Can't Go Back

by Marie Meyer

  Adam silenced the cymbal, then raised his middle finger. “I’m not Rick Allen.”

  “Ain’t that the truth,” I mumbled, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

  “You got a problem with me, Griff?” Adam shouted, smashing the cymbal and standing up.

  Lifting my gaze from my phone to Adam, I refused to react to his temper tantrum.

  “Leo Dane offers you a contract and all of a sudden you’re some fucking rock ’n’ roll god? Things are always good in Griffin’s world, huh?” he shouted, walking to stand right in front of me.

  “Excuse me?” I stood, glaring down at him. Once again my size came in handy. “I don’t recall accepting Dane’s offer. As a matter of fact, he wouldn’t have made me a fucking offer if you hadn’t decided to act like a dumbshit. This”—I gestured around the room, shoving my chest into his—“is all because you are a fucking idiot.” If he knew what was good for him, he’d back the hell off.

  “Whoa, boys!” Bax yelled, pushing between us. “Not in my bar. Griffin, take a walk. Adam, sit down.”

  I backed away and turned toward the door. Rounding the corner, I bumped into Thor, clipping his shoulder with mine.

  “Dude? Where are you going?” he called after me.

  “I need some air.” I marched down the hall, not bothering to look back. Throwing the back door open, I kicked it wider with my foot. It flew against the brick wall outside and recoiled, almost snapping shut in my face. Catching it, I pushed it open again and stepped through.

  Walking over to the side of the building, I pressed my back against the sun-scorched brick and looked skyward. Adam had no right to be pissed at me. I was not the one who had put Mine Shaft’s future in jeopardy. I was so tired of his goddamned jealousy.

  “Hey, man. Is there a band audition happening here?”

  I turned my head in the direction of the screechy voice. A pimply-faced boy smiled at me, tapping sticks against his leg.

  I sized him up. “How old are you?”

  “Sixteen. Just got my driver’s license yesterday.” He grinned, flashing a mouth full of metal.

  I shoved off the wall, rising to my full height, towering over the newly pubescent teen. “You play the drums?”

  “Yeah.” He held up his sticks and smiled wider. “My parents hate when I practice. I thought if I got a real gig, they’d take my music seriously. And it would totally increase my chances of scoring a hottie for the homecoming dance.”

  “Right,” I grumbled. “Come on, auditions are inside.”

  The kid followed me to the audition room.

  “Here’s our first tryout, boys.” I turned around and looked at him. “What’s your name?”

  “Derek,” he replied.

  Thor nodded. “Hey, Derek.”

  “Let’s see what you got.” Adam rounded the drum set and came to sit at the table with Thor and me.

  “Cool.” Derek lumbered to the drum set, taking up residence on the throne. “Uh, is there anything you want to hear?” His voice cracked.

  Thor let out a low, irritated breath and sat up in his seat. “Play whatever you want. Just play something.”

  “Yeah. Uh-huh. OK,” he said, nodding like an idiot. For a long minute, he fiddled with the cymbals, adjusting their heights and angles. When he seemed comfortable with the setup in front of him, he looked over at us and smiled. “This is one of my favorite beats,” he offered as a precursor.

  Derek tapped out a simple 5/4 pattern on the snare and toms, but struggled to keep the fifth beat steady with each repeat of the cadence. I looked to Adam, wondering if it was me or if he’d picked up on the kid’s terrible sense of rhythm. Adam’s face pulled together and his head nodded in time with the beat, trying to help the kid out with the bob of his head.

  Over the years I’d become attuned to the drummer. As a bassist I relied on the steady beat to be the backbone to my bass rhythms. Watching Derek attempt to rock out on Adam’s high hats and throw a stick into the crash cymbal every now and then was painful. The only thing that made this audition worthwhile was that I was calling it over.

  I held my hand high and shouted, “Thanks, Derek. That’s good.” I waited another beat and Derek kept on playing, oblivious to my voice. “Derek,” I called louder. “That’s enough!”

  Derek plowed his stick through the crash cymbal and looked up. Sweat dripped down the sides of his face and his shoulders moved up and down from exertion. “Wow,” he breathed, a metallic grin spreading across his face. “That was awesome.”

  Adam typed something on his iPad, not bothering to look up. “Thanks, Derek. You have a number we can reach you at? In case we need to get in touch with you?”

  I sat back down beside Thor just as Derek got up and walked over to the table. “Uh, yeah.” Derek set his sticks on the table and reached into his back pocket. Removing his wallet, he pulled a business card free and tossed it on the table.

  Thor picked up the card and smirked, handing it over to me. “Derek’s Drums” was printed across the top of store-bought perforated card stock. Along with his contact information, his homemade business card also sported a cartoon clip art image of a drum kit. Holding the card between my index and middle fingers, I passed it to Adam so he could type Derek’s number into the iPad.

  “Thanks, man,” Adam said, holding the card back for him to take.

  Derek waved his hands in protest. “You keep it. I’ve got tons.” He smiled and picked up his sticks. “When do you think you’ll make your decision?”

  I shrugged. “Probably within the next day or two.” Leo’s voice popped into my head: Forty-eight hours. If every audition was as promising as Derek’s, we were in some serious shit. Mine Shaft would never see the light of day.

  “Cool.” Derek saluted with his sticks and said, “Talk to you soon.” As he headed for the door, the next starry-eyed teenager strutted into the room.

  “Fuck me,” Thor mumbled under his breath.

  * * *

  For three hours Adam, Thor, and I listened to a dozen and a half mediocre-to-downright-terrible drummers. By hour four Pauly had gotten off of work and joined us for another round of torture.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said, standing up. “I’m gonna hit the head.”

  As I was on my way out the door, a petite redhead passed by me and entered the audition room. Her height reminded me of Jillian and for a second, I thought about turning around and heading back in there. If I knew my bandmates, she’d need some protection. They’d be all over her like cheap cologne. But I really needed to hit the john.

  Taking large strides down the hall, I made it to the restroom and finished up quickly. By the time I returned to the audition room, the guys were circled around the poor girl like a pack of horny wolves.

  “Why don’t you give the lady some room?” I spoke loudly, walking over to their meet-and-greet circle.

  “Thanks, man,” the redhead said, acknowledging me with a nod. “But I can handle these douchebags.”

  I laughed, having not expected her bold comment. “It sounds like it.”

  “Griff,” Adam said, “this is Stephanie.” A dopey grin was plastered over his face.

  I offered my hand and Stephanie smiled, shaking it. “Nice to meet you, Griff. It’s Nee.” She looked to Adam, stressing her nickname.

  “Likewise, Nee,” I said. I already liked this chick.

  She let go of my hand, clapping hers together. “Well, guys, as much as I love all this cozy get-to-know-you slumber party shit, I’m here for a drum audition.” Laying her hands on Thor’s and Pauly’s shoulders, she pushed them to the sides and made her way to the drum set.

  Speechless, the four of us watched as the diminutive but hard-as-nails pixie sauntered her way to the throne.

  Sitting down, she tinkered with the height of the seat and made some minor adjustments to the toms and cymbals.

  “Holy shit. I’m in love,” Adam muttered.

  “Uh-huh,” Pauly added, wistfully.

 
Shaking my head, I went to sit down. “You two are idiots.” Thor followed me, but Pauly and Adam didn’t move. They watched in awe, as if she were performing the best striptease they’d ever seen. “Guys, come on.” I waved them over, irritated by their unprofessionalism.

  As Pauly and Adam walked to the table, Nee didn’t wait for a go-ahead from us, but instead ripped into a groove.

  Owning the kit, she played hard. She knew her way around a drum set—a rock goddess sitting upon her throne. “Damn,” I whispered to Thor.

  “No shit. This chick is hard-core.” Thor reached for the iPad, adding her name to our list.

  For ten minutes Nee disappeared into her own world, rocking out a gorgeous beat. My fingers itched to pick up my bass and jam with her. She was seriously talented. Better than Adam, but I’d never tell him. By the time she finished, her skin glistened with a layer of sweat. Watching the way Pauly and Adam eyed her, I worried they might try to lick her.

  Nee stood and walked over to us. I followed her lead, as did Thor and the two dumbasses. We met in front of the table. Adam regarded her the way a toddler would a lollipop and Pauly blurted, “Marry me.”

  Chuckling, Nee said, “I’m pretty sure my boyfriend would have a problem with that. But you’re free to ask him.”

  “What’s his number? I’ll call him now,” Adam challenged.

  Nee pulled out her phone, made a few quick swipes across the screen, and handed it over to Adam. He studied the screen and looked back at Nee. “Your boyfriend is Keshawn Fischer? The MMA fighter Keshawn Fischer?”

  “Yep.” She nodded. “Want me to dial?”

  Adam grinned and handed her phone back. The spell she’d held over him was broken. Thankfully, he knew when to back off. “He’s a hell of a fighter.”

  “Yeah. He’s pretty kick-ass.” She grinned, glancing at the picture on her phone. “He’s actually part of the reason I’m here,” she continued. “There’s a UFC training facility in Vegas. Keshawn wants to train there, so we’re saving up as much as we can and heading for Vegas right before the New Year. I’m only looking for a part-time gig.”

  Was this girl for real? She looked the part, she was uber-talented, and she only needed a part-time gig? I was convinced she was an angel sent to rescue Mine Shaft from record label purgatory.

  “Give us a minute?” I asked, motioning for the guys to join me in the hall.

  “Sure.” She nodded her approval and walked around the table, sitting down in Thor’s vacated seat. She propped her feet on the table and leaned back in the chair, making herself comfortable.

  The four of us walked into the hallway to make our deliberation seem more legit, even though I was sure everyone was on the same page. We’d found Adam’s replacement.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Yes, everything’s squared away.” I shoved a hand through my hair, feeling nervous. I didn’t usually get nervous, but since everyone was ready to climb into bed with Amphion Productions, there wasn’t much left to do but seal the deal with Leo and sign the contract. I think my nerves were warranted.

  Everything was falling into place. Nee had practiced with us for about a week and a half and was un-fucking-believable. The girl oozed talent. And while we pulled all-nighters, bringing Nee up to speed, my dad’s lawyer friend looked over our contract.

  It was time for Mine Shaft to move up to the big leagues.

  “Great,” Leo said over the speaker. “Let’s meet at the studio in an hour. We’ll get the technicalities finalized and you guys into the studio for a pre-prod session. I want to get a track sheet started.”

  “Cool.” Pauly passed a coin over and under the knuckles of his right hand, something he did when he had a lot of nervous energy to let off. I was glad to see I wasn’t the only one affected by this decision.

  Nee cleared her throat. “Excuse me?” she corrected, her hands on her hips.

  We all stared at Nee. In the short time we’d worked with her, we’d learned she didn’t take shit off of anyone, and she didn’t mince words. She was a straight shooter, not afraid to give someone a piece of her mind. Each one of us had been on the receiving end of one of Nee’s verbal lashings.

  Adam was still completely lovestruck. Even the promise of a beating from Keshawn Fischer didn’t deter him from professing his undying love every time the girl played cross-rhythms and triplets in different time signatures.

  Once Pauly learned of Nee’s relationship status, he wasn’t so enthusiastic about getting into her pants, but he still liked to rile her up. They got along like long-lost siblings. And then there was Thor. Thor’s reaction to Nee surprised me the most. Typically he’d have been all over her, boyfriend or not—that never stopped him from a potential hookup. And Nee was definitely his type: tiny, curvy, and heavy on top. I knew he was still talking to that Harper chick, but I had yet to meet her. His disinterest in Nee meant that Harper was something special, and that was huge for Thor because he didn’t do relationships.

  Nee smacked her palms on the table and brought me back to the present. She leaned in close to the phone’s speaker. “This band isn’t just penises anymore, dude. At least until Drummer Dumbass is healed.”

  “Ah yes, thank you, Nee. And lady,” he revised.

  Smiles went around the table. “That’s what I thought,” Nee laughed. “I may not be a permanent fixture, but while I’m on that throne, you’re going to know it.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Leo said.

  “See you in a few, Leo,” I replied, ready to get things moving.

  “Nice to have you aboard…gentlemen.”

  The way he said “gentlemen” didn’t possess any of his usual “all business” intonation. He almost sounded playful. And again, he’d neglected to include our saucy dash of estrogen.

  Nee cocked her head. “Dude!” she yelled.

  “Nee, you’re going to be so much fun to work with.” He laughed this time. “I’m just shitting you.”

  “Bring it, mister,” Nee challenged. She pounded her fist into the palm of her hand, but the smile on her face made her appear less intimidating.

  Still laughing, Leo said, “See you soon, Nee,” then ended the call.

  “Well, gentlemen,” Thor said, staring right at Nee, smirking, “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to sign a fucking recording contract.” His hand hit the table and a round of whoops hit the air.

  Nee moved her index finger back and forth in front of her face as she said, “Thor, Thor, Thor.” She sauntered around the table, swinging her hips seductively. Damn, is this chick for real? They did not grow women like her in the Midwest.

  Stretching onto her tiptoes, she looped her arm around Thor’s neck. Despite their significant height difference (which reminded me of the way Jillian and I looked standing side by side) Nee sidled up close to him, pouting her lips. She crooked a finger and batted her black lashes, beckoning him closer.

  Thor complied warily, unsure of what she was about to do. He leaned in.

  In a breathy, come-hither whisper we could all hear, she put her mouth to his ear, licking her lips. “I’ve got more balls than any of you douchebags, combined. Don’t forget it.” She dropped her arm from around his neck and smacked his ass. “All right, ladies,” she said, with too much enthusiasm. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  The look of shock on Thor’s face was laughable. I didn’t doubt that Nee had some serious mucho grande cojones. She was a force to be reckoned with and a breath of fresh air for Mine Shaft. She’d only been with us for a little longer than a week and I was already going to miss her when she decided to pack up and move to Vegas.

  “Damn, Nee,” Adam said, “I’ve never been so turned on and insulted at the same time.”

  “No shit,” Thor grunted, grabbing his phone off the table. He reached for the doorknob and pulled it open. “Ladies first,” he said, ushering Nee through the doorway.

  “Now you’re getting it.” She smiled up at him and winked.

  If anything, Nee’s pre
sence was about to make Mine Shaft a hell of a lot more interesting.

  Chapter Fourteen

  After all the paperwork was signed, and we were officially under Amphion’s wing, Leo set us up with the studio engineer to get our track sheet started. We had been playing for almost two hours when Leo stepped back into the recording room. He held up his hand, a gesture meant to silence us.

  I laid a hand across the strings and Thor followed suit. Mid-strike, Nee opted for flipping her stick instead of making contact with the tom. She caught it cleanly and gave Leo her full attention just as Pauly let up off the keys.

  “That’s it for today, everyone. Luis has enough to work with.” Leo smiled. “We’re working on the track sheet this weekend. Next week I want Nee and Griffin in studio. We’ll be putting your tracks down first.” Turning toward us, Leo pointed his finger at Nee and then me, raising his eyebrow like a stern father. “Be prepared to put in a full day’s work. Six…maybe eight hours each day.”

  Shit. Where does that leave time for school? I’d skipped class that day because signing a recording contract was a pretty big deal, but skipping indefinitely was going to be an issue. Rock star and college student didn’t make great bedfellows.

  I lowered my bass, careful not to hit the mic in front of me. There had to be some sort of backup plan when the musicians were also going to school. “Is it possible to record around our work and school schedules?” I asked, not just for me, but for everyone.

  Leo shook his head. “Sorry, man. This is your first priority. You’re in the big leagues now. Everything else will have to fit in around the band’s commitments.”

  I nodded. “Got it.” He was right. I was a professional musician now. This was my career, not a hobby. Whatever plans my parents had for me would have to wait. But how to break the news to them?

  Leo clapped his hands together. “Go on, get out of here. See you two on Monday.” Again he pointed to Nee and me.

  “You got it, boss man.” Nee played through the pass that had been cut off earlier and struck the crash hard.