Flash Burned

by Calista Fox

  Amano waited in the hallway while I surmised Kyle went to greet everyone on the back patio, since it was a typical beautiful Sedona day to be outside.

  Macy gave me a hug. “I’ve been worried about you, but Kyle said you’ve been doing some traveling.”

  “Yes,” I perpetuated his excuse for my absence. Then I said, “I’d like to introduce you to my husband, Dane Bax.”

  He removed his cap and extended his hand.

  Her jaw dropped.

  I continued. “Dane, this is Dr. Macy Stevens, Kyle’s aunt. She owns and runs the retreat. She’s been a huge help with the baby. And in general.”

  “Then I’m indebted to you,” he told her in an earnest tone. “I’m afraid our situation has been less than ideal. Complicated. And very difficult on Ari. But necessary.” His jaw clenched for a moment. “Regrettably.”

  I could see we’d stunned her. Obviously, from her expression, she knew who Dane was. Who he’d been. I had no idea of the appropriate connotation, since he was supposed to be dead yet stood here in her office.

  Ever graceful, she recovered quickly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” They shook. “And I’m so happy the two of you are together again.”

  It was evident she didn’t know what to say. I didn’t blame her.

  “It’s a rather long story,” I explained. “I didn’t know for some time that Dane had survived the explosion at 10,000 Lux. He was severely injured. Now he’s working undercover with the FBI. So I’m sure you can understand how imperative it is to keep his … existence … quiet.”

  “Of course.” She gave a slight smile, still looking a little confused and flustered but clearly trying to grasp the full scope of the situation. At any rate, she added, “Rest assured, both of you. Doctor-patient confidentiality is of utmost importance to me, but aside from that, as a friend, I certainly know how to keep a secret.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Stevens,” Dane said. “We don’t want to put you in any sort of compromising position, but I really wanted to be here today for my wife.”

  “I can imagine this hasn’t been an easy scenario for either of you. Please, have a seat.”

  Dane pulled out a chair for me at her small conference table.

  Macy told us, “We received a very generous donation this week, from your new foundation.”

  My brows rose. “Already?” Mr. Conaway certainly knew what he was doing. The man was quite the miracle worker.

  “Yes,” Macy confirmed. “Enough to bring in one more specialist for Chelsea so she has round-the-clock care, and all of her bills are covered for the next two years.”

  Dane shot me a curious look.

  “Chelsea is autistic and absolutely adorable. So loveable. I’ll tell you all about her later. Tell you why I did this.”

  “You don’t have to explain or justify,” he said, a hint of awe in his eyes. “It’s your money to do as you please. And if establishing a foundation to help autistic children is what you want to do, I’m one-hundred percent behind you. Proud of you, actually.”

  “Thank you.” I smiled.

  Macy clasped her hands in front of her, resting them on the table. “Her mother, Abby, would really like to see you soon, Ari. She’s so happy to be able to leave her night job and have some breathing room. She’s extremely grateful.”

  “I can’t imagine how challenging it must be, financially and emotionally, to have to rely on others to care twenty-four-seven for your child. I’m glad we could help.”

  “Chelsea would run away,” Macy said. “If Abby turned her back for even a second, Chelsea bolted for the door. She’d run right out into a busy street. It’s a wonder she was never hurt. And Abby lived in fear every day, every night.”

  I shivered. I couldn’t fathom that, either.

  “Clearly, Chelsea’s safer here,” I commented. “And seems to be doing so well.”

  “Much better. And now maybe Abby can get a little bit of her sanity back. Plus visit Chelsea more often with the freed-up time.”

  “I’ll be sure to hook up with her soon. For lunch, perhaps.”

  “She’d enjoy that.” Macy spread her arms. “Now, I understand you have an ultrasound awaiting you.”

  My stomach fluttered. I was thrilled Dane was with me today. “Yes, we do.”

  We all stood. Macy and Dane shook hands again and he thanked her profusely once more for all she’d done for me. I gave her a hug and apologized for the secrecy. She didn’t seem to mind. Seemed relieved, in fact, that I was no longer a single mom. Or alone, though she’d never known I was married until now.

  Across the hall, we went through the same thing with Dr. Preston. She didn’t quite regroup as fast as Macy, but I got the sense that that had more to do with her shock over my very gorgeous and rich husband. I couldn’t blame her for that, now could I?

  She slid me a look with big eyes and I grinned. “I know,” I simply said.

  Composing herself, she directed me to the exam table, and I lifted my shirt to reveal an ever-growing belly. Dane positively beamed. Lovingly and with great pride. He appeared to get a kick out of knowing our baby was making his or her presence known.

  “Everything looks fantastic,” Dr. Preston said at the conclusion of her exam, though she broke down some details for Dane’s sake, which I appreciated.

  He was thoroughly fascinated with the image on the screen. Riveted. As though seeing the baby inside me truly brought home the fact that we were having a child. He was utterly mesmerized.

  I laughed softly.

  Dr. Preston asked, “Would you like to know the sex?”

  Dane tore his gaze from the monitor and stared at me.

  “Makes planning easier,” I ventured.

  “We’ll need a nursery.”

  “Among other things. Many other things.”

  His emerald irises glowed with wonderment. He was a beautiful sight. My heart nearly burst with love.

  “I think I’d like to know,” he said.

  I smiled. “I think so, too.”

  “Okay, then,” Dr. Preston announced gleefully. “Congratulations, you’re having a bouncing baby boy.”

  My stomach flipped. Tears sprang to my eyes.

  An heir. Our firstborn would be a son.

  “That’s perfect.” I stared up at Dane. “So very perfect.”

  He reached for my hand, brought it to his lips, and tenderly kissed my fingers. Then he splayed my palm over his heart and said, “You’re perfect. And I love you so very much.”

  chapter 21

  My bliss was short-lived.

  Later in the afternoon, I met FBI agents Daugherty and Strauss. They came for Dane.

  I fought back the anxiety and the angst. He’d done so much already. I was pissed that they wanted—needed—more from him. Even as I thought of the hard drive in a safe-deposit box in a Swiss bank, I resisted the urge to say he’d given them all that he could and it was their job to do the rest.

  I resisted the urge to beg him to stay.

  Especially when they said it was too dangerous for him to return here until this was finally put to rest.

  “What does that mean?” I asked Dane.

  His hands cupped my face and he gave me a valiant grin. “It means soon. So just stay put, with Amano and Kyle. Because I’ll be back before you know it. For good this time.”

  Tears welled in my eyes and I tried to push them back, for his sake. He thought I was strong. I thought I was about to crumble at his feet.

  We’d had an entire weekend of normalcy. A longer, saner span of time than we’d had since last Thanksgiving, five months ago.

  A lifetime ago, as far as I was concerned.

  He kissed me and then said, “Just remember how much I love you and how much I want to come back to you—to our family.”

  The agents gave me their obligatory apologetic smiles. I turned away and walked out onto the patio.

  Kyle followed.

  “At the risk of sounding like a tool,” he said, “this blows. F
or you. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re not a tool. You’re stating the obvious.” I swiped at more tears.

  “Okay, at the risk of sounding like an asshole … you really could do so much better.”

  I laughed. “And now you’re a tool.”

  He chuckled along with me. “Had a feeling that one would get you.”

  I sank into a sofa and pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my arms on them. “I don’t begrudge him this duty. I just miss him every single second. Like … every single one.”

  “Yeah, that figures.” Kyle let out a long breath.

  I said, “You know he’s doing the right thing. No matter how painful it is for me or the bullshit it’s brought into our lives.”

  He was silent for a couple of minutes, then told me, “This is going to sound crazy, but when this is done … I’m not exactly sure where I’ll go from here. I mean, even the marketing jobs we talked about don’t hold much appeal. I’m used to being on my toes now. I spend all this energy being prepared for anything, and the adrenaline rush is pretty sweet. How am I supposed to clock in to an eight-to-five desk job?”

  I contemplated this, both alarmed at my best friend thriving on danger and comprehending it at the same time. The best advice I could offer was, “You’re young and feeling invincible. Something you lost when you blew out your knee and had to take a pass on a pro football career. That doesn’t mean you are invincible. But I will admit, you don’t suck at the bodyguard stuff.”

  “So maybe I have a higher calling than marketing.”

  My stomach clenched nervously. “Call it best-friend worries or new, maternal wariness, but I’m not really liking the sound of that.”

  “And yet you know I make a good point. Ari, I could sit in a cube all damn day photoshopping designs on a computer, or I could save a life or two. Maybe even yours.”

  “Not at the risk of yours,” I insisted. “Look, Kyle, I didn’t know Amano when he started shadowing me. It was his job, and he’s so loyal and dedicated to Dane that he clearly took on the assignment without a second thought. Unfortunately for him, I came with a bull’s-eye on my forehead because of my association with Dane. But as I’ve gotten to know him … I’m not all that whippy over the fact that Amano puts his life on the line for me all the time. I’m most certainly not happy that you want to do the same.”

  He stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and shuffled around a bit. Then he asked, “How do you really feel about your husband being all warrior-ninja-like?”

  “Similar to Amano, he’s good at what he does. He seems to know how to blend and hide and be all-around stealthy to get the job done. Do I like any of this? Hell, no. Do I trust him? Absolutely. But would I wish this on anyone?” I stared unwaveringly at Kyle. “Not a chance. And I don’t want you, one of the closest people to my heart, to do anything crazy, over-the-top, dangerous.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, but I interjected, “Don’t mistake Amano or Dane for being warrior-ninja-like and get some high off of it. They do what they have to do in order to stand up to the society and to protect me. The baby. Even you and my dad. I don’t want you putting yourself in that line of fire. For me or for anyone else.”

  He walked away. I debated the situation. Then I leapt to my feet, an idea popping into my head. I followed him into the kitchen. Amano was there, too, sipping espresso.

  “Perfect,” I said. “You’re both here. Let’s take a field trip.”

  They eyed me suspiciously. Kyle with a bit of angst brewing.

  Because I didn’t put him on par with Amano’s mad skills as a bodyguard?

  “Hey,” I said, raising my hands in the air. “Trust me.”

  * * *

  We drove down the street. As the wrought-iron fencing, lovely columns, and now-defunct lanterns came into sight, Kyle demanded from the backseat, “Why the hell are we here?”

  “Method to the madness,” I contended. “Give me the benefit of the doubt and work with me.”

  Amano pulled up to the security booth and lowered the window. “Hello, John.”

  I stifled a sigh of relief. I’d hoped John would be at the gate, knowing it would make this much easier. Relatively speaking. Only gaining access to the drive into 10,000 Lux would be easy. The rest would be monumentally, excruciatingly difficult. Painful.

  Amano gave a little song and dance about wanting to check on the property for purposes of comparisons related to insurance matters. John didn’t question the boss. He did make mention that he was glad to still have a job and that Amano had been right—it was a good idea to have the security gate manned to keep the lookie loos and media at bay.

  As we rounded a grove of sycamores and entered the wasteland that was 10,000 Lux … I couldn’t breathe.

  I wasn’t the only one.

  “Jesus,” Kyle muttered. “Holy fucking shit.”

  Amano parked the SUV where the valet area once existed. Right in front of the lobby of the Lux … that had once existed.

  I stared up at the gaping hole. I’d seen something similar before—the whole world had. I was instantly reminded of the huge void in the Pentagon after a plane had struck it on 9/11.

  It was the creepiest, eeriest, scariest damned thing just like the Pentagon. This massive destruction in the very center of a once-amazing hotel.

  We were lucky at the Lux, however. No one died. That did not take away from the devastation we stared at.

  I climbed out. Amano and Kyle followed.

  “I don’t understand why you wanted to come here,” Kyle said.

  “I just needed to see it,” I told him. My gaze didn’t waver. I took in the scene before me. Shattered glass, splinters and chunks of wood, exposed metal, mammoth pieces of jagged-edged stone and marble, wrought iron, scorched land … I shuddered. A lump of emotion swelled in my throat.

  To the west was the wing that had housed the executive offices. The very end still stood—where Dane’s suite was, right by the stairwell.

  My gaze shifted and fell closer to the destruction. Part of the gaping hole was my office. The beautiful one. So meticulously, thoughtfully decorated by Dane. The gorgeous space I had wanted my whole event-planning career and which I had loved fiercely.

  It was now obliterated.

  I thought of how wiping out brick and mortar, material possessions, and memories could shatter spirits as much as it could lives. So much so that it’d almost made me forget …

  The beauty of this place.

  The hard work we’d put into it.

  The dream that had been Dane’s.

  I let out a slow breath. Couldn’t pull in a full one. Tears crested the rims of my eyes.

  I turned back to the SUV. What had been the point to coming here?

  My hand lingered on the door handle of the passenger’s side. Something had compelled me. And I’d brought Amano and Kyle along with me.

  Facing to the ash and burnt grounds again, I wondered what the hell would ever become of something once so painstakingly tended to, something so magnificently built.

  “What are you thinking?” This from Kyle.

  I slid a glance toward Amano. He gave me an empathetic look.

  I asked him, “What will he do with this?”

  Amano seemed reluctant to say. It took him a few moments to answer, in fact. Eventually he told me, “Mow it all down and sell the land.”

  “But there are still buildings intact,” I pointed out. “The aquatic center and its two restaurants, the conference center and ballrooms, the spa and fitness center. What about the five golf courses and all the private casitas?”

  “Ari,” he told me, “if there’s no Lux for Dane, then none of this will exist for anyone else. Do you understand that?”

  “Yes, I suppose so.” I shook my head. “No. Not really.”

  Kyle repeated, “Why’d you want to come here?”

  “I don’t know,” I confessed. “I just wanted to see it again. I mean … haven’t you been curious?”
<
br />   He shrugged. “Sure, a little.”

  I returned to the SUV, again reaching for the handle. I still didn’t open the door. Glancing over my shoulder at the now-faded grandeur that had once held me spellbound, in complete awe, I said to no one in particular, “This wasn’t just some arbitrary place where we came to work. It was Dane’s vision and it became our vision. It was beyond comprehension in so many ways. He created something that inspired all of us. He built a legacy.”

  “Yes,” Amano agreed. “But clearly, this wasn’t a dream or a legacy that was meant to last. There were forces working against him. Now it’s all over.”

  Finally, I yanked open the door and climbed into the passenger’s seat. I felt sickened by what was left of so much hard work. And my husband’s dream. The rubble that lingered in the wake of our extravagant plans for pre-launch and grand opening activities.

  More than that, I hated that everything Dane had sweated over and bled for when it came to the Lux was now reduced to debris. The palace I’d considered more stunning than any other.

  Honestly, I wasn’t sure what had urged me to come here. There was nothing to gain from it, nothing to glean. Literally, it was what it was. A dream lost. One stolen, really, but devastated all the same.

  We drove back to the fortress and I changed into yoga pants and a tank top. I couldn’t sleep, though. I was restless and agitated. Maybe because Dane was gone again. And because I had no idea when I’d see him. If I’d see him.

  I hated the variables. But they remained constants in my life. Nothing I could change.

  With a heavy heart, I wandered into the living room, the reflection from the pool flickering over the inner walls of the archway-lined patio. It was quiet and peaceful. Tranquil. I liked the serenity because it reminded me of the retreat.

  I tried to not feel so lonely, since Amano and Kyle were there with me, though they were engrossed in whatever secret-service stuff Amano now allowed my best friend to participate in.