Cross My Heart
Page 25
“I love that you don’t listen to anything I say.” I roll my eyes.
He scoffs. “I listen to everything you say.”
“Okay, well, maybe you listen to the most important things,” I clarify.
He grabs his notebook, leans back in his chair. “I love that you tell me the important things.”
“I love that half the time you don’t want to hear them, but then, like, two weeks later you tell me I was right.”
He smirks. “I love how you’re purposefully keeping me from Hawthorne.”
“I love how you’re purposefully keeping me from macular degeneration.”
“Then stop arguing with me and get to work,” Parker says sternly, the faint trace of a smile behind his eyes.
A cool breeze rattles the tree above. Red, yellow, and orange leaves fall from its branches, sprinkling the sidewalk and table. I pick one up and twirl it between my fingers, watching it dance. When I lift my head, Parker is watching me, his dark eyes shimmering and alive.
“I love your eyes,” I tell him.
“Not as much as I love you.” He watches me closely, a hint of a smile playing at his lips, teasing.
My cheeks flush with heat and I lean forward, grabbing his notebook and pen. I write carefully beneath his steady, block print, smiling at life and its little ironies. The knowns and the unknowns. The goods and the not-so-goods. The ups and downs: the never-ending see-saw that is a relationship. Because the truth is: Parker Whalen changed me. He taught me to cry, to love, to forgive. He taught me that sometimes truths are complicated, woven deeper than we could ever imagine. He taught me to let go. To hold on.
And that what’s real . . . is all that will ever matter.
♥ ♥ ♥
An Interview with Katie Klein
So where, exactly, did you get the idea for CROSS MY HEART?
The idea for CROSS MY HEART came to me one night when I was out driving with my family. It was fall, and getting darker early (which is always a really depressing time for me, since I live for spring). We were listening to the radio when "November Rain" came on (Guns n Roses). I love the song, anyway; I remember the music video, and it's one of those classics that always seemed to speak to me.
I sat there, listening to the lyrics, singing the parts I knew, and I started thinking about what I was hearing: When I look into your eyes, I can see a love restrained / but darling when I hold you don't you know I feel the same / We both know hearts can change / It's hard to keep an open heart. . . .
And that's where I got the idea for Jaden, a girl who (like me) hates the winter. She's focused and driven, and she doesn't really have time for what we would consider "normal" teenage things. She has a boyfriend, but she's never really learned to love anyone.
Parker and Jaden are probably the last two people we would ever expect to manage a successful relationship. As the story unfolds, though, it seemed so natural for the two of them to fall in love. Each is exactly what the other needs; as much as they can't (or don't want to) admit it, they're perfect for each other. Love is about taking chances, and, to me, that's what the song (and the story) is about.
In one of the early drafts, Jaden and Parker actually talk about "November Rain." The scene was eventually deleted from the final manuscript, but it went like this:
“Are you being nosy?” I nod toward the leather CD case clutched in his hands.
“Just trying to figure out who you are,” he explains. He keeps turning pages.
I reach for my seat belt and pull it across my lap. “I thought you already knew who I was . . . smart, boring, pathetic.”
“Yeah, well, you like Guns n Roses, so you can’t be all bad,” he says, perusing the titles.
“Check that. I like ‘November Rain.’”
“Good song,” he says, nodding.
“Best rock song ever.”
“Best guitar solo ever.”
“Best music video ever,” I add.
“Vaguely poetic, even.”
I smile. “So, where to?”
I heard that CROSS MY HEART was originally going to be a screenplay.
Yeah. That was the goal, anyway. I had it in my head that I wanted to give screenwriting a try, and so I began what was the first draft of the story in the fall of 2008. I made it about halfway through, and I liked the story so much I decided to turn it into a novel. I think I may be too long-winded to be a screenwriter. That's not to say I'll never try my hand at it again, but I'm thinking I'll get the same result: a novel.
But that was over two years ago!
I know. CROSS MY HEART was one of the hardest stories I've ever written (or at least it feels that way). This is because I went through so many rounds of revisions. The original manuscript capped out at almost 110,000 words. By the end, I cut it down to about 76,000. There were more scenes related to wedding planning, and a character was completely cut. The ending changed at least three or four times, and I had a really hard time deciding what Parker's secret would be. At first, I was really focused on the troubled parts of Parker's life—his poverty, his sketchy past, the trouble with his dad, etc. My original intent was for Jaden to help him out of that; to change him.
Yeah, that was a pretty big plot twist you threw in.
I know. I couldn't help it. It was one of those "Ah-Ha" moments. I was having trouble with a current project, and emailed a writer friend for help. We were talking out some plot issues, and she made the comment about one story (that shall not be named) being really similar to another story, only with guns.
I knew I wasn't happy with the CROSS MY HEART ending, but I wasn't really thinking about that story at the time. That night I was in bed, trying to sleep, only my mind was racing. I was thinking about my characters in general, and I asked myself: "What would happen if I gave Parker a gun?" At first I went the cliché route: "Well, maybe he's in a gang after all, and it gets them both in trouble." But then I decided that Parker was going to be one of the "good" guys. The twist as to who Parker really is adds an entirely new element to the story. It's not that Parker doesn't want to be with Jaden, it's that he can't.
This "Ah-Ha" moment happened at 1:30 in the morning. I spent the next day revising.
How's that for not giving away too many spoilers?
Not bad. I noticed you're pretty big on symbolism.
Yeah, I guess. There's always some kind of hidden message or deeper meaning to find. For instance, the idea of "glitter" plays an important role. It's kind of fascinating, how glitter seems to improve or enhance something, even as it's embellishing reality. When the story opens, Jaden is admiring her poster, but the glitter serves as a metaphor for her life: she's hiding who she really is. A few chapters later, we see the glitter on the poster fading. This is one of the first signs that Jaden is changing. Any time something glitters or sparkles in the story (even the characters' eyes), there's a deeper connotation. This wasn't my original intention, but as I revised I could see a clear theme running through the story: that beneath the layers things aren't always what they seem.
I didn't intend for this to happen, either, but the first two times Parker sneaks over to Jaden's house, he's the one who climbs inside to meet her. At the end, she steps out on the roof to meet him. It's definitely a "meet me halfway" kind of thing, and I like that she took that huge step so she could be with him.
There are other things, too, including a few connections to Ethan Frome, but that's just the literary geek in me coming out.
You know, you can actually find a hidden meaning in anything if you look hard enough. I didn't write the symbolism in on purpose, and it's not something I look for as a reader; these are just a few things that jumped out at me during the final read-through(s).
Describe Jaden's relationship with her family.
Jaden is unique in that she's the only girl and the baby of the family. Of course Daniel, the oldest, is going to be over-protective of her. And even though he picks on her a lot, it's clear that Phillip cares about her, too. They both want
what's best for her, but these are two entirely different things. Daniel wants her to stay away from guys (or anything that could hurt her), period; Phillip wants her to be happy—to not be such a control freak.
Jaden has a good relationship with her mom. She's mature for her age, and she knows what she wants. This also plays into her relationship with Sarah. Jaden knows just what to say to make someone feel better; she may be driven and focused, but she's a good friend and person.
Her relationship with her dad is pretty complicated, I think. He's always busy, and doesn't exactly make time for her. This is another reason why Daniel steps in and takes over. More than anyone else, he acts like the father figure, even though he's only a few years older. In the end, Daniel and Phillip are the big brothers (I think) every girl wants to have. As their creator, I love them both.
I wish her dad would've just fixed her faucet, already.
I know, and I was surprised this part of the novel took on so much meaning. Throughout the entire story, Jaden is begging someone (anyone!) to fix her faucet. The truth is: her dad lets her down. He's not doing it on purpose, but he struggles when it comes to things that are really important (like family). When Parker steps in and fixes the sink faucet for her, I think, more than anything else, this is his way of letting Jaden know that he'll always be there for her, and that she can depend on him.
The idea for the leaky faucet came from the house I was living in at the time I was writing the first draft of this story. There was no hot water handle for the bathtub, and so I had to use a wrench to turn on and shut off the valve. It was kind of a pain.
CROSS MY HEART seems like one of those stories you have to read twice to really "get."
Possibly. I think if a reader starts the story over knowing the outcome, they'll see the clues that lead to the resolution. I've scattered some hints throughout. I hope they're as surprised and happy with the conclusion as I am.
Yeah, you seem like the "happy ending" type.
I love a good love story. I enjoy characters who are really struggling with something, and I love when it works out for the best in the end, even if it doesn't seem like it will at the time. I'm a fan of angst, and drama, and love conquering all.
I just write the type of story that I would want to read, and hope there are others out there who are interested in them, too.
So do Jaden and Parker live happily ever after?
That's up to the reader to decide, but I have it on good authority that they're doing quite well these days. (smiles)
You already mentioned "November Rain." What other songs made it onto your playlist to represent this story?
My playlist for this novel consists mostly of emo, angsty boy songs. I think this has a lot to do with Jaden and Parker's feelings for each other, and how torn and confused they both are.
In no particular order:
"Fix You" (Coldplay)
"Never Say Never" (The Fray)
"Possibility" (Lykke Li)
"Half-Life" (Duncan Shiek)
"Sideways" (Citizen Cope)
"Long Time Coming" (Oliver James)
"Secrets" (One Republic)
"Mystified" (Rocco Deluca and The Burden)
"Untitled" (Simple Plan)
"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" (George Michael feat. Elton John)
"They'll Never Know" (Ross Copperman)
"Almost Lover" (A Fine Frenzy)
"Gone Away" (Lucy Schwartz)
"Slow Motion" (David Gray)
"Fly Away" (Ross Copperman)
"All We Are" (One Republic)
"Someone to Save You" (One Republic)
"Bed of Roses" (Bon Jovi)
"Make You Feel My Love" (Adele)
"This Year's Love" (David Gray)
There's actually a lot of Parker in these songs. I think this is partly because I spent most of my time trying to figure out what his deal was. Or maybe it's because I developed a massive crush on him while I was writing. Yeah, it happens.
That's, um, weird. What are you working on now?
That is a secret, but as soon as I'm ready to share, you will be the first to know.
That's not vague at all. So how can I keep up with you?
Right now I have a blog at http://katiekleinwrites.blogspot.com/
I love to hear what readers think about my stories, so feel free to comment or drop me a line any time.
Also, if you enjoyed CROSS MY HEART, I hope you'll consider telling others about it. Post a blog, give it a rating on bn.com, or leave an Amazon.com or Goodreads review; post a link on Facebook, or tweet about it. . . . There are plenty of ways to spread the word.
(Just be careful about posting spoilers! We wouldn't want to ruin the surprise for anyone.)
I write for my readers, so when you guys stop reading, I'll stop writing. As long as there's a demand, though, I'll continue putting out books.
So you're really not going to tell me what you're working on now?
My lips are sealed.
About The Author
Katie Klein is a diehard romantic with a penchant for protagonists who kick butt. She currently resides on the East Coast and is hard at work on her next YA novel. She is also the author of the THE GUARDIAN, a YA paranormal romance, and maintains a web presence at: http://katiekleinwrites.blogspot.com.