by Sarah Bailey
I literally dragged myself into work the next day, having not wanted to leave Meredith at all. She looked peaceful tucked up in my covers. I knew she was going to see her brother today and that made me happy, although I wished I could go with her. She always had the biggest smile on her face after she spent time with Jonah. Those two were so much closer than I was to my siblings. Although, over the past couple years I’d grown closer to Raphi and Duke. Aurora was always the odd one out being the only girl and a law unto herself. She had mellowed out a little since she’d moved in with Logan, thankfully.
I’d walked into the staff room and was stripping my jacket off when Demetri stuck his head around the door. His serious expression made me nervous.
“Cole, come with me.”
I was about to put my stuff down but he shook his head. Now, I was worried as hell. Following him out into the hallway, we walked down to his office where he shut the door firmly behind us. Demetri indicated I should take a seat. I placed my stuff down in one of them and took a seat in the other. He sat behind his desk and steepled his hands.
I swallowed as he stared at me for a long moment.
“Cole, I like you. You are a good boy, this is why what I have to tell you is… difficult.”
My hand curled around the arm of the chair.
“I will be very clear so you do not misunderstand. The people I work for… they wish for me to deal with you. They believe you have stolen from them and they do not take kindly to such things, yes?”
I stared at Demetri. The Russian mafia thought I’d stolen something from them.
What the fuck?
“Now, I know you would do no such thing, but there is evidence and I cannot refute what they say.”
He slid a piece of paper across his desk towards me. I leant forward and picked it up. It was the note I’d written to him.
‘AJ is dealing drugs out of the garage.’
“This tells me you are loyal, but you have angered someone who is dangerous. He knows you, how do I say… are a snitch. He does not like this nor that you would not join him.”
I wanted to shred the note into tiny pieces. AJ told me he was going to fuck up my life. I just didn’t realise it would be so fucking soon.
“What did he do?” I all but whispered.
“He’s taken secrets and money… placing the blame on your doorstep. I cannot tell you too much more as it is not safe for you to be here.”
I looked up at Demetri who had nothing but understanding and empathy in his eyes. He leant his elbows on his desk.
“It is not all about the money before you ask, it is pride. This can’t be fixed easily. They won’t harm you or your family because of Viktor, at least not yet, but they will harm those closest to you. They have placed a hit out on your… lady friend.”
My heart fucking fractured in my chest.
Meredith.
“They know about Meredith, yes.”
He must have seen the question in my eyes. The world fell out from underneath me. The Russian mafia had put a fucking hit out on my girlfriend. My girlfriend. Meredith.
Fuck.
“They… they’re going to kill her?” I choked out.
“Yes, if you do not secure her safety.”
I didn’t know what the fuck to think, say or do. All of this was insane. AJ framing me for something I didn’t do. And now Meredith was in fucking danger.
“I can’t… I can’t take her away from her life. She… she wants to… fuck.”
Demetri nodded slowly.
“She isn’t safe here, Cole.”
“Why… why are you telling me all of this?”
I couldn’t focus on Meredith right now. I didn’t understand why Demetri would go to the trouble of telling me what was going on. Everything was such a fucking mess in my mind. I didn’t know what was fucking up or down.
“Viktor saved my life a long time ago. He is a good man. I want to repay him. And you are a good boy.” He leant back in his chair again. “And this… AJ. I do not like him. He is trouble but he has powerful friends. Ones who will protect him.”
I nodded slowly. I took all of my emotions and shoved them in a box to deal with once I got out of here. No matter how much my skin prickled with anxiety and worry, I had to focus.
“What do I need to do?”
“Run. Leave the country and take her with you. Stay hidden from them.”
“And if I don’t go?”
“They will hunt you down, eventually. And they will kill her.”
I couldn’t let that happen. I’d promised to protect Meredith.
“Will I ever be able to come back?”
Demetri gave me a sad smile.
“I will do what I can, Cole. Proving you did not do this will be difficult. But I wish to help you. When you are safe, we will talk. We will find a way.”
I nodded. The fact he was even helping me counted for a lot. And I’d have to thank Grandpa for saving Demetri when I saw him. If I ever saw him. Right now, everything was up in the air.
I stood up, knowing I had to leave. Knowing I had to keep Meredith and me safe from all this shit. Demetri reached into his drawer and took out an envelope. He slid it across the table. I picked it up, turning it over in my hands.
“Open it when you are safe.”
“Thank you, Demetri.”
“Now go, you do not have much time. I have stalled them until tomorrow, but after that, they will expect me to kill her. You work for me, it is my responsibility to see to it.”
I swallowed hard, understanding what he was telling me. Gathering up my things, I shrugged my jacket back on and walked out of the garage in a daze, thankfully not running into anyone. As I made my way home, I tried to work out what the hell I should do. How to fix this mess. It didn’t seem real. It felt completely at odds with what I expected AJ to do. I should have known he’d use extreme measures. The guy was fucking arsehole. And apparently, one with a huge vendetta against me.
This doesn’t make sense or add up right.
I unlocked the front door and walked in when I got home, dumping my helmet in the cupboard along with my jacket.
“Cole?” came my dad’s voice, startling me as I shut the cupboard door. “I thought you had work.”
“I did.”
I looked over at him. My dad’s expression was neutral but his eyes showed his concern. The weight of what Demetri told me crashed into me. Pain radiated down my chest. My heart pounded against my chest. My skin felt clammy.
How the fuck do I deal with this?
“Dad… I’m… I’m in trouble.”
“What do you mean?”
“The… the mafia put a hit out on Meredith.”
“What?”
I couldn’t take this. Everything fell apart in front of my eyes. I was completely lost.
“This guy at work… he’s a drug dealer, but I think he’s more than that and he wouldn’t stop trying to get me involved. I kept telling him no, but he has it out for me. And… and he’s framed me for something I didn’t do. Now… now the Russian mafia is after me, but they won’t kill me because of Grandpa. They will kill Meredith though… they’ll hurt her.”
A tear slid down my face. My hands shook by my sides as the violence of my emotions threatened to destroy me. My girlfriend would die if I didn’t do something. If I didn’t save her. All for something I didn’t even fucking well do.
My dad was in front of me the next moment, putting his arms around me and holding me as the emotional dam broke. I sobbed into his shoulder, clutching his t-shirt because I couldn’t take it. The thought of her being gone ruined me.
“Shh, it’s okay, Cole. It’s okay. We’ll fix this, okay? I promise,” Dad murmured.
“I have to run. I can’t stay here… they’ll come after me if I do. But I can’t take her away from her life. It’s not fair. She needs to stay and finish uni. She has to. It’s her life. Her dream is to work on the West End. I can’t rip
that away from her, Dad. I just can’t. She deserves it. To make her dad proud even though he’s not here any longer.”
“I know. We’ll make sure she’s safe. You don’t have to worry.”
He held me tighter. I didn’t know how he would fix any of this, but my family were nothing if not resourceful. They’d dealt with the criminal underworld before. It’s why I’d not hesitated to tell Dad exactly what had gone on. I couldn’t deal with it alone. I needed them. My family were the only ones who could help me.
“I love her. I love her so much. She’s my whole world and I can’t live without her, but I can’t make her run away with me. It’s not fair.”
He pulled back and took my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.
“Listen to me, Cole. We will find a way to keep her here and get you out of this shit, okay? Whatever it takes. You’re my son, Meredith is your girl and I will protect both of you. Always. Do you understand me? I will make this okay even if it means you have to leave us for a while. Ash, Quinn, Xav, Eric and I will fix it because we love you. We’re never going to let you fall.”
I nodded. Dad looked so determined and each word he spoke soothed me a fraction. He wiped away my tears with the pads of his thumbs.
“Now, you go and clean up your face and come into the dining room afterwards. I’ll get everyone else and we’ll deal with this.”
“She’s not still here, is she?”
Dad gave me a sad smile.
“No, she left half an hour ago to see her brother.”
My heart hurt, but Meredith being gone already could only be a good thing. I didn’t want to disrupt her life with this shit. She needed to be kept out of it for her own protection.
“I told her I loved her for the first time last night… and now… now I have to leave her.”
A fresh set of tears ran down my cheeks. Dad hugged me again, rubbing my back in slow circles until I calmed down enough to stop sniffling.
“She’s a very special girl. One day, you’ll make this right, but for now, we have to deal with what’s going on.” He pulled away and pushed me towards the bathroom. “Go. I promise we’re going to find a way, Cole.”
I believed him. My parents weren’t people to be messed with. They protected each other and they’d do the same for me. It didn’t stop my heart fracturing at the thought of leaving Meredith all over again. Didn’t stop me from wanting to curl up in a ball until this all went away. I had to be strong. To face up to the situation. When I was safe, I could afford to break down. I could mourn the loss of the love of my life.
After I cleaned up my face, I walked into the dining room finding all of my parents standing around the table with grave expressions on their faces. Mum immediately came over to me and wrapped me up in her arms, burying her face against my chest.
“My baby boy,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”
I knew the thought of me having to leave would be eating her up inside. But I didn’t see any other way around this.
“I love you too, Mum.”
She pulled back and stroked my face before turning to my dads.
“We’re going to protect him and Meredith, right?”
“Yes, little girl,” Quinn replied, his expression darkening. “We’re always going to keep our children safe.”
The rest of them nodded, reassuring me they would go to the ends of the earth for me.
“How are we going to make sure she can stay and finish uni?” I asked.
Xav looked over at Quinn and then winked at me.
“We have our ways, Cole. Those Russian cunts aren’t going to keep your girl from living her life, not on my fucking watch.”
“You’re not going to do something reckless, Xavi,” Eric said.
“Don’t worry, E, I wouldn’t want you getting your knickers in a twist over me.”
Eric scowled at him, which almost made me smile. I was going to miss my family so fucking much. They were the most caring people I knew except for Meredith. I’d miss her the most. Fuck. My heart would be eviscerated because of this, but the knowledge I’d be keeping her safe drove me. It gave me the strength to go through with it.
Dad walked over to me and put an arm around my shoulder, giving me a squeeze.
“I’m going to break her heart again,” I whispered.
“One day, you’ll be able to tell her why. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to let them go.”
I nodded even though I’d never be able to let Meredith go for good. She was the love of my life. It was for her I was doing this. To protect her. She wouldn’t know that though. She wouldn’t understand. That hurt worse than anything else.
I’m sorry, Meredith. You have no idea how much. I have to protect you. I have to keep you safe even if it means I rip your heart out in the process. You’ll heal in time. I hope you don’t forget what I told you last night. I hope you don’t forget I love you.
I regretted a lot of things in my life. Especially what was about to happen next. But I didn’t regret telling her I loved her last night along with my intentions for the future. It was all I had left to hold on to. All I had left to get me through the treacherous path I’d inadvertently stepped onto. Because the thought of leaving this all behind did nothing but wreck me inside.
Chapter Forty Three
The fact I hadn’t heard from Cole all day yesterday after he kissed me goodbye in the morning concerned me. I’d texted him a couple of times without a response and even tried calling him in the evening. It had gone straight to voicemail. What with the way he’d been acting, it left me feeling a little unsure and confused about what was going on.
I should be happy since he’d told me he loved me for the first time. Told me he wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. Get married and have babies. All of it had filled my heart with joy. The openness and sincerity in his voice put to rest all my fears, doubts and insecurities. Having him finally tell me he loved me was everything I needed.
I’d just made it downstairs when the doorbell went. Walking over, I pulled it open and blinked when I found Cole’s dad on the doorstep. Rory had a pensive expression on his face as if he wasn’t comfortable being here. Considering none of Cole’s parents had turned up at my door before, I felt a little unnerved.
Why is he here? Where’s Cole?
“Uh, hi, Rory.”
“Meredith… can I come in?”
I nodded and stepped back. Rory walked into the house, leaving me to shut the door behind him. I led him into the living room and waved at the sofa, indicating he could take a seat.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, thank you.”
He sat down, eying the place for a long moment before he levelled his gaze back on me.
“I think it might be best if you sat down too.”
I shuffled over to the sofa and sat down next to him. The tone of his voice filled me with nervous anticipation. And not in a good way. It’s not like I was super close with Cole’s dad or anything so I didn’t know what to make of this.
Rory dug into an inside pocket of his jacket and took out an envelope. He smoothed it out with his fingers. I stared at it, my stomach sinking with every passing second.
“Meredith, I don’t come bearing good news. In all honesty, I’m sorry it has to be me.”
He looked over at me, sadness radiating out of his hazel eyes. They reminded me so much of Cole’s. And I knew then, whatever he had to tell me, it had everything to do with his son.
“This is for you, but I want you to know before I give it to you, it is the last thing any of us wanted, especially my son. Sometimes life leads us down a path none of us wants to walk along and we just have to deal with the consequences.”
My heart tightened painfully in my chest. Whatever was in that letter, I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it. Wasn’t sure I was ready for what it would contain.
“What… what happened?”
Meredith,
I don’t think there are words which can express just how sorry I am for what I’m about to tell you. I need you to know everything I said to you the last time we saw each other is the truth. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are mine and I am yours. That will never change. No matter the circumstances. No matter the pain you will surely feel when I say what I have to say. Know I will love you forever. You are my one.
By the time you read this, I will be gone. I didn’t want it to come to this, but I have to leave. It’s for my own safety and yours. I wish I could have taken you with me, but I can’t in any good conscience pull you away from your life. I want you to finish university and fulfil your dreams of working on the West End. I need you to go on living for me. To achieve all the things I know you can in life. You deserve to be happy.
I know this is difficult to read and to understand. I wish I could explain, but please know this is the only way. Please know I would never leave you if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. I never wanted to hurt you the way I did before. I never want to cause you pain. I know I’m hurting you right now and it kills me, but I have no other choice. I will spend every day wishing I could have found another way where we could still be together.
For now, this is goodbye. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it to you in person. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.
I love you, Meredith. Never forget that.
Yours forever
Cole
Each word I read stabbed at my heart. It tore my insides apart, ripping me to shreds.
Cole was gone.
Cole had left me again.
I read the words over and over, trying to understand what would force him into this. To understand why he had to leave me. Why he had to go. But the letter didn’t explain. It didn’t tell me anything.
“Why… why… what… what made him leave?”