Love Drunk

by Marita A. Hansen

  “Nine years is a helluva lot different to twenty years.”

  Her upper lip twitched, Mindy again giving me a guilty expression.

  “How serious is it?” I asked.

  She glanced down at the floor. “I love him.”

  “Does he love you back?”

  “I think so.”

  “Did he actually say the words?”

  She nodded.

  “Then he does, cos Jasper wouldn’t say that lightly. So, what were you two gonna do? Keep fucking behind Fabian’s back?”

  “I wanted to leave with Jaz, just take off, but he refused to leave the club. If he’d just listened to me, he wouldn’t be in jail.”

  “The gang is Jasper’s life. He won’t ever leave it.”

  She grimaced. “I know, I know. He may love me, but he loves the club more.”

  “So, what are ya gonna do?”

  Her grimace grew. “I think I’m going to ask Fabian for a divorce, just leave out the part about why. I can always put it down to his infidelity.”

  “That won’t make a difference for Jasper inside.”

  “Maybe it will eventually. If I’m not with Fabian for a while, and he moves onto someone else, maybe he won’t go ballistic when Jaz and I get together.”

  “Fabian loves you. I don’t think he’ll let you go so easily.”

  “If he loved me so much, he wouldn’t need to fuck other women,” she replied, looking bitter.

  “I’m not making any excuses for him, but fucking is different from making love, and he does love you. I can see it on his face when he talks ’bout you.”

  “Well, he doesn’t treat me like he does, unlike Jaz.”

  “I still don’t think it’s a good idea you leaving Fabian for Jasper. Twenty freakin’ years, Mindy. You also have kids with Fabian. Think what this will do to ’em, and especially if you try to shack up with Jasper. That’s if Fabian doesn’t kill you both—or Jasper kills him. Jasper is even more dangerous than Fabian. He’s a stone-cold killer like his uncle.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, looking defensive. “What do you expect me to do, then?”

  “Tell Jasper you can’t continue what you’re doin’, that you should never have done anything with him in the first place.”

  Her bottom lip started to tremble. “But I love him so much.”

  “Enough to risk Fabian’s wrath, enough to split your family apart?”

  She started crying again.

  I stepped in closer, giving her another hug. She latched onto me, her sobs making me feel sorry for her. “How ’bout we put this aside for the moment and concentrate on how we can deal with this Phelia problem.”

  She let go of me, her normally sweet face turning vicious. “I want her dead.”

  I nodded, wishing Jasper had let Killer take care of her years ago. “It would definitely be no loss to the world. She’s a vile person. She deserves karma to smack her in the face. Lemme know if you need help to do it. Maybe I can talk to her—”

  “No, I don’t want her anywhere near you. Jaz told me how she also used to stalk you, and that she even took advantage of you while you were drunk, trying to get pregnant.”

  “Yeah, he told me ’bout that. Thankfully I don’t remember it.” I tapped my head. “Cos of the car accident.”

  Mindy sighed. “I can’t believe that psycho was hired as a prison guard. I bet she only took the job so she could take advantage of men who can’t get away from her. Regardless, I will find a way to get her out of the picture. Karma will come for that bitch, no matter what.”

  “I fuckin’ hope so. Anyway, I gotta go deal out karma to someone else. Just the next time you see Jasper, tell him if he needs anything from me, he just needs to ask.”

  She nodded. “Thank you, Dante.” She leaned forward, giving me a hug. “And good luck with what you’re doing.”

  I returned her hug, not needing any luck, because I knew Ash wouldn’t let me down.

  ***

  I jumped up the front steps of the rehab centre, the leathery-looking security guard stopping me at the door. “You’re not welcome back here,” he said.

  “I forgot shit,” I replied, still thinking he looked like someone I knew, but unable to remember who it was. “Just came to pick it up, then you won’t see my arse again.”

  He grimaced at me, but still stepped aside. “Make it quick.”

  “Sure, I’ll make it a quickie.” I blew the fucker a kiss and headed past him, hearing him swear behind me. I looked over my shoulder, pleased he wasn’t following me, though he was watching me from his standpoint at the door.

  I turned around and approached the desk. The Betty Boop receptionist looked up, also having her own personalised scowl for me.

  “I feel so loved,” I drawled, smiling at her, knowing it would rile the bitch.

  “What are you doing here?” she snapped.

  “I’ve come to lay a complaint against that snobby counsellor Simon,” I said, making sure I kept it down so the guard didn’t hear.

  “Why?”

  “He assaulted my woman.”

  She frowned at me. “Your woman?”

  “Clara.”

  Her perfectly drawn-in brows winged up. “She’s your woman now?”

  “You bet she is, and I’m laying a sexual assault complaint against Simon,” I said, as some people came around the corner. I glanced over to see who it was, finding Candy and Gerald heading for the reception. They stopped when they saw me, interest clear on their faces.

  “Listen up, everyone,” I said loudly. “Clara isn’t returning to work cos Simon sexually assaulted her.”

  The security guard cursed and stormed towards me. “Out!” he yelled.

  I stayed right where I was, wanting to make as much of a scene as possible. “So, you’re protecting a rapist over the victim? Simon assaulted Clara, he needs to be held accountable.”

  “Like fuck,” the guard said, grabbing for my arm.

  I whipped it back. “You can’t touch me, I have rights. I’m here to lay a complaint.”

  “If it happened, Clara should be laying the complaint, not you. And I’ve known Simon for a long time, he wouldn’t do something like that.”

  “Yeah, he wouldn’t pull her knickers down while she wuz sleeping and plant his face in her pussy. Oh, but he did, which makes him a fuckin’ rapist!”

  Gerald and Candy started talking between themselves, sounding shocked. More people came around the corner, my plan going even better than expected.

  “Simon isn’t a rapist, you’re just a lying vindictive prick out for revenge,” the guard spat, getting in my face, trying to intimidate me, trying the operative word, because the jacked-up pretender was failing.

  “I ain’t lying.”

  “Yes, you are! You’re doing this because you got kicked out of the clinic.”

  My eyes flicked to Clara’s friend. “Am I, Betty Boop?”

  She looked from me to the guard, then the others watching, her expression upset. “Clara needs to go to the police. This is about her, not you.”

  The guard snapped his head around to her. “What did you say?”

  She clamped her mouth shut, looking scared.

  “Don’t you fuckin’ intimidate her,” I snarled.

  His attention snapped back to me. “Simon didn’t do it.”

  “Yeah, let’s see how that plays out at the cop shop after Clara lays a complaint,” I said, hoping she would finally listen to me. I’d kept at it, telling her that if she brushed the incident aside someone else could get hurt, like what had happened with me and Ash. If I’d told my mum that my stepdad had raped me, Ash wouldn’t have been raped too. But Clara kept saying that our situations were entirely different, and that the more she thought about it, the more it looked like what had happened to her was a misunderstanding. Misunderstanding my arse, the guy took advantage of her, and I wasn’t going to let that fly no matter how much she wrote it off.

  My phone rang, probably As
h saying he’d completed the job.

  The guard clenched his right hand, looking like he wanted to plant it in my face. “Leave.”

  My phone stopped ringing, the call no doubt going through to voicemail. “Yeah, got places to be,” I said. “Like gettin’ back to my woman.” I levelled a look at him. “Clara.”

  “Just get the fuck out of here, you delusional prick.”

  “Not delusional, tellin’ the truth.”

  I saluted him and everyone else, then walked out with a smile, looking forward to hearing about how Ash had made Simon suffer.

  25

  Clara

  I got out of my car and rushed up the stairwell, almost tripping on the concrete steps, panicked over where Dante was. I’d rung all the numbers I’d been given, only his manager picking up, Mr. Park not knowing where Dante had gone. He’d snuck out without waking me, making me fear he’d taken off to get a drink. He’d been doing so well, staying sober since Kara had dropped off the whiskey. But now… I was terrified he’d fallen off the wagon, or worse, doing it with Kara, guzzling whatever she gave him. Because she was still ringing and turning up to see him, the woman not giving up.

  I rushed through the doorway, entering the main foyer of the record label. I crossed the marble floor and headed for the counter, out of breath, and so wound up I could cry. I stopped in front of the receptionist, who was an adorable-looking twenty-something with reddish-brown hair and a bow mouth painted a tawny colour. She also had a scar running down her right cheek. It looked like she’d tried to cover it with foundation, but the raised scar was too prominent to successfully hide. It didn’t make her appear any less adorable, just left a question in my mind as to how she’d gotten it. I just hoped it was from an accident, and not an attack.

  “Hi, Josie, is Dante Rata here?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “No, but he will be soon.”

  My heart leapt. “Did he call?”

  She nodded. “He said he had a coupla things to sort out first.”

  I exhaled with relief, though I still needed to see him in the flesh, to see that he was safe and sober, not walking in with slurred speech or holding a bottle of booze.

  “Is Dante causing you trouble?” Josie asked. “Cos you look proper stressed.”

  I grimaced. “He’s usually good, it’s just… He snuck out without telling me, which got me concerned he was up to no good.”

  She chuckled. “He usually is up to no good. That’s Dante for ya. Poor Mr. Park’s always running around tryna find him. I’m surprised you haven’t had more issues with him.”

  “Still, I’m really sorry.”

  She waved a hand at me. “Don’t be silly, you have nuthin’ to be sorry for, plus there’s no point in apologising to me, I’m just a receptionist. And if it makes you feel better, Dante went out with his brother. I wuz just chatting to my cousin ’bout it.”

  “Your cousin?”

  “Corey Connor. His modelling job got postponed due to some sort of hiccup, so he went to babysit for Dante’s brother.”

  “Is he related to Dante’s ex, Beth Connor?”

  Her face saddened. “Yes, her brother. I’m their first cousin.” She quickly swivelled around in her chair, bringing a shaky hand to her face.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, feeling bad for mentioning her dying cousin. “I didn’t realise you were related.”

  She swivelled back around and waved a dismissive hand at me, giving me a forced smile that didn’t match her shiny hazel eyes. “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault.” She indicated to the elevator. “You might as well wait in the studio for Dante. He shouldn’t be long.”

  I thanked her and headed for the elevator, stopping at the sound of my name. I turned to see who was calling me, spotting L running towards me in electric-blue knee-high boots. She was also wearing sleek white pants and a loose, flowing blouse with splashes of blue and yellow, reminding me of a Mondrian painting.

  She stopped by my side, giving me a brilliant smile, the woman… man… stunning. I’d been told she was intersex, and that she preferred to be called a he, but whenever I saw L, I couldn’t get past her feminine looks. She and her always popped into my head before I could correct myself. I’d tripped up numerous times using feminine pronouns with her, but luckily L never told me off for it, probably because she… he… was used to it.

  “Hello, Clara,” she said, brushing her orange and gold mane back. “I noticed you rang me. Sorry I didn’t call you back, I was rather preoccupied. My sister had a baby!”

  “Wow! Congratulations.”

  She bounced on her heels, looking ecstatic. “I can’t believe I’m an uncle! I’m so happy.”

  I smiled, feeling happy for her… him, the word uncle registering. I wondered whether I would ever get used to L using masculine words.

  “Anyway,” L said. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  “Oh, it was nothing of importance,” I lied, downplaying my earlier panic. “Josie answered my question.”

  L glanced back at the receptionist. “Poor girl, I feel so sorry for her.”

  “Why?”

  Her face saddened. “She was viciously attacked the same day her cousin got run over, that’s why she has the scar. She also lost another cousin last year, the man missing, presumed dead. So sad, he was only nineteen, while Josie’s not much older. Her and her family have been through hell.”

  My gaze flicked to Josie, my heart breaking for her.

  L exhaled. “I have so much admiration for that girl. She could be hiding away, too scared to show her face, yet she’s here, dealing with people constantly. Not that she shouldn’t show her face, she’s adorable even with the scar, I just know she’s self-conscious about it.” She waved a hand. “Anyway, enough chatter, I should get to work. Dante’s probably cursing me for not being on time. He doesn’t hold back when he’s annoyed, which he really should. He’s just lucky he’s hot and talented, or he’d be dropped with an attitude like that.”

  “Um, he’s not here yet, but he will be soon.”

  She scowled. “Well, he should be. It’s almost eleven.”

  “He popped out to see his brother.”

  “Ash or Sledge?”

  “Ash.”

  The scowl instantly left her face, the mention of Ash chasing it away. Without another word, she linked arms with me and directed me to the elevator. She pressed the up button, her nails short and tidy, no fancy polish in sight. I didn’t pull away, L always making me feel comfortable, which was unusual, since I didn’t usually like people in my personal space.

  She led me into the empty elevator. “I heard things are going really well with you and Dante,” she said, pressing the floor number.

  I nodded, unable to hold back my happiness over it. “Yes, we’re getting on wonderfully,” I said, wonderfully a major understatement, the sizzle between us growing by the day. “Dante’s remembering some of our past together.” My smile grew, those memories all good. “We’ve been having long chats about the things we used to enjoy together. It’s sparked some of his memories, not a lot, but enough to make him happy.”

  “That’s fantastic.” She winked at me. “Those Rata brothers are right catches. Gorgeous, gorgeous men. Fantastic people too. The best.” Her face went dreamy, L clearly thinking about Ash.

  I bit my lip, wondering whether I should say anything, then went for it, knowing life was too short for her to waste away on wistful thinking. “If you love Ash, you should go for it.”

  She let go of my arm as though I’d burned her.

  I winced, knowing I’d overstepped L’s boundaries. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, it’s just… You act around Ash like I act around Dante. And the thing is, Ash smiles at you like Dante smiles at me. You must be very special to get a smile like that, because that man usually looks at people like he wants to rip their heads off. He’s scary with everyone, but with you he turns into a pussycat. That’s got to mean something.”

  The elevator
stopped, opening onto another reception.

  “Follow me,” L said, heading out of the elevator.

  I did, hoping I wasn’t going to get a dressing down. She opened the door to her office, indicating for me to enter. I stepped inside, the spacious office overlooking the beautiful blue waters of Auckland Harbour.

  I turned to her. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”

  “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” she said, closing the door. “You’re right, I do love Ash. But he loves Tiana, the mother of his child.”

  “I thought that Beth Connor is the mother.”

  “Of his unborn baby, not his ten-year-old.” She brushed her orange and blonde hair back. “Angelo’s such an adorable boy. He’s going to be a heartbreaker like his father.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling sad for her.

  “Why are you apologising, there’s no need for it. I accepted a long time ago that I’d never have Ash. He’s been in love with Tiana since we were fifteen. We were all in the same class at Wera High. I fell head over heels the first time I saw him. He walked into the room and I was absolutely thunderstruck.” She shook her head, looking like she was remembering that day, her expression a little lost. “He was so beautiful; I couldn’t take my eyes off him. But he only had eyes for the pretty girls, first Jenna, then Tiana. Never me.”

  “But you’re gorgeous.”

  She gave me a self-conscious smile. “The problem is I don’t have something he wants.”

  “What?”

  “A vagina.”

  “Oh,” I replied, feeling a touch embarrassed. Although I knew L was intersex, I’d just assumed she had both sexual organs, like a hermaphrodite. After all, she did have breasts.

  She continued, “Which is another reason why Ash won’t want me.”

  “He still smiles at you like Dante smiles at me, and Dante mentioned you were thinking about having an operation to become purely female.”

  She bit her lip. “I want to, but it’s scary, and even if I do it, I still don’t think I have a chance with Ash. When Dante said that Ash should leave Tiana to be with me, I was screaming inside for Ash to listen.” She shook her head. “But I knew he wouldn’t. Ash is intensely loyal. He’s the type of man who’ll want the same woman until he dies. He won’t leave Tiana, even though he should. Don’t get me wrong, Tiana’s lovely, such a sweet woman, but she’s being unfair on Ash. He’s exhausting himself because of her, working himself to the bone just to keep them in a suburb that she wants to live in. And even worse, they’re constantly arguing over the arrival of the new baby. Apparently, Dante’s speech had a huge effect on Ash. He now wants to keep the child, unlike Tiana, who is insisting that it goes to Beth’s parents. I understand why she doesn’t want to raise another woman’s child, but she also needs to consider how much her inflexibility is hurting Ash. And I can’t say a word about it to her, because she knows I love Ash. In fact, the only person who doesn’t know I love Ash is Ash himself.” She let out a dramatic sigh. “He purely sees me as a friend, and thinks I see him in the same way, which is why he believes everyone is just being stupid when they point out I love him. He also treats me like a male, and he’s not interested in men.”