by Sarah Bailey
Jonah’s eyebrows shot up when he spied me after he stepped in and shut the door behind him.
“Well, I’ve clearly caught you at an inopportune moment,” he said, turning away but not before I saw his grin.
Cole looked back at my brother with no small amount of amusement in his expression. I didn’t know why he found this funny. The last thing I wanted was for Jonah to come home and see me right after I’d fucked my ex-boyfriend.
“Um, hi, J… sorry, I didn’t know when you would be back,” I said, unsure of how to deal with the situation.
“No, no, it’s fine,” Jonah said, but I could hear the mirth in his voice. “About time one of us caught the other, eh?”
“Oh, shut up and go to your room. And keep your eyes averted!”
Jonah put his hand over his eyes and walked further into the flat. He was still smiling wide, which only irritated me. It’s not as though I often brought people back to our flat and I’d certainly never slept with anyone outside of my bedroom. We didn’t have rules or anything, it’s just I didn’t want Jonah catching me in the act.
When Jonah was in the small hallway, he turned back slightly, “I don’t care if you fuck in the living room. Just make sure nothing gets on our sofa, eh?”
I grabbed a cushion and threw it at his head. Jonah laughed as he walked away into his bedroom. I buried my face in Cole’s shoulder, feeling embarrassed and unsure of what I should say. Whilst I might be pretty out there with Rhys about all things to do with sex, it was a different story when it came to my brother. We rarely ever discussed that sort of thing.
“Why is this my life?” I muttered.
“Do you think he saw me?” Cole asked, stroking my back.
“No, or he would have said more.”
“Guess he’s in for another shock then.”
I groaned, having forgotten all about that.
“Oh Jesus, don’t remind me. Fuck.”
“It’s okay, I can leave before he comes out if you don’t want him to know.”
I shook my head. Jonah wouldn’t judge. He knew how I felt about Cole. I doubted he’d be surprised I’d ended up sleeping with my ex within less than twenty-four hours of him being here.
“No. I’d rather get this over with now.”
Cole kissed the top of my head.
“Okay, little queen, whatever you need.”
What I needed was for my brother to have never gotten home yet, but we didn’t always get what we wanted in life. Guess it was time to face the music. It would come out one way or another that Cole was back. I was going to be an adult and fess up to my brother. Cowardice wasn’t my style. Besides, Jonah couldn’t say a fucking thing. Not when he’d got back together with the person who broke his heart too.
Apparently, me, Jonah and Rhys were far too alike when it came to first loves. They were ink, permanently etched on our hearts, binding us to the one person in our lives we were meant to end up with. It didn’t matter how much they’d hurt us, we couldn’t help but be drawn back into their sphere. To need them like they were the essence of life we needed to keep breathing. We forgave them for the pain because of love.
I pulled back and looked at Cole. My one was right here. And I wasn’t fucking well letting him go again. Not for anything.
Chapter Forty Eight
When Jonah emerged from his bedroom, Cole and I had sorted ourselves out and were both sat on the sofa, not touching. I’d wolfed down my cold toast and half my tea. Cole had certainly given me a workout and I’d been starving.
Jonah paused when he spied us, eyes roaming over Cole. His eyebrow raised slowly before he glanced at me with a knowing look on his face. I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent a retort falling out of my mouth. I hoped my brother would not make a smart remark.
“Well, this is a surprise. Hello, Cole… dare I ask why your face is all messed up?”
I glanced at Cole who merely smiled.
“Got into a fight. Your sister fixed me up.”
Jonah frowned.
“Is this going to be a regular thing? You know how I feel about you getting Meredith in trouble.”
“No, it’s not. I’m dealing with it and it won’t be an issue much longer.”
I glanced between Cole and Jonah, wondering if this would turn into a huge confrontation. Jonah canted his head. I sucked in a breath.
“You here to make an honest woman out of my sister?”
“Jonah!” I hissed, wondering what the fuck my brother was playing at.
“If she lets me,” Cole replied with a shrug.
“Good. It’s about time.”
“Glad to know I have your blessing.”
What is happening? Why are my brother and my ex-boyfriend planning my fucking future right now?
I opened and closed my mouth. What did I even say to any of this?
“I’m pretty sure Mer would tell me to go fuck myself if I demanded you ask my permission. She’s going to do what she wants regardless of my opinion.”
Cole grinned. What on earth was with these two? Were they trying to gang up on me?
“Excuse me! I’m sitting right here in case you’d forgotten,” I blurted out, annoyed by them acting as if I wasn’t in the room.
“I hadn’t,” Jonah said. “But the look on your face is priceless.”
“Why you little fu—”
My phone going off interrupted me before I could rip my brother a new one. I got up off the sofa, stomping over to the kitchen table and giving Jonah evils along the way. He winked at me. I ignored him as I picked up my bag and tugged out my phone. It was running low on battery. I’d forgotten to put it on charge last night. Fiddling with it, I checked my messages.
Rhys: I’ve been spoiled.
It was followed up with a photo of the spread Aaron had put on for them for breakfast. I rolled my eyes as another photo came through of the two of them. Aaron was kissing Rhys on the cheek. These two. I swear to god they were obsessed with each other and making my life hell by taunting me with their happy relationship. Not that I wasn’t happy for them. Hell, I loved this new Rhys now he had Aaron.
Meredith: You two lovebirds make me sick.
Rhys: You’re just annoyed I didn’t send you a pic of us fucking.
I snorted. Cheeky little fucker.
Meredith: I would have to bleach my eyes if you did that!
Rhys: Oh, so you only like to hear all about it as opposed to seeing it?
Meredith: Go do dirty stuff to your new husband as opposed to harassing me.
Rhys: Oh, I intend to. The new Mr King needs a reward for all his hard work.
Why is he doing this to me? This man is not okay. I swear he’s getting me back for all the times I divulged too much information about my sex life.
Meredith: I swear you’ve been hanging around me too much.
Rhys: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Meredith: In this case, it is. Love you.
Rhys: Love you more! A says hi and to keep corrupting me so he can reap the rewards.
Meredith: Tell A if he wants you to get all dominant Rhys on him, he needs to rearrange everything on your desk.
Rhys sent me back crying with laughter emojis. Well, it was true. Rhys hated people touching his desk. No doubt those two would be all over each other soon enough. They were leaving for their honeymoon in Thailand tomorrow, something Rhys had been looking forward to since it’d be his very first holiday outside of the country. In some ways, I was glad Rhys wouldn’t be around so I didn’t have to tell him about Cole yet. That was a conversation I was not looking forward to.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I found Jonah standing next to me with concern on his face.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice quiet.
“Yeah, it’s just Rhys and he’s fine.”
I leant against my brother, putting my phone back down on the table.
“I meant about, you know.”<
br />
I knew he was talking about Cole, but I didn’t want to start a conversation about it with Jonah when my ex was still here.
“We’ll talk about it later.”
Jonah gave my shoulder a squeeze.
“I actually have to get going,” came Cole’s voice from behind me.
Both Jonah and I turned towards him. He’d stood up and was rubbing the back of his neck.
“Oh, okay,” I mumbled.
I wanted Cole to stay. We had so many things to discuss, but I also knew he had shit to handle.
“I can come by tomorrow… if you’d like.”
I let out a long sigh.
“I’m working. Not that I want to, but I took time off for Rhys’ wedding and they need me. I’m around late evening though, like after nine.”
Cole nodded slowly. I walked over to him, feeling Jonah’s eyes on my back.
“If you give me your number, I’ll text you, yeah?”
He handed me his phone and I added myself to his contacts. No doubt he’d had to get rid of his old number what with the trouble he was in. After he left, I’d texted him way too many times, hoping for a response and knowing I wouldn’t get one. I didn’t want to think about those months. How I’d had to go on with my life even though I’d fallen into a pit of despair. It was during that time I’d been truly grateful for Rhys and Jonah. Those two picked up my broken pieces and patched them up with tape. It was only temporary, but it was something.
Cole took his phone back and gave me a smile. The sight of it made my heart hurt. I hadn’t had enough time with him yet. Hadn’t had a chance to savour his presence. I internally shook myself. He said he’d see me tomorrow. I had to hope he’d stick by that. Don’t think anyone could blame me for being wary about Cole turning up after the way he’d left me. Twice.
He leant down towards me and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“I’m coming back,” he whispered without pulling away.
“I know.”
He reached up and brushed his fingers down my arm.
“I don’t think you do. You’re scared and I don’t blame you for that, little queen. I won’t ask you to trust me, but I am coming back to you.”
My heart did a backflip at his serious tone. His reassurance. I looked up at him, trying to stop myself from having all these fears and doubts but failing miserably.
“Cole, if you don’t… I won’t survive it,” I whispered, my voice shaking on each word. “I don’t want to live without you.”
His hazel eyes softened, melting my fucking heart into pieces. Here I was being vulnerable with him all over again because he made me that way. He held my whole fucking soul in the palm of his hand and could crush it if he chose to.
“When I’ve done what I need to do, I want you to be prepared for the question I’m going to ask you. You know what it is, Meredith. You know what I want. Think about your answer because I’m going to fight my way back to you if I have to. I will fight for you.”
Both his hands came up and he cupped my face, pressing his lips to mine and sealing his words a kiss. When he pulled away, he assessed me for a long moment.
“I love you.”
He kissed my forehead again and let me go, walking away to grab his jacket before he disappeared out the front door, giving me one last glance and a smile. I stared at the space he’d been in, my heart racing at a hundred miles an hour. The way he’d said it so casually as if I was supposed to know he still felt that way. I mean I did and I didn’t. It wasn’t as if I expected him to just come out with those three words. Cole had taken forever to say them last time.
“So, do I even ask if you’re happy he’s back?” came Jonah’s voice from behind me.
“I… he… did he mean what I think he did?”
“About what?”
“He said I know what question he wants to ask me.”
I heard Jonah chuckling. I turned and found him smiling at me.
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
I gave him a look. My mind was too full of everything to process what had happened. And I was probably being completely dense.
“Meredith, that boy has loved you since he was eleven. I think it’s pretty obvious what he wants. He even told you the night before he left.”
I’d confessed everything to Jonah. Every last detail because I’d over analysed it a million times since Cole left. Every word and action. So fucking futile, but my memories of Cole were the only things I had left to cling onto at the time.
“Please spell it out for me. Seeing him again has me all crazy, okay? I don’t know what’s up or down any longer.”
Jonah walked over to me and put his hands on my arms. His green eyes twinkled with amusement.
“He wants to make you his wife.”
“He what?”
“Cole wants to marry you. That’s what he’s going to ask you and the fact you can’t see that…” Jonah shook his head. “Meredith, I love you, but you really are an idiot sometimes.”
“Hey! My ex-boyfriend just landed on my doorstep after five years of no word, give me a break.”
Jonah pulled me into his arms and held me against his chest. I relaxed into him, feeling all the stress and emotional turmoil spilling out of me. Jonah had a calming presence. He always knew how to make me feel better.
“Do you want him back?”
“Yes,” I mumbled into his jumper.
“Then I think you already know the answer to the question he’s going to pose.”
I buried myself deeper into my brother’s hold. The thought of Cole asking me to marry him gave me heart palpitations. As if my heart wasn’t going crazy as it was.
“You’re not going to tell me I’m insane for wanting to be with him after everything, are you?”
“No, because I know you wouldn’t be considering it if Cole didn’t have a good reason for leaving.”
I shook my head, gripping Jonah tighter.
“The Russian mafia wants him dead for something he didn’t do. That’s all I know. He said he’d explain it all when he’s dealt with it.”
“I did tell you that family is trouble.”
I smacked Jonah’s back.
“Shut up. You cannot talk. Did you ask him last night?”
“This isn’t about me.”
I pulled back and looked up at my brother’s smiling features.
“Jonah, I swear to god I will beat you up.”
“Yes, I did ask.”
“And? You are mean for leaving me in suspense. If you don’t tell me, I’ll just ask him.”
Jonah bit his lip and then shook his head.
“He said yes, okay?”
For a moment, I just looked at him. Then I smiled.
“And did you tell him you love him?”
Jonah rolled his eyes.
“Yes.”
“Did he say it back?”
“Yes.”
I let go of him and clapped my hands together, which only made Jonah give me a look.
“You two are the cutest couple ever and I’m going to count down the days until I get to be your best woman. It’s going to be so beautiful.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, come on, J, you and him are going to get married and adopt beautiful babies. Just think, we’ll have a real family then.”
Jonah let me go abruptly and scowled.
“You need to quit getting crazy ideas in your head.”
“You telling me you don’t want to marry him?”
Jonah stalked away from me. I kept smiling because I knew exactly how my brother felt and what he wanted out of life.
“Fuck, you are annoying. Yes, yes I do want those things in the future and you need to keep that shit to yourself, got it? No telling him about any of it, because I only just got him back and I’m not going to lose him again.”
I zipped my mouth shut. As if I would do anything to jeopardise their relations
hip. I’d encouraged Jonah to go after what he wanted when the opportunity presented itself.
“Your secrets are safe with me, J. Just don’t give me shit about Cole and we’re good.”
Jonah considered my offer for a moment.
“Fine, deal. Just… be careful, yeah? I don’t want you getting hurt.”
I nodded. I’d be careful. Cole said he was going to handle things first. I guess I was going to have to be patient, wait for him to come back to me and hope I wouldn’t lose my shit in the process.
What I’d said to Cole was true. I didn’t want to live without him again.
It would break me.
Completely.
Chapter Forty Nine
The moment I walked through the front door of the house I grew up in, I sucked in a breath and let it out. Five years away from my family. My home. The place which held my hopes and dreams. All of it weighed on me. Coming back here felt like the start of something new.
I’d only arrived back in the UK two days ago and had gone straight to Aurora and Logan’, so I hadn’t seen my parents yet. My heart got tight thinking about how much I’d missed out on. Seeing Meredith again had only reminded me of how much that fucker, AJ, had stolen from me. He’d taken away my fucking life and I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. He might think he was king in his castle, but he was nothing and nobody. I’d make sure he knew that before I destroyed him.
“My baby boy!”
I looked up in time to see a blur of blonde hair before my mum crashed into my chest, holding me as tight as she could.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she sobbed.
I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her hair and breathing her in. Mum smelt just like home. It didn’t bother me she was crying because I sort of felt like doing it too. It had been far too long.
“I’ve missed you too, Mum.”
She pulled back and looked me over before reaching up to cup my face in her hands. She ran her fingers over my bruises. I’d pre-warned her about having got into an altercation last night so she’d been expecting it.
“You look so grown up and here you are towering over me like everyone else.”