When the Storm Breaks (Lost Stars)

by Emery Rose

  Even my publicist, Naomi had called from L.A. to discuss it with me. As if Brody’s arrival needed security clearance. “I don’t want to be blindsided. Is there anything I need to know about him?”

  That had pissed me off. Like she fully expected me to dish the dirt and share all the intimate details of Brody’s private life. “Only that I care about him and he’s a good man.” I’d answered. “That’s all you need to know.”

  The funny part? When I’d told my management team that I wanted Acadian Storm to open for me in North America, nobody had even questioned it.

  “I thought you would have put up a fight,” I’d told Marcus.

  “Acadian Storm is a good draw. Your fans will love it. And that’s what it’s all about, Shiloh. Keeping the fans happy.”

  It was a funny thing in the music industry. Short of murder and rape, everyone loved to watch rock stars behaving badly. As long as they gave the fans what they wanted, they were golden. And Dean… he knew exactly how to please a crowd. He was, after all, the master of deception. And I knew why Naomi and Marcus were thrilled at the prospect of having Acadian Storm open for me. It created the type of controversy that sold tickets and got everyone talking about us. While I was with Acadian Storm, some of our best concerts were on the nights when we were all at odds with each other. Our fights and anger had fueled our music and critics had declared our performances ‘electrifying.’

  But I didn’t want to think about Dean or Acadian Storm or the rest of my tour. I wanted to enjoy my time with Brody while I had him right here next to me. It made me so happy to see his smile and listen to his laughter.

  When someone is important to you, their happiness is a priority. And Brody was so important to me. I never wanted him to feel like he didn’t have a place in my life. I could handle our time apart as long as we were on the same page, striving for the same thing.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Brody

  It was day three in the big-ass villa on the Mediterranean. For the most part, it had been chilled and relaxed. I got along fine with Bastian and Hayden. Bastian was what I’d call your quintessential rock star. He claimed to be a recluse, yet he surrounded himself with people. He loved Shiloh but not in a romantic way, thank fuck. And Shiloh had assured me they’d never slept together. Now that I was here, I could tell they hadn’t and that they really were ‘just friends.’

  This afternoon, it was just me and Shiloh poolside. A few of the others went out on a boat and Hayden had informed us that Bastian was hiding out in the cinema room and didn’t want to be disturbed. I thought I was bad, but the dude was moody as fuck.

  “You thirsty?” I asked Shiloh.

  “Mmm.” She nodded, her eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, a sheen of sweat on her skin as she baked under the French sun. She was wearing a tiny black bikini held together with strings I’d untied with my teeth earlier.

  She lowered her sunglasses, and her grays met my browns. In the sunshine her eyes looked clear, not stormy. For a brief moment, I felt like she could see straight into my soul and see every dirty secret I kept buried inside.

  Had we met before? In another lifetime?

  I shuddered, trying to shake off that weird deja vu feeling I got around her sometimes. Nobody had ever gotten under my skin like she did. Nobody had ever made me feel like I’d found the one thing I’d been searching for all my life. Sometimes, I didn’t know what the hell to think about that.

  “Is there any water out here?” She glanced at our empty bottles on the table.

  “I’ll go inside and get some.”

  “Thanks, babe.”

  I chuckled. “Anytime, babe.”

  I grabbed my phone from the table under the umbrella and left her lounging by the pool. The house was quiet, no signs of life, as I strode across the terracotta tiles, swiping my thumb over my phone. Lila’s face appeared on the screen, her smile big and wide. It was four o’clock my time and nine o’clock their time. Since it was a Sunday morning, the whole family was together. “Hey B. Just in time. You have to see this.”

  She flipped the camera and I watched Levi take a few steps toward Noah who was kneeling on the living room floor with outstretched arms. I smiled at Levi’s attempts to walk. He looked like a drunken sailor. Jude was off to the side, phone in hand, no doubt taking a video.

  “Come on, Levi,” Noah said. “You can do it.” Noah kept moving back, widening the space as Levi lurched toward his big brother, a big gummy smile on his face. He fell down, his knees hitting the rug and for a minute it looked like he was about to burst into tears.

  “Cowboy up, Levi,” Noah said, making me chuckle. That’s my boy. “You can do it.”

  After a second, Levi pulled himself to his feet and practically ran the rest of the way into Noah’s arms. “You did it! You’ll be playing football and riding horses with me in no time.” Noah pulled him into his arms and carried him around, hooting and hollering, “Yeah, you did it!” The way he was carrying that poor kid, with Levi’s face smashed against Noah’s stomach and his legs dangling, it couldn’t have been comfortable.

  Jude and Lila were laughing, celebrating a milestone in their son’s life. Jude took Levi from Noah and held him up in the air above his head. The picture returned to Lila who was still smiling like a proud mother.

  “Did you tell him the news yet?” Jude said in the background.

  Lila’s smile grew wider and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the good news she was about to deliver. “We’re having another baby.”

  “Well, damn. That’s a shocker.” She rolled her eyes. “When are you due?”

  “February.”

  I did the math. She’d waited until she was three months to announce the news to me. It shouldn’t have mattered to me one way or the other, but I couldn’t help feeling hurt that she’d waited so long. Should have been used to it by now. She’d done the same thing when she was pregnant with Levi.

  “Congratulations.”

  Her smile dimmed. “Thanks. I would have told you sooner but…”

  “I get it. You wanted to wait to make sure everything was okay.”

  She nodded and changed the subject. “How’s it going? Are you having a great time?”

  “Yeah, it’s all good.” I leaned against the granite counter in the big-ass kitchen, the stainless-steel gleaming and the air scented with freshly baked bread compliments of Chef Kristoff. A massive bowl of fresh fruit sat on the island. Next to it was a cheeseboard with at least twelve different cheeses, French baguettes and hand-dipped chocolate-covered strawberries the size of my fist. This was how the other one percent lived. “Is Ridge doing okay? Not giving you any trouble, is he?”

  “He’s been great. We love having him here. He’s still asleep. But he’s working this afternoon.”

  Ridge was staying with Jude and Lila for the week. He and Patrick still hadn’t mended the rift, and back in June after their falling out, Ridge had gotten a job at the barbecue joint we took Kate to for her 60th birthday. “Does Noah wanna talk?”

  “To his daddy? Always,” Lila said with a soft smile as if she felt I needed the reassurance that my boy hadn’t forgotten about me.

  She called his name and within seconds his face appeared on the screen. I held the phone in front of me and listened to his voice as he chatted a mile a minute, filling me in on every little thing that had happened in his world in the three days since we’d last spoken.

  “… and Mommy took me shopping for back-to-school clothes. Oh, and I got a new pencil case and a Spider-Man backpack. It’s black and red with a big, gigantic black spider on it.” His eyes widened and I smiled. He’d gotten into Marvel movies this summer and Spider-Man was his favorite. “I’m gonna be in the first grade.”

  “What a big shot.”

  That cracked him up. But all I could think was, where the hell had the time gone? How could he be going into the first grade already? I still remembered him as a baby, taking his first steps like Levi just had. I
rubbed my hand over my chest. Whenever I was away from him, I missed him like hell.

  We talked for another five minutes and then he said he had to go get ready because they were taking Levi on a bear hunt. And they were having a big picnic at the lake. So we said our goodbyes and I told him I’d see him the day after tomorrow. Kids were always eager to get on to the next thing so saying goodbye was never hard for Noah like it was for me.

  I slid my phone into the pocket of my boardshorts and walked over to the glass refrigerator that held the drinks. It was filled with imported beers, soda and exotic juice drinks. Champagne, white wine, rose. I grabbed a bottle of beer and a couple waters from the bottom shelf then straightened up.

  “Oh yeah.”

  No sooner were the words out of his mouth when two hands groped my ass and squeezed. The bottles dropped to the ground. I spun around, grabbed the asshole by the collar and slammed him against the wall next to the doorway. My fist smashed into his face and I kept on punching, so fucking blind with rage, I couldn’t see straight, let alone stop to consider what I was doing.

  “Brody! Stop. What are you doing?” She grabbed my arm, trying to pull me away from the guy. “Let him go, Brody.”

  Her voice finally reached my ears and she yanked on my arm and dragged me off the guy.

  “The fuck was that?” the guy snarled, wiping his bloody lip on the back of his arm. “He a friend of yours?” he asked Shiloh.

  “Yes. He’s… my boyfriend,” she replied, her voice faint, unsure like she had no fucking clue how this could be true. “God, Kevin, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

  “What are you sorry about? You weren’t the one punching the shit out of me.” His eyes narrowed on me. “Looks like your boyfriend is homophobic.”

  My jaw clenched and I tried to breathe through my nose, but I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. My stomach was churning and if I didn’t get out of this kitchen right the fuck now, I was going to lose my shit. I brushed past Shiloh, not even sparing a glance for the asshole, and strode out of the kitchen.

  Shiloh chased after me and grabbed my arm to stop me. “Brody… what happened?”

  I shook my head and shook off her hold, striding away. I needed some space. The walls were closing in on me. Once I got outside, I grabbed my keys from the table next to the lounger and strode back the way I’d come, right past Shiloh and out the front door. She chased after me and grabbed my arm. I shook off her hold on me.

  “For fuck’s sake. I need some space,” I gritted out.

  “Just help me understand what happened.”

  Fuck that. I couldn’t even begin to help her understand. I couldn’t even look at her face, not wanting to see her hurt and disappointment.

  I climbed into the car and slammed the door shut. Then I took off and left her standing there.

  I drove as fast as I could, trying to outrun my memories. Windows rolled down, music blasting, I tried to drown out the noise in my head. Too bad it didn’t work.

  It was almost midnight when I let myself into the room. Shiloh was sitting on the balcony, silhouetted in the moonlight, a glass of wine in her hand. I stood in the open French doors and stared at the moonlit sea.

  “Where did you go?”

  “Doesn’t matter.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I was just driving.”

  “For eight hours?”

  I moved around her and leaned against the banister facing her. Even in the moonlight, I could see that she’d been crying. “Why have you been crying?”

  She sniffed and wiped away the tears with the palm of her hand. “I’ve been crying for you.”

  “For me? Why would you cry for me?”

  She shook her head a little, not willing to tell me why. “What happened?”

  I cleared my throat. I couldn’t tell her the truth. I didn’t want her to look at me differently. But I owed her something. “I’m not homophobic.”

  She nodded. “I know you’re not. Otherwise, I could never be with you. I just wanted us to enjoy our time together. I should have never brought you here. It would have been better if it had only been the two of us, spending time alone.”

  “That’s not how real life works. And none of this is your fault. You had this trip planned before you ever met me. I didn’t mean to fuck everything up for you.” Fuck, it was the last thing I’d wanted.

  “You hate this life, don’t you?” Her voice sounded so small and so sad.

  “No. I don’t hate it.”

  She laughed. “Sure you don’t. We’re so different here. I want things to be the way they were ...”

  “That’s not how it works.”

  “I know. I guess I’m greedy. I want my cake and I want to eat it too.”

  “And I want you to have your cake with whipped cream and a fucking cherry on top. Shy, I don’t want to screw everything up for you. I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted.”

  “Does that mean I can have you too?”

  “You still want me? Even after the stunt I pulled today?”

  “You think I’m going to stop wanting you just because you drove away and left me for a while? That’s not how it works.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “Why did you beat up Kevin?”

  His name was Kevin. Fucker. “He grabbed my ass.” I shrugged one shoulder like it was no big deal. “Caught me by surprise. Guess I overreacted.”

  “No, you didn’t. Nobody should have their ass groped by a random stranger. You felt violated.”

  “Is that how it felt for you that night when you were sixteen?”

  “Yeah. But I didn’t want to let on how much it had freaked me out.” She set down her wineglass and stood up from her chair then came to stand in front of me. She took both of my hands in hers and gave them a squeeze.

  “Do you feel that?” she asked quietly.

  I looked down at our joined hands. How could I not feel it? There was an electric current running between us. “What is it?”

  “It’s me. And you. Just… don’t freak out when I tell you this, okay?”

  I huffed out a laugh. “If you’re going to tell me you’re a witchy woman, I already know that.”

  She let out a breath. “I can feel your vibrations, Brody. And I know… I know that something bad happened to you. I can feel it, but I can’t see it clearly… I…”

  I yanked my hands away from hers. “Just fucking stop doing that.”

  “I can’t help it.” She began crying again. I knew she was crying for me and I fucking hated that. I pulled her against me so she couldn’t see my face, and she wrapped her arms around my middle, resting her cheek against my shoulder. I held the back of her head, my hand sliding into her hair and rested my chin on the top of her head. We stayed like that for a few long moments, her hot tears soaking the cotton of my T-shirt.

  “Don’t cry for me, baby. Please don’t.”

  “I can’t help it. I love you, Brody.” She pulled back and lifted her face to mine. “I love you,” she whispered.

  It seemed like a strange time to say those three little words. I loved her too, I knew I did. But I wasn’t ready to say it. Today I’d felt like I was still that same fucked-up kid I’d been all those years ago. I’d relived a memory that I thought I’d dealt with a long time ago. All because some asshole grabbed my ass. But this time I was bigger, and I was stronger, and I didn’t have to take shit from anyone. Nobody got to touch me without my fucking permission.

  “Are you in love with me?” she asked.

  “What do you think? You’re the mind reader.”

  She laughed a little. “Will you fight for me, Brody? Will you still be here when the going gets tough?”

  “I’m right here.”

  “But you walked away from me earlier. I wanted to be with you.”

  “I came back. And I’m right here.”

  Too many people in Shiloh’s life had let her down, and I didn’t want to be another one of those people. I didn’t want to f
ail her.

  “What happened to you, Brody?” she pressed. She wasn’t about to give up on this.

  “Nothing. I just went for a drive…”

  “Not tonight. What happened to you when you were young?” I tried to pull away, but she grabbed my hand. “Brody. Please. I need to know.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “I trusted you with my secrets.”

  “This is different.”

  “How?”

  I hung my head and rubbed the back of my neck. “I don’t want you to look at me differently. I don’t want you to…” Pity me. Cry for me. Think of me as weak or a victim. None of which I had ever wanted to be.

  “Treat you like a victim? Feel sorry for you because you had a shitty childhood?”

  There she went, reading my fucking mind again.

  “I want to know you. I want to know everything about you. You’re the one, Brody. My Maw Maw did a reading for me on my thirteenth birthday. And I asked her if I’d find my one true love. She said our paths would cross many times… You saved me in that bar when I was sixteen. You did that for me before we’d even met. And you rescued me again when I hit that deer and felt so lost. You were there. Let me in, Brody. Let me be the one you confide in and share your secrets and dreams with.”

  “You think I’m your one true love?”

  “I know you are. I’ve known it from the start.”

  I took her hand and led her inside. “Come to bed.”

  “Why?”

  “So I can talk to you in the dark.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Shiloh

  We were lying on the bed in the dark, his face shadowed from the moonlight. Him on his back and me on my side facing him, our hands clasped, fingers entwined while he told his story, his gaze directed at the ceiling.

  “When I was nine, I was put in foster care. The couple that took me in were really religious. They had crucifixes all over the house, always said their prayers before meals. Church every Sunday. They had two kids of their own. Both special needs. And the mother … she spent all her time looking after her kids. Both parents did volunteer work at the church. The father… he was a youth leader.” Brody huffed out a laugh. “When I was a kid, I was scared of the dark. If I didn’t have a nightlight I couldn’t sleep. I kept picturing myself in a closet, suffocating in the dark and it freaked me the fuck out. The first time the man came into my room, I’d been living there for about a month. It was the middle of the night and I woke up and it was dark. I was freaking out, screaming and sweating and shit. And he came into my room and locked the door and said everything would be okay. That he’d protect me. It was so fucked up.”