No Fooling Around: Lennox Brothers Romantic Comedy

by Hunter, Talia

  Benedict’s flashlight jerked over to it, and he chuckled. “I’ll take that—”

  His demand cut off with a yelp as he stepped into the tripwire I’d strung just below knee height.

  His momentum carried him forward and Benedict went sprawling. His flashlight flew out of his hand and crashed into the wall. Another object skittered after it. I was on Benedict in a second, pushing my knee into his back to keep him on the ground, while I twisted his arm up.

  Benedict grunted, trying to throw me off, but I had my full weight on him and I was stronger than he was.

  “Here!” Iola threw me the pink fluffy handcuffs, and I fastened them around his wrists.

  “You got him,” she crowed as I stood up.

  Hooking a hand under Benedict’s arm, I pulled him to his feet. With his hands cuffed behind his back, all the fight had gone out of him. He looked petulant.

  “Let me go,” he spat. “This is illegal. It’s kidnapping. If you don’t release me right now, you’ll have to deal with my lawyer.”

  I turned on the bright overhead lights and looked at the object he’d dropped with his flashlight. Instead of a baseball bat or knife, it turned out to be a canister of pepper spray. Huh. Just went to prove that predicting everything was impossible.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?” Benedict twisted to glare at me. He was trying to yank his hands out of the cuffs, but I’d fastened them so tightly, he didn’t have a chance of getting free.

  “I’m the guy who’s kidnapping you.” I sounded bored.

  “Where’s Ruff?” demanded Iola.

  “I’ll never tell you.”

  She stepped closer to him and jabbed her finger into his chest. “You’d better tell me where Ruff is before I decide to hurt you.”

  He scoffed. “What are you going to do, Iola? If you so much as scratch me I’ll make sure you serve jail time.”

  I cut the tripwire, then put my hand on Benedict’s shoulder and propelled him out of the bedroom. “Come on.” In a softer voice I said to Iola, “Remember I had a surprise for you? It’s through here.” Pushing Benedict through the living room, I flicked on the lights as we went.

  “Where are you taking me?” Benedict growled. “You have no idea how much trouble you’re in. When my lawyers get through with you—”

  I shoved him into the laundry room and he almost stumbled into the wall before turning to face me. The room was small, with a small drain set into the tiled floor so excess water could drain away. Beside the washing machine, leaning on the wall, I’d hidden a surprise for Iola. It was big and surprisingly heavy, so I had to use two hands to pick it up and offer it to her.

  She gaped for a second, then a wide grin spread over her face. She took it out of my hands, her face displaying enough reverence to make my inner child smile.

  “Is this what I think it is?” she asked.

  “The Soakinator Gargantuan 2000,” I confirmed. “Still the best water gun on the market, and it’s fully loaded and ready to go. You said you’d never been in a water fight, and I’m afraid this one will be one-sided, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it anyway.” I took a moment to savor the glee in her eyes.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” Benedict growled. “You’d better not even think about using that thing on me.”

  Iola responded by hoisting the big gun and aiming it at him. “Where’s Ruff, Benedict?”

  “This is an expensive jacket. And my passport is in my pocket, an official document. If you damage it, that’s a serious crime.”

  “You’re right.” Reaching into his jacket pocket, I pulled out his passport and car keys. “I’ll hold onto these for you.”

  “You wouldn’t dare shoot me, Iola.” Benedict cringed backward until his back hit the wall. “Don’t be foolish. This benefits nobody.”

  “One more chance,” she aimed it at his chest. “Where’s Ruff?”

  “Iola, for heaven’s sake—”

  She pulled the trigger and a torrent of water erupted from the Soakinator.

  He shouted as the water hit, twisting to try to get out of the way. Iola laughed with delight, drenching him from head to toe. When the stream stopped, her eyes were dancing. “This is fun!”

  I smiled back. “At some point in the future, we should both get guns.”

  “Yes! Get your own gun and we can have a war, like your dad and his neighbor.”

  Benedict was gasping. “Iola, you bitch! I’ll kill both you and the dog. I’ll make that mongrel suffer—”

  Iola let out a war cry as she fired, and his threats turned into splutters.

  Leaving her to her fun, I went outside. A number of cars were parked on the street, but when I pressed the button on Benedict’s key, the lights of one flashed. And as I walked to the car, a familiar face peered out from the back window.

  “Hi Ruff,” I said.

  The dog barked. He seemed pleased to see me. I let him out of the car and he butted my leg with his head, his tail wagging furiously.

  “Iola’s inside,” I told him.

  Ruff barked again, lumbering to the door ahead of me. I let him inside, and his claws clacked on the floor as he raced straight for Iola.

  “Ruff!” Iola dropped to her knees to throw her arms around the dog’s neck.

  “That dog isn’t yours.” Benedict drew himself up, shaking with outrage. His face was bright red, and his clothes were soaked and clinging to his frame, but he seemed to have recovered some of his bluster.

  I put a hand on Iola’s shoulder. “Are you finished with the Soakinator?” I asked.

  She hesitated. “Well, I guess so.”

  “We should move to the next phase.” I eyed Benedict. He was even wetter than I’d expected, and he’d drip water all through the house, but there was no way to avoid that.

  I stepped forward and took his soggy arm. “Come with me.”

  “Where are you taking me?” He tried to plant his feet, but with his hands cuffed behind him, it was easy enough to pull him forward.

  “To the dining table. Sit down and I’ll take the handcuffs off.”

  That got him moving under his own steam, and he sat in the chair I pulled out for him.

  “We have papers signing over ownership of Ruff to Iola,” I said. “When I take the handcuffs off, I expect you to sign them.”

  He leaned forward, lifting his hands behind him. “Take them off.”

  “First, I want to play you a recording.”

  Iola carried in a couple of towels. She dropped one on the floor under Benedict’s chair and handed him the other. She put a pen and the change of ownership papers for Ruff on the table in front of him, then sat on the chair next to him.

  “You have footage of the community center?” asked Benedict.

  Iola shook her head. “I was bluffing.”

  I opened my laptop, found what I was looking for, and pressed Play before swiveling it to face Benedict.

  “What’s this?” He frowned at the black screen. “There’s nothing there.”

  “You’ll notice the camera in the corner of the living room.” I pointed away from the laptop, at the camera I’d installed only a short time ago. “It uses the latest infra-red technology. In a moment you’ll see yourself breaking into Iola’s house. Breaking and entering happens to be a felony. You broke the law, whereas handcuffing an intruder isn’t defined as kidnapping. We broke no laws, but simply detained a burglar before calling the police.”

  Sure enough, a light appeared in the corner of the black recording, and a figure became visible. It was clearly Benedict creeping through the door.

  “That’s a good shot of the pepper spray he’s holding.” Iola leaned forward to peer at the screen. “Isn’t that classed as a weapon, Asher? Wouldn’t the police take that seriously?”

  “Very seriously. Breaking and entering with a weapon isn’t an easy charge to defend.”

  “I’ll call the police.” She lifted her cellphone.

  Benedict’s jaw was tight, his teeth grinding
together. His face was even redder than it had been before. “I’ll sign your damn papers,” he spat. “Keep the mongrel. I hope it gives you rabies.”

  “Lean forward.” I pulled out the key for the handcuffs. “And just so you know, the recording’s been automatically saved to the cloud and simultaneously downloaded onto multiple devices. And the camera’s still recording us, so doing anything foolish like trying to destroy my laptop would only get you in more trouble.”

  His teeth ground together even harder, but when I released the handcuffs, he snatched up the pen and scribbled his signature on the papers.

  “Now destroy the recording,” he demanded.

  I shook my head. “Not until you’re back in England.”

  Benedict jumped to his feet. His fists were clenched and he was shaking with anger, little droplets of water flying off him. “I’ll make you regret this.”

  Iola leaned back in her chair and looked up at him. “There’s one more thing.” Her voice was so cool and biting, it made pride swell in my chest. “I sent my lawyer a statement about our marriage. It’s a sealed document detailing exactly how controlling you were, and how you threatened me and made me suffer. And in case you find a way to justify how awful you were, I also included information about our marital relations. Because it’s an unfair world, the fact you never gave me an orgasm won’t make any legal difference, but if you contest the divorce, the document will be unsealed and read out in court.” She tapped her finger against her lips as if she’d just thought of something. “Wait a minute. Don’t you play golf with the judge? Aren’t you members of the same club?” She tsked. “I hope he doesn’t gossip.”

  It was almost impossible to keep from smiling. She hadn’t told me she’d embellished the plan, but it was brilliant. She was brilliant.

  Benedict’s face had gone from bright red to a deep shade of purple. “You wouldn’t embarrass yourself by telling lies about our private life, Iola.”

  “They aren’t lies. And seeing as I never plan to go to England again, I don’t care if everyone in the country finds out you were bad in bed.” She stood up to face him, her chin lifted and her eyes as hard as emeralds. “Signing the divorce papers is the only way the envelope stays sealed.”

  He gave his head a disgusted shake. “You were a nobody, and I gave you my name. Becoming an Appleby was a privilege you didn’t deserve, and now you’ve thrown it away. You should be ashamed.”

  “Get out.” She folded her arms. “I have nothing more to say to you.”

  “Come on,” I told Benedict. “I’m going to drive you to the airport. Once I’ve seen you get on a flight, I’ll delete the recording.”

  Benedict drew himself up and squelched out, his wet shoes leaving a soggy trail across the floor.

  Iola put her hand on my arm before I could follow. “Thank you Asher, but I can’t ask you to take him all that way.”

  Lifting her hand, I kissed her knuckles. “I’ll message you when his plane takes off so you know he’s gone for good.”

  “Come back here afterward.”

  I shook my head, heading for the door. “It’ll be late. You and Ruff should get some sleep. I’ll call you in the morning.”

  Once Benedict was gone, Iola would be safe, and I’d have to tell her everything.

  Tomorrow I’d confess my secrets.

  Tomorrow I’d lose her.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Iola

  “Why are we back here?” I asked Asher as we parked in front of the circus tents the next morning. What made it stranger was that it was quiet, with not many cars around, so it didn’t even seem as though a show was about to start.

  “Not that I’m complaining,” I added before Asher could get the wrong idea. “I loved it so much the first time, I’m happy to see the show again. But I wouldn’t have thought you’d want to come back so soon.”

  Last night’s plan had gone so perfectly, I’d still been riding a high this morning. Asher had said he was taking me out to celebrate, but wouldn’t say where. And he’d been weirdly insistent, even asking Gloria to take care of Ruff so I wouldn’t worry about him while we were gone.

  All that trouble to go to the circus again? It didn’t make sense.

  “Come on,” he said, sliding out of the car. “I’ll explain on the way inside.”

  I got out too, and we started toward the big top. When he’d told me to wear workout clothes, I figured we’d be doing something active. “Okay, what’s this all about?” I demanded.

  “I wanted you to have a special day.” His face was unreadable. “Today we celebrate. Tonight we’ll talk.”

  “Talk about what?”

  He shook his head, and I frowned at the tightness around his eyes. “That’s for later. Today, we’re going to swing.”

  “Swing?”

  “I’ve arranged for a trapeze lesson.”

  “Really?” I let out an excited whoop, bouncing on my toes. “I guess you’re not going to do it with me?”

  “I am.”

  “But you’re afraid of heights.”

  “It’s not the heights that worry me, it’s the possibility of falling. I had a bad fall when I was younger.”

  “What happened?”

  He shook his head as we walked into the big top. “I’ll let them know we’re here.”

  I couldn’t see any performers, but there were some workmen in the ring, laying fresh sawdust. Asher spoke to one of them, and the man strolled away through the back of the tent, presumably going to fetch someone.

  “We’re a little early.” Asher motioned me toward one of the seats at the side of the ring. “Let’s sit while we wait.”

  “Will you tell me about your fall? If we’re going to trapeze together, it might help if I know what happened.”

  He hesitated, and I could see he was reluctant to talk about it. “It was when we were in Mexico.” His words came slowly and the tension around his eyes told me the memory was still painful. Maybe pushing him to relive it right before a trapeze lesson was a bad idea, but he took a breath and kept talking.

  “When we first arrived, Mom got a waitressing job and started dating a nice guy. Money was short, but things weren’t so bad.”

  “That’s when you learned your cup and ball trick?”

  He nodded. “But Mom would get mad sometimes and it wasn’t a regular kind of anger, but a blind fury. Like she was possessed. Or she’d be needy and demand reassurance, making us tell her we loved her over and over again.”

  His tone was so matter-of-fact, I could tell how hard it was for Asher to talk about his mother. And he was sitting stiffly, staring into the gloom of the tent’s furthest corner.

  “That must have been hard on you.” I took his hand.

  “Mom’s boyfriend stuck with her for a long time. He tried to help, and without him, things would have been a lot worse.”

  “The chef?” I asked, remembering he’d mentioned him.

  He nodded. “After Mom finally drove him away, she lost her job, and we knew it was only a matter of time before we’d be evicted. That’s when she met Four-Finger-Frankie.”

  “Another boyfriend?”

  “Scum.” The word was toneless. “A drug dealer with delusions of grandeur. He gave her drugs and used her.” His eyes were unfocused, his face as blank as though he was wondering what type of sawdust the workmen were laying. “He broke her. She was sick and vulnerable, but in her own way she was doing her best to look after us. He crushed her, and took all the good parts away.”

  I wrapped my other hand around the one I was holding. My stomach was churning. I felt a deep pity for a woman I didn’t know, and her three boys. How terrible it must have been for Asher and his brothers.

  My parents had died suddenly, in a house fire, and the pain of losing them was worse than anything I could have imagined. I couldn’t imagine how helpless Asher must have felt watching his mother develop a drug addiction when he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

  “The drugs made Mom p
aranoid,” he went on. “And sometimes she’d get hysterical, convinced we were plotting against her. She started locking us in the apartment all night while she went out with Frankie. Then one day, she didn’t come back.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean, she didn’t come back? You were still locked inside? How long did she leave you?”

  “After three days, we knew we’d have to get out on our own.”

  Three days? My mouth dropped open and I made a muffled sound in the back of my throat, but Asher kept talking.

  “The apartment was on the third floor, and the only other way out was through a window, but they all had safety latches to stop them opening far enough.”

  I squeezed his hand, wishing there was something else I could do. My face felt bloodless, but I was trying not to let him see how horrified I was.

  “One of the windows opened a little more than the others,” he said. “I was the only one who could fit through it, so I went out that way to get help.”

  “You climbed out a third-floor window?”

  For a moment, I wasn’t sure he’d heard me. It was like he was back in that long-ago apartment, staring out the window, judging the distance to the ground.

  “The walls were sheer. There wasn’t anything to climb onto.”

  My mouth opened and shut. I cleared my throat. “When you went out the window, you knew you’d fall?”

  He nodded. “But it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. I only broke my arm.”

  I swallowed hard, picturing Asher going out a high window to get help for his brothers. How scared he must have been. That moment when he let go of the sill and dropped…

  Could I have done the same thing in his place? Would I have been brave enough?

  “What happened to your mom?” I asked. “Did she get in trouble for leaving you locked in an apartment?”

  A muscle pulsed in his jaw. “By then, someone had discovered her body in a back alley. Her pockets had been emptied, and the police didn’t know who she was or where she lived. They couldn’t give us an exact time of death, but they were sure she’d been there longer than twenty-four hours.”