Diane and Kat- the Bound Bands

by Michael Hudson

  Diane finally looked up, unable to stop herself now. The images of a broken cathedral, of bodies everywhere, and of her laughing as the world burned would not leave, not while the one thing that made her life always filled with something worth caring about tried to say they couldn’t keep this up. She held out the bread, her voice coming out as nothing but a squeak.

  Kat glanced away from Diane’s face almost immediately. She had to do this for Diane’s sake, to make sure she didn’t have to be burdened by her anymore. That brought her eyes to the bread though. It wasn’t the hard tack from this morning though. No, it was the fireside bread, slightly beaten and battered, but still looking a bit fresh. Kat placed her hand on it, letting the soft dough press back against her fingers. “I… don’t get it.”

  Diane swallowed hard, and pushed the bread harder against Kat’s hand. It had grown slightly hard by now though, and so instead of bending, the bread broke into two halves, and one fell to the ground, where Diane quickly tried to save it. Kat stepped back, watching her lover scramble for the bread while Diane muttered, “I can’t even do this right.”

  Kat got onto one knee, placing a hand onto Diane’s shoulder and struggling to smile. She hadn’t seen her like this in a long time, and it scared her, even if it was warranted now. “C-come on, it’s just some bread. We have more.”

  Diane looked up, her red, puffy eyes blinking as she looked into Kat’s green pair. She swallowed hard, but couldn’t shake the words in her throat. ‘It’s not just bread. It’s m-me slowly walking down steps, or using the wrong spells, or how I can’t even heal you. When we go into dungeons, I’m usually useless, because I can’t detect traps, or climb big ledges. And yet you’re nothing? All I can do is-”

  Silence came as Kat’s hand came over Diane’s mouth, and the barbarian hung her head. Tears slowly stained the ground below her, before she shook her head. “Stop. Stop. I-I’ve… I’ve let that stupid fear spell hang over me way too long, and… and I’m sorry. Just more proof why I need someone with at least half a brain to keep me in ch-check, r-right?”

  Diane gripped one of Kat’s hands close, her fingers intertwining with her beloved’s as she smiled at Kat’s own, weak grin.. “We both do. No matter how many times we’ve said we’re fine, or nothing troubles us-”

  “-We’ll always be little babies and have our fears.”

  A small giggle escaped Diane, before she began to cry again. “That… that’s one way to put it.”

  Kat squeezed Diane’s hand, before raising her other hand in an odd crescent. “Just promise that you’ll never let me be enough of an idiot to let you go, okay?”

  Diane put her half of the heart between them, her smile brightening as she whispered, “Only so long as you stay to make my life a real adventure.”

  Kat smiled, and pulled Diane in close, holding her tight, and forcing the other woman’s face into her chest. “I promise, I will.”

  The stayed there, ignoring the hard rock as they smiled at each other, and they fell asleep.

  Patience

  Room One

  “It’s just a hallway…”

  “...with a lot of doors.”

  The two of them tilted their heads as they looked at the ‘trial’. Neither had wanted anything difficult for this one, not after the anger of the last one, but even this was… underwhelming. Diane frowned a bit more, before squeezing Kat’s hand. “We should stay close together nonetheless. With so many passageways, there are bound to be ambushes and traps laid out for us.”

  Kat checked her sword, before sliding ahead of her companion and keeping her hand on the pommel as she took a deep sniff. “All I smell is dust, but I agree. These have been only getting harder, so stay behind me, and be ready to blast whatever may come.”

  A small smile crossed Diane’s lips as she waited for Kat to take point, and started following. While she was keeping her eyes and ears on full alert for something to come, she knew Kat would be far more likely to be able to give her forewarning with her heightened senses. That, coupled with the morning of quiet smiles, and bits of tension, led to her wanting to be just a touch silly. “Say, since I’ve been choosing poorly with my spells recently, would you like to tell me if the one I’ve picked for this will work.”

  “I’m sure it’s fine, Di-Agh!” Kat jumped as a jolt of electricity landed right on her rump. “Son of a bitch!”

  The smile on Diane’s face brightened as Kat glared at her, before she said, in as flat of a tone as she could, “Something like that, but a bit stronger, right?”

  Kat held up a finger, her arm shaking as she puffed out her cheeks. Diane didn’t even flinch though, and so the barbarian was left staring into that stupid grin. It grew to be too much, and soon Kat couldn’t help but burst into laughter, and punched Diane’s arm. “You cheeky jerk.”

  Diane couldn’t hold it back either, and covered her mouth as she giggled too, ignoring the soreness now in her arm. The two stayed in the middle of the corridor, spending several moments trying to calm down, only to then erupt in more laughter as they looked back to each other. “Oh, if people saw us like this, our reputations would be gone.”

  She knew she would regret it, but Diane held her growing smile as she reminded her friend of quite where their reputation was. “Oh, yes, us laughing at our stupid jokes would be so much worse than the times a drunken barbarian has streaked through town, stolen a pig because she wanted bacon, started a fight in three bars at the same time, and, oh, and let us not forget the incident pertaining to a broom, a locksmith, and-”

  “Ah, no, no, no, no! Please do not remind me of that!”

  Diane began to laugh as Kat huffed, and stomped along the corridor. Once Kat’s back was to her companion though, she couldn’t help but begin to smile, and giggle a little bit at the memories too. It only got worse as she realized just how stupid she had been this whole trip, when it all started with a fear that should have long ago been vanquished.

  Once the two adventurers were feeling up to actually adventuring again, they found themselves at the end of the hallway, unmolested. While it was still a nice change of pace to them, it also made their nerves go on full alert. Kat kept an eye on the hall as Diane pushed against the door, and found it locked. A look down told her why.

  On a large, stone slab read, For those who desire to see my lady’s tomb, I wish for one final test of perseverance. Within these hundred rooms, is a key. Find this key, and it will open the door. Do not find this key, and you will wither into nothing, for the way back cannot be changed, or reached again.

  “Hey, Kat, how do you feel about meticulously searching through a hundred rooms for one item.”

  There was a silence from the barbarian, before she looked over her shoulder. “Y-you’re kidding, right?”

  Diane shook her head, and Kat began to curse.

  Room 2

  “Walruses!”

  Diane shook her head as they entered the room. “I know you hate when we’re asked to find cats and such, but please do recognize that this is different.”

  Kat turned around, her hands on her hips as she raised an eyebrow. Diane tried not to pay attention to it, and moved on to the sparsely decorated room. There was a bed, a desk, a bookcase, and… that was it. “How is this different? We have to search all over a place for one thing, and bring it back. It’s not exciting, it’s not fun, so it’s just annoying!”

  The drawers yielded nothing, and Diane slowly moved onto the bookshelf. There, classic titles such as, The History of Mold, How to Watch Paint Dry, and The Art of Grass Growing, sat upon the shelves. While they made her smile, it also made her wonder just how serious Carnick had been when making this dungeon. “Well, maybe we’ll start getting followed by a shadow beast or something. Would that make you happy?”

  Kat flipped the bed up, and sighed as all that greeted her was a cockroach that squeaked at her. “Yes, yes it would actually.”

  A small giggle escaped Diane as she put back the last of the books, and turned to
Kat, who was waiting at the door. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to keep an eye out for it too.”

  All Diane got for that was a glare as Kat moved onto the next room.

  Room 4

  Kat rolled into the room, crouched low as she bent her knees, and swung her weapon in a deadly circle. Her blade caught nothing, and only helped to make the dust swirl around herself. As the small motes of dirt rested upon her blade, the barbarian screamed, “Please tell me this isn’t all there’s going to be!”

  Diane poked her head in, only to see that Kat was correct. Another desk, bed, and bookcase was all that sat in the room. Just like the last one, and the one before it. It was slightly amusing though, if not just to have the opportunity to watch Kat get continuously angrier. “Now, now, if there was a room unlike the rest, it would tip off any tomb raiders like us, so of course they all need be the same.”

  Kat turned around, an eyebrow raised. “Oh, is that the case? Well than,” she stopped midsentence, spinning around to cleave the desk in the room in half, “I hope Carnick doesn’t mind if I redecorate!”

  Diane rolled her eyes, and placed a hand on the stone wall. It glowed briefly from licks of flame, before she took it away, having left a mark on the wall. It was a rather plain symbol, merely a black circle with a smaller white circle within, but completed by the black dot in the middle, but it was one Diane had been taught as a child, and still thought fondly of. “If only Kesral followers could remember that her sigil even admits to the darkness within us all.”

  Kat panted as she walked back to Diane, having reduced the furniture to nothing but splinters now. “Are you ready to move on?”

  “Yep.”

  Room 12

  Diane hummed to herself as she sat at the desk, slowly leafing through how one was supposed to grow grass artistically. It was actually rather interesting to her, as she did hope one day to have her own garden. Of course, such a thing wasn’t really possible when you never stayed in one place for more than a month, but still, it was nice to think about. Especially while your friend panted on the bed. “What have we learned?”

  “I’m not giving into any of your teachable moments, alright?”

  “Oh, come now Kat. No one got hurt, and it’s good to reflect upon one’s mistakes.”

  “It wasn’t a mistake.”

  Diane sighed, putting the book down as she walked over to Kat. The shorter woman was currently resting on the bed with a bandage around her head. She would have had to rest anyways, as she had destroyed all of the furniture in the previous rooms for some excitement. This time though… “You don’t consider making a bookcase fall on you as a mistake?”

  Kat was silent for a few moments, before nuzzling her face into the pillow, and grumbling, “Shut up.”

  Room 29

  Kat put her head to the wall, sighing as Diane began working on casing out the room. Her head still rang a bit, but she wasn’t about to let it put her down, not when the two were certain at this point that the roms were meant to be an endurance and wisdom test. As proof even, they had checked one of the rooms she’d had a tantrum in, and seen the place spick and span, minus for the mark on the wall. Kat had almost gone on a rampage again, as Diane had suggested that the dummies they had fought two floors before now might have the same enchantment, but splitting pain in her skull had stopped her. That, and the consolation that the walls didn’t seem to repair themselves.

  Opening her eyes back up, Kat noticed something she hadn’t before. On the stone, faded from time, was a heart. Backing away, she saw that it wasn’t just one. Of varying sizes, skills, and even materials, probably painted to look like stone, were hearts. Kat began to walk along the wall, her hand tracing over them until it found words sketched into one. Sorry you had to wait for this one. It was chiseled into one of the larger, smoother ones, denoting a more practiced hand on it. “Hey, Diane, have you really looked at these walls?”

  Diane dusted her hands as she moved away from the bookcase, and looked upon the wall too. A small gasp escaped the sorceress as she noticed the embellishments implanted into the seemingly smooth wall. “How did I miss these?”

  Kat shifted her weight a little bit, looking to the ceiling and starting to feel somewhat unnerved by the amount of them. None were up to the quality of the carvings in the previous chambers that depicted Carnick’s story, which only made their origins more confusing. “I’m just trying to figure out why they’re here, other than to be cute.”

  Diane tapped her foot, staring at the one that apologized, before shaking her head. “Well, at least now we have something to think about while we walk, right?”

  A sigh escaped the shorter woman, before she nodded, and they trudged to the next door.

  Room 53

  Diane hummed to herself as she ran her finger along one of the hearts, staring at the golden sheen that broke through one part of the paint. The inscription was unlike the others, for it was done entirely in cursive. For our Queen, Salasune, from your dearest Carnick. May this find you in good health, and make up for my absence. “Salasune.”

  Kat’s ears perked up as she heard the name, before she turned around. Instinct had caused a red glow to come to her eyes, along with the red outlines of two pawprints to flash onto her cheeks, before fading back to nothing. She stomped over to Diane, and began looking at the heart that she was examining. A scowl deepened on Kat’s face, before she shut her eyes, and began to breathe deeply. Diane’s hand soon came onto her back, and helped assuage the rage that had spiked within her. “Sorry.”

  “You’re forgiven, but I would like to know what that was all about.”

  The knight squeezed the bridge of her nose as she shook her head, and then sighed. “The barbarian lands are called that for a reason. We’ve almost always been treated as our own nation, though, of course, with no actual government. Well, one generation of us tried to be ‘clever’ and put on knight’s armor, only to then rip through the town that welcomed them. Salasune is the name of the queen who retaliated, and while she was justified in the wars she waged upon us, it’s in our blood to not forget the blood of half our kin that bled along our land.”

  Diane placed a hand onto her companion’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Kat squeezed back as the sorceress turned back to the wall and nodded. “That would explain why the legend is so small, but this tomb had so much effort put into it.”

  Kat frowned for a moment, before her eyes widened, and she smiled. “Wait, you mean I get to pillage the tomb of my kind’s old enemy? Oh please, her fortune be in the last trial, please please please!”

  A giggle escaped Diane as she shook her head. Sometimes her companion could be a little… silly, and show her true colors far too strongly. “Yes, though, tell me, especially because of how these these hearts had to have been added into the stone work, how long do you think making this whole place took?”

  Kat stopped, holding a hand up. While the magical elements wouldn’t have been super difficult, especially with a team of court wizards to handle the enchantments, they still had to build all of this underground, get every piece of furniture and enemy made… “Sweet Hekam.”

  “Exactly. Now, for a queen deserving such a large tomb, why is it that the legend of her champion is not a well known story about a hero, but seen as just a fairy tale?”

  Kat delved back into her instincts and could hear the distant cries of her ancestors screaming for Salasune’s death. Very few things past rage could even get her into contact with her spirit or blood, so for this to be a trigger meant that it was a time that every last one of her kind knew, and hated. “She overshadowed him, didn’t she?”

  Diane began walking towards the door as she nodded, her hand on her chin. “Queen Salasune, known as The Judge. While many people debate about how correct she was in with how far she went in trying to get back at the barbarians, Kesral churches spend an extra long time on her, as one who fought against the savagery of the world, even before the Kesral church had the strength to do
so itself.”

  Kat smiled wider as she got to the door as well. “I’m guessing Maxwell didn’t even mention her?”

  Diane rolled her eyes and opened the door. ‘Yep.”

  Room 70

  Silence came to them as they entered the room. The dungeon had seemed fairly automated, and this one was meant to look uniform,so it only made sense for there to be no changes to any of them. For them all to still look as they had when they first were made.

  That didn’t mean that at least one adventurer had made it through eventually though.

  Diane knelt before the rotting corpse as she held the collar of her robe over her nose. It didn’t beat out the stench of death, but it did let her be able to at least breathe. “You poor man.”

  Kat now was holding the bag, breathing into the myriad of smells from it, before her heightened senses killed her. She did raise an eyebrow to what Diane had said though. “Well, I suppose if we were going to find a corpse, it would be here. The others probably have ways of removing even the bones.”

  The sorceress nodded, before slowly reaching forward and taking the book from the man’s chest. It was slightly sticky, and she found herself forcing back her gag reflex as she opened it. “Do you mind if I see what may have happened to him?”

  Kat waved a hand, before she gagged from the bag slipping away from her nose. “Nope, no pr-Ack!” The barbarian darted back to the doorway. “I’m just gonna stay over here though, if that’s okay.”

  “Of course.” It was an almost automatic response now as she skimmed the pages. The man had apparently come in with a thief of a partner, and had made it through the first two trials together alright. It was the third where the man’s happy, love filled, and horrible, poetry stopped, and the scribbling became more frantic. She couldn’t blame him though.