Nightshade

by Andrea Cremer

  He caught the dark expression on my face. “Why?”

  I swept slowly, tightening my grip on the broom.

  “Because of Sabine?” he asked in a low voice.

  I froze. “You know?”

  “Neville told Mason, and Mason told me.” He stared at the pile of sugar.

  “Ren told me,” I said softly, and began to sweep again.

  Ansel maneuvered the dustpan to catch the sugar. “Mason said Ren is really broken up about it. I mean that’s third-hand info, but I believe it. He can’t protect Sabine from Efron. I can’t imagine what that feels like for an alpha. Master or no, it has to go against Ren’s instinct to protect his packmates.”

  I didn’t respond but continued pushing the sugar toward Ansel.

  “What do you think about it?” he asked.

  “For the first time I was glad Lumine is our mistress,” I said. “And I hope Logan is different. Ren said he’s not like his father but that he’s unpredictable.”

  He shrugged. “Well, Logan would be different no matter what. I mean he wouldn’t want—”

  The front door banged open and Bryn bounced into the kitchen.

  Ansel straightened abruptly, dropping the sugar in his dustpan back on the floor. I groaned.

  “Oh. Sorry.” He threw me an apologetic glance, taking the broom from me.

  “Ready for the great outdoors, Cal?” Bryn smiled and then looked at the floor. “What happened?”

  “Ansel believes that coffee should be drunk in equal parts with sugar.” I smiled at my still-blushing brother. “He got a little enthusiastic about it.”

  Bryn laughed, turning to head back out the door.

  “Hey, wait a sec,” I said, catching her arm.

  She raised a surprised brow.

  “I’d like to make a solo run today. Do you mind?” It was hard to keep my voice even.

  “What?”

  “I’d prefer to do the patrol alone,” I said, fumbling for a reason and finding nothing. Lame, Calla, so lame. She’ll never buy this.

  “I see.” She wandered to the kitchen table, settling into a chair. “So you’re meeting Ren?”

  “What?” I blurted.

  “What?!” Ansel jumped up, spilling the sugar again. He swore, but he didn’t bend down to resume his cleanup.

  My eyes darted from Bryn to my brother. “I am not meeting Ren.” It wasn’t what I’d expected but I realized it might be enough to keep Bryn away from patrol. Even if it meant suffering a week or more of teasing from these two.

  “Really?” Bryn fingered the empty sugar bowl on the table. “I thought you two seemed to be getting along rather well at Eden. He’s a great dancer. Isn’t he, Ansel?”

  She winked at my brother, who snickered.

  I glared at each of them in turn. “I am NOT meeting Ren.” I knew if I didn’t protest, she wouldn’t invest in her new conspiracy theory.

  “Fine.” She smiled, her eyes telling me she didn’t believe me at all, which in this case worked in my favor. “That’s good because it’s technically against the rules for two alphas to patrol together. You know, in case anything were to happen and both of you were killed.”

  “Technically we’re not alphas of the new pack yet. We’re still a Nightshade and a Bane,” I snapped.

  “So you are meeting him, then.” Her grin became so broad I thought her face would crack.

  “I am not!” I snatched the sugar spoon from Ansel and threw it at her, but she dodged it easily.

  My stomach tied itself into painful knots. I was fairly certain that over the course of our night at Eden, I’d succeeded in pushing the Bane alpha away.

  Bryn laughed and went to the cupboard. “Whatever.” She grabbed a coffee mug. “If you want to go alone, that’s fine with me. No matter what you plan to do up there.”

  Still glaring at her, I returned to the kitchen table to finish my coffee.

  Ansel finally managed to get the spilled sugar into the trash can.

  “So, Bryn.” He grabbed the empty sugar bowl and went back to the pantry. I was surprised there was any sugar left considering the amount we’d swept from the floor. “If you’re not patrolling today, would you mind doing me a favor?”

  Bryn took a sip of her coffee, squishing her face up. “If you can bring me sugar for this bitter stuff.” She looked at me. “I don’t know how you drink this straight. You’re badass.”

  “That’s why I’m your boss.”

  Ansel swept back to the table brandishing the refilled sugar bowl.

  “Stop swinging that around; you’ll spill it all over again,” I muttered.

  “Good man.” Bryn grabbed the bowl.

  He opened a kitchen drawer and tossed her a spoon.

  “Thanks.” She began to shovel granules into her mug. “What’s the favor?”

  I shook my head. “If you guys were humans, you’d already be diabetic.”

  Ansel laughed, but his gaze fell on Bryn. “Uh. You had Ms. Thornton for English as a sophomore, right?” He sounded nervous.

  “Everyone has her.” Bryn stirred her coffee. “She’s the only English teacher for sophomores.”

  “Oh yeah, right,” he mumbled. “Well, we’re at the poetry unit now, and I’m just not getting it.”

  “Uh-huh.” After one taste of her coffee, she wrinkled her nose and reached for the sugar once more. After a quick glance at the clock, I got up and carried my mug to the sink.

  “So I know you write poetry,” Ansel continued, his eyes fixed intently on the depths of his mug. “And I thought maybe you could help me out.”

  Bryn shrugged. “Sure. Since Calla’s dumped me for her new boyfriend, I’m free.”

  My mug clattered into the stainless steel basin. “He is not my boyfriend!”

  She ignored me. “You know, An, if you really want help with poetry, you should talk to Neville. From what I hear, his poetry is much better than mine. He’s even had some stuff published.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Ansel said quickly. “I’ll do that, but the assignment is due tomorrow and you’re here now.”

  “Okay. Good point,” she said.

  “I’m glad you’re doing something useful today.” I stormed from the kitchen.

  I could hear their laughter trail after me as I shifted into wolf form and bolted into the woods behind our house.

  I ran up the eastern slope of the mountain. The frosted earth bit into my paws. I knew where I was headed and didn’t pause until I arrived at my intended destination. When I reached the ridge, I dropped onto my haunches. He was there, quietly waiting for me, and I wasn’t as surprised as I thought I would be. I watched him from my elevated vantage point for several minutes and considered my options. Finally I rose and leapt from the ridge, landing just a few feet away from him. He yelped in surprise, scrambling to his feet.

  I stared at him, silent, unmoving. He blinked at me. Then he slowly stretched out his hand, taking a few steps forward. He bent down. When I realized what he was about to do, I snarled, snapping at his fingers. He jumped back and swore. I shifted into human form.

  “You’re like a dead man walking.” I pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don’t ever, ever try to pet a wolf. It’s just insulting.”

  “Sorry.” He looked chagrined, then he laughed. “Good morning, Calla.”

  “Good morning, Shay.”

  NINE

  “I’M SURPRISED YOU SHOWED UP. YOU MUST be an early riser.” I paced back and forth uneasily, scanning the edge of the forest that surrounded us. “Why did you want to meet me here?”

  I was more worried about why I’d wanted him to be in the clearing.

  “Not so much an early riser as a non-sleeper. I’m trying to figure out what all this crazy I’ve fallen into is,” he said. “Besides, I wanted to keep our coffee date.”

  He reached down and unzipped his bag, withdrawing a slender stainless steel thermos and a small tin cup.

  “Date?” I shivered, but not because of the chilly morning air.
/>
  His playful smile didn’t fade as he poured a cup of tar dark liquid from the thermos and stretched it toward me. “Espresso.”

  “Thanks.” I laughed, taking the cup. “That’s some high-class hiking.”

  “Only for special occasions,” he said.

  I looked at his empty hands. “None for you?”

  “I thought we could share,” he said. “I promise I don’t have cooties.”

  I smiled, mesmerized for a moment by the way the morning sunlight pulled golden threads through Shay’s soft waves of brown hair.

  “Calla?” He leaned toward me and I wished he would grab me the way he had in my dream. “You okay?”

  I moved my eyes off him, taking a sip of my coffee. It was incredibly strong and absolutely delicious. “You know, most people don’t return to sites of their near-death encounters. You might even say that wiser people would avoid them.”

  I stretched the tin cup toward him. His fingers brushed against mine as he lifted it from my hands and my skin crackled, warm and alive, at the contact. When his lips touched the metal, I shivered, as if he’d kissed me rather than the edge of the cup. Is that what a kiss would be like? That electricity I feel when our hands touch, but on my lips?

  “I’m not most people.” He dropped into a cross-legged position.

  “No, you’re not.” I sat down opposite him.

  “I am wise, though.” He grinned. “I think that bear will stay away from here for a while. You’re a pretty scary wolf.”

  “And that doesn’t bother you?” I asked.

  Shay leaned back on his elbows, stretching out his legs. “If you were going to eat me, you’d have done it already.”

  I shuddered. “I do not eat people.”

  “I rest my case.” He lifted his face, letting sunlight wash over him.

  I studied his features, wishing I could trace the shape of his mouth with my fingertips.

  “Still,” I murmured. “You should be afraid of me.”

  He plucked a faded wildflower from the ground. “Why?”

  “Because I could kill you,” I said.

  “That bear would have killed me.” He curled the flower’s stem around his fingers. “You stopped it.”

  I shouldn’t have. The words stuck in my throat. I looked at the soft curls of his hair, the sweet smile that played on his lips. How could I let him die? He’s done nothing wrong.

  He took my silence as a need for more explanation. “You saved my life. In my book that earns you a lot of trust.”

  “Fair enough.” I managed a nod. “Still, you shouldn’t be up here.”

  “It’s a free country.”

  “It’s a capitalist country and this is private property.”

  He stared at the small flower for a moment and then crushed it in his fist. “Your property?”

  “Not exactly,” I said. “But I’m responsible for it.”

  “Just you?”

  “No,” I said. “And that’s why—among other reasons—after today you cannot come up here again. I’m not usually alone.”

  “Who would be with you?” he asked.

  “Bryn.” I stretched out on the ground. The early-morning sun brightened, throwing streams of light along the frosty ground. “Short, bronze ringlets, sharp tongue. You’ve seen her at school.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “She sits behind you in first period.”

  “Yes.” I hooked my finger at him and he handed me the cup. I tried to ignore my disappointment when our fingers didn’t meet.

  “And she’s a werewolf too?”

  My mouth paused on the rim of the cup.

  “Sorry, sorry.” He ducked his head. “I mean . . . uh . . . Guardian?”

  “Yeah.” I sipped the espresso, looking away.

  “But you can turn into a wolf? Whenever you want . . . I mean. No moon necessary?” He held up a hand as if to ward off an anticipated blow. “I don’t mean to insult you. I’m going completely on pop culture references here.”

  “Yeah. That’s fine,” I said. “And the answer is yes. We can change whenever we want. The moon has nothing to do with it.”

  He looked impressed. “And you just kind of shimmer when you change, which is interesting. I mean, your clothes don’t go flying off in shreds.” The moment the words were out of his mouth, he flushed.

  I nearly spilled the rest of the coffee. “I’m sorry to disappoint you,” I murmured, feeling my own cheeks redden.

  “I just meant . . .” He flailed, grasping for his question.

  “It’s complex magic,” I said, hurrying past the awkward exchange. “Technically I’m both the wolf and human all the time. I choose what form my soul inhabits and I can move freely between the two. Whatever form I’m not in is still there, just invisible—in something like another dimension—until I occupy it again. My clothes, supplies, whatever was with the human form the last time I was in it doesn’t alter. And I can pull on components of either form if I need them. Like the way I can make my teeth sharp even when I’m in human form.”

  I paused and thought for a moment. “I probably could make it so I had clothes on when I was a wolf if I really wanted. But there would be no utility in something like that. It would just be silly.”

  “Hmmm.” He stretched his hand toward me. “I need more coffee before I can process that.”

  I gave him the cup, letting my fingers brush over his before I let go.

  “Do you know where you come from?” His eyes stayed on my hand even as I let it fall into my lap. My pulse skipped. I thought about my father’s words, wrapping my arms around my knees.

  What am I doing up here? I’m risking too much.

  Shay watched me, calm, but curious. I met his eyes and knew I didn’t want to leave.

  “Legend has it that the first Guardian was created by a Keeper who had fallen in battle. The wounded Keeper hid in the forest, terribly weak, close to death. But a wolf appeared and brought the Keeper food, kept the other predators of the forest away. The Keeper was able to bind his wounds while the wolf continued to provide sustenance. When the Keeper healed, he offered to transform the wolf into a Guardian. Part human, part beast, full of Old Magic. In exchange for the wolf’s loyalty and eternal service, the Keeper would always provide for the Guardians and their kin. That was the first Guardian; we’ve been the Keepers’ warriors ever since.”

  He stared at me, face blank. “What’s a Keeper?”

  I groaned, realizing just how dangerous this conversation could be. It was much too easy to be comfortable around Shay. I was giving things away without intending to.

  He leaned forward. “What’s wrong? Are some questions still off-limits?”

  “I’m not sure.” I liked it when he was closer to me. I could smell the excitement jumping from his skin, a wild scent of approaching storm clouds.

  Delicious warmth swirled in my body. I dug my nails into my jeans. It’s the coffee. It’s just the coffee. My body curled in on itself.

  He watched my taut limbs retreat from him. “Take your time. I want you to trust me.”

  You aren’t the problem. I can’t seem to trust myself.

  I didn’t want to leave, but I was starting to feel afraid. Maybe if I could control the conversation, I could keep us both safe. “For now let’s just say the Keepers are who I have to answer to. Now can I ask you questions?”

  “Of course.” He looked delighted that I’d want to know anything about him.

  I laughed. “Can I have some more coffee first? We’ve already finished this off.”

  “Sure.” He refilled the cup I extended toward him.

  “Where are you from?” I started with what I thought was an easy question.

  “Everywhere,” he grumbled.

  “Everywhere?” I stared into the blackness of the espresso. “I don’t think I’ve been there.”

  “Sorry. I was born in Ireland. Some tiny island off the west coast.” His voice softened. “My parents died when I was an infant and Bosque took me
as his own.”

  “And he’s your uncle?” I watched him carefully.

  Shay nodded. “My mother’s brother.”

  That’s a lie, but I wonder if he knows it. I just smiled, gesturing for him to continue.

  “Bosque has some investment job. Government consulting, I don’t know exactly what. He has lots of money but has to travel all the time. I haven’t been at the same school for more than two years my entire life. We’ve lived in Europe, Asia, Mexico, and several cities in the U.S. I was in Portland for the last two years and then Bosque brought me to Colorado.”

  “That sounds very lonely.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve never really made friends, at least not close ones. I think that’s why I read so much. Books have been my real companions.”

  He shifted onto his side, stretching out along the ground. “It’s also why I backpack so much. I prefer isolation to crowds. The wilderness appeals to me.”

  Then he shuddered. “Except when I encounter a grizzly where there aren’t supposed to be any.” His eyes fell on me, sharp and interested. “Can I ask a question now? A different one?”

  I took a large, final swallow of espresso. “Sure. But I still have more.”

  “That’s fine. There’s just something I really want to know.” He rolled onto the balls of his feet and straightened. The sudden movement startled me. I jumped up, dropping the cup.

  I stepped back when Shay shrugged off his North Face jacket and pulled his shirt over his head.

  “Look.” He swept a hand along his chest.

  “Yes, very nice. You must work out,” I murmured. The warm flow of blood in my veins suddenly burned.

  His teeth clenched. “Come on. You know what I mean. No scars. Not here, not on my leg. That bear tore into me. Where are the scars?”

  I returned his steady gaze. “Put your clothes back on. It’s too cold for sunbathing.”

  I’d always thought my body was my greatest weapon, strong and unyielding as iron. Now my limbs were melting. I couldn’t look away from the curve of his shoulders, the way his hips sharply cut into a V where his jeans rested precariously across them, and the maze of lines that carved muscles from his sternum to his abdomen.

  “Are you going to answer my question?” Goose bumps popped up on his arms, but he remained stone still.