mouth. Gabriel leaned his head up, sucking Joel's fingers into his mouth, relishing the flavor of Joel's release. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back down to the pillow.
“Gabriel. I need it,” Joel begged him in a lust-soaked haze, rubbing his cum-covered fingers across his own lips now.
Gabriel thrust one last time into Joel, as deep inside as he could manage, shouting out a release that was so long overdue. He rutted into Joel as cum poured from his cock, filling the condom. Joel moaned and leaned down to take Gabriel's lips in a satisfied kiss.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Joel Has a Bad Day
Joel woke slowly, blinking as the sun poured in through the blinds in Gabriel's room. There was a pressure on his stomach, and he looked down to see Gabriel's arm thrown across his belly. He traced his fingers over the hair on Gabriel's forearm, eliciting a grumble from the other man, then a groan, as Gabriel pulled Joel's body closer.
“More, Little Red? Didn’t you come enough last night?” Gabriel rasped, voice hoarse with sleep as he kissed the back of Joel's neck.
Joel shifted, aligning himself more evenly with Gabriel, until another barely restrained groan left Gabriel's lips.
“I need to go to work,” Joel complained, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. “And then when I’m off work, I need to go see about getting a replacement phone, and I should go by my apartment to get some more clothes.”
Gabriel nuzzled his way back against Joel's side. “When are you off? Can I take you somewhere after?”
A smile snuck across Joel's lips. “Like a date?”
Gabriel nodded against him. “Like a date.”
Joel turned slightly and kissed Gabriel on the forehead.
“I’d like that. I’m off work at three today.” He kissed Gabriel's eyelids.
“Then I’ll see you at three.” Joel kissed Gabriel's mouth, licking along his lips, tasting whiskey and sweat from last night underneath the hint of sleep. Joel moaned into the kiss.
Gabriel was unexpected, and Joel was slightly overwhelmed with the way his heart tried to escape from his chest when Gabriel looked at him. Gabriel looked at Joel like he truly saw him. Behind the dyed hair, beyond the wrinkled thrift store clothes, as though he saw who Joel could be if he tried.
Joel had never realized he wanted someone to look at him the way Gabriel did. And instead of trying to rebuild the walls that had crumbled around his heart, he wanted to allow himself some time to enjoy this feeling of being wanted and desired as strongly as Gabriel desired him. He knew it wasn't safe or smart to let himself succumb to everything that was Gabriel. It felt too good to be true, and Joel knew that meant it was.
***
Sitting in the passenger seat of Gabriel's car, Joel powered on his new phone. Almost immediately, pings and dings and alerts began to sound off. Joel cast a sideways glance at Gabriel as he started to thumb through the notifications.
“I thought you didn't have any friends.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow as he pulled out into traffic.
“I don't. They're all from Athena. And my landlord, and Athena, Athena, Athena, oh, fuck.” Joel bounced his head back against the cushioned headrest. “And Davis.”
Gabriel's jaw tensed. “Davis?”
“Yeah, he's a guy I met at work. We were supposed to go out the night my apartment flooded. That whole night was such a disaster. I didn't even tell you, I almost got carjacked!”
Gabriel's face barely showed any signs of recognizing Joel had dropped such shocking news on him.
“You should be more careful. Don't sit around in your car talking to yourself in a shitty part of Hollywood.” Gabriel's voice was tight.
“How do you know that's what I was doing and where I was?” Joel dropped the phone onto his lap and shifted to look at Gabriel.
“I assumed. You live in a shitty part of Hollywood, so it makes sense you were in your car in a shitty part of Hollywood.” Gabriel's knuckles tightened around the steering wheel with such force, the leather creaked.
“No, I live in Echo Park, but whatever. Why are you being so rude all of a sudden?”
“You could have been seriously hurt, Joel! What if someone wasn't...” Gabriel snapped his jaw shut.
“Wasn't what?”
Gabriel remained quiet, and Joel watched him try to bring his breathing under control. “What if someone wasn't as unprepared as your assailant? What if you were hurt?” His hand shot off the steering wheel and grasped Joel's knee in a firm, and protective grip. Joel placed his hand on top of Gabriel's, weaving their fingers together.
“I'll be more careful in the future,” Joel promised and after some time, Gabriel's entire body unwound itself.
They sat in silence, Joel tinkering with his phone with his free hand.
“Where are we going?” Joel
finally spoke up. The silence between them was palpable, rather than companionable, and Joel hated it. He liked it when Gabriel smiled. He liked when Gabriel made him smile.
“You said you wanted to get some things from your apartment, so we’re going to your apartment.” Gabriel was short in his reply and changed lanes as they approached a stoplight.
“Oh, you’re going to want to turn right at this light,” Joel said, then noticed the car’s right-hand turn signal was already on.
Oh.
Gabriel forced a smile across the console at Joel before facing the road again. He turned right, and glanced at Joel out of the corner of his eye. Joel scowled down at his phone, pulled his hand free, and started furiously typing out a text, deleting the text, and typing it out again.
Davis: Joel? What happened to you last week?
Me: Sorry!! It’s insane! Someone tried to carjack me behind the restaurant, and I got super shaken up so I went home, and my phone wasn’t working so I couldn’t call. When I got home, my apartment flooded so I took off. I’ve been staying with someone.
Someone? Was that fair? Was Gabriel really just someone? He’d started off as a stranger, but he’d quickly burrowed a way into Joel's heart, and Joel hoped he was more than a friend who wanted to fuck. Did casual friends buy each other vintage Rolexes? It wasn’t fair to Gabriel to act as though there was nothing between them, but they’d never talked about their relationship, or lack thereof. Joel didn’t even know what the thing between them was anyway. Sure, words had been said in the heat of the moment, but they hadn’t had any conversations outside of the bedroom about it. Joel was afraid if he vocalized his feelings, asked his questions, the whole thing with him and Gabriel would fall apart.
“Problem?” Gabriel asked casually, snapping Joel out of his thoughts.
“Yes. No. Just Davis,” Joel grumbled, scrolling through a long message, shelving his internal confusion about the man beside him. Gabriel's shoulders stiffened. He flipped on the turn signal indicator and made a left turn.
“Yeah, turn left,” Joel added, barely looking up from his phone.
Davis: Maybe we got off on the wrong foot. If you didn’t want to see me that night, you didn’t need to come up with something as fantastical as a carjacking and an apartment flood. I wouldn't mind giving it another shot, though.
“What about Davis, now?” Gabriel ground out, turning the radio off and tapping a finger against the steering wheel.
“He’s acting all butt hurt that I haven’t been in touch with him since we were supposed to go on our date, even though I told him my phone wasn’t working. But then he says he wants to take me out again, and it’s confusing.”
“Confusing. Well, isn’t it a little presumptuous of Davis to assume you’d still want to see him?” Gabriel asked, pulling up to a stop sign and making a right-hand turn.
“It’s the apartment on the right,” Joel spoke up as Gabriel pulled to a stop. “How did you know how to get here?” he asked.
“You told me where to turn.” Gabriel unbuckled his seat belt and turned to face him. “Isn’t it presumptuous of him, Joel?”
Joel, frustrated with his own confusion over Davis and Gabriel, unbuckled his seat belt with more aggression than he meant to, and it unspooled, slamming into the side of the door as the belt retracted.
“Is it presumptuous, Gabriel? Is there something going on that would make it so unreasonable for me to go on a date with him? I mean, what is this anyway?” Joel gestured to the space between the two of them.
Shit. He didn’t mean to say that. He wasn't ready to face the truth.
Gabriel's face pulled into a frown and wrinkled in a way Joel hadn’t seen before. Joel didn’t like it. It looked too much like disappointment and Joel didn’t want to see it ever again. Joel told his brain as much.
“Maybe I was the one being presumptuous,” Gabriel spoke softly, turning his body to face the steering wheel. “You go do what you need to do, Joel. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Joel stared at Gabriel, feeling there may have been more than one meaning to those words, and got out of the car. He looked over his shoulder and observed Gabriel still staring blankly out the windshield.
Joel went upstairs, rubbing the band of his watch as he climbed, seeing his floor was well under construction from the flood repairs. Thankfully, it looked like everything had dried out, but as he let himself inside his apartment, there were pieces of drywall missing still, and the carpet had been pulled up, leaving the subfloor exposed, with parts of it cut out and replaced with new wood. He tiptoed around the holes in the floor, making his way to his bedroom. He could see his landlord had come in and tossed what looked like three boxes worth of Joel's belongings onto the bed, trying to salvage what he could from the flood waters. Joel would have a hell of a time assessing the damage to his belongings once he was allowed back inside for the long term.
Joel sat down on the edge of his bed, and did a quick sort through his things. He still had no idea where his favorite t-shirt was, and he hoped he hadn’t left it behind at the laundromat. He stuck his hand into the pile, and his fingers skirted something thick and soggy. He pulled the item free and sucked in a breath.
Fuck. Not this. Anything but this.
He cradled his favorite Bible in his hands, pulling the cover open to reveal the parchment pages inside were stuck together with moisture. He tried to separate them, accidentally tearing a corner free. He sobbed and slammed it closed. Maybe if he kept it somewhere safe and let it dry out, it would be okay. The pages would be a little wrinkled, but it would be in one piece. With a trembling hand, he reached over and set it on his dresser, stroking a finger over the delicate leather binding, now sodden with water that was sure to grow mold.
And then, much like his Bible, Joel fell apart.
There, in his under construction apartment, with everything he owned piled on top of his bed, and his most prized possession now a waterlogged disaster, he sobbed. Joel let loose every emotion he’d bottled up during the past year and let himself drown in the overwhelming loneliness that he had allowed to overtake his life. Joel lay down on his bed, and pulled the pile of his belongings on top of him, trying to shield himself from his own mind. Gabriel had been unexpected, yet needed, and most likely fleeting. Joel wasn’t ready to live in the aftermath of a man like him.
Who did Gabriel think he was, anyway? He swooped in out of nowhere and played the knight in shining armor and stirred up all these feelings inside Joel's chest and for what? What was Gabriel getting out of this? There must be something. People didn't do nice things for other people. Especially not for Joel. As soon as his apartment was finished, Gabriel would send him on his way, and what would Joel have then? A fucking embarrassing memory. That's what. Gabriel took Joel in and Joel let his world shape around Gabriel's kindness, but Joel would only lose it all when Gabriel pushed him back on his own. Stupid Joel.
Joel’s old defense mechanisms slipped into place. The voice in his head spoke up, loud and clear for the first time in weeks.
If you don’t let him in, you won’t let him down.
Won’t it be better to remember him as a gallant savior than a neglectful king?
Here’s some bricks, Joel. You need to put this wall back up before you can't turn back.
Joel took a deep breath and curled his body into the smallest ball he could, and cried. He cried for all the disappointments he’d experienced, and cried over the future he would no longer allow himself to hope for.
He must have fallen asleep, because he woke as someone wrapped strong and safe arms around him and picked him up from his bed. He recognized Gabriel’s smell, and he fought the desire to bury his face into the man's chest and wrap himself in the safety of his embrace.
“Put me down, Gabriel,” he slurred out, throat sore from sleep and crying.
“Shh, Little Red, I’ve got you now,” Gabriel murmured into Joel’s ear, carrying him out of the apartment.
Joel wasn’t sure he w
anted Gabriel to have him, but he was too tired to fight. He complained into Gabriel's chest, “I can't do this. We need to talk,” before falling back into a fitful sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Gabriel Gets Caught
Tucking Joel into bed, Gabriel grabbed both their cell phones and silently walked into the living room. He poured himself a glass of wine before sitting down on his couch and dropping the phones beside him. He picked up Joel’s first, relieved to find he hadn’t added a security passcode to it yet. This shit with Davis had to end immediately. Gabriel tapped out a text to Davis that he hoped sounded appropriately conciliatory.
After it was sent and registered as being read, Gabriel deleted it, setting the phone aside.
He hated to see Joel this upset, and had no idea what had happened in the apartment to set him off in such a fit, and most especially he had no idea why Joel had tried to push him away. It left Gabriel feeling unsettled, and not having any answers was making Gabriel feel like his skin would peel off, leaving him raw and exposed and vulnerable. It was unacceptable.
He wanted the future he could clearly see laid out before him. Joel was there. Of course Joel was there. Gabriel mentally backtracked, trying to figure out how he had fallen so hard for the red-haired boy asleep in his bed.
The first Christmas card had come from Madeline when Joel was twelve. Nearly seven years ago. Gabriel hadn’t paid any mind to it. He’d had no interest in meeting his brother’s family, and even less interest in sending them money.
A card came every Christmas, and when he looked back on them now, he could see Joel growing more despondent in every forced family picture. He hadn’t paid attention then. Madeline's demands grew more and more aggressive, her hatred toward her son more and more volatile. It wasn’t until year four, after Gabriel had met his own Thomas at the bar, that he’d decided to try and seek out his brother and his family. Gabriel had no intention of giving Madeline money, he only wanted to see them. In retrospect, he wasn’t sure what end result he expected. But seeing Joel in the flesh set him off in ways he hadn’t anticipated.
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