Walk of Shame

by Gregory, O. L.

  Walk of Shame

  O. L. Gregory

  Text Copyright ©2015 O. L. Gregory

  All Rights Reserved

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be resold

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One - Fed Up

  Chapter Two - The Phone Call

  Chapter Three - The Interview

  Chapter Four - Preparations

  Chapter Five - Ready, Set, Men!

  Chapter Six - Holding Court

  Chapter Seven - The Day After

  Chapter Eight - Week One - 12 Men Left

  Chapter Nine - Week Two - 10 Men Left

  Chapter Ten - Week Three - 8 Men Left

  Chapter Eleven - Week Four - Seven Men Left

  Chapter Twelve - Week Five - Five Guys Left

  Chapter Thirteen - Week Six - Still Five Guys Left

  Chapter Fourteen - Week Seven - Four Guys Left

  Chapter Fifteen - Week Eight - Three Men Left

  Chapter One

  Fed Up

  The stupid idiots in the stupid novel were making out again. If I'd been watching a movie, the dramatic music would have cued up in the background five minutes ago. In about another minute, the music would be taking a turn as the couple took things into the bedroom, or up against the nearest wall what with the way the author had the girl moaning and the guy groaning.

  And the really horrible, awful part of the whole situation was that I was the author.

  There I was, sitting in my comfy little living room, looking out over a moonlit lake, on a Friday night, and my only companion was a golden retriever. I know, pathetic, right? I mean, I could get a date, that wasn't the problem. It's that my life was just not set up so that I can have an actual relationship.

  And I could change my lifestyle, but I really didn't want to. I liked my life. Hell, I loved my life.

  I just wished I had someone who would lift me up against a wall, carry me off to the bedroom, then still be there come morning, and still be around for repeat performances as time went on.

  I looked back down at my computer and resisted the urge to delete a full day's worth of work. It wasn't horrible work, I just didn't enjoy writing about a character that I was so thoroughly jealous of in the moment.

  I set my laptop on the coffee table instead. I stood, stretched, and walked over to the trio of windows looking out onto the beach. Goldie, my creatively named golden retriever, let out a soft 'woof' and started thumping her tail against the floor.

  "You wanna go out?"

  She lifted her head, her tail making big swishing wags, and then she whined.

  I took that as a yes. I didn't really even need to ask. She always wanted to go out. "C'mon."

  Up and to the door she went. I opened the door, took the three steps down to the ground, and she beat me around the front end of the fifth wheel, grabbing her stick along the way.

  I loved this campground. I'd added it to my running list of favorites on my desktop. Decent sized sites, full hook-ups, excellent wireless signals, the satellite TV reception was great, and right on the beach, overlooking a peaceful lake. They even had mountains way off in the background, for crying out loud.

  The price in-season had been out of my league But the winter pricing was doable, and so here I am.

  Goldie dropped her stick at my feet once I'd caught up to her. And like the dutiful human that I was, I picked it up and threw it further down the beach for her. March was too early to be throwing it out over the water.

  "Oh my God, that was weak. You throw like a girl!"

  I scanned for the face that went with the familiar voice and saw him inside the window of the travel trailer in the site next to mine. "Yeah, well, last time I checked I was one."

  He laughed and took my response as an invitation to join me on the beach.

  Ben was a nice enough guy. He'd pulled in two days after I had, about six weeks ago. He had apparently accumulated two months of vacation time over the last few years with his job. They were changing their policy and they weren't going to let the employees carry over their paid time off from the previous year anymore. So, rather than lose it, he'd rented a travel trailer and had taken off. We'd talked and gotten to know one another during those first couple of weeks. He'd taken me to dinner a few times. But, the man lived in New York City, and I am so not a city girl.

  Goldie sure liked him though. She brought the stick back and dropped it at his feet.

  He picked it up and launched it down the shoreline. And then we fell in step together and walked down the beach. If Goldie hadn't have liked him, I never would have went out with him, even as friends. I had always gone with the line of thinking that if she got all protective and growled at someone, there was a reason for it.

  "So, how's the word-count today?" he asked.

  "Fifty-six hundred."

  "Wow. Good job."

  "Yeah, but I don't like the entire last scene I did. It felt... forced."

  "Why?"

  "The dialogue sounded contrived, and the actions predictable. It just wasn't flowing for me."

  "So what do you do?"

  "Read over it again tomorrow, highlight what bugs me, and try to play the scene from a different angle. If that doesn't work, I'll look at my outline and try picking a different scene to work on."

  He chuckled. "I thought bringing yourself out here, so you could have an inspirational setting to work in, was supposed to help you."

  Goldie brought the stick back and Ben threw it again.

  "It does, and it has, very much. It's just that not every scene writes itself. In the meantime, I have all this to watch and see around me."

  "Have you eaten yet?"

  "No, but I have some leftovers I was going to heat up."

  "I have stew in a crock pot..."

  "You cooked? Like, with real food?"

  "Hey! I've been doing pretty well for myself lately. And as long as frozen vegetables count, then yes, I used real food. You wanna come have some with me?"

  "Sure. Getting tired of eating by yourself again?"

  "I just can't get used to it. I'm just now getting the hang of all the quiet."

  "I thought that's what you wanted?"

  "Yeah, and it was nice for a couple weeks. But I'm looking forward to getting back to the hustle and bustle."

  I stomped back into my fifth wheel an hour later. We'd had a pleasant dinner, trading banter back and forth, cracking jokes, and laughing. It was nice, but then he tried to kiss me and I'd dodged him. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but then instead of taking the hint, he propositioned me to spend the night with him. ...Really? ...Really?

  He was going back to the city in less than a week and he wanted to start up sex now?

  And this isn't the first time in the last four years that I'd been living like this that this same situation has come up. It's the story of my adult life. Meet a guy who's only going to be around for a few days or weeks, get chummy, then get propositioned.

  I'm not gonna lie. I took a couple of them up on their short-term offers over the years. But I wanted a relationship, dammit. But then again, did I really want to give up being able to wonder around on my own terms? I go where I want, when I want, and the only thing I have to consult is my checking account.

  Mountains, beach, valley, desert, warm, cold, snow, sun, whatever I'm in the mood for, I head for. A week, a month, maybe two, sometimes for just a couple nights, depends on what I want to see. Goldie and I have a goal to at least hike a bit in every national park in the contiguous forty-eight states.

  If I had a husband,
I'd have to give up some of that flexibility. Not to mention that the vast majority of the guys I meet don't RV full time. Which means I'd lose that flexibility altogether.

  Ugh.

  I flopped on the couch and turned on the satellite, flipping through the channels.

  I finally settled on a rerun of a reality show called Walk of Shame. I watched as the starring girl went out on dates with all these handsome men. She was down to the last four, all proclaiming to have feelings for her, all having families that just loved her. Her own family on camera, trying to help her decide which one of the four she was going to send packing at the end of the show.

  I watched as she cried to the host about how they were all great guys and she didn't know which one she should get rid of.

  "Um, chickie," I called out to the TV, "ditch the mortician. You're a pediatrician. Someone along the way will sue you for trying to drive business towards the mortician hubby the minute you can't save their kid. Plus, I mean really, when he comes home after touching and preparing dead people all day, do you really want him touching you? It's a little creepy."

  Personally, I thought she should go for the dude who used to be a circus clown. He could totally dress up and come entertain the kids in her waiting room on busy days. That guy had just earned his degree to work with imprisoned youths. I'd totally give him a job, if I could. I'd wait until Halloween, throw a movie night at the detention center and show them Stephen King's It. Then I'd send the guy in his clown suit in and scare the crap out of all of them.

  She ended up ditching the architect at the end of the show. I don't know, I thought he held a certain appeal, even if she had cringed when he showed her some of his designs while on their date. I guess she didn't want him getting any ideas about her living in one of his tiny house designs.

  But it had gotten me thinking about how if these people, who had nice, normal lives and lived in one place, couldn't find someone appropriate to date and have a lasting relationship with, then there must be no hope for me. I mean, they didn't really have an excuse, and they still couldn't do it. I was just doomed.

  They ran the ending credits and then threw up an advertisement about how if you want to be the next contestant, to go online now and fill out an application. I'd seen it a million times before. But this time had me wondering... What if I did it? What if I spent a couple months there, met some guys, and found someone? They'd have to pick guys for me that could live the lifestyle, right? And if we met while we were stationary, we could plan our travels after the show to coincide with each other, right?

  I pulled my computer onto my lap and typed in the website.

  For the record, I thought I was about to do a very stupid thing. But, I also figured that thousands of other girls were filling out the application and that nothing would ever come of it. So, I indulged my impulse and filled it out. They'd provided a box and plenty of character allowance to explain why I thought this might be my only option at finding love. I'd also driven home the fact that they'd never taken on people who had a legitimate lack of opportunity to find someone compatible to both themselves and their lifestyle.

  I quickly hit the submit button before I chickened out. And as soon as I did, I picked up my cell phone and texted my sister. 'Omg. I just did the dumbest thing, ever.'

  'What?'

  'I just applied to be on Walk of Shame.'

  'You've got to be kidding! We make fun of that show.'

  'I know.'

  '...I have no words.'

  'I know.'

  'If they pick you, are you going to do it?'

  'I don't freaking know.'

  'I think you should. It'll make great material for a book.'

  'Har. Har.' I got up to close the blinds and lock the door. It was time to head for bed.

  Chapter Two

  The Phone Call

  Two weeks after my lapse in sane judgment, I was packing up and securing my stuff in preparation to put the fifth wheel back on the road. My sister was about to go on spring break from school and I was going to pick her up at college and take her back to Mom and Dad's. I was going to park the trailer in their yard and we'd spend the week getting spoiled by Mommy.

  Chloe was going to help proofread some of my latest drafts, Mom was going to cook, and Dad was going to lecture us on the dangers awaiting young women alone at college parties and campgrounds again.

  My phone rang just as I had finished up with the kitchen area. I looked at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number. I almost ignored it, but hit the button to answer, "Hello?"

  "Hello, have I reached Miss Emmaline Jacobs?"

  The last time I was asked that in such a formal matter, it was a small publishing house interested in one of my books that I'd sent in a proposal for. My heart started beating a little faster as I got excited that I might be getting another one of those phone calls. "Yes, this is she."

  "My name is Elaine Brown, and I work with casting for Walk of Shame."

  I couldn't form words. My jaw hit the floor so hard I think I might have bruised it.

  She must be used to getting silence on these calls because she pretty much ignored it. "We received your application to be on the show, and we wondered if you'd be willing to come in and do an interview with the producers."

  "Uhhh... I guess... When were you thinking to schedule it?"

  "Next week. We'd like to get it in as soon as possible, in case things don't work out and we have to find someone else. We'd fly you in, pick you up at the airport, and put you up for two nights. We'd make sure you got home, as well."

  "Well, I guess I could move some things around... How about later in the week?"

  "We can fly you in on Wednesday and then back out on Friday, if that works for you."

  "Yes. I think I can make that work."

  "What airport would you be flying out of?" Elaine asked.

  "Philadelphia International. If you could make my departure and arrival times during commuter train hours, I'd appreciate it."

  "Sure. I'll send you an email with all the confirmations and links for you."

  "Thank you."

  "You're very welcome. Have a nice day."

  "And you as well."

  We hung up, and I stood there another few moments in total and complete shock. I seriously had no idea what I wanted to do. Throw up, maybe?

  It's a bit of a production to pull a truck with a fifth wheel through a college campus. Fortunately, it was later in the evening, after most students had left. I'd had to pull into a nearly empty parking lot across the street from her dorm.

  I'd texted Chloe about five minutes out, and sure enough, she came bouncing out of her dorm before I'd even attempted to invent a parking spot. She put down her bags and threw the door open. She started squealing and Goldie flew out to her, barking and whining her heart out.

  "Someone's ready to go home," I commented when she climbed in and tossed her laundry bag and loaded backpack behind the seat and then patted her leg so Goldie would jump back in.

  "I've been ready all afternoon. My last class of the day ended at twelve."

  "Sorry I couldn't get here any faster. But the thought of driving this in heavy traffic, on these side streets, with kids walking and gawking all over the place..."

  "It's all right. If I'd have had to wait for Dad, I'd be here another hour and a half."

  "Uh, Chloe," I said while I was negotiating my way back out of the parking lot.

  "Yeah?"

  "Someone from casting called me yesterday."

  "Casting? Casting for what?" Then her eyes grew huge. "Ohhh! You mean for the show?"

  "Yeah."

  She started laughing. "Oh, my God! They picked you!" She got to laughing so hard she was snorting.

  "It's not definite yet. They want to fly me out to Los Angeles on Wednesday, for two nights. They want to interview me."

  "Well, are they interviewing anybody else?"

  "I don't know. They just said they wanted to do it as soon as possible, in
case it doesn't work out."

  "So, are you going to do it?"

  "I don't know. I mean, it's stupid, right? We think this show is stupid."

  "Well, are they going to pick guys that live on the road, too?"

  "I don't know what their screening process is."

  "Well, go find out. Most people have others in their area they could be dating instead of looking for someone who lives in another part of the country. You don't have that luxury. If they're going to pick guys that live on the road like you do, I say go for it."

  "But cameras will be following me around all over the place."

  "They can't follow you all hours of the day... They boil an entire week down to an hour or two, minus commercials."

  "I don't know. I guess they'll leave me alone long enough to sleep, maybe. They want to catch all the highlights. I'm assuming they'll have cameras on all the time so they catch anything interesting."

  "Nah, once they get beginning shots of you doing your morning routine, maybe following you on a morning run that you and Goldie take, they'll leave you alone, unless you're with the guys or getting something from one of them."

  "And that's another thing. What am I going to do with the pooch?"

  "Easy, you either take her along, or you leave her with me. They film in the summer, right?"

  "I guess. Wait, you sound like you really watch the show."

  "I do."

  "I thought that we thought it was stupid."

  "Some of the couples from the show really get married."

  "And so you've been watching it?"

  "They have all the back episodes on YouTube. I think I'm more fascinated by it than anything else. It's like intensified speed dating, but more like speed relationships. You get a shot at working your way through a dozen relationships all at once. I think, with your lifestyle, it's worth a shot, if the guys are screened properly."

  "Wow," I said as I pulled onto the highway. "You've put thought into this."

  "Why wouldn't I? It would be super cool to brag about my big sister being on the show. Besides, you're not the only one in this family with an imagination."