by Sarah Bailey
Cole didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm carrying the beer bottle around my back, pressing me against him as he cupped my face with his other hand. No words needed to be said. I could see it in his eyes and I was sure he could read my thoughts in mine.
I missed you. I still love you. Show me you missed me too.
“Little queen,” he murmured before his lips descended on mine.
I let him kiss me, helpless against the onslaught of his mouth, his tongue and his touch. My hands curled around his neck, pulling him closer, moulding to him just as I’d always done. We might have only been together for a short time, but Cole Carter had won me over, heart and soul. He’d ruined me for anyone else because he’d made me feel alive, happy and free.
“Cole,” I whimpered against his mouth before he bit down on my bottom lip, making me buck into him.
I should stop this. He’d hurt me, ripping my heart right out of my chest when I’d admitted the truth. When I told him I loved him and he walked away. What the hell was he doing here now? And why couldn’t I think about anything else other than letting him strip me down and fuck me senseless?
Cole pulled away, his hand falling from my face to my throat. He caressed my skin with his thumb, staring at me as desire flickered in those hazel depths.
“Did you forget who you belong to, Meredith?”
The way he said my name had me surrendering completely.
“No.”
“Good.”
He pulled me away from the bed and turned me around, shoving me up against the wall with a hand on my neck. I should be scared shitless of what he was doing, but I’d always trusted Cole not to hurt me. Until he did.
Placing the beer bottle on my dresser, he pressed his body flush with mine, showing me how much he still wanted me. I could feel his cock hard against my back and it only made me shiver. He brushed my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.
“Are you going to let me have control?” he whispered in my ear, his teeth grazing down my earlobe. “Let me do anything I want to you.”
Rationality had fled the building. Right then, I didn’t give a shit because Cole was here. Cole, who my heart longed for every second of every minute of every day since he’d walked away from us. He felt good against me. He felt so fucking right. I should put up a fight… but I didn’t want to.
“Yes,” I breathed.
Cole tugged up my skirt, bunching it around my waist. His fingers slid into my knickers and he pulled them down my legs.
“I’m going to fuck you, little queen, fuck you the way I should’ve two years ago.”
I trembled at his words. I’d flirted and kissed other guys at uni, but I’d never slept with anyone else. It never went that far because I was still so hung up on this boy… no, man behind me. Cole was an adult now, even if he was still two years my junior.
He kissed down my neck, his fingers finding their way between my legs and stroking me. I whimpered when he groaned at the feel of me.
“So wet,” he whispered against my skin. “So ready for me.”
I didn’t have it in me to object.
He wrapped a hand around my hip, tugging me back whilst keeping my chest against the wall. The base still pumped through the floorboards, but all I could hear was our mutual harsh breath. All I could feel was him against me and the promise of the pleasure he’d bring.
He shifted back slightly, his hand between us tugging at his zipper. A few moments later, I felt his cock brushing against the bare skin of my behind. He continued to shift around, the rip of foil ringing in my ears. Cole pressed his cock between my legs, sliding against my pussy as he notched it to me. I barely had a chance to take a breath when he thrust in. The delicious sensation only made me ache for him to be fully seated in me.
“Cole,” I moaned, feeling the stretch as he pushed in deeper.
“That’s it, little queen,” he murmured. “Take it.”
He adjusted me so I was angled better for him and then he thrust up, making me cry out. My hands pressed against the wall, my breathing erratic as my pussy tried to adjust to his size and girth. It’s not as if I couldn’t take it before, but we’d never had sex in this position. He felt so much bigger this way.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he grunted.
His hand wrapped around my stomach as he pulled out and thrust in again, setting a pace I was hard-pressed to keep up with. My dress stuck to my back with my sweaty skin and having him against me only made it worse. My body was burning and I knew there’d be no let-up.
“Please,” I whimpered, which only prompted him to fuck me harder.
He grunted which each thrust, his breath harsh against my neck as he buried his face in it. I never wanted this to end. I’d missed him so much. The feel of him. The taste of him. Everything.
“More, give me more.”
His hand slid down my stomach, fingers finding my clit and stroking. He thrust deeper and I couldn’t do anything but take what he gave me. I’d asked for it. I wanted it.
“Did you miss me?” he murmured, kissing my neck.
“Yes.”
Lying to him seemed pointless. It was obvious I had from the way I’d allowed him to kiss me, push me up against a wall and stick his dick in me.
“I missed you.”
My heart ached with those words. It slammed against my ribcage, pain radiating outwards, but I didn’t care. Cole fucking me even whilst I hurt gave me the sweetest damn high.
“You’re still mine. You’re always going to be mine, Meredith, always.”
He bit down on my bare shoulder, making me cry out. The extra sensation sent me over the edge. I bucked, trembled and chanted his name, my climax overtaking everything.
“Good girl,” he whispered. “You always come so sweetly.”
He hammered into me, drawing out every moment until I couldn’t take any more. I slumped against the wall, letting him continue to take me with ruthless thrusts because I couldn’t tell him to stop. I needed Cole to drive the pain away. And he did. He fucked me hard, his fingers still on my clit, pushing me to my limits.
“Again,” he grunted. “You’re going to come again.”
I let him take me under, drowning me in the sea of bliss and years of hurt. Years I wanted to forget but couldn’t. The memory of us haunted my every waking moment and taunted me in my dreams.
“Fuck, Meredith.”
As I continued to pulse around him, he came, his hand gripping my hip in an iron hold as his fingers dropped from my clit. He almost collapsed against my back, pushing me harder against the wall. I didn’t have it in me to say anything about it. All my senses had come alive when he’d given it to me Now, the crushing weight of everything which happened between us almost decimated me.
“Cole,” I whispered. “Why are you here?”
He didn’t speak for a long moment. The only sounds in the air were both of us panting from our vigorous fuck against the wall. I had no idea what he was going to say. No idea how I’d feel either way. All I knew is I’d probably made a huge mistake by letting him fuck me without us having a conversation. Without ranting and raving at him about how he’d broken my heart. The thing is, I don’t think I ever had any willpower when it came to Cole Carter. No matter how much I’d fought against him when we were both teenagers, I’d still given in every single time.
I couldn’t keep doing that, could I?
Cole let go of my hip and raised his hand to my neck, stroking his hand down my sweaty skin.
“I want you back. I never should’ve let you go.”
Chapter Twenty Five
I’d come here with the sole intention of making Meredith mine again. It’d taken me a few weeks of pestering until Raphi finally gave in and told me where she lived. Told me they were having a party tonight. The two of them were still friends and saw each other regularly despite everything which happened between me and Meredith and Raphi and Jonah. Raphi refused to talk to me about it
, even though I told him I knew. Whatever went down between the two of them, it had only got worse after Meredith and I broke up. I didn’t want to pry if he wasn’t ready to tell me.
I’d finally turned eighteen a few weeks back. That had been one of Jonah’s main objections to me being with his sister. Me not being an adult. And the shit with my family? Well, I couldn’t change that. However, I could promise there was no reason for him to worry about her not being safe. I’d protect Meredith from everything. I was a grown man now.
I’d been patient and bided my time until I could be the one she needed. The one who would give her everything. There were no more reasons for us to be apart. I was taking back what was mine. Her. Meredith fucking well belonged to me and I to her. Being without her had been pure agony, but I’d endured it all so I could have this moment again. So I could have her.
“You want me back?” she whispered, her body trembling against mine.
“Yes.”
She let out a shuddering breath.
“Cole.”
“Yes?”
“Let me go.”
My heart physically ached at her words. If she thought for a second, I would allow her any room to run, she was mistaken. It’d been too long.
“No.”
“No?”
“I haven’t been able to touch you for two years. I need this. I need you.”
Meredith had to forgive me. She had to know I’d done it to keep her safe. To protect her. I’d broken it off because it was the right thing to do at the time, even if it killed me. I hated hurting her. Hated the way she’d looked at me. It burnt a hole in my chest, ripping my heart right out of it. I couldn’t let her go. Having her against me after all this time felt so right. Being with her like this. Having her give into me. It made up for all the time we’d been apart. All the time I’d spent hating every minute of my life and my decision to leave her.
I’ve missed you. I love you, Meredith. So. Fucking. Much.
“You need me? What the fuck, Cole?”
She shoved against me. I reluctantly let her go, stepping back to give her some space. She spun around, tugging her skirt down. Her green eyes were full of fire and fury. A reaction I wasn’t expecting.
“Where the fuck were you when I needed you? Huh? You left me! You walked away from me when I needed you, so don’t you dare tell me you need me.”
“Meredith—”
“No! I don’t want to hear it. You can’t just walk back in my life and… and fuck me like that and expect me to forgive you.”
I reached for her but she moved out of my grasp, tearing away from the wall and pacing towards her bed. Knowing she needed a minute, I tugged the condom off and looked around for a bin, throwing it away when I spied it. Then I zipped myself back up and turned to her. Meredith paced the floor, her hands in her hair and her expression hadn’t changed. She was pissed as hell.
“I’m really sorry, you must know I never wanted to hurt you,” I said, sticking my hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching for her.
She dropped her hands from her head.
“Sorry isn’t good enough, Cole. Sorry doesn’t change the fact you walked out on us without a backwards fucking glance.” She stopped, raising her eyes to mine. The pain in them destroyed me. “What kind of person walks away when their girlfriend tells them she loves them? Huh? What kind of person does that? You broke my fucking heart.”
My chest burnt. I’d done that. I wasn’t proud of it. Not at all. Hurting her was my biggest regret. She meant the whole world to me. I’d loved her since I was eleven. Time hadn’t changed that. It hadn’t dulled the feeling. If anything, her absence from my life had only made it grow, latching itself onto me like a leech determined to suck the life out of me. Meredith had infected every part of me. I had no reason to tear her out. Not when she was fucking well mine forever, even if she was angry at me right now. I deserved her ire, even as it cut me.
“Meredith—”
“No. No, I won’t listen to any excuses coming out of your mouth, Cole. I won’t. I want you to leave. I want you to go and never come back. I can’t do this with you. It’s not fair. You broke me. You broke everything after you promised me forever, so do not stand there and tell me you’re sorry and you didn’t mean to hurt me, because you did. And I hate you for it. I hate you for all the time I had to spend seeing you at school whilst my heart lay in fucking pieces at my feet. I hate the fact that you came here after all this time. And I hate myself for letting you fuck me.”
The way her body shook as she threw those words at me made the ache in my chest worse. I wanted to hold her and kiss away all the pain I’d caused, but I knew she wouldn’t let me. And she really wouldn’t forgive me if I tried to comfort her now.
“I want you to leave. I don’t want you to come back here ever again, you hear me? Don’t come back. I don’t want to see you.”
I shook my head. There was no way I could promise her that. No way I would give up on her. I never had, even when everything had got so fucked up between us. But she wasn’t ready to hear that. Not yet. Meredith needed time and I’d give it to her. It was the only thing I could do.
“Okay, I’ll go… but this isn’t over, Meredith. Not by a long shot.”
“It is fucking over, Cole. It was over the day you walked out on me and it’s over now.”
“I get you’re angry at me, but I’m not giving up on you. I’m never going to give up.”
She pointed at the door.
“Get. Out.”
I put my hands up, edging away as I grabbed my shirt and beer. Meredith stared at me with no small amount of hatred in her eyes. That was worse than anything else. Knowing she actually felt hate for me right then. I didn’t know how I could convince her to forgive me, but I knew I had to try.
I left her room, slumping against the wall outside before swigging from the beer bottle in an attempt to regain some semblance of control. It had never been my intention to have her up against the wall when I saw her again, but lust had taken over. She set me on fire and I needed to be in her. When she’d let me kiss her, wrapping herself around me, all thoughts of a conversation and an apology had gone out the window. Meredith consumed me and I couldn’t hold back. I needed my girl close. I needed to hear her crying out my name in ecstasy. And I really needed to fuck her in the ways I’d been imagining for years.
There’d never been anyone else but Meredith in my eyes. Girls had tried to come onto me, but I’d not given them the time of day. Hell, way too many people wanted a piece of me. I didn’t care. None of them were Meredith. I’d remained true to her even though we weren’t together.
I loved that fucking girl to death. She’d been the only thing on my mind since the day I’d walked out. It’d been as hard for me seeing her at school as it had been for her. Not to pull her into me and kiss away all the pain in her eyes. To tell her how much I loved her. But I didn’t want to ruin her relationship with her brother. I wanted her to be happy. Now I knew she wasn’t happy without me. She’d been miserable. And so had I.
I sighed, trudging back downstairs and pushing my way through the crowd as I downed the rest of the beer. I dumped it in the living room before grabbing my jacket and helmet and walking out of the house. If Meredith didn’t want me here, I’d respect her wishes. But I’d be back to reclaim her. She could only stay angry for so long. And she would hear me out one way or another.
I stared up at the house as I tugged my jacket on and sat astride my motorbike.
I promise you, Meredith, I’ll make this right. We’ll have forever with each other. Mark my words.
Jamming my helmet on, I turned the key and kicked my motorbike into gear. I pulled away from the curb knowing this was only temporary and soon, Meredith would be mine again.
Chapter Twenty Six
Why had I been so stupid? Watching Cole walk out on me again tore into my heart in a way I hadn’t experienced since the last time he’d left me. Exc
ept this time Cole told me it wasn’t over and I wanted it to be. I wanted to be done with this shit between us.
You know it’s not done. It will never be done.
I hated myself for still loving him. What was wrong with me? Cole had hurt me. He didn’t deserve a second chance. He deserved nothing from me.
I bloody hoped he’d left like I told him to. If he was still here, I didn’t think I could take it. And the only person I wanted right then was Rhys.
I found my underwear and pulled it back on before staring at myself in the mirror. My face was flushed with anger and my neck still red from the sex I’d just had. My skin felt clammy, but I looked okay for the most part. Deciding I no longer cared about my appearance, I walked out of my room, glad the landing was empty. Fighting my way downstairs was another matter, people were everywhere and drunker than ever. It took me a few minutes to reach the kitchen, finding Rhys leaning up against the counter with what I assumed was a rum and coke in his hand.
My heart couldn’t take it. I dashed across the room and barrelled my way into his chest, wrapping my arms around his back.
“Jesus, Mer, what the fuck?”
A pitiful sob erupted from my lips in response. I felt his arm come around me.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? I was getting worried about you.”
I didn’t know how to tell him about Cole. We’d never really gone there about past relationships. I didn’t want to talk about my shit and he’d been cagey about his own. Now wasn’t the time to hold back. My best friend would help me through this. Rhys had been there for me since the day we’d met, even though it had taken me two months to wear him down and actually admit we were friends. I swear to god he was the most difficult and stubborn boy I’d ever met in my life, but I loved him to bits.
“My ex,” I mumbled into his t-shirt.
“Your ex?”
“He was here… and… and fuck, Rhys, I can’t do this. I can’t be here.”