Witches Get Stitches

by Dakota Cassidy

  I couldn’t take it anymore, and part of that had to do with his crazy plan to get a look at Mellie’s body. It was making me a nervous wreck.

  “Win, this seems like a waste of time. I don’t see Egan Joseph so far, and mostly it’s just been a bunch of Mellie’s students from the high school where she taught. Certainly no reporters have shown up. I don’t even see Jeb and his wife.”

  “Patience, Stephania. Spying isn’t always about the crash and bag. It’s about waiting for the right moment to make a move. I haven’t gotten to her body yet. I need to see this hole you described. It might give me a clue.”

  “Because you’re a doctor now?”

  “Well, once, when in the outer regions of Papua New Guinea, I was able to help remove a bullet from my fellow spy, Hans Auer. Were he here, he’d tell you he was happy I’d played doctor.”

  My eyes rolled so hard, they almost touched my brain. “Listen, Mr. Have An Answer For Everything, Hans may be bullet free because of you, but you’re not that spy anymore. If you get caught examining a corpse, we’re toasted Wheaties. You feel me?”

  He stifled a chuckle and slipped away from the coatroom as the crowd entering the building began to thin, and snuck behind a beautiful heart-shaped wreath made out of white roses with a picture of Mellie Carter in the middle.

  My goodness, she’d been lovely with all that hair and those deep chocolate eyes. What would be even lovelier? If Mellie would show up again and lend a helping hand.

  Peering from behind the life-size memorial wreath, I watched Win assess all the mourners with narrowed eyes while he somehow latched on to the flowery memorial’s stand with both hands and successfully inched his way to a corner with it, placing it in front of him and leaving his back to a grouping of tall fake plants. He promptly faded into them with nary a rustle of their leaves.

  People continued to come and go, their faces grim and pale. Some of the students, who’d clearly adored Miss Mellie, had come in groups, hugging each other and crying together, all while Mellie’s beautiful body lie in a coffin made of rich mahogany.

  “Have we given any thought to which woman is her aunt? I know it’s a reach, but maybe she knows something? I realize she’s been out of the country, and Mellie’s affair is probably a shock, so she might not be willing to talk to you, but it’s better than nothing.”

  “I’d bet my lung she’s the female in the front row of chairs with the gobs of dark brown hair. However, I don’t think approaching her now is a smart idea,” Win whispered. “I don’t cherish the idea of being given the boot before I can see Mellie’s body, but I’ll try and catch her before anyone arrives for the second viewing, if necessary.”

  When I looked up, I saw who he was talking about and decided he was probably right. Wow, I really was giving my stupidity a solid run for its money. I hadn’t even made the connection about her hair when I’d seen her enter the funeral home, but looking closer at her profile as she accepted condolences from everyone, I saw the distinct resemblance.

  So we waited—watched—waited some more.

  After an hour of watching and waiting, as the last of the people began to disperse, I’d lost all hope. Win had somehow managed to stay upright, but all this standing he’d been doing left me worried for him. Three days ago, he’d had trouble getting from the bathroom to his bed. He was a true testament to where there’s a will, there’s a way.

  “Bel?”

  “Boss?” his tiny voice responded.

  “Any new thoughts about how I get back into my body if we find it?”

  “When we find it,” Win insisted.

  “When we find it,” I repeated.

  “I still got nothin’, Stevie. This is the first time, in all my years, I’ve ever actually seen this happen. I’ve been wracking my brain to try and remember if I’ve ever heard any stories about it, but I can’t think of anything. Plus, what if you do one thing, but the spell you cast requires another? Like, maybe the brown bear has to bring you a martini with the key to a bus locker before you spin around in a circle six times and leap? I don’t know, Stevie.”

  Man, a martini sounded like a good idea ’bout now. I heard the panic in Bel’s voice and I attempted to soothe him. “It’s okay, Bel. We’ll figure it out.”

  “My malutka?” Arkady interrupted our solemn silence as we sat on the bench and surveyed the funeral parlor.

  “Yes, Arkady?”

  “I do not wish to be fun stomper, but,” he whispered, pointing at my shoulders with eyes full of fear.

  When I looked down (even though I really didn’t have to), I blanched, and the panic I’d managed to tamp down rose to the surface.

  My shoulders were now gone. It was as if whatever this thing was, it was busy eating away at me like a Pac Man video game, chomping off my body parts little by little.

  I was pushing two days without water and food, so it stood to reason my physical form would suffer some consequences, but surely I couldn’t be dehydrated yet, could I? So why the sudden rapid deterioration? Oh, the ways of the supernatural were mysterious and magical, weren’t they?

  Still, I was trying to stay in the “don’t panic Win” mode, but I felt like maybe it was time to alert him we needed to take this look at Mellie Carter’s body and move on to something else—quick.

  “Win?”

  “Dove?”

  “It might be time to get the show on the road.”

  He looked upward, his eyes full of worry. “Then get the show on the road, I shall.”

  Chapter 15

  The moment Win began to prepare a plan for a way out from behind the plants, a thought occurred to me, one that hurt my heart and filled me with an empty longing.

  I leaned into Arkady, pressing my fingers to his jaw and giving it a pat. “You know, Arkady, if whatever is happening to me means I have to leave Plane Limbo, and I don’t make it back into my body, I might never see…see you again.”

  My eyes filled with tears. It had only been a couple of days or so, days fraught with all manner of peril, but being with him, having his strong, capable presence right beside me, made me wonderfully happy.

  If we were lucky and we found my body and I was able to get myself back into it, hopefully, I’d be back with Win again, and that was certainly wonderful, but I wished, with all the wishes in the world, I could bring Arkady back with me.

  But the thought of me not making it back to my body and being taken from Plane Limbo, too, where I wouldn’t even have at least one dear member of my family, left me almost bereft, and I wanted him to know how important he was to me.

  He cupped my chin with his big calloused hand, gazing down into my face with his warm eyes.

  “Ah, my sweet malutka. It has been my greatest joy to finally see you in flesh, but you belong with Zero. You have always belonged with Zero. You know this, as does he. Because of this, I know it is right thing that you go back. I will not believe you won’t make it back. I am a little sad, because Arkady want to show you so much here, but I am happy, too. You deserve all the good things. All the good things are down there.”

  Tears fell down my cheeks, and he used his thumb to wipe them away. “You’re one of the good things, too. I wish we could all be together down there. It’s my greatest wish.”

  “You know, malutka, when I was down there, I sometimes do bad things. I was different man. I did not appreciate my life or the lives of others. I feel lucky to end up here. It teach me lessons I need to learn and it also lead me to you.” He sighed, his big chest expanding and deflating. “But you know something?”

  “What?” I whispered, my voice cracking as he pulled me into his embrace.

  He drew my hand to the spot on his chest where his heart lie, our transparent hands melting together. “My heart say someday we will meet again. All of us—together. Until then, I am okey-doke right here. I am okay this way because it means I can still be a part of your lives.”

  I choked on my tears as they rushed down my face. “I love you, Arkady. You�
��re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

  “And I you, beautiful girl.” He set me from him then, squeezing my upper arms with his strong hands and a smile. “Now no more tears, my pretty daffodil. It make face splotchy and red. You always say not good look for you.”

  I chuckled, giving him a tight hug and wiping my tears. “Okay. You’re right.” I sucked in a deep breath and found my resolve. “Now let’s find my body.”

  “That’s the spirit, malutka!”

  As I refocused, the two funeral directors were currently in the process of closing the doors to the funeral home, now that the first viewing was over, when two men appeared from a room to the left of the entryway. Dressed in jeans and soaked hoodies, they were having some kind of argument, and if Win wasn’t careful, they were going to see him.

  “Back up, Win. Hide behind the plants and stay put,” I ordered, my voice turning urgent. “Don’t move. Don’t breathe. Make sure the ringer is off on my phone. Two men at ten o’ clock.”

  Despite the fact that this was a funeral home, the hushed chatter of the mourners and the music playing in the viewing room had filled the air in the space. Now it was, pardon the pun, deathly quiet, and every sound became amplified.

  “How could you lose her ashes, dummy?” one of the men asked with a frown.

  “Oh, shut up, stupid. It’s not like it matters. We’ll just scoop some more out of the ashtray and put ’em in another urn,” the second man said, giving him an irritated shove to his shoulder.

  Then they both cackled as they approached the funeral directors, who scowled at them with condescension.

  Both Arkady and I blinked, and I know he was thinking what I was thinking.

  Scoop some more ashes out of the ashtray? Say again?

  Both of the men in hoodies straightened and cleared their throats when one asked, “Where do you want the last body, Boss?”

  The larger of the two funeral directors, with a wan face and darting green eyes, gave them a sharp look, his lips thinning when he spat, “You know what I want? I want the two of you idiots to shut your fat mouths. Why don’t you just announce what we’re doing to the world, Ritchie? Take out a full-page ad in the Times?”

  Both of the younger men gave him a remorseful look but not without an attempt to defend themselves as the taller of the two spread his arms wide and glanced around the room. “Everybody’s gone. What’s the big deal, Jerry?”

  Leaning into him, the funeral director narrowed his eyes and curled his lip. “The big deal, Ritchie, is you two have big mouths. It wasn’t enough that your aunt had to take matters into her own hands with the antique store lady after you fools decided to freelance, but now you’re making jokes? Respect the dead,” he seethed.

  Respect the dead,” the shorter man said with a sneer. “That’s funny, coming from you.”

  But Ritchie nudged him hard and frowned. “We were just trying to help, Jer. Doesn’t one more body mean—”

  “Shut up!” Jerry bellowed, his once pale face turning red with anger as he pointed to the room they’d come from. “Shut. Up. Don’t defend what you did. Now go get the body and prepare it for transport with Mellie Carter’s and keep your mouths shut!”

  Jerry stalked off with the other silent funeral director right behind him, their footsteps echoing on the parquet flooring until they were gone.

  Ritchie and his unnamed partner in body transport looked at each for a suspended moment, their eyes meeting while they fought to keep straight faces. Then they burst out laughing, trying to muffle the sound with their arms over their mouths.

  “Did you see his face?” Ritchie asked, puffing up his stomach and squinting his eyes. “Shut up, you two idiots. We don’t freelance!” he mimicked.

  His cohort threw his hoodie-covered head back and laughed as they made their way back to the room they came from, leaving Win alone behind the plants.

  But the moment the left, their words tormented me…ashes from an ashtray. Which led me to wonder, “I thought Mellie Carter was being cremated. Why do they need to transport her body? They have a crematorium right here at Vera Brothers, don’t they? The Yelp reviews all said so.”

  Win, still stuck behind the fake plants, nodded his head and readjusted his knit hat. “They certainly do, Stephania. That’s why we’re going to poke around now, while everyone is off preparing for the second viewing.”

  My stomach did a somersault and my pulse raced. I didn’t want to do this part.

  “But wait, you heard them talk about their aunt taking care of the woman at the antique store, right? Before you do anything else, you need to call the police and tell them you think you know who killed the real GG, Win.”

  The aunt those two buffoons were talking about had to be the woman Win had met. But why would she kill the real GG?

  He shook his head. “I have no time to waste now, Stephania. I need to examine that body and I need to do it now. We need to find your body before the police become involved. You must get back into it, and if we contact the police and they come to investigate, how will we locate you? I promise you, Dove. GG’s death won’t go un-avenged. I’ll call the detective in charge again as soon as I do this.”

  “Zero, promise Arkady Bagrov you will be careful,” he pleaded.

  Win looked up at the ceiling and grinned, and I hated how much he loved this. The thrill of the chase was never going to go away, was it? Would being on the earthly plane but not being able to be a spy be enough for him?

  “When have you known me not to be careful, old man?”

  Arkady sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Never. But you have long day, Zero. You are tired. I see in face and the way your body moves. Your reflexes will not be as good. If you need to make break for it, if you stumble, you will make mucky mess. This is no slight to your skill, comrade. I know well of your skill. This is simple truth about your new body. You must take care.”

  What Arkady said times a million.

  Win chuckled as he pushed that ugly purse behind him and tucked his cane under his arm. He held up a hand. “I’m hearing you, Arkady. Believe me, I’ll take no chances. That’s a promise, mate.”

  “Belfry? Are you awake?” I needed everyone to be on their toes—we needed as much backup as we could get.

  “Aye-aye, Boss,” he chirped. “Eyes wide open.”

  Even as I reminded him this was a bad idea, Win was already stepping out from behind the wreath and making his way toward Mellie’s casket.

  His limp troubled me a great deal. He wasn’t running anywhere if he got caught, that I promise you. I couldn’t believe he was still upright after nearly two days of this. But I suppose it’s a testament to the kind of determination Win possesses.

  My heart pounded so hard, I’m surprised anyone left in the other rooms of the funeral home didn’t hear it, but Win managed to make it to the casket, leaning on it to brace himself.

  “Mellie, forgive me for what I’m about to do,” he whispered as he looked down at her beautiful, serene face, surrounded by her glorious hair. “Godspeed.”

  I hated this. Not just because Win could get caught, but because I felt as though we were desecrating a dead body, and it felt shamefully disrespectful. So much so, I jammed a knuckle in my mouth to keep from yelling at Win to stop. I knew Mellie could help lead to finding my body, but I despised the notion just the same.

  Arkady must have sensed my deep hesitation, because he gathered me against him and hugged me tight.

  These were men who were used to doing some pretty awful things for their countries, and I knew that. The choices they’d had to make as spies in service were likely hard and questionable. But it was for the greater good. I had to remind myself of that.

  Hooking his cane on the side of the casket, Win pushed the gorgeous cream-colored satin blanket at Mellie’s waist, with her initials embroidered on it, down her body. I wondered if this had some kind of sentimental value to her in life—but then I heard Win inhale sharply seconds before his mouth fel
l open.

  If I had any blood flowing through my veins, I’m pretty sure it would have drained completely from my face. But I’m not sure how this whole soul-leaving-your-body thing works. Regardless, a cold chill skittered up my spine.

  “What, Win? What’s wrong?”

  “Her legs,” he whispered, his tone grave, his face chalky white as he gripped the side of the casket, his fingers sinking into the cushiony cream material of its interior.

  I licked my dry lips. “What about them?”

  “They’re gone, Stephania. They’re…gone.”

  “Gone?” I squeaked, terror welling up inside me. “I…I don’t understand.”

  “Her legs are no longer attached to her body, Stephania,” he said, his voice low as he reached for the beautiful silk shirt

  I’m pretty sure if I were down there, I’d have passed out by now. I can handle a lot of things, but limbs gone missing for no reason is a lot. What would he find beneath her shirt?

  As I was getting over that first revelation and trying to muster up a sentence to ask why Mellie’s legs were missing, Win wasted no time in unbuttoning the soft pink shirt she wore just enough to see this hole in her chest.

  “Who the hell are you?”

  I froze. Win froze. We all froze.

  Man, we were the suckiest of sucky lookouts ever.

  “I said, who the hell are you?” Jerry, the funeral director we’d encountered earlier, roared as he raced up the aisle toward Mellie’s coffin, his big frame pounding through the quiet funeral home.

  “Forgive me one last time, Mellie,” Win whispered before he grabbed his cane and attempted to dislodge it from the side of the casket as though he were incapable.

  “Hold on, mate, I’m a little stuck,” he replied as casually as if a man wasn’t running at him like an angry bull.

  He yanked one more time using both hands, pulling at the cane, and when he did, he lost his grip and fell forward, knocking the casket askew.