When the Devil Wants In

by Cate Ashwood

  He reached out, nearly touched Matt, nearly woke him. But in the end, John knew how much easier it would be to leave if he weren’t lost in Matt’s dark eyes, weren’t trying to read his expressions as he walked out the door.

  With that thought in mind, John pulled away and got out of bed as quietly as he could. He found his clothes, his shoes, and dressed in the dark. He thought to leave a note, some sort of message, something to let Matt know how much he’d appreciated the comfort, the shelter, the idea of a better way of life. He wanted to tell Matt that he’d call him, that they’d get together soon.

  In the end, though, John simply grabbed his keys and slipped out the front door, locking it behind him. As if he could lock Matt away from him in the process.

  “GOOD LORD,” Ilene said as she strolled into John’s yard. She was in her Sunday best, complete with a hat as big as the moon. “I thought you’d at least come to Easter services today. I saved you a seat….”

  John managed to get out of going to church with his parents more often than not, but holidays were generally required. He’d gotten up early enough for it, even thought about going, but he couldn’t bring himself to follow through. “I’m sorry, Momma. I went out to Melonie’s to help her with Birdy’s egg hunt and I lost track of time.” Mostly true. He had gone to his sister’s that morning, but he still had plenty of time to go to services. John had decided at the last second to drive out of town and pick up some things for the yard. All he’d really wanted was to call Matt and see if he could spare an hour or two. He’d wanted to do that all weekend but had resisted the urge. They hadn’t seen each other since the barbeque the week before and had barely exchanged ten words in between.

  “Well,” Ilene said, looking at John from head to toe. “Your sister and my grandbaby made it.”

  “I’m sorry, Momma.” John glanced down at his feet, covered in dirt like the rest of him—he’d been working in the garden for two hours. “I just wanted to get this done. I shouldn’t have skipped out on church.”

  Ilene’s lips twitched in a smile, and John knew she’d forgiven him. His mother could be stern and maybe even overbearing at times, but in her own way, she had a soft spot for him too. “I’m not the one you should apologize to,” she said, her hands on her hips. “You remember this tonight when you say your prayers.”

  John couldn’t remember the last time he’d said a prayer. “Yes’m.”

  “Now you get yourself washed up and ready for dinner,” Ilene said as she turned toward her house. “We’ve got company comin’.”

  “Who’s the company?”

  Ilene glanced at him from the sidewalk. “Mel and Birdy, of course, and Chloe….”

  That hardly counted as company. They showed up at least twice a month for Sunday dinner. “Mel bringin’ Thompson?”

  “They are all Thompsons, son. And I’m sure your sister will bring her husband, yes.”

  John couldn’t stop himself from groaning. “I don’t know how you can stand to let him around.”

  “He’s your sister’s husband and my son-in-law. Of course he comes around.”

  “I don’t like the way he treats Mel.” They’d had this conversation before.

  Ilene stepped closer again. They were getting very close to airing their dirty laundry in public. It didn’t matter that there were only three other houses on their road or that there were about two football fields between them and their nearest neighbor. “What goes on between a husband and a wife is no one’s business but their own.” Ilene paused for a beat and then added, “That’s somethin’ you might understand better if you made an honest woman out of Chloe.”

  John wanted to shake his fist at her. “I think he beats her, Momma. How is that not our business?”

  Ilene shook her head. “If he was doin’ that, don’t you think Melonie would’ve said somethin’ by now?”

  John had to clamp his jaw shut on all the things he wanted to say just then. Melonie had been with that asshole for more than six years and only married him so their mother would stop crying about how indecent it was that Mel had gotten pregnant. “I don’t think she would, no.”

  “Well, I do,” Ilene said. “So we’ll have to agree to disagree. Have you ever asked her?”

  Dammit all. “She says she’s fine.”

  “Then she’s fine and we have to respect that.”

  Without another word, Ilene turned and headed home. John kicked the nearest thing, which was a mistake. Wheelbarrows are hard.

  THE SMELL of ham filled the air between John’s house and his parents’ kitchen. He’d gone to a little extra trouble since his mother was already annoyed with him—shower, shave, slacks. He’d even worn a tie and arrived early. That had to win him a few points and a spot back in her good graces.

  He didn’t even get the screen door opened before Birdy saw him and charged at him. “Uncle John! I’ve been helpin’ Mawmaw make supper!” The kid was bouncing around, nearly tripping over the apron she wore. “Come see,” Birdy said as she stood back to let John in.

  The kitchen table was loaded with deviled eggs, fruit salad, ambrosia, rolls, cornbread, and three different cakes.

  When John went to reach for an egg, his mother shook a wooden spoon at him. “Don’t you dare, Johnathan Raymond Turner.”

  All three names. John snapped his hand back as if he’d been electrocuted. “Anything I can help with?”

  “Miss Birdy and I have it under control,” Ilene said as she opened the oven door. “Just gonna let the ham rest a bit. Why don’t you go check and see if your daddy needs anything while Birdy and I mash these potatoes and get the greens ready for servin’?”

  John paused to give Birdy a kiss on the top of her head. “Make sure you don’t mash ’em too much. I like mine lumpy.”

  Birdy giggled as she dropped a stick of butter into the bowl with the potatoes and started to mash.

  Before John made it out of the kitchen, Chloe came in through the back door. She’d tied her hair back into a loose bun, strands of it falling over her face and down her neck in ringlets. “I brought some angel food cake and strawberries,” she said as she walked in, her arms full.

  John stepped over to her and took the cake from her. “Don’t you look pretty,” he said, kissing her cheek. Something about the bright yellow sundress she wore made her seem happier than usual.

  “That’s because I am,” she said with a laugh as they added her offerings to the table. “And where have you been all day, heathen?”

  Before John could answer, Ilene said, “Don’t joke like that, darlin’. The Lord don’t take things like that lightly.”

  “Sorry, Miss Ilene.” Chloe didn’t look sorry at all, but she did look like she was ready to kick off her shoes and make a run for it.

  She didn’t get a chance, though. Just as John was about to pull Chloe out of the kitchen, there was a knock on the back door. He went to answer it, and found Jenny on the steps.

  “Happy Easter,” she said brightly. She had a cake and a little Easter basket with her.

  Ilene wiped her hands on her apron and smiled at Jenny. “Well, aren’t you sweet,” she said as she took the cake from her. “Can ya stay for supper?”

  “I can’t, no,” Jenny said, smiling at Chloe and then Birdy, who ignored her. The child was too involved in her potatoes to even spare a glance. Before John could tell Birdy to say hello, Jenny added, “I was just in the neighborhood, thought I’d drop this by.”

  “Well, I’m glad ya did,” Ilene said as she went back to her ham. “I’ll see ya on Wednesday for Bible study?”

  Jenny grinned and nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it.” She turned to step back outside and said over her shoulder, “Tell ol’ Ray I say hello. There’s a one of them cream eggs he likes so much in that basket.”

  “Will do, hon.” Ilene went back to her task, and John closed the door behind Jenny.

  Ilene glanced out the window and watched her go before she said, “Son, I know this isn’t a kind thing to do, but
put that cake in the bin.” Genuinely surprised, John stared at his mother for a moment. She added, “That girl’s got a heart of gold, but the last time I ate anything she brought around, I was laid up for days.”

  He huffed a laugh and scraped the cake into the garbage. “We got plenty anyway.”

  “That we do,” Ilene said.

  John took Chloe’s hand and turned them toward the dining room. “Come say hi to Daddy and Mel.”

  Once they were through the swinging door, Chloe whispered, “Your mother scares me when she gets all Jesusy on me.”

  John leaned close, trying not to laugh. “She scares you even when she’s not all Jesusy.”

  “I know, but I don’t know why. She’s the one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, but she makes me jumpy.”

  “Afraid she’s judgin’ you for your see-through dress?”

  Chloe smacked him on the arm. “I wore a slip.”

  He wondered if maybe it was the simple fact of lying to his mother since the first time John had introduced them. It’d been going on so long, they fell into their routine like settling into an old easy chair, but maybe underneath it all Chloe judged herself—judged both of them—for all the deception. He didn’t like to think of that, though.

  “Daddy?” John called out. “Where you at?” He didn’t get an answer, but when he found the living room empty, he headed straight for the Florida room.

  His father and Melonie sat together on the love seat near the air conditioner, putting a puzzle together.

  “There you are,” Chloe said, getting Ray to look up at them.

  Ray beamed at her. “I was wonderin’ when you’d show up. Come give this old man some sugar.”

  Chloe laughed and kissed him on the cheek when Ray stood and hugged her.

  “It’s been too long, girl.”

  “It’s been less than a week,” Chloe informed him as she pulled a club chair closer to the coffee table where the puzzle was laid out.

  “And that’s too long,” Ray said, still grinning.

  Melonie snapped a piece of the puzzle into place and said, “You gotta stop tellin’ girls to give you sugar, Daddy. People can take that the wrong way.”

  Ray huffed a laugh. “It’s not like I say it to just anyone.”

  “I know.” Melonie looked like she had more to say on the subject, but she let it drop.

  “Where’s Charles?” Chloe asked, leaning close as she found a piece and added it to the one Mel had just put together.

  Melonie glanced up at John first, then at Chloe. “He wasn’t feelin’ too well, so I left him on his own.”

  John could guess why Shitbag wasn’t feeling good, but he didn’t say a word. He did notice how much makeup Melonie had worn, noticed her long sleeves too. He had to grit his teeth, thankful when Chloe tugged his hand and pulled him down to perch next to her on the arm of the chair. “What’re we workin’ on this week?” he asked, picking up the lid so he could look at the picture. One thousand pieces, a horse running wild on a grassy field.

  “It’s a tough one,” Ray said, snapping a row from the edge together. “Lotta green.” After a beat, he glanced at John and said, “Why don’t you go fetch us a few beers, son?”

  “’Cause Momma’d skin us both alive.”

  Ray sighed but looked amused. “You’d think after thirty-one years, I’d be used to her dry Sundays.” He pulled a flask from his back pocket and added a splash of his whiskey into his iced tea.

  John and Melonie declined when Ray passed it to them, but Chloe took him up on the offer.

  “Just a sip,” she said before tossing back at least twice as much as Ray had put in his tea.

  With a bark of laughter, Ray snatched it back from her. “You’re gonna pass out before dinner if you’re not careful.”

  Clearly Ray didn’t know Chloe very well.

  “I guess it got away from me,” she said, glancing at John, the two of them trying not to laugh.

  “What’re your folks up to today, Chloe?” Ray asked as he sifted through more puzzle pieces.

  “They’re up in Chattanooga visiting Daddy’s sister and her husband.”

  Ray nodded, a smile twitching his lips. “One of my brothers is up there. Got himself three kids and a whole lotta grandbabies.”

  John was about to change the subject when the sound of tires on the gravel out front had him sitting up like a meerkat, trying to look out the window. A car door closed and John was on his feet. “Y’all expectin’ anyone else, Daddy?”

  “Your momma invited one of her strays over. Said he didn’t have plans for Easter supper and was new in town.”

  John’s heart beat too fast when he saw Matt’s truck parked under the pecan tree. When he caught sight of Matt striding up the front walk, dressed in a suit and tie, carrying a bouquet of Easter lilies and case of beer, John damn near passed out. He turned to ask Chloe if she knew, but the look on her face answered for her.

  “They ran into each other yesterday in the Piggly Wiggly,” Chloe said through her Cheshire-cat grin. “Didn’t I mention it?”

  He had to swallow hard before he could answer. “Better hide that beer before Momma sees it.” John finally understood the old saying about bad things happening to good people.

  “OH LORD, we thank you for these many divine blessings….”

  John tuned out almost instantly. He barely heard a word of the prayer his father offered as everyone around the table joined hands. John was too focused on the fact that he was touching Matt again, flooded with thoughts about what Matt and he had gotten up to the weekend before. His skin flushed with heat, his blood pounded stronger through his veins, and he wondered if Matt was thinking the same thing.

  When everyone else mumbled a quiet amen, John shook his hands loose from both Matt and Chloe so fast it probably looked alarming to anyone watching.

  “Are you findin’ your way around all right, Matt?” Ilene asked as they tucked into their meals.

  Matt looked like a deer caught in headlights for a beat as he tried to swallow the food in his mouth. “I am, yeah. Being out on patrol helps, and my partner, Andy, he’s been really great helping me get oriented.”

  Ray laughed and said, “I forget how fast y’all talk till there’s a Yankee at the table.”

  “Ray.” Ilene sounded like she was ready to scold him, but she didn’t. She turned her attention back to Matt instead. “He don’t mean anything by it.”

  Matt laughed. “It’s not the first time I’ve been told I talk too fast since I got here.” He took a sip of his sweet tea before adding, “But, I don’t know, I find that part of the charm of the area. There’s a different… cadence to life here, if that makes sense.”

  Everyone nodded in agreement. John had never thought of it quite like that, but Matt was right. Life was slower in his hometown, no need to rush.

  “You’re absolutely right,” Ilene said as she cut Birdy’s ham into smaller pieces for her.

  Birdy pushed her blonde hair back from her face and looked at Matt. “Where’re ya from, anyhow?”

  “San Francisco,” Matt told her, grinning. “In California.”

  “The state capital is Sacramento,” Birdy said with a nod, as if she’d just told Matt the secret to a good life. “I know almost all fifty now.”

  Matt glanced at John before looking to Birdy again. “I’m not sure if I could tell you all fifty.”

  Just then—whether on purpose or not, John couldn’t guess—Matt brushed his leg against John’s under the table and John nearly spit his food out onto his plate. He jumped back like something had bitten him.

  Chloe seemed to guess what had happened and let out a laugh.

  “You look like you’re havin’ a fit or somethin’,” Melonie said. “You all right?”

  John tried to scoot his chair in again, a little closer to Chloe. “Yeah, just, mosquito or somethin’ musta got me.”

  John spent the rest of the meal trying to hang on to his sanity during the longest hour of his l
ife.

  OUT ON the back porch, John took a long drag from his cigarette. Chloe and Melonie were inside with the others, but he could hear them laughing and cutting up as Ilene got ready to serve dessert. All John wanted in the world was to go home and hide, but he couldn’t.

  And that wasn’t even true. What he really wanted was to pull Matt away from everyone, run off to the woods or, hell, back to Matt’s house, and let Matt fuck him until neither of them could think anymore. The attraction between them—at least for John—was just as strong, just as dominating as it had been that very first night. But the thing that made John restless in his own skin was how much he liked Matt even when they weren’t fucking.

  He liked the way Matt listened and talked with Birdy, how he seemed interested when his mother told him old stories about folk who were dead and buried decades earlier, the way Matt and his father tossed jokes back and forth. Even Melonie—who had grown distrustful of men over the last few years—seemed to like him. Not for the first time, John found himself wishing his life, his family, were just slightly different. Different enough that this dinner tonight could’ve been John introducing Matt as his… what? Boyfriend? Or at least his maybe-one-day-boyfriend. Instead, Matt was a guy he’d fucked a few times, a guy he wanted to do a lot more with, whose very presence set John’s nerves on edge.

  “You hiding from me or them?”

  The sound of Matt’s voice behind him made John flinch, but he managed to stay put and simply glance over his shoulder at Matt. “Both, I reckon.”

  Matt didn’t seem too put off and offered John an easy smile. “I didn’t mean to ambush you tonight. I assumed your mom or Chloe would’ve mentioned it, and I… well, I didn’t know if you wanted to hear from me.”

  Given the look on Matt’s face, that admission cost him something, but John could only guess what. He knew he’d made a mistake when he snuck out on Matt the week before. Regret had followed him all the way home that morning, and it took everything in him not to turn his truck around. His quick, one-word responses to Matt’s texts had been a mistake too, but he couldn’t undo any of it now. Why the guy was still bothering with John was a mystery.