What Once Was Mine

by Krystyna Allyn

  “Little girl, don’t speak to me as if you’re my equal. Your dad is trying to make an effort to get to know you is all.” I hate it when she calls me little girl. I’m not eleven.

  “Good for him, but I’m not interested any longer.”

  “Well, if you’re going to be like this, then he and I will just have to visit you.”

  “No way. I don’t have time to deal with him or you. I’m trying to get settled here and you’re making this difficult.”

  “Yeah, that’s a better idea. I’ll speak to your father and have him make the arrangements.”

  “Don’t even think about it, Mother. You and him especially, are not welcome.”

  I hang up the phone because I no longer want to deal with her. I heard the knock at the door a second ago, but I didn’t immediately answer it. I figured having my full attention on whoever was there instead of being distracted by nonsense was a better option. I’m a woman and I live alone, so the chances of murder are high, even in a town such as this.

  “Can I help you?” I shout, using my best tough girl voice. I glance through the peephole and the guy has his face covered. All I can see is the dark hair on the top of his head. Slightly panicking, I press my back against the door.

  Why? I have no idea. I never said I was smart.

  “Covering your face like a weirdo won’t stop me from calling the cops.” Good threat, but it would be effective if I had my phone in my hand instead of throwing it on the couch in anger.

  “Open up. It’s me,” he says, as if I know who the hell this guy is. Maybe this is a test the landlord gives all new tenants to weed out the dummies. Whoever lets a criminal in can be booted the next day. Hmm. I should double-check the fine print in my lease.

  “Yeah, I’m not opening the door, buddy. This may be a friendly town, but I wasn’t born yesterday.”

  There. That’ll show him.

  “Let me in, Sparkle.”

  At the sound of my fake name, I gasp.

  “Cole?”

  This can’t be right. Why is he here? How did he find me? I’m not sure how long I stand there, dumbfounded. It couldn’t have been too long because a second later, I’m facing the first man who saw me, not as the broken girl I’ve been in the past, but as the woman I can be. Or maybe I already am her, strong, independent, and ready to take on the world.

  I open my mouth to ask these questions, or say something, but I don’t get a chance. Kissing silences the chatter. And, boy, does he kiss me. It’s as if he’s both angry and happy to see me. I go with it, matching his conflicting emotions. He bites my lip, I nibble at his and, when his tongue shoves down my throat, we both groan.

  Reflexively, I wrap my legs around his waist, the door slamming behind me. Somehow he’s able to yank my “lick me” tank down, exposing my breasts. Carrie bought me this outfit as a gag gift for my birthday a few years ago and this is the first time I’ve worn it. I usually sleep in a simple nightshirt, but I somehow left the entire box of my bedclothes at my mother’s place. She probably hid it from me out of spite

  “Cole,” I groan, the moment his lips wrap around my nipple.

  “Where’s your bed?” He breathes while switching to the other breast. This time he slowly laves his tongue in a circular motion, nipping at the hard peak.

  “Straight back. Last door on the right.”

  What the hell are we doing? Neither of us has said so much as hello.

  Cole is deliciously hard.

  To use a cliché phrase from one of my many romance novels, he’s so hard, he could hammer a nail with his dick into wood.

  How exactly do I know this?

  Because I’m grinding against him like a cat in heat. I’ll blame the shock of seeing him again after all these months as the reason I pounced.

  One minute, he’s walking me into the room; the next, I’m flying through the air and landing on my queen-size mattress. He took a chance tossing me because the streetlight filtering through my sheer shades was the only thing illuminating the space.

  We both stare at each other, panting, waiting to see who will make the next move. As if we both reach an unspoken accord, we take our clothes off as fast as we can. Cole lands on top of me when he’s completely naked. I open my legs to accommodate him, his cock already prodding at my entrance before I have a chance to adjust my position.

  “I missed you, Sparkle,” he surprisingly admits before entering me. “So much.”

  I meet him thrust for thrust, moaning. “Me too.”

  The first time Cole and I had sex was on the floor at the entrance to the hotel room. The urgency was similar to this evening, but at least we made it to the bed this time.

  Suddenly, he pulls out of me, flipping me to my stomach. I yelp when he slaps my ass, pushing himself inside me again. He knows this is my favorite position because it allowed me to control the pace and take my own pleasure.

  This time, it’s a dual effort, him gripping my waist while he fucks me, me rearing back to meet each and every thrust.

  Like before, our sex is wild and crazy, and when he reaches around, stroking my sensitive nub, I shatter, calling out his name and begging for more.

  Shortly after, Cole growls. “Fuck, baby, so good,” he says while he rides out his own release. When he’s finished and I’m spent, he collapses on top of me, his arm hooking around my waist to pull me close.

  I’m not sure how much time passes before the silence is broken, but he says something first.

  “Marley, huh?” He chuckles, the sound coming out as a pant. A round of unintentional quick and dirty sex does that to a person.

  “Yeah,” I agree, equally as breathless.

  We both remain quiet for a beat, him holding me, me trying to figure out how to break the silence.

  “So…” We both blurt out at the same time, laughing afterward.

  “You first,” Cole whispers in my ear, resting his chin against my shoulder.

  “This is a bit …”

  “Awkward, I know.” He skims his fingers along the curve of my waist and I manage not to shiver. I remember how insatiable he was, but for now, we should talk.

  “No. I was going to say unexpected. How did you find me, anyway?” I shift my position to turn and face him and, when my eyes meet his pale gray ones, a look of confusion fills his expression.

  “Find you? I should say the same thing.”

  Now I’m confused, so I ask, “What are you talking about?”

  Without warning, Cole bolts up from the bed, appearing angry. We’ve literally said less than a full paragraph to each other, mostly communicating through sex noises. Therefore, there’s no reason he should be upset. And, what the hell, he’s leaving?

  “Something wrong?”

  This is supposed to be the part in the movie where the woman admires the man’s ass as he walks toward the bathroom to clean up after sex. Unfortunately, my view is of a scowling Cole yanking up his pants.

  “Look, Spark —” He pauses, “I mean, Marley.” He runs a hand through his dark hair as if he’s trying to find a way to let me down easy. “I shouldn’t have kissed you as soon as you opened the door. My intentions were to talk.” He takes in a sharp breath. “But you had that outfit on and the look in your eyes …” He trails off then, finally, questions, “Can you at least tell me why?”

  At his question, I remember how we ended things. More, how I walked out on him without so much as a word. Perhaps it’s more than that. I mean, the guy is pissed.

  No matter how many times I claim I’m evolving, becoming this new person, I’m still the same scared little girl. I hold onto things I shouldn’t and push people away when they begin to get close. Running out on Cole that morning couldn’t be helped; however, not leaving my phone number or telling him my name was a huge misstep.

  A normal person would address the elephant in the room. But as I sit here, post-sex, I go the opposite route. Cole represents change, and I'm confident I’ve had my fill for a while. I won’t succumb to him, even
if he’s good in bed.

  “I haven’t the foggiest idea what you’re talking about and, seriously, Cole, this doubletalk is getting old.”

  “I don't recall you being this frustrating the night we met. In fact, I rather liked your personality. The girl I met was funny, sweet, and gave good advice.”

  He snatches his shirt from the arm of the chair, pulling it over his head, eventually shoving his feet in his shoes.

  “I thought we had a connection back in New York, but I guess I was wrong.”

  “So, basically what you're saying is “thanks for the quick fuck and have a nice life”? You came to me, Cole, not the other way around.”

  Cole opens his mouth to speak, but I wave him off. No sense in hearing the many other ways he believes I screwed him over. Silver lining, I don't have to lay eyes on him any longer.

  “Great to see you again, Cole,” I say snidely, yanking the sheets off my bed to cover myself. “Safe travels to your next destination. Oh, and no need to worry about pregnancy. I'm on the pill.” He has the courtesy to wince at my statement, knowing full well the mistake he made.

  No. It was our mistake ...

  “I’m clean,” he admits, answering my unspoken question.

  Then, after staring at me for what feels like an eternity, he strides to the doorway of my bedroom.

  “Answer me one question. If I hadn’t come to your apartment tonight, would you have avoided me?”

  It's my turn to be silent. I’m still not sure what he’s on about and I’m too angry to care. My nonresponse obviously wins me no points against his temper, considering the glare he flashes me. Seconds later, the front door slams, and I groan, rubbing my face with my palm.

  What happened to the nice man who took my breath away?

  Like me, he was playing the part of bar hook-up. It’s a good thing I know the real-world version of Cole, no dim lights blinding me to his lies.

  After finding my robe laying on my dresser, I throw it on, making quick work of removing the rest of my sheets, and tossing them on the floor. I’d prefer my bed not to smell like his cologne.

  No longer in the mood for a movie, I decide to head to bed early. As I shut off all the lights, I happen to glance out of my partially-open living room window. I’m unsure what made me turn in the direction. However, when I do, I catch sight of a shadowy figure facing my window. Striding the two steps forward, I lean my head in the direction of the opening, squinting in the hopes of discerning who is standing outside watching me. Unfortunately, my focus is broken when I manage to trip over my shoe and lose my balance, my hand against the wall breaking my fall. When I look outside again, the person is gone.

  Weird.

  Perhaps I’m seeing things. I’ve been in town for a week, and the only person I received a bad vibe from was that mountain-man looking guy. I think his name was Carlton.

  The windows at my apartment with my mother faced a brick wall, so I was never concerned about peeping Toms. To be on the safe side, I’ll stop by the hardware store after work on Friday and have Lenny help me pick out some blinds.

  Speaking of my mother, she followed through with her threat of visiting me by texting an image of her flight information.

  Two seats.

  It seems my bio dad will be making an unwanted appearance along with my mom mid- September.

  Goodie.

  I’ll need to shore up my emotional well-being by scheduling some extra visits with the psychiatrist.

  After a quick shower and new sheets on my bed, I relax, processing the past couple of hours. I had sex with Cole again. Only this time, he left me. I realize he was holding some residual ire against me, but he didn’t have to be so harsh. Here’s hoping I never run into him again.

  .

  9

  Here We Go Again

  Bro tip #21

  Make-up sex doesn’t cure everything. It often makes it worse.

  Cole

  “Motherfucker.”

  I curse at the desk drawer I slammed my knee against while inching forward in my chair.

  To say the last couple of days have been awful would be the understatement of the year. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Marley and her dismissive attitude towards me after we had sex. I’m usually the one who can move on, but she hurt my pride.

  I took my frustrations out on Lenny on Thursday, to which he told me to take a chill pill and left for the day. I can’t blame him for the early departure. I was an asshole. What I didn’t expect was for him to tattle to my mom about my unpleasant behavior. That was a fun phone call with her. She advised me about Lenny’s two-day strike and how she fully supports it.

  There was yelling, and she hung up on me, and has since been ignoring my calls. I went to her place for Thursday night dinner to apologize, but I was promptly turned away by Asher. My mother went as far as bringing Mason in on ‘Project Ignore Cole’ for the day.

  Don’t let the gentle expression fool you. She can be a maniacal one when she has to be.

  By Friday morning, my anger ebbed and I called Lenny to apologize. I told him it was woman trouble, but didn’t give any details. To my surprise, he accepted, claiming he was bored and was coming to work anyway.

  Now, it’s late afternoon, and my throbbing knee is doing its best to spark my residual anger with Marley.

  “You cool, boss?” Lenny shouts, the sound of his footsteps an indication of his closing in. He stands in the doorway, assessing my demeanor.

  “Fine,” I growl through clenched teeth. “The desk just decided to cripple me is all.”

  “Yikes. That sucks. Once, I hit my shin on a metal bed frame, and I swear the pain was so horrendous, my spirit left me immediately after the blow.”

  “That’s not a thing, Lenny.”

  “It is.” He places his hand over his heart as if he’s about to recite the pledge of allegiance. “A friend’s cousin’s sister’s boyfriend had it happen to him before, and he saw his own body below.” Lenny shakes his head. “What I’m saying is I feel your pain.”

  I smile at his nonsense, the first time since seeing Marley again. Last night, I toyed with the idea of visiting her apartment using the excuse of returning the locket but changed my mind. I didn’t want to chance another fight with her, another opportunity for her to treat me like shit. Go figure that Lenny would be the one to cheer me up with his random ramblings.

  “What brought on that expression?” Lenny raises a brow.

  “Nothing.” I rise to my feet, meeting him at the entrance to my office. “Enough chit chat. You’ve been gone for two days, and we have a shit ton to catch up on.

  “Right away, boss.” He gives me a quick salute, then turns towards the front.

  The limited traffic is a blessing while Lenny and I sort through the maintenance requests, which went unanswered while he was out, prioritizing them. It’s not that I couldn’t handle them on my own. I’d be forced to close the store while out on the call, losing money in the process.

  “Can you stop at the B&B tomorrow? I know it’s a Saturday, but the air conditioner is on the fritz again and Ms. Adams has been calling since yesterday. I feel like a tool ignoring her, especially since this is the end of her busy season. The rest of these requests are minor and can wait until next week.”

  “The morning is best. I have plans in the afternoon and my mom won’t take to kindly with me changing them. Saturday bingo with the girls is a big deal in the Waters’ household.”

  Lenny flashes a grave expression, oddly shivering as if he’s broken this rule once and the consequences were dire. I find it hard to believe his gentle mother is the type to put the fear of God in him. I’ve met her and she's been nothing but a ray of sunshine. I suspect it’s where he gets his pleasant personality. Still, I acquiesce to his request.

  “I’ll be sure to tell her. Thanks for accommodating.”

  I was seconds away from mentioning another project for Lenny to handle when the jingle from the bell at the store entrance brings my a
ttention to the door. Taylor walks in, smiles at Lenny, and scowls at me.

  I’m not surprised by her reaction. I didn’t return her call two days ago and, in true Taylor style, the first thing she does is let me know her displeasure. I regret leaving the gesture of friendship between us unresolved. What can I say? I’m an idiot. Then there’s the Marley disclosure to contend with. Not like anything will ever happen between the hazel-eyed devil and me again. Still, with the two of them working together and becoming fast friends, I’m bound to come up in the conversation.

  I’m so screwed.

  “Hey, Lenny.” She gives him a warm greeting. “Cole.” She says my name as if plotting my murder.

  Sensing the tension between us, Lenny frowns.

  “They’ll be none of that today.” He folds his arms across his chest. “Tell her you’re sorry, Cole.”

  “What makes you think—”

  “Do I have to call your mother again? She and I are best buds.”

  Taylor’s body shakes with laughter, and I glare at them both.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally admit. “I didn’t mean to ignore you. I’ve just been in a weird place for a couple of days.” I’m so focused on Taylor I don’t notice the new person entering the store. That is until Lenny makes her presence known.

  “What’s up, Marley, girl?”

  Oh, shit.

  She hasn’t noticed me yet, I consider sprinting to my office, but that plan is shot to shit the moment her gaze meets mine.

  If the expression on her face was a book and the look in her eyes were words, her story would be a series of emotions gutting anyone reading the tale, the main plot her hurt and anger.

  “This is Cole, my boss” Lenny graciously introduces me to Marley.

  “Marley’s also my assistant,” Taylor proudly says. “She’s been a godsend since starting last week and the kids absolutely love her.”

  “You work here?” She says with no pretense. Why should she have to act like this is the first time we’ve met? Luckily Taylor doesn’t pick up on it.