Secrets from a Happy Marriage

by Maisey Yates

  “She told me enough.” She desperately didn’t want further details on what was going on between Emma and her possibly-ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t her business. She didn’t need to know anything beyond what her daughter had offered up freely.

  “I don’t want to hurt her again,” he said. “It just took me a few days to get my head on straight.”

  “Is this going to be a pattern?” Rachel crossed her arms and regarded him. He looked tired. Much more so than someone his age should. She hoped that he was emotionally tortured by the whole situation. Because poor Emma was heartbroken, and if the boy wasn’t also heartbroken, then he didn’t deserve to breathe the same air that Emma did, much less speak to her.

  “No,” he said, certainty in his tone. “I’m a hard worker. I know how to do that. I know how to fix things when they’re under a hood. I don’t know anything about...loving somebody. But I’m trying to learn. Because I do love her. I just... I need to... I need another chance.”

  There was something about what he said that made her heart turn over. Maybe because she related to him a little bit too much. Not because she didn’t know how to love—she did. But because she didn’t quite know how to love Adam. Or how to accept that she might be in love. And she had handled it badly.

  Whether his age, or thirty-nine, she supposed that second chances would always be necessary. She didn’t know if he would find that comforting. But she did.

  She nodded slowly. “Well, if Emma loves you as much as I think she does, then I think she’ll be more than willing to give you that second chance. But don’t ask for too many of them. And when she needs one...give it to her. That’s all I ask.”

  She couldn’t say they were too young, because she had fallen in love at eighteen, and it had been real. A love that would stay with her always, even if the man hadn’t been able to stay with her as many years as she might have wanted.

  Whether they were destined for forever or not, he mattered. He would be part of Emma’s story.

  Every person you loved was part of the story.

  The story of the world, the story of the Lighthouse Inn.

  Jenny Hansen had come here for a second chance.

  Rachel had read the letters from Richard Johnson. He’d found himself while defending this place that she loved with all of her heart.

  The college students that had stayed here... They had found adventure, the beginning of their lives, she assumed.

  Rachel, Anna, Emma and Wendy were all part of the story of Cape Hope Lighthouse. Part of the history.

  A continuous thread in a brilliant tapestry that made a picture of life, of love, loss and hope.

  And it was up to them now to decide what picture their thread would make.

  It was up to them now to choose love.

  “She’s at the lighthouse.”

  EMMA

  “I thought I would find you here.”

  Emma turned and saw Luke walking up the hill toward the lighthouse.

  “Did my mom rat me out?”

  “Yeah. She did. I would like to pretend that I just found you because I knew you. But...she told me. She also said that if you threw me off the cliff and into the ocean she would deny all knowledge of my ever having been here.”

  “That sounds like my mom.” She hesitated for a moment. “Did you come to break up with me?”

  “No. I didn’t. I came to tell you that I love you, actually.”

  Emma stomach tightened. “Really?”

  “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m in awe of you, Emma. The way that you hope for good things. I had that beaten out of me pretty early. And learning to trust in the world again is... It’s weird. I’m not sure that I actually ever trust in love. No one ever gave me a reason to. Until you. I’ll come visit you. And I’ll be here when you need me. I’ll be here when you come back. I’ll wait for you. There’s no one else I want. No one else I want to be with. Now, you may be able to do better than a mechanic in a small town, but I’m never going to be able to do better than you.”

  Emma closed the distance between them, and kissed him, her heart thundering wildly. “You’re an idiot.”

  “Yeah, that’s my point.”

  “Nobody can do better than love. It’s the best. It’s what holds us all together. Trust me on that one.”

  “I do. I do trust you. And I’m going to need you to be patient with me while I figure all this out.”

  “I promise. Because I love you, and it’s worth it.”

  “I’m proud of you. I’m going to tell everybody that my girlfriend is on the East Coast going to school. That she’s following her dreams.”

  “It’ll be tough. Because one of my dreams will be back here waiting for me.”

  “I’m one of your dreams?”

  “You’re my favorite one. But I want to do everything.”

  “You can.”

  “Thank you for making me believe that.”

  She kissed him again as the sun sank into the water. And they stayed there until the lighthouse lit up the sky.

  RACHEL

  She didn’t want to meet in the diner. She didn’t want to meet at his apartment. She asked him to meet her on the beach, because she couldn’t continue pretending that what they had together was separate.

  No, she knew it wasn’t. Because she carried the pain of letting it go into her real life, and she carried her regret over the way that things had happened in her real life. And it was time to face up to that.

  To deal with the realizations that she’d been having over the past few days. Over the past few months.

  She didn’t know if he would come. She crossed her arms, staring out at the water, resolutely not looking back at the parking lot by the beach. The wind whipped past her ears, and she tightened her jacket more firmly around her body.

  And then she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Adam. He was wearing a coat, his hands stuffed in the pockets.

  “You came,” she said.

  “Of course I did.”

  “There is no ‘of course’ about it. After all the things I said to you... Especially about your family.”

  “Believe it or not, I have pretty ample experience dealing with wounded creatures. I know that they attack when they feel backed into a corner.”

  “I’m a wounded creature?”

  “Sure.”

  She would love to be mad about it, but he wasn’t wrong. Not entirely.

  “I’ve done a lot of thinking,” she said. “And I’ve done a lot of talking with my family. And I realized something. All I ever wanted was to be safe. I thought that getting married young, keeping my life, myself, my dreams here, would keep me safe.”

  “But it didn’t,” he said.

  “No. It didn’t.” She sighed. “I’m not the same woman that I was when I married Jacob. I’m not the same woman that I was all those years during our marriage. When we had to face worrying diagnoses becoming awful prognoses. When our roles shifted and I had to begin to care for him. I’m not the same woman I was at the beginning of that. I’m not even the same woman that I was when I had to face the fact that he was dying. ‘Safe’ was out of the question at that point. But I was going to lose him so much sooner than I thought. And I thought that I had a realistic worldview, a pretty clear-eyed vision of the truth that he and I wouldn’t grow old together. But it still hit so much sooner. So much faster. And I realize now that I would never have been ready. I’m not the same woman I was the day of the funeral. I’ve changed. When you go through something like that you don’t worry about little things. And then you quit worrying about bigger things. Like what you want, because all you focus on is what needs to be done. It’s been scary for me to deal with what I want. Because it’s so different than I imagined it might be. Because on some level it has felt like a betrayal of him. To admit that there is joy in hav
ing those pieces of myself back again. To admit that another man has captured my heart, and in a way that I didn’t expect.

  “But my heart is scarred, battle-scarred. And that requires a specific kind of love. And I think...as difficult as it is to think this, or try and work it out, I think that in some ways meeting you was me being prepared for what would come next. I saw what kind of man you were during that time. You did take care of me. Even then. And it was easy for me to think that I didn’t know you because we never talked about our lives. But I did. I knew you based on how you treated me. Every interaction we had, you made it about me. About making me feel good, without making me feel pitied, and no one else ever managed that, Adam.”

  She blinked, her heart swollen. “I think I’m falling in love with you. And I didn’t want to. I never wanted to fall in love again. It scares me, to want more. Because what I’ve done is keep my head down and grimly accept that certain kind of pain I was living in. Wanting something new, wanting something more... I’ve always been afraid to want too much, Adam, and I’m afraid this is too much. That you’re the right man, but it is the...wrong time.”

  “You don’t have to do anything but be with me,” he said. “Because I do love you, Rachel. I’m already in love. And I’ll wait. As slow as you want to take it. Until the time is right. Because if I’m right for you, knowing that... I can wait.”

  “I don’t want to take it slow. It sounds crazy, but honestly... I loved Jacob so much. I loved that marriage that we had so much, and for a while, I loved the idea of being free. But...love was never prison. I know it isn’t. Sharing your life with someone might be work sometimes, but it’s the best work. And that is the future that I want for myself. But not just with anyone. With you.”

  “I’m a big enough man that I can take you on, and your past. If you can take on mine.”

  “Yes,” she said. “Absolutely.”

  “I’m coming to you pretty scarred. This has been a rough few years, and I’ve got things left to work through myself. Because I can’t stop until I fix the relationship with Callie and Jack.”

  “Good. I think if we add our shattered dreams into one pile, we can work on fixing them. Together.”

  “Only if we can do it while we watch sports.”

  She huffed out a laugh, and she closed the space between them, wrapping her arms around him, and just holding him.

  They hadn’t made vows, not yet, but she was pretty confident that they would. And she knew that when they did, it would be different. Different than it had been when she’d been eighteen, standing there bright and new with the man she loved, not understanding what it would ask of them in the end.

  No, this was a man who had loved already. Who’d made mistakes with that love, and who wanted to be different. And she was a woman who knew that sometimes love would ask everything of you. And you would have to give it.

  And they were still choosing to love each other.

  And that was the bravest, brightest miracle she could think of.

  Rachel Henderson had known that she would be a widow for quite some time.

  But she had never guessed that she might be a wife again.

  And she had never guessed that she would find a sense of wholeness inside of herself. Not like this.

  But she had. And it was all because of love.

  The love that she had for Jacob. That she still had for him, and that she always would. The love that she shared with her family, a brilliant thread that had been there from the very beginning of her life, strong and unbreakable, no matter what happened to test and stretch those bonds.

  In the love she had never expected to find with Adam.

  The secret was love.

  It was that simple, and that hard.

  Love of every kind that made you weak, made you strong, made you brave and made you scared. Love that you chose, anyway, every day.

  Love that shone like a lighthouse on a hill, always there to guide you safely home.

  37

  I’m a single mother, and I don’t have experience in the hospitality industry, though baking has always been a talent of mine. What I lack in experience, I will make up with hard work. I’m willing to devote my life to this inn. I don’t know why, but I just know this place is meant to be my home. That feeling I had is something I want to give to everyone who comes to stay.

  Maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you. I don’t know why it should. Feelings won’t run a business. But I believe in my heart that love will. The love I have for my girls most of all. They need this new life even more than I do.

  All I want is their happiness.

  —FROM A LETTER WRITTEN BY WENDY MCDONALD TO THE UNITED STATES FOREST SERVICE, IN RESPONSE TO AN AD OFFERING THE CHANCE FOR ONE ENTRANT TO WIN THE CHANCE TO BE THE INNKEEPER AT THE NEWLY PROPOSED CAPE HOPE LIGHTHOUSE INN, JUNE 1987

  WENDY

  Summer was over far too soon. It meant that Emma was going off to Boston, and the cold weather would be with them again shortly.

  But Wendy wasn’t sad. She couldn’t be. Not now.

  They were having a big going-away dinner in Emma’s honor, and they’d had to get more chairs for the table, because there were no longer empty seats—it was overflowing.

  Adam was there, of course, and Rachel, with the brand-new ring that she had accepted from him only a week or so earlier. Emma’s friends Catherine and Prathika had come, and so had her boyfriend, Luke, who’d come bearing flowers.

  Luke was learning what it meant to be part of a family. Because whether he’d wanted it or not, he’d been pulled into theirs.

  Anna had made all the sweets for the going-away dinner—including a spread of Jenny Hansen’s breads, which made the past feel like it was right there with them. Anna was also working on getting a storefront set up in town. It would mean doing a little less work with her here at the inn, but it was all worth it as far as Wendy was concerned.

  She was so proud of the way her daughter was standing on her own feet. Of the life that she was building for herself.

  She had also seemed downright giddy the past few weeks. Wendy wondered why. And she wondered all the more when Anna paid much more attention to her phone that evening than usual.

  And as for Wendy...the house was full. And she couldn’t ask for anything more.

  There was a knock on the door, and she looked around the room, taking inventory of everyone in residence. They were all here. There was no one who should be looking for them, unless a guest had wandered over from the Captain’s House.

  She opened it.

  It was John.

  Her breath left her body in a rush. “What are you doing here?”

  “I went for a drive,” he said. “The road brought me here.”

  “All the way from California?”

  “It seems to lead here no matter where I start.”

  “I... Why don’t you come in,” she said.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Why don’t you join us for dinner?”

  He smiled, and he came inside.

  “I’ll get another chair,” she said.

  She came back in, and made introductions, putting him next to her. He held her hand underneath the table.

  Wendy McDonald looked around the room, feeling a sense of satisfaction.

  Life hadn’t been without its troubles, not for them.

  But in the end, they were together.

  And that was all that mattered.

  Across time, and geography, through sickness and health, death and new life, secrets and ugly truths, love was what mattered.

  Love rolled on, through the ages, through each one of them.

  And when they were another piece of history in this brilliant, wonderful place, and their story was pieced together through letters and journal entries, through photos and the memories of the next generation, their le
gacy would sing out like a golden thread in that great tapestry.

  Family. Forgiveness. Hope. Love.

  Through all of history, those things endured.

  And they always would.

  Epilogue

  Dear Wendy,

  Recently I stumbled across your post requesting tokens from the Lighthouse Inn at Cape Hope, from the era when the building was used as a dorm for the community college.

  I was a student there in the ’60s, and it holds a great many memories for me. Both painful and wonderful.

  These posts from you led to my reading about all that you’ve done with it, about how you raised your girls there. How you won your position as innkeeper with a letter.

  I was moved to tears by your story. And by the fact the lighthouse found you. And I believe in my heart that it did.

  There is so much to say, but I fear I could never write a letter quite so complete or stirring as yours.

  I have made a reservation to come and stay at the inn for a week at the end of this month, and I hope we get a chance to sit and talk.

  I have so much to tell you.

  With warmest regards,

  Susan Bright-Carlson

  —FROM AN EMAIL WRITTEN TO WENDY MCDONALD, SEPTEMBER 2020

  * * *

  If you loved Secrets from a Happy Marriage, read on for a sneak peek at Maisey Yates’s next book, The Bad Boy of Redemption Ranch.

  Available July 2020 from HQN Books.

  Acknowledgments

  I owe many thanks to the staff at the Heceta Head Lighthouse Bed & Breakfast in Yachats, Oregon, for letting me pester them with questions, and poke around the B and B so that I could satisfy my curiosity. To Nicole Helm for reading this book chapter by chapter as I wrote it, and giving her honest feedback as always. To Megan Crane, who read it when it was done and yelled at me because she loved a character so much, and felt she wasn’t getting a fair shake. That feedback changed some major elements, and the book is better for it. To my agent, Helen Breitwieser, for pushing my career in any direction I ask for her to, and for helping make this particular book a reality. The team at Harlequin, who is so supportive of me, and for that I’m truly grateful. And finally, I have to acknowledge my editor, Flo Nicoll, who edited this book with so much insight, and spent hours discussing such deep, meaningful things with me, helping me find the deepest parts of the emotion, and offering me her own wisdom on such tough subjects. Flo is a writer’s dream.