by Sarah Bailey
“I have a boyfriend.”
I peeked up at my brother, who’s grin got wide.
“You do?”
I nodded.
“That’s amazing, Mer. I’m so happy for you.” Then his face fell. “But why didn’t you want to tell me?”
And that was the kicker. I stuffed more food in my mouth to save me from answering straight away. How did I tell Jonah I’d broken the promise I made to him and dated Cole anyway? All the guilt built up inside me, making me feel awful. It was time to face the music and deal with the consequences of my actions. Swallowing hard, I looked down at my plate.
“I broke my promise,” I told him in a small voice.
Jonah said nothing for a long moment. I didn’t dare look up at him. I couldn’t face his disappointment in me.
“Meredith…”
“I’m sorry, J, you have no idea how sorry I am about keeping this from you and lying and breaking my promise, but… but he’s good to me. He’s good for me and… and I think I’m falling in love with him so please don’t hate me for all of this. Cole makes me happy. Please forgive me.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I held them back. My heart tightened in my chest at what I’d admitted. I was falling in love with Cole. How could I not? He was everything I ever wanted. He’d broken down all my walls and barriers, showing me what it meant to be cared for and appreciated.
“I’m not upset.”
I peered up at my brother, wondering if I’d heard him right. His expression was grim, but his eyes betrayed his understanding.
“Do you know about his family?”
I blinked. What did Cole’s family have to do with my relationship with him?
“What do you mean?”
“They’re dangerous, Mer, that’s why I told you not to go near him. I don’t want you getting mixed up in it.”
Why on earth would his family be dangerous? They weren’t mixed up in anything nefarious, were they? That didn’t make any sense. They’d all been so nice. Cole hadn’t said anything to me about me being any danger. Then again, what did I really know about his family other than what he and Raphi had revealed to me?
“Dangerous how?”
Jonah shook his head, looking away as he fiddled with his pasta.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Hold on, that’s not fair, J. You can’t tell me Cole’s family is dangerous and then not say how.”
He stuck some food in his mouth and chewed. I waited, wondering if he would say anything or not. When he swallowed, he put his fork down and stared at his plate.
“All I’m going to tell you is you need to look up the name Frank Russo.”
I frowned.
“Why?”
“Their mother is… was his daughter.”
“But I’ve met Ash’s father, his name is Viktor.”
Jonah shook his head.
“She didn’t meet her biological father until she was twenty-one. Just look up the name, Mer. I shouldn’t really be saying this to you in the first place, but I’m worried… that family… they’re…”
I didn’t understand Jonah’s problem with them. Yes, he had an issue with Raphi, but why did his grudge extend to his entire family?
“They’re what, Jonah? Whatever it is you think you can’t tell me, it’s clearly in the past. What matters to me is Cole, not his family.” I let out a breath, not really wanting to bring this up, but knowing I had to. “You’ve never told me why you and Raphi fell out other than the fact you liked him and he rejected you. Is this about that?”
Jonah’s eyes darted to mine again and the anger in them startled me.
“No, it has nothing to do with Raphael.”
I dropped my fork and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Yes, it does. You’ve never been the same since. What did he do to you?”
“I can’t tell you.”
He said the same thing every time. I’d got sick of it. Either he told me what happened or I’d have to go to Raphi. I was tired of being in the middle of this.
“For fuck’s sake, J, whatever happened you need to let it go. I’m done with this and I won’t let you sabotage my relationship with Cole because of your grudge against Raphi.”
I hadn’t meant to say it, but my frustration had bubbled over. Jonah’s eyes widened and his expression turned contrite.
“I don’t want to sabotage your relationship… but I don’t want you to be with him either.”
“You don’t even know Cole, how can you say that?”
“I don’t want you getting hurt, Mer.”
“He’s not going to hurt me. Cole isn’t his family and you’d know that if you hadn’t forced me into making a promise I couldn’t keep.”
Jonah’s expression turned dark.
“Did you forget he’s only sixteen? You seemed to be very worried about that when you last spoke to me.”
“Things change, Jonah. I gave him a chance to prove to me he was worth my time and he did.”
This was going so horribly wrong. I didn’t like fighting with my brother, but he was being incredibly unreasonable right now. He had no right to dictate to me who I could and couldn’t date. He wasn’t our father and I was an adult.
A sharp stabbing pain erupted at that thought.
Dad.
I missed him so damn much. If he was here, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Dad would have liked Cole.
Jonah rose from the table after chucking his fork on his plate. He stalked from the room, leaving me staring after him. I didn’t know if I should go after him and continue to have this out or not, but he came back a minute later with his tablet. He sat down, fiddled with it and then placed it on the table in front of me.
“Read it.”
“Why should I?” I shot back, annoyed by this whole discussion.
“You might begin to understand why I don’t want you involved with that family.”
“Who’d have thought you would be so judgemental.”
He sighed and pointed at the tablet.
“Please. For me.”
I placed my fork down and picked the tablet up, scanning the text. It was an article about the London crime boss, Frank Russo and his rule over the city. The more I read about the man, the more my mind whirled with questions about Cole’s family. There were descriptions of how people disappeared after working with him. How his business was a front for drugs and illicit dealings. And his ultimate demise, which the tabloids had branded ‘The Massacre at Instinct Investments’.
“Who… who killed him?” I asked, my voice shaking as I noted his killers had never been found.
“I think you know.”
I shook my head, placing the tablet down. I felt sick. His family had seemed so nice and yet they’d been involved in some nefarious shit.
“How do you know about this?”
“Raphael.”
My hand raised to my mouth, holding back bile rising in my throat. Did Cole know what his family had done? Were they still involved in all this shit? Would I be in danger by being Cole’s girlfriend?
I stood up, realising the only way I’d get answers was by going straight to the source.
“I… I need to talk to Cole.”
“Meredith…”
“No, you’ve done enough. This… this is between me and Cole. It’s my decision whether or not I’m with him, okay? It’s not yours.”
I started to walk away, but he reached out and stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“I’m sorry you had to find out like this, please believe me when I tell you I never wanted you to know. I never wanted to do this, but I mean it, I don’t want you around them. You don’t need to be wrapped in that.”
I looked down at him.
“I understand your concerns, but this isn’t to do with that and you know it. It’s to do with your shit with Raphi. If you don’t want to tell me, then fine, but don’t pretend th
is is anything else other than that.”
I ripped my arm away and stalked out of the room. A minute later, I slumped down on the stairs, holding onto the bannister as I tried not to hurl my dinner up.
Did this mean Cole’s parents were killers? That was seriously fucked up if so.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialled Cole’s number. I couldn’t cope with this revelation. It was too much.
“I didn’t expect to hear from you this evening,” came his voice when he answered.
It made my heart ache with longing. A longing for him.
Fuck. I’m not just falling for him. I’m in love with him. I love Cole.
I didn’t have time to process that right now.
“Cole… is… is it true that your mother was raised by Frank Russo?”
The silence on the end of the line told me everything I needed to know. There was no question. My stomach roiled in protest.
“How do you know that name?” he finally said and his voice was cold. It sent a chill down my spine.
“Is it true?”
“Yes.”
“Was it them… did they do it, Cole?” I whispered.
I had to ask. It might change everything depending on how he answered.
“Meredith, this isn’t a conversation I want to have with you over the phone.”
“I need to know.”
“Then I’m coming over.”
“What?”
I didn’t know if I was prepared to see him. Not after what he’d just said.
“I’m coming over and we’re going to talk about this.”
“You can’t—”
“I’ll see you in ten minutes.”
He hung up without letting me object any further. I let my hand drop to my side, clutching my phone tightly in my fingers. How was I going to face him? What would he tell me when he got here? Was I ready for all of this? And if I wasn’t… did it mean Cole and I would be over?
I don’t know if I can handle this. Not… not when I love him.
Fuck.
I was in love with Cole Carter.
But was love enough to overlook the shit his family had done? The shit they might still be involved in.
I had no clue. None at all.
Chapter Twenty Three
I don’t know how the fuck Meredith found out about my parent’s past, but I couldn’t let her freak out over it. I had to see her. Had to explain properly. There was no fucking way I was losing the girl of my dreams over this shit. The brokenness of her tone on the phone cut me deeply. All I wanted was to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go. Kiss away any of her fears and reassure her there was nothing to be afraid of. That shit was in the past and it wouldn’t affect us. It couldn’t. I wouldn’t allow it to.
I didn’t stop to tell anyone where I was going, just rushed out of the house and jumped on the bus. It would take too long to walk. Meredith needed me there whether or not she knew it.
How the hell had she found out about it? She had no reason to go searching for that kind of information. Few people knew who my mother had been raised by these days. Who my grandmother’s husband had been. It’s not something I ever wanted Meredith to know about. I mean, fuck, it affected me enough without involving my girlfriend.
When I got to her house, I felt distress and anxiety taking over. My palms were sweaty and my heart raced at a hundred miles an hour. A sense of dread washed over me. I couldn’t let her disappear from my life. No matter what.
I rang the doorbell, tapping my foot on the step to calm my nerves, but it wasn’t working. The need to see her and make sure we got through this drove through me.
The moment she opened the door I pulled her into me, framing her face with both my hands. Those green eyes were so full of hesitation and fear. Emotions I never wanted to see in her expression ever again.
“Cole,” she breathed.
I dipped my head to hers, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. Her hands went to my arms, clutching me as if her life depended it on it. Our kiss deepened, tongues clashing together in a mess because neither one of us could resist the pull. I backed her into the house, pushing her up against the wall as the door slammed shut.
“We should talk,” I whispered, pulling away slightly.
“I need you,” she whimpered, her hands clutching my forearms tighter, keeping me close.
The agony in her voice cut me into tiny pieces. How on earth could I deny Meredith anything she wanted from me? My heart couldn’t take her expression. I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the stairs.
“Is your brother back?”
“I don’t want to talk about Jonah.”
That made me suspicious. Jonah was important to her and the two of them were very close.
“Why not?”
She didn’t respond. I looked back to find tears welling in her eyes. What the fuck happened between them?
“Meredith.”
She merely shook her head, blinking away the tears as if she didn’t want to cry at all. I took her upstairs to her room and shut the door behind both of us. She tried to reach for me, but I held her back with one hand on her shoulder.
“Cole…”
“No. You’re going to tell me what happened and then I’ll answer any questions you have about my family. That’s why I’m here.”
Meredith hung her head.
“I didn’t tell Jonah we were dating and he’s not happy about it. The thing is I told him you liked me before anything really happened between us. He made me promise not to get involved with you, then I broke that promise by agreeing to give you a chance.”
I frowned. Why on earth would her brother have a problem with the two of us? That seemed odd.
“What’s his problem with me?”
She sighed and paced away from me. I dropped my hand, knowing I should let her tell me in her own time.
“It’s not really you, he has a problem with… it’s Raphi.”
Wait, what?
“Raphi?”
She nodded, rubbing her face as she walked back and forth in front of me.
“Something happened between them when we were fifteen. Jonah won’t tell me exactly what, he merely said Raphi rejected him, but I know there’s far more to it than that. The point is he’s held a grudge against your brother ever since.”
She stopped and looked up at me, her eyes full of pain.
I had absolutely no idea something had gone on between Raphi and Jonah. I’d known he’d withdrawn into himself when he turned fifteen and I’d since assumed it’s when our parents revealed their past to him. Besides, we’d all been going through it at that time with Duke.
Raphi never really talked about relationships with me. He’d always been far closer to Duke. I wondered if he knew what went down. Perhaps not. Duke had been wrapped up in his own problems back then.
“Jonah showed me an article about Frank Russo… he said Raphi told him about your family, but I didn’t ask any further details because I wanted to talk to you. I don’t know how to feel about any of this, Cole. My brother doesn’t support me in this. He doesn’t want us together. He’s the only person in my life who really loves me, the only one who was there for me after Dad died. I can’t fall out with my brother.”
A tear fell down her cheek. The urge to brush it away drove through me, but I kept my arms at my sides. Her words filled me with apprehension. I had no idea what the outcome of our conversation would be. It’s not as if I ever wanted to come between her and her brother. The thought of that killed me. Meredith needed Jonah.
“But he can’t tell me who I can and can’t be with. He doesn’t get to dictate that. I’m an adult. I make my own decisions and I did that when I decided I wanted to try with you. Now… now I’m so confused. I don’t know what to think or say or even do.”
I reached out and took her hand, leading her over to her bed. We sat down on the edge of it. I kept a hold of her hand, anchori
ng her to me. I needed it as much as she did.
“I never wanted you to find out about my parent’s past, Meredith. They only told me last year and it really fucked with me. It’s not what you think though… well, I guess it is because you asked me if it was them and the answer is yes.”
I didn’t want to lie to her about it. She deserved the truth.
“I’m going to explain it to you because I trust you with this, but you do realise this has to stay between you and me… and I suppose your brother since apparently he also knows.”
“If Jonah hasn’t told anyone about it by now, then he won’t and you can trust me.”
I turned her hand over and traced my fingers down the lines running across her palm.
“If you’ve read about Frank, then you’ll know what kind of fucked up shit he did. He was never going to let Mum go, not after everything they went through, so they had to do it. They had to end it. As insane as this sounds, some people in this world can only be stopped if they’re no longer among us.”
At least that’s how they’d explained it to me.
“They wanted to be free to live without the fear of him coming after them. They don’t come from the same world we do. They fought so hard to get away from the life of poverty they grew up in… my dads, I mean. They all came from horrible situations which were a result of their families being involved in Russo’s empire. I’m not saying I agree with any of it or that it’s okay, but they wanted to end the cycle of corruption and greed… death.”
I looked into her eyes but I couldn’t read her expression.
“They’re not bad people, Meredith, they’re kind, caring and would do anything to keep their family safe. It’s not the world they live in any longer. They put that behind them, but they told all of us to protect us. Some days I wish they hadn’t. Knowing what they did has been a hard pill to swallow.”
She stared at me for a long time before she looked away.
“Am I in danger by being with you?”
“No… I swear to god, Meredith, you’re not.” Reaching out, I turned her face back towards me, cupping her cheek. “You’re never in danger with me. I’ll keep you safe. Always.”