Mastering Love

by Morticia Knight

  Three months is good.

  “What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?”

  “I’ve known for a while that I always wanted more from a Master. But…”

  Already, fear had crept in. It had taken him over five years of submitting to two different men to realize he needed something additional to the experience yet still didn’t know exactly what it was. How could Ned uncover the answer to that in only three months?

  “But you don’t know what that is.”

  It was a simple statement, yet the tone in Ned’s voice was the same as it had been on their first night. It reassured Evan that together with Ned, he would help Evan find what he needed as a submissive man.

  “That’s right, Sir. That’s something I really need to figure out.”

  “Then it should be the main objective of our agreement.”

  Evan frowned. “But what if we don’t find out what that is in three months? Then what?”

  “I think you misunderstood the purpose of the agreement, beautiful boy.” Ned kissed his cheek then nibbled down to his chin, using his hands to wander possessively over Evan’s torso. At last, he spoke. “Our relationship will be an ongoing journey, one in which I hope we discover many wonderful things together—including all that you need as my submissive. The three months is there to determine if we blend well enough together before we make that journey permanent.” Ned took his mouth in a short but demanding kiss. “And to find out if you can trust me enough to fully submit.”

  Some of the terror, anger, anxiety and hurt inside of Evan lifted out of him at Ned’s words. Ned was serious. He was more serious and giving than any Master he’d ever met. Evan already knew that Ned would be strict, and he was grateful. Everything Ned had surmised about Evan needing a tremendous amount of care and attention resonated with him. In his heart, Evan knew that once the three months were up, it would be clear that Ned was not just the right Master for him—but the only Master for him.

  Evan wrapped his arms around Ned’s neck, hanging on but still gazing into his eyes. The heat outside no longer bothered him. All that mattered was the heat growing between them. He couldn’t help but note the gleam in Ned’s stare, the way the corners of his mouth were lifted in a contented smile. He bit at his lip. If only he could get his thoughts to quit swirling around in his head in confusing circles, he and Ned could stop talking and do other things. It was obvious from sitting on Ned’s lap that his Sir was ready to stop talking too. But Evan had to know at least one more thing. Or maybe two more things.

  Ned had started lapping at the skin of his neck, sometimes dipping to his collarbone, and it made it hard to think. Evan sighed.

  “So, what if the three months are over and you still like me, but you’re not ready to make it permanent? Then what?”

  Ned chuckled against Evan’s shoulder on which he’d been busy sucking up a mark. “You’re so trapped in your head. My lips are working magic on you, but you’re still thinking about something that won’t happen for another three months.” Ned stuck his tongue in Evan’s ear, teasing it before withdrawing. “I’m here with you now. Be with me, Evan.”

  “I know, Sir, I know. It’s hard for me, and I know you can help. But…”

  His anxiety resurfaced, and he saw how Ned regarded him.

  “Then let’s answer any questions you have so you can give yourself to me without worry. I need you quite badly.” He chuckled again, shaking his head as he stared at Evan. “My God, you’re so beautiful. And me? I’m a fool.” He pressed a kiss behind Evan’s ear before continuing. “If the three months are up and either one or both of us are unsure of a permanent arrangement—yet we don’t want to part—then we’ll simply make a new agreement until we know for sure.”

  Evan nodded, some of his worry easing. “Okay, that’s sounds good. So when do we start deciding on what to put in the agreement?”

  “Hmm. Let’s see—green vegetables, ropes, definitely a gag…”

  Evan smirked at him. “Don’t make fun, Sir.”

  Ned favored him with a sincere look. “I might tease, but I would never mock you. That’s one of many things I wish to prove to you. But I want to save all the deciding until we’ve taken care of a few other things first.”

  Evan nodded. Ned was right. For one, they should probably be polite and go back to the party. “What things?”

  “I want you to gather your possessions together so I can bring you home with me.”

  “Home?” His heart jumped. Evan hadn’t expected that. He’d assumed they’d meet at the club until Ned knew for sure there’d be a permanent arrangement.

  “Of course. It’s imperative that you’re with me all the time so I can attend to your every need. You’re my boy now and I already know that you require a tremendous amount of attention, structure and care.”

  Evan’s arousal grew at Ned’s words. There’d been a hint on their first night at what else it was Evan desired from a Master, and what Ned had just stated reinforced it.

  “Should I go do that now?”

  “In a little while. First, I need to mark you as mine before we do anything else.”

  “M-mark me?”

  Ned’s eyes darkened. “Mark you with my teeth, lips and tongue. Then claim you from the inside with my seed.”

  Evan’s breath stuttered, his dick straining. “Should we go to the house?”

  Ned yanked his head back by his hair. “I’m starting with you now. You’re mine, boy. The only thing between you obeying my every wish and command is one word. What is that word?”

  The sharp pull on his hair, the force with which Ned had grabbed him—it jolted him back to that place in his core where he knew he needed to be with a man who controlled him.

  “Mercy, Sir.”

  “Such a good, precious boy. Now take off your clothes.”

  Evan blinked rapidly. They were outside. There was a party going on back at the main house. Anyone could come and check on his welfare at any time.

  “Are you disobeying me?”

  “N-no, Sir. I’m not.”

  Ned loosened his grip, then Evan climbed off him. He stood, but the loss of their physical proximity to each other was already an ache he couldn’t bear. Ned relaxed against the bench, arms draped over the wooden seat, his legs stretched out before him with his ankles crossed. The way Ned reclined indicated he expected a show.

  “Go slow.”

  Evan’s fingers trembled as he worked the buttons of the soft cotton tank. He hadn’t the slightest idea how to entertain a man without specific direction. He needed something beyond the word ‘slow’.

  “You’re still in your head, boy.”

  “I want to touch you.”

  He was startled as to where his words had come from. Surely Ned would think he’d gone mad. Something about the dominant man coaxed things from him almost unbidden. It reiterated how Ned was so perfect for him. He’d stopped taking off his clothes when Ned had first spoken, and he raised his eyes to see what his lover’s reaction to his random comment was. Ned didn’t appear ruffled at all.

  “That’s why you’re not experiencing what’s happening to you right now. You’ve retreated into your head, searching for what it is you want, perhaps even wondering what it is I want? All you need to concern yourself with right now is doing as I’ve asked. Take your clothes off slowly. Don’t think about it, simply do it.”

  Evan lowered his head, slipping one side of the tank off.

  “Eyes on me. You have my attention. I want yours.”

  He glanced up, gazing at his lover, intent upon following Ned’s orders and nothing more. His breathing became faster and he noted that Ned’s had increased too. All he was aware of was Ned and how they were joined together even though they weren’t touching. A warm breeze caressed the end of his exposed dick, cooling the wetness that had gathered there.

  The moment was broken as Evan realized he was completely naked. Somehow, his clothing had been tossed aside, and he had to run the past few mo
ments through his mind to recall removing them.

  “Evan. Back with me.”

  He snapped his head forward to face Ned. “Sorry, I…”

  “Shh. That was excellent, I’m very pleased with you. Now stay right there. Don’t move. I wish to look at you.”

  He trembled as if he was cold, but it was the sheer excitement of being so exposed, so vulnerable. The caress of Ned’s gaze was as erotic as his fingers.

  “Get in your stance. Show me how confident you are of your fine form, your stunning cock. If others were to look upon you now, they’d be so impressed that I have such a lovely boy for my very own. They’d want you because you’re so beautiful, but they can’t have you because you’re mine.”

  He was going to come. His nuts were tight and hugged his body. Ned’s desire for him, the possessiveness, the suggestion that Ned was so proud of him that he would show him off had Evan dizzy with want. His posture remained straight, his gaze fixed on Ned. But his length strained to his belly, leaking and throbbing.

  “Hold on to it, Evan. Just like the rest of you, that orgasm belongs to me. I want your ass before you spend, and I’m going to take it right here. Right now.”

  As Ned rose, Evan whimpered before he could stop himself. It was all so crazy. Ned had effortlessly reached inside of him and uncovered a desire Evan had never realized he’d wanted so much. He wasn’t shy and had taken to his Master’s requests for nudity when they’d gone to a club, but it hadn’t occurred to him it would be so exciting to know others watched him.

  Maybe even watching me do more than just stand naked.

  Ned approached him, still dressed in the now rumpled and dirtied suit, but he made no move to remove his clothing. He stood within a few inches of Evan, but didn’t allow their bodies to touch.

  “You said you wanted me?”

  “Yes, oh God, yes, Sir.”

  “I want you more.”

  Evan’s eyes widened, his thoughts lost as Ned took his mouth in a bruising kiss, yanking him to his body as he did. He gave in to Ned’s demands, going limp in Ned’s embrace. His overly sensitive tip scraped against the rough weave of the linen fabric, and he groaned as Ned continued to explore him with his tongue. Ned pressed his lips against Evan’s repeatedly, changing angles as he moved in for one kiss after the next. The action told Evan more than Ned’s words could. He was wanted.

  Evan let loose a small sob when Ned broke the connection. If he could crawl inside his lover and stay there, he would. No matter what, he had to prove his worthiness to Ned.

  “Sir, I don’t want to disappoint you, but I’m so close. Please…”

  Ned regarded him, his expression intense as if what they were sharing was the most important thing in the world. It was to Evan. Ned kept one arm wrapped around his waist as he brought his other hand up to cup his cheek.

  “The only way you could ever disappoint me would be if I thought you didn’t care whether you pleased me or not, if you didn’t try.”

  “I’m trying, Sir. I promise I am.”

  Ned leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips before continuing to speak. “I know you are, boy, so how could I possibly be disappointed in you?”

  “I…okay. Thank you, Sir.”

  Ned lowered his hand to Evan’s ass. He gave it a firm squeeze, then allowed his fingers to tease along his crack, the light brush along the seam taunting him. Ned didn’t attempt to part him, he merely suggested with the tips that it could happen. He sucked in a stuttering breath.

  “That doesn’t mean you won’t be punished if you disobey me though.”

  Evan tensed up, and Ned narrowed his eyes.

  “Tell me, boy. That will be one of the main ingredients that I must insist upon for our agreement. Complete honesty, no hiding feelings. That will be on my part as well as yours. It will be fair.”

  “Please don’t leave me alone, Sir.”

  “Leave you alone?”

  “Make me sleep apart from you or go away, leave me behind because I was bad.”

  Ned’s expression changed from one of impassiveness to an obvious compassion as he drew his eyebrows together. He pulled Evan into a full embrace, gentler than he had been moments before. He kissed his neck, his face as he kneaded his flesh, stroking him with soothing movements.

  “I won’t abandon you. I promise.”

  He made a promise to me this time. Things are different.

  “Were you punished by being cast aside when you were with you other Masters?”

  Evan inhaled Ned’s intoxicating scent. It comforted him. “Never with Thomas, only with Gabriel.” Emotion welled up in him. “That should’ve told me something about him, about us. I should’ve known.”

  Ned kept caressing him as he spoke. “Perhaps. But did you really understand at the time what giving yourself to another man truly meant? Was he the one who told you that his way was the only way your relationship could be or else he’d leave you for good?”

  Evan didn’t want to ruin their reunion by giving in to what his regret had sparked in him. He buried his face in the crook of Ned’s shoulder, his words partially muffled.

  “I don’t know, Sir. I’m not sure. I get so confused with the thoughts in my head. I can’t get them to line up the way I want them to. All I know is that I don’t want to be alone. Ever.”

  “Good, boy. Very good.” The caresses continued.

  “How could that possibly be good?”

  “You opened yourself up to me, shared with me some of your vulnerabilities with those few sentences. I’m honored by your willingness to do that when I violated your trust only recently.”

  “Well, I…” Ned was right. Evan was also thankful that Ned continued to acknowledge his own mistakes as well.

  “But you still need to determine for yourself whether your fast attachment to me is genuine or if it only exists out of your fear of solitude.”

  Evan clutched at Ned’s jacket. He knew in his heart that his feelings for Ned were real. He could admit that they might not be enough to carry them forward into a future together, but he didn’t doubt their veracity.

  Time.

  He had the promise of the three months, along with more if they both hadn’t decided for sure at the end of the first term. It was such a good idea to have an agreement. He didn’t know why no one had ever thought of it before. If they had, he’d certainly never heard of it.

  “I hear those wheels whirring and grinding, precious boy.” Ned’s lips were next to his ear, his voice low and calming. “Tell me what you need from me. And remember, you can cry mercy at any time.”

  Evan lifted his head then leaned back to see Ned better. “Why would I cry mercy when we’re only talking and embracing, Sir?”

  Ned smiled at him. “Because mercy isn’t only about stopping physical pain. It’s about anything that might make you feel uncomfortable. As your Dominant, it’s my job to uncover what it is about what we do together that you either fear or don’t like. Then you can decide whether you want to keep on going, save it for another time or never want to do it again.”

  Evan furrowed his brow. It made sense, and he liked that Ned had a way of including him in on determining what worked for him and what didn’t. But he still couldn’t imagine what it was about what they were currently doing that would make him want to cry mercy.

  “You’ve softened, boy.”

  Evan’s cheeks heated. “Sorry, I guess it was all the talking. I got distracted.”

  Ned placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “The very second I mentioned punishment, you went flaccid. Now that I know the source of your fear, I’ll never reprimand you by pushing you away.” Ned jostled him. “Perhaps no candy? I know how you like sweets.” He smiled—a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Or I could restrain your cock in a way that wouldn’t allow you to come until I let you. The greater the offense, the longer the length of time before you could find release.”

  “B-but, wouldn’t it hurt me?”

  Ned stroked circles over his back. “I w
ould never do anything that actually harms you, Evan. As it so happens, I spotted a wonderful device the first night I came back to the club. A Master had his boy restrained in what looked like a tiny cage.” Ned chuckled. “It was quite ingenious, as a matter of fact. He’d obviously attached it prior to his boy getting aroused. It was clear to me that if his boy hardened, it would prevent an erection.”

  Evan cringed. “Okay. You’d definitely have my obedience with the threat of that, Sir.”

  “Then that’s acceptable?”

  “It’s up to you. You’re the Master.”

  “Yes I am, but what I meant is, when we draw up our agreement, will you allow that to be on the list of punishments you agree to? I can also put in writing the ones that aren’t acceptable—particularly anything that either literally leaves you alone or with the impression that you are alone.”

  Evan liked the whole agreement idea better all the time. “Yes. You can put that one in.” He also considered the enormity of what they were doing. “This seems like an awful lot of work. It could take us days to decide everything.”

  Nodding his head, Ned appeared contemplative as if considering Evan’s words. “Very true. But I suppose everything we’re doing right now is a work in progress, hmm? Regardless of whether we encompass everything in our agreement right away, the most significant thing has already been decided.”

  “What’s that, Sir?”

  “If you say the word ‘mercy’, everything stops. That alone will help us both learn about the dynamic of our relationship more than anything else. That’s why it will be so very important that you’re honest enough with me to use it when you have to.”

  “Thank you, Sir. I feel so much better.” Evan hugged Ned close, nuzzling his neck, inhaling him in.

  “Do you still want me, boy?”

  It seemed like a silly question, but Evan realized he’d ground things to a halt when he’d become so worried about a potential punishment. He wasn’t sorry—it was good they’d talked about it. He was more secure than ever that Ned really had his best interests at heart. But did he still want Ned? That was the easiest question he’d ever been asked in his life.