Heidi? Javier padded near her. He looked at her with those beautiful eyes. This is not your fight. I must fight him myself.
“And if he shows up here armed? You said he’s a coward, so why do you think he’d give you a fair fight?”
He believes I am injured. He would not seek me out otherwise. He has been running for two years.
“You are injured.”
I am healed.
“You’re as stubborn as my damn brothers.” She shoved up from the chair and paced to the window.
“You wouldn’t sit back and let me be killed.”
A car is coming. He shoved her away from the window with his big head and peered outside.
Heidi grabbed her weapon and flipped off the safety.
It is your brothers.
Resetting the safety, she pointed the handgun down. When the doorknob rattled, she let Axel and Gunnar in.
Axel glanced at her weapon and shook his head. “Go to the den.”
Gunnar shut and relocked the door as she glared at her oldest brother.
“No.”
“Go!” He pointed down the hallway.
“Fuck you, Axel. I’m not leaving Javier’s side.”
Both her brothers stared at the weapon, obviously trying to decide if they wanted to disarm her or not.
“Don’t even think about it,” she said between gritted teeth. “You know I know how to use it, and if you think—” He is here.
Heidi’s gut tightened, and cold prickles popped out on her skin.
Open the door for me.
“No.” She jumped in front of the solid wooden door, spreading her feet in a shooter’s stance, the
.357 held between both hands, pointed at the ceiling. She’d take care of the killer. She had the gun.
She knew where to shoot to kill, and she had the skill to do it. “You’re not going to do this Javier.”
Chata...
Tears burned her eyes. “Does it matter how it ends as long as it ends?”
“Sis,” Axel said softly, holding his hand out to her. “He is alpha. Don’t make him fight you for his right to avenge the death of his family. You know I would do the same, and so would our dads and each of our brothers. It is our way.”
Her gut told her not to move. Nothing good could come of this. Fear burned her throat and eyes and made her stomach tumble with nausea. “It’s not my way,” she said desperately, but she stepped away from the door and lowered her hands to her sides, the revolver loose in her grip. Gunnar took it from her.
Javier touched her hand with his muzzle and licked her palm.
Footsteps on the porch. A knock.
Axel pushed Heidi behind him, and Gunnar took a defensive position next to the door, flicking off the revolver’s safety before reaching for the doorknob.
“I love you,” Heidi whispered, but she didn’t know if Javier heard, because just then, a deep voice, foreign and snide, came through the door.
“I tire of this cat and mouse game. Montero! I know you’re in there. I never took you for a coward to hide behind a female...or another cat’s tail. Have you turned beta, old friend?”
Javier lunged toward the locked door with a roar the likes of which her brothers could not produce in their catamount form. In the blink of an eye, Gunnar opened the door, and Javier shouted telepathically, I am not your friend, pendejo.
“Then come out here and face me. It’s what you’ve wanted is it not, ever since the day I put your stupid brother and his bitch out of their misery? You know the cartels gave me a reward for the death of your brother? He’d been a thorn in their side for far too long. And to think, all of this could’ve been avoided had he merely accepted their money.”
Oh, God, Heidi thought as she watched for the impact of the man’s words on the jaguar. Javier stood so still, almost frozen in place, but his claws were out and his ears back. She wanted to run to him, to wrap him in her arms and make the pain go away. She wanted to scream at the bastard to shut up.
She took a step toward Javier.
Heidi, don’t. Axel’s words, whispered in her mind, stopped her in her tracks. Don’t disgrace him.
He must do this alone.
With tears welling, she remained behind as the jaguar stepped through the doorway. The man outside laughed as Javier limped out onto the porch.
Had he reinjured himself?
Alarmed, Heidi shoved Axel out of her way in time to see the stranger shift into the form of a big-pawed snow leopard. The most horrendous cat scream she’d ever heard chilled her blood, making all the hair on her arms stand on end.
Stay out of this, the snow leopard told them with a vicious snarl.
“Your fight with him is no concern of ours,” Axel called out.
Javier took that chance to leap at the snow leopard, showing no signs of weakness in his hind leg this time, but Durchenko reacted quickly with a swipe of massive claws at Javier’s side. When she would have rushed out onto the porch, Axel wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pinning her to his chest. “No, Heidi.”
The snow leopard made horrible sounds while Javier growled and roared, the battle more vicious than any she’d witnessed between her brothers over the years. The two cats snapped and bit, their long fangs ripping into each other. They gouged with claws, the snow leopard aiming repeatedly for the jaguar’s weakness, his hind leg. They moved so fast, so furiously, if not for the drastic difference in their coloring, she would never be able to tell them apart.
A sob ripped from her soul when Javier cried out in pain as the leopard gripped his right foreleg with sharp teeth.
And then, if by some unseen force, the two cats flew apart. The leopard turned on its heels and dashed into the undergrowth at the side of the house. Javier sprinted after him, and they both disappeared.
Heidi jerked away from Axel and ran outside onto the porch, but they were gone. She couldn’t even hear them in the woods. Turning back to her brothers, she said frantically, “Go after them. Please.
Help Javier.”
Both brothers shook their heads.
“It’s his fight alone, Heidi,” Gunnar said.
“Go after them. Please,” she begged, grabbing the front of his shirt as tears dripped down her cheeks. “Make sure he’s okay.”
Gunnar wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug she tried to fight. “Shh, sis.”
The tears came, and she slumped against her brother.
* * *
Javier was right behind the bastard as they wound through the undergrowth, heading deeper into the forest. He would not get away, not this time.
His memory returned in a rush, and he knew why he’d been in the woods to be shot by Heidi’s friend. He’d been chasing Durchenko. Just like this.
He ignored the pain radiating from his injured foreleg. Durchenko had tried crushing it between his teeth. Though he hadn’t succeeded in disabling him, it hurt like hell and was obviously fractured. His hind leg ached from the strain he put on the limb so soon after the shooting. But Durchenko must’ve realized Javier wasn’t as weak as he might’ve appeared at first, because the bastard darted when the fight had just begun.
The snow leopard was much smaller, so it was easier for Durchenko to maneuver under and around fallen trees, boulders and the thick underbrush. But Javier was determined, and just as they reached a small clearing, he made the leap and landed on the leopard’s back, digging his teeth into the back of Durchenko’s neck.
The smaller cat collapsed onto the ground and practically somersaulted tail over head, knocking Javier loose. In a flash, he switched direction, grabbing Javier under the chin with his teeth at the same time, scoring his underbelly with sharp claws from both hind feet.
Using his front claws, Javier gouged at Durchenko’s face and neck and sides, shredding skin and fur, fighting for his life. The leopard had his windpipe, and he felt blood pouring from his stomach.
A picture of his brother, disemboweled on their bedroom floor, came to his mind, a
nd the anger that surged through him gave him enough strength to throw himself to the side. The leopard screamed in pain as Javier dug his claws into the bastard’s belly, and with his last bit of strength, Javier tore out Durchenko’s throat with his teeth.
The leopard jerked once, twice, then lay still.
Javier tried to stand up, but he had no strength left. He looked down at himself, saw the wounds, but he seemed to be intact. He had a hard time drawing breath, and he collapsed to his side. Durchenko was dead. He’d succeeded.
The world around him grew dim as darkness closed in from his periphery.
When he closed his eyes, Heidi’s face was all he saw. Her sweet smile. Her stubborn little chin.
That cute pug nose. And he heard once again the soft declaration of, “I love you,” she’d whispered just before he left her house to fight his enemy.
He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs burned.
Pain pierced his chest and stomach. He couldn’t draw air.
And then, there was no more pain.
Chapter Fourteen
Heidi picked up her jacket from the hook behind her office door and headed through the clinic. She found Beth in one of the exam rooms, sterilizing the table.
“Hey,” she said, leaning against the doorjamb. “There’s only two other appointments today. Do you think you can handle them?”
Beth looked up at her and nodded. “Sure. You okay?”
No, Heidi wasn’t okay. She’d never be okay again, but she couldn’t tell her family that.
“You don’t look it,” Beth observed. “You want to talk?”
Heidi swallowed hard and shook her head. What was there to talk about? The love of her life was gone. “I just need the afternoon to myself. I’ll...” Her throat closed up, as it did so often lately. She sighed. “You’ll handle dinner tonight? I’m not sure I’ll be home.”
“Where are you going?”
“Just...out. Away.” She shrugged. “I need some time to think.”
A frown wrinkled Beth’s brow. “Maybe you shouldn’t be alone right now. Why don’t...” She grinned, obviously thinking she’d come up with a brilliant idea. “What if you and I go to Seattle this weekend? Girls’ weekend away. We can shop and stay in a nice hotel and drink all the mojitos we can get our hands on. That should get your mind off...things.”
Heidi’s first inclination was to decline the invitation, but then she shrugged. “Sure. What the hell. I haven’t been stinking drunk in a while.”
“That’s the spirit.”
“It’s not like I’m suicidal or anything. I just need to get away for a couple of hours.” Right now, before she burst into tears in the clinic. Tears and her job did not mix. “We can start planning that Seattle trip in the morning.”
“Cool. Be careful. And yes, I’ll take care of dinner.”
“Thanks.” Heidi went to the lobby. “Mrs. Blake, Beth’s going to handle the rest of the appointments today. I need some personal time.”
Mrs. Blake nodded and gave her a pitying look. Even though the woman didn’t know what had gone on, she must have felt the undercurrent of Heidi’s sadness. For the last few days she’d been bringing Heidi homemade comfort food each morning. Cinnamon rolls, coffee cake and today for lunch, a whole casserole dish of macaroni and cheese.
“I...uh...appreciate your kindness these past few days. I promise I’ll be back to my old cheerful self soon.”
“I haven’t seen you like this since your mother died. You know I’m here for you, dear, if you need someone to listen.”
The tears blurred her vision then, and all she could do was nod and whisper, “Thank you,” as she headed out the door.
Outside was yet another reminder that Javier was gone and not returning. His black Jag sat right where he’d parked it when he’d come to the clinic a week earlier, pissed off she’d left his hotel room without saying goodbye.
If only she hadn’t wasted that chance. If only he hadn’t come to the clinic. If only...
She fired up her Land Rover. It was a cool, foggy day, more like fall than late summer. Heavy rain for two nights had saturated the forest with much-needed water, and Heidi had only one place she wanted to go. The place that she’d shared with only one person, ever.
The drive into the forest didn’t take long, and soon she was out of the car and climbing the steep incline to her property. The air was thick with moisture and silent, as if the fog held all sound at bay except the crunch of dead leaves and twigs under her feet, the scratch of branches against her nylon jacket or jeans.
Breathing hard, her lungs burning from the quick climb, she burst into the clearing and ran toward the lone cedar tree in the center, only to stop short just twenty feet from the ancient sentinel.
“No,” she said, panting. She put her hands on her knees and bent forward, trying to catch her breath.
But when she looked up again, it was still there, and fury cut through her hard and fast.
Someone had been camping in her space, her private domain. An old army tent was erected under the branches of the cedar, a small fire pit with a crudely fashioned spit over it not far outside the door.
“Hey,” she shouted as she approached the little camp. “Anyone in there? You’re on private property.”
The fire pit was cold, the ashes damp when she reached her hand over to check how long it had been out. She flipped one side of the tent door to the side and peered in.
Empty, except for a pair of jeans and a faded flannel shirt. Not even a sleeping bag.
Had someone come here, camped and left his tent? It had the musty smell of a little used canvas that has been in storage.
Bastards. This was her spot, and it had been violated. She stood and started untying the stays to dismantle the tent. Tomorrow she’d pick up a whole pile of No Trespassing signs and put them on every tree at her property lines. And ten on this tree. Her spot. No one else’s.
Hot tears trickled down her cheeks as she fought with the damn ties until frustration got the best of her and she screamed.
And then she screamed again, grabbing the tent and shaking it.
The third scream ended on a hoarse sob, and she collapsed to the damp grass in a heap.
Heidi never knew this kind of emptiness existed. She’d known loneliness, especially since her brothers began finding mates, but never had she experienced the icy desolation that had invaded her soul since Javier disappeared. And the day after he’d run off into the woods, she’d had another blow.
Her period had come. That one night with him she’d prayed had made a baby, had not.
No Javier. No child. Just her, alone. Forever.
A full day and a half went by with no word from Javier before Axel would let her go after him. Her brother had literally stood guard over her and their fathers’ house, keeping her inside and any dangers out. Finally, he’d agreed she could go if Gunnar, in his catamount form, accompanied her. Gunnar’s sense of smell was strong enough to pick up the other cats’ scents and follow them for a while.
But for some unknown reason, even her brother, an expert tracker, couldn’t pick up the trail after it went cold. She’d pleaded with him, and so they’d trekked miles and miles into the forest, Gunnar quartering the land, but not once did he get another hint of Javier or the snow leopard.
She tried to convince herself that no sign was a good sign. If he lay dead somewhere, surely they would’ve found something.
But deep in her heart, she knew...
If he didn’t return for his car and few belongings, which he hadn’t, he was gone forever.
Heidi let the sorrow and pain flow through her as she buried her face in the crook of her arm and sobbed. She’d tried to be strong. Tried to tell herself she hadn’t known him long enough to be this hurt by his disappearance. But it didn’t help. All hope of a future, of happiness, was gone with him.
Her fathers wanted to help her, but admitted they were at a loss. Only time could heal the wounds left by the loss of
someone she loved, they’d told her.
Time was all she had.
Time devoid of... Just devoid. Empty.
“Oh, God,” she cried and hugged herself. It had been so much better to believe there was no one anywhere for her. That if she wanted to find any contentment, she’d have to settle for a normal man.
But then a beautiful shifter came into her life and ruined all hope for any kind of happiness.
Finally the tears dried, and Heidi fell into an exhausted sleep.
Chata...
Heidi whimpered and clung tighter to herself. She heard Javier’s whispered endearment so often in her sleep.
Chata, you must get inside the tent. It is about to rain.
Something cold and wet touched her cheek, and she jerked in surprise, her eyes opening in alarm.
Standing over her was a massive black jaguar, his face inches from hers, his warm breath against her cheek.
Slowly, she raised her hand and touched his long whiskers. His lip twitched, and he shook his head slightly.
That tickles.
“Javier.”
You have been crying.
She sat up, unwilling to look away from his amber eyes, afraid he’d disappear if she did. “Please tell me I’m not dreaming. Tell me you’re really here.”
I am here.
She buried her fingers into the thick fur at his scruff and pressed her forehead against his. “You’re alive,” she whispered, her heart beating so fast it felt like hummingbird wings in her chest. Her tears returned. “You’re alive.”
I am. He nuzzled her neck with his cold nose.
“You’re alive.” Elation turned to fury. She jerked back, still gripping his fur in her fingers. “You son of a bitch, I thought you were dead. You’ve been here the whole time?”
His only reaction to her explosion of temper was to sit on his haunches and utter a calm admission of guilt. Most of the time I have been here.
“What’s that mean? Answer me,” she demanded when he didn’t speak. But then she spotted the patch of missing fur from his neck, and she shoved his muzzle to the side to get a closer look. Healed wounds on both sides of his throat. Kneeling, she moved down his body, finding more scars, including the bullet wound she’d patched up.
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