Carr, Cassandra - Head Games [Buffalo Intimidators] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Cassandra Carr

  “Don’t let him get to you, honey.”

  “What if he prints something? Even if he doesn’t come right out and say it, the inference will be right there on the page in black and white for everyone to draw their own conclusions from.” Rising, she began to pace the room. “I need some time, Leo. This thing could blow up in my face so fast my head would spin.”

  “He’s just—”

  “I know exactly what he is. He’s a little weasel, but unfortunately one who has an audience. And it’s not like anything he would say wouldn’t be true.”

  “Now wait a minute, Kel. First of all, nothing’s wrong with my game. Second, if there was, you wouldn’t be the cause of it. And third, don’t let someone like him dictate your life to you.”

  “I don’t have any other choice,” Kelly replied, sighing. “I can’t afford any negative publicity for my business, and if being with you brings that kind of attention to Kelly’s, I can’t in good conscience continue our relationship.”

  “Please, Kelly, don’t do this.” Leo’s voice sounded needy and unsure, so unlike his normal, rich baritone, and her heart ached at what she was doing to him. What she was doing to them. But her restaurant had to be the most important thing in her life. It was her dream, her livelihood. She couldn’t just throw it all away for a few rolls in the hay with Scott and Leo.

  “I’m sorry. Listen, I have to go.” She dropped the phone back in her pocket and swiped at the tears starting to run down her face. “Dammit!”

  * * * *

  Leo stared at the phone after Kelly hung up. “What the fuck just happened?”

  “What?” Scott walked into the kitchen and leaned against the island.

  Leo looked up at his friend. He still couldn’t believe it. “That dick Roger called her.”

  “And?”

  “And now she’s freaking out.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She ended everything.” Leo slammed his hand on the table and saw Scott jump a little.

  “Shit.”

  “My thought exactly.” Leo pinched the bridge of his nose. His whole world was falling down around him.

  Scott stumbled to the kitchen table and sat down heavily. “Well, I guess we don’t have much of a choice but to leave her alone since we’re going to be on the road for the next four days.”

  “Yeah, I guess so. I still don’t like it.” He jumped up and started pacing. “What if we go away and she sits around stewing? That’s only going to make things worse.”

  Scott regarded him from his place at the table, his face drawn into hard lines. “There’s not much we can do about it. It’s not like we can stay home and beg her to take us back.”

  Leo uttered a curse under his breath and then threw his hands up. “I fucking hate this.” His head snapped up. “How did that asshole find out about us, anyway?”

  “I have no idea. Maybe someone saw us at the restaurant and jumped to conclusions. It’s not exactly a secret that we’ve shared women in the past. Even management has mentioned it.”

  Leo winced. That was true enough. He’d never stopped to consider that his sexual past might come back and bite him in the ass. “I fucking hate people. If I find out who did this, they’re gonna be sorry they ever met me.”

  “Just keep cool, man. It does us no good to have you going off all half-cocked on some mission of vengeance.”

  Leo kicked the table leg in front of him. “I feel like my life is out of my own control, and it seriously sucks.”

  “It does. But for right now, we have to concentrate on hockey and let Kelly be.”

  “You’re right. Of course, you’re right.”

  The two of them trudged out the door to practice, unsure of where tomorrow or the next day would take them.

  * * * *

  Kelly spent the time while the guys were away going back and forth a million times on her decision about whether or not to keep seeing them. She would resolve to stay away from them, and it worked during the day when she was busy at the restaurant, but then she would go home at night and remember how good it felt to have both of the guys touching her, bringing her to new heights, and her determination would falter.

  She spent the first day they were back with a mixture of eagerness and anxiety churning in her gut. She’d missed them, but she also dreaded seeing them. It was funny. They’d only been together for a short time, but there had been months and months of anticipation and now that she’d had a little taste of them, she wanted more. Thankfully she didn’t have to go into work until later. She’d probably burn the kitchen down with how distracted she was. In a vain effort to get something productive done, she had taken all her curtains down and was washing her windows, when her doorbell rang. Dropping the rag, she wiped her hands on a towel and opened the door.

  “Of course,” she muttered as her doorway was filled by the very people she was trying to scrub out of her mind. As she took the sight of them in, however, she noticed both were shifting from foot to foot. Neither looked very happy. “Do you want to come in?”

  “Thank you,” Scott answered, his voice sounding odd to her, almost polite or formal. He walked past her, and Leo followed. Neither made any attempt to touch or kiss her.

  “Have a seat. Would you like a drink? Coffee?”

  “No, we’re fine,” Leo answered. “Could you sit?”

  “Sure.” Taking a seat, she waited for them to start the conversation.

  “First of all, we’re really sorry about the dick Roger calling you,” Scott began. “He didn’t print anything, so I guess the thinly veiled threat we issued worked.” Kelly nodded, and he took a deep breath before continuing. “Leo and I have talked, and we think it’s time we laid our cards on the table.”

  Leo cut in. “We’re in love with you.”

  Kelly’s mouth dropped open. They were in love with her? Both of them? How could that be? How did that happen?

  Scott glared at Leo briefly and then said, “I can see from your face that you don’t believe us. This was never casual for us. Never, Kelly. When we got involved with you, it was always with the intention of making you ours forever.”

  Kelly sank back against the recliner she’d sat down in. “But–but how would that work? Three people can’t be in a permanent relationship.”

  “Why not?” Leo challenged.

  “Because!” Kelly threw her hands up. “Because you just can’t! I mean, who does that?”

  “This is a free country, Kelly, we can do whatever we want.”

  “What if I want to have children?”

  “Then we’ll have children,” Scott answered, leaning over the coffee table to take her limp hands in his.

  “Who would the father be?”

  “Both of us, no matter who the actual biological father was.”

  “Both of you…”

  “Yes, Kelly, both of us.” He squeezed her hands and sat back.

  Leo moved to kneel in front of her. “We want you to move in with us, baby.”

  “Why?”

  “Why? So we can all get to know each other better.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You can break a lease, Kelly, if that’s what you’re worried about. And look, if you were living with us, we’d pay all the bills and you could put your money into savings, back into the restaurant…”

  Kelly shook her head. “No, I mean, I can’t live with you. I don’t even know if I can do this in general, much less live in the same house. I just can’t.”

  “Please, honey, give us a chance. Don’t say no.”

  She jumped up and backed away from the two of them. Both looked more upset and frustrated than she’d ever seen them, but she couldn’t let the fact she might be hurting them sway her decision. This was crazy! “I have to say no, Leo. For my own sanity.”

  “No, you don’t! We’ll give you everything you need,” Leo pleaded.

  Scott chimed in then. “We’ll love you every day for the rest of our lives, I can promise you that. We’ve never
done this before, either, and we know it’s scary as hell. We’re aware of that, and we also know you have no reason to trust us. But you have to make a leap of faith sometime. We’ll do everything in our power to make you happy.”

  “I know you would,” Kelly answered, sighing. “It’s not you. It’s the whole concept of the thing. It just feels…wrong.”

  “It’s only wrong if you let society dictate how you live your life, Kel.”

  “Society dictates how everybody lives their lives—why would this be any different? Why do you guys think you’re so different from anyone else that you can do whatever you want?” By the end of her tirade, she was close to shouting, and she took several deep breaths to bring herself back under control. Getting hysterical wouldn’t solve anything.

  The men waited for her calm down, and then Scott said, his voice quiet, “We know it’s not something that everybody does, but you’d be surprised how common permanent ménage relationships are. Maybe there aren’t as many of them here in America, but they’re pretty readily accepted in places like Europe. Several of our teammates when we played in Switzerland during the lockout had ménage relationships—permanent ménages. And yes, I know we don’t live in Europe. All I’m saying is it’s not outside of the realm of possibility that three people can make a happy life together.”

  A tear gathered, and she hastily wiped it away. “You know, for the past couple of days while you guys were gone, all I’ve been doing is going around and around this thing in my mind. I want you. You know that, but I just can’t risk it. I have too much to lose.” A sob broke loose, and Kelly shook her head. “I’m sorry.” Turning, she bolted from the room. She could hear the guys calling after her, but she locked herself in her master bathroom and let the tears come.

  “Please, Kelly, please,” she heard Leo begging her through the door.

  After a couple of minutes, a knock came. “Baby, it’s me, Scott. We’re gonna go. You need time to absorb everything we told you, and we’re going to respect that, no matter how hard it is for us to just sit by and not do anything while you cry in there. We’ll call you in a few days to talk more. Just don’t make any permanent decisions, okay? Promise us that.”

  “Just go,” she managed to get out before another wave of tears rolled down her ravaged, blotchy cheeks.

  “We love you. We’re not giving up on you, Kel.” She heard them leave the room and sank down onto the edge of the tub. Why did she have to love them both? She wasn’t stupid. She knew she was in love with them, too. But why couldn’t she have chosen one over the other? Even better, why couldn’t she have been attracted to a nice, safe accountant type?

  Chapter Ten

  Kelly threw herself into her work over the next weeks. True to their word, the guys left her alone, not even coming in for their traditional postgame meal. She missed them terribly but hoped to hell she had made the right decision. She couldn’t believe how much it hurt. She’d only been involved with them for a few weeks, but it felt like a part of her was missing.

  After making bread all morning, she had come out to the front of the house to take a break when she noticed an Intimidators logo flash across the screen. Her eyes were drawn to it like a moth to a flame. It was the noon newscast, and the sports anchor’s face replaced the logo. “We’ve working on this story right now. A rumor out of Calgary says the Flames are looking for a new goaltender in time for their play-off push. Inquiries have apparently been made to the Intimidators’ front office about Scott Schaeffer’s availability.” Kelly’s hand flew over her mouth as she stood there, staring at the television. “We’ll keep you informed as we track down more information on this developing story.” The newscast cut to weather and Kelly swallowed thickly. Traded?

  She’d never even considered the possibility that one of the guys could be traded. They’d both been a part of the team already when she’d really started paying attention to hockey, so it seemed like they’d always been there. It made perfect sense, though. The Intimidators had two great goaltenders, while many teams in the league had none. But their system seemed to work so well! Why would management want to change that?

  Kelly hadn’t even realized she’d stopped dead in the walkway between the restaurant and the kitchen until she heard a throat clearing to her left. One of her bussers was standing there with a full tub of dirty dishes, looking uncomfortable. “I’m sorry,” Kelly answered, her face flaming. She moved to the side to allow him to pass. Kelly found herself glancing up at the television again, even though the newscast had gone on to cover other subjects.

  I need to find out what’s going on with this.

  Sequestering herself in her office, she booted up her laptop and did a search for Scott’s name. Sure enough, the rumor was featured on many of the hockey news sites, as well as several trade rumor websites and blogs. Kelly bit her lip. Would Scott be traded? And, if so, what did that mean for him? For Leo? For her? She wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on her chef’s pants, her stomach roiling.

  Shaking her head to clear it, she went back into the kitchen. “You doing okay, Kel?” Bonnie asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “I saw the story on the news. It’s just a rumor, hon. There are tons of them around the trade deadline. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “I know.”

  Bonnie put her hand on Kelly’s arm. “You really care about them, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do. They’re my friends.”

  “Yes…” Bonnie replied, giving her a strange look.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” Removing her hand, Bonnie asked, “What do you need me to do?”

  “Here?” Kelly looked around. “I think we’re all set. Go home.”

  “Are you sure? I can hang out.”

  “No, go. I can handle everything.” Bonnie worked far too many hours as it was, and Kelly was loath to keep her there just to calm her frazzled nerves.

  “I’ll be home if it gets too busy.”

  Kelly waved her off. “We’ll be fine. Go home and relax.”

  She was half expecting the guys to come in that night, but they didn’t. Instead, she slogged her way through a slow dinner shift and supervised her staff as they gave the restaurant a thorough cleaning. Her mood seemed to be having an effect on her employees, too. They were all on edge, and finally she just sent everyone home. When she arrived at her house, there was a message on her answering machine. Scott’s voice came through the speaker, and she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face.

  Hi, baby. We didn’t want to call you at work and disturb you. Anyway, by now you’ve probably heard the rumor about me being traded. While it’s true I don’t have a no-trade clause, don’t put any stock in rumors—they always come up at this time of year. Just so you know, both Leo and I asked for no-trade clauses when we renegotiated our contracts, but management didn’t go for it, probably because of our ages. Anyway, we’re going out of town for a game, but we’ll be home in a few days and we’ll call then. Take care of yourself, honey. We love you.

  Kelly sat down after listening to the message, rubbing her hand absently over her pounding heart. Just hearing his voice had turned her inside out. How could she handle him being traded and never seeing him again? The thought scared the hell out of her, and she knew for sure what she had been unwilling to admit to herself before now. No matter what the potential consequences were, she had to pursue this relationship with Leo and Scott. She couldn’t imagine her life without them.

  It was impossible to act on that decision, though. For one thing, as Scott had said, the guys were going out of town. Second, she needed to wait for the trade deadline to pass. If she told them she was committing to them and then Scott got traded a few days later, it would hurt all of them unnecessarily. It was better to wait and see what happened and then go to them if Scott remained an Intimidator. With that settled, she went to bed, her mind at ease for the first time in weeks.

  The next morning, she turned on the news as
soon as she woke up. They were reporting that Calgary had asked one of their star players to waive his no-trade clause for a trade to the Intimidators, and that the player was currently “weighing his options.” The biggest sticking point seemed to be that the player had been with the Flames for over ten years and didn’t want to uproot his family. Kelly prayed that the player’s wife would weigh in and make him stay. If that happened, Calgary wouldn’t have the money needed under the salary cap to trade for Scott.

  The sportscaster also mentioned that there were various things about the current goaltending situation that were less than ideal from Buffalo’s standpoint, most notably the ages of both Scott and Leo and their combined contract figure. There was also some talk of off-ice problems, and Kelly wondered if someone had gone to the Intimidators’ management with the rumor about her relationship with the men. If she found out that was the case and that it had been that jerk Roger, she’d make him sorry he’d ever met her.

  With that thought crowding her mind, she went in to work, but ducked into the dining area more frequently than normal to check the status of the rumor. Normally she didn’t pay much attention to what channel the television was on, but she’d asked the staff to keep it on ESPN. They had a limited cable package that didn’t include the NHL Network, so this was the best she could do. ESPN wasn’t good for much where hockey was concerned, except for the scrolling news headlines at the bottom of the screen. At least with ESPN on, she was sure to see if anything broke with the story.

  The hours until the trade deadline crawled by. The team was in New Jersey, and due to arrive home in the early morning hours after the game. They had a game the next day against Washington, and Kelly decided she would stake out the players’ entrance outside the arena if Scott wasn’t traded. She began to formulate her plan as the deadline got closer and there was still no word on Scott being traded.

  She found herself balancing a mixing bowl on her hip, standing behind the counter, her eyes shifting between the bowl and the television as the three o’clock deadline came and went. It was possible he’d been traded and it just wasn’t showing up yet, but her sense of relief was palpable. Her phone buzzed with a text message, and she set the bowl down on the counter quickly, pulling the phone out of her pocket. It was from Leo.