The Humiliation of Hannah

by Lizbeth Dusseau

  Later in the day she was brought before Jarrett Cain who was pouring over his accounts in his study with such close attention that he didn’t seem to know that she was there. She waited for several minutes on the verge of speaking when he finally looked up briefly, his eyes cold, his voice crisp.

  “Your time here is over, at least for now,” he said.

  “Are you saying this is it?”

  “What? You want more?”

  Bewildered, she shook her head.

  “Maybe you want to stay. Is that it?” He looked mildly amused.

  “Oh, heavens no!”

  He sneered. “Humph. I thought perhaps you liked spreading those pretty thighs for men like me.”

  “Well, you thought wrong!”

  “When the liquor is working through your body, you tell a different story.”

  “Drink is a demon, Mr. Cain,” she glared. “You’ve used it against me.”

  He laughed coldly, then just stared into her flashing eyes. He saw some of their former spark, but it had been tempered by her days of lust. She looked wasted now; no doubt unfit for sex until she recuperated from the past few days.

  As she stood trembling before him, Hannah could see Jarrett Cain’s mind working, and felt a dozen rancorous insults as if he actually spoke them aloud. She was not prepared for more of his venom, too weary now and too hurt from the physical abuse to listen to more of his slurs. Her monthly menses sent cramping waves through her lower body, and she simply prayed that he’d get on with whatever he planned to do or leave her be.

  She could barely look at him, but then, quite strangely, the familiar scorn she’d seen so often from the man disappeared with a swiftness that bewildered the beleaguered woman. “I’ll have your cuffs removed and one of my men give you something to eat,” he informed her. “Then you’ll be returned safely to your husband’s farm.” He returned to his work, waving her off.

  Hannah sat for some time in the cool entry of the ranch house—exactly where she’d been told to sit. Jarrett didn’t emerge from his study, at least not from the door that led to the corridor where she waited. Perhaps an hour passed, and Eldon Tremaine finally walked through the front door.

  “Your horse has been saddled, Hannah; you’re going home,” he said.

  She breathed a sigh of relief and rose to her feet.

  Hannah was abandoned on the road within a few hundred yards of the farmhouse. Her mind was battered with facts she didn’t want to face. But with the rest of her life staring her down with a face of judgment she could not avert, she was forced to consider her next move. From where she sat on Little Jenny, she could view the empty house—Daniel’s farmhouse, not hers, not anymore. She felt a hollow space inside where her heart used to be, something having died inside that could not be resurrected.

  After some minutes, she finally gave Jenny a little kick and they moved into the yard, where she dismounted and stretched her legs. It had been a long ride and she was tired to the bone. A wave of nausea passed through her as she made her way up the porch steps.

  She surveyed her world, seeing everything in shades of gray. Color, energy, will, desire—gone. The pleasures of her world were no more.

  Inside the bedroom she shared with her husband, she stared for many minutes at a pair of Daniel’s trousers that needed mending. She brought them to her face, smelling the redolence of his body still clinging to the fibers. Surely his familiar scent might elicit some yearning for him, but her wifely desire was too covered with shame to find it now.

  The rooms were all empty; the barn was empty. Even the gloomy desolation did not move her. Her heart was a stone, barely stirred by anything but remorse, as if all that was good inside her ceased the moment her spirit gave in to the perverse thrill of Jarrett Cain’s crude demands.

  Consumed by her despair, she immediately knew what she had to do and quickly threw herself into the task. She spent the next hour feeding the animals that had waited far too long for this meal. She gave them extra food not knowing when they’d be fed next. Finally, after packing a small bag of her things and some food for the road, she mounted Little Jenny, who was still waiting saddled in the yard, and road out. The need for escape propelled her forward at a vicious speed.

  She stopped when she was at the place where Eldon Tremaine had left her an hour before. Looking back she felt no different than she’d felt while walking through the empty rooms of the farmhouse. This was not hers anymore, she could not be its mistress when she’d failed so miserably in the task.

  Turning west, she headed toward the bridge road that would take her over the hills and into the valley beyond. The wind was at her back, driving her on. With any luck she would reach that valley before the weather turned and would find a new place to call her home.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “What a fine meal, Hannah. It’s been some time since we’ve eaten anything this tasty.”

  Hannah cleared the kitchen table of dishes and offered Miss Mamie a brief smile.

  “Glad you liked it.”

  “Hey, you’ve been the best thing that’s happened here in the last couple of years. I should keep you around.”

  “Only if I’m useful,” she answered with a warm grin.

  Hannah was grateful for the woman’s generosity. If it hadn’t been for Mamie on that Godforsaken night the week before, she didn’t know what would have happened to her. She had no illusions about where she was when she dismounted her horse in the driving rainstorm and knocked on the door to the only house with the lights on. The sign in the window clearly indicated the purpose of this establishment. “Ladies Available”. This was where a woman with her newfound proclivities belonged and she might as well get used to it. If she’d let her body be ravaged by scoundrels and contemptuous villains—and enjoyed it—she might as well get paid. Fate had taken her choices from her, making her life no more than a string of accommodations to fit the ruined woman she’d become.

  Miss Mamie had given her a warm meal; nothing fancy, just leftovers from their evening supper. But they tasted good. It had been slow a night because of the rain and most of the girls were upstairs asleep—just one customer shaking the bedsprings in a room above. Hannah imagined that Mamie would have been in bed too if she hadn’t arrived, pressing her sorrowful need with a sad face. It was nearly one o’clock.

  After Hannah had satisfied herself with the food and was feeling much warmer, she tentatively asked the question burning in her mind. “You don’t suppose there’s a place for me here, do you?”

  “You mean for the night? Certainly, I have a spare room.”

  “I appreciate your kindness and hospitality, but, I…I was actually looking for something more permanent than just a night.” She raised her eyebrows questioningly.

  “You want to live here?” The woman looked surprised.

  “I’m sure I can do as well as the other girls.” She blushed, not realizing how difficult it was to talk about these things.

  Mamie laughed. She was a bold, bosomy redhead with a dark heart-shaped mole painted on one cheek. She was not pretty, her features were large, her eyes a little too widely spaced, but Hannah could imagine that men loved crawling into her big succulent body. Her fragrance filled the room. It likely filled the whole house, just like her clarity, firmness and generosity did. Some say the good ones have a heart of gold, Mamie was one of those.

  “You’re not a whore, Hannah,” she bluntly declared. She stared at her guest, eyeing the lovely youthful hand with its gleaming gold ring on her left ring finger. “Honey, you’re some man’s wife, and he’s gonna come here someday and claim you. I don’t want some vengeful man taking out his anger on me!”

  “No, no, he won’t be coming here. He has no idea I’m even gone.”

  Mamie was baffled. “And what would possess a sweet thing like you to take off from home?” Her green eyes narrowed, “He’s not some bullying brute, is he?”

  “No, no, he’s wonderful. He’s a good man, a very good man. I-I’m just
…” she stopped.

  “Just what?”

  Hannah gulped. Her throat felt tight and she was shivering so badly she could barely breathe. “I’m sorry, I really am. I can’t tell you why I left, but it was the right thing to do. Now I need a place to stay. I’ll do whatever I can. I work hard and I would take men in my room, if I have to.”

  Mamie eyed her carefully then warmly smiled, shaking her head in wonder. “Yes, girl, you can stay if you like. Lord knows we need someone to help keep this place clean and cook a decent meal. I have to take a switch to some of the girls to get them off their lazy behinds. You can work in the kitchen. You can clean the floors—I’m sure you’ve done that well enough, but there’ll be no spreading your legs here, or I’ll be taking a switch to you.” Hannah sensed that her word was law, and gave up her objections with a grateful sigh.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” she said. Her eyes were filling with tears that she wiped with the back of her hand in a sweetly childlike way.

  “Now you call me Mamie, like the rest of the girls do. That’s all the respect I need.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” she answered, without thinking. Then she laughed at herself for forgetting so quickly—old habits die hard. It was the first attempt at laughter she’d made in some time.

  Now seven days since her arrival at Mamie’s House, her choice seemed like a good one—not that there were too many possibilities for a woman like herself. The memory of her days in Jarrett Cain’s rough hands still stung and would sting for a long time. Yet, already the images of her capture and confinement had shifted. Ideas of herself as tainted, used up and worthless stuck. She had no right to a virtuous life. But she could also see that there was a life for her now, a different life, but something that might be worthwhile enough to suit her.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The wind howled like a banshee screaming out of the north as Daniel approached the farmhouse. Never had he seen a more desolate looking place than his own home. No light in the windows, no sign of anything but a few clucking hens scratching around for food. Maybe Hannah wasn’t there? And Travis, where was he?

  Daniel galloped into the yard and slid from his horse in time to see the familiar figure of his friend appear from the far side of the barn.

  “You alone?” he asked the man, as his eyes worriedly skirted the immediate property. He knew something was wrong.

  “I am,” Travis answered.

  “Where’s Hannah?”

  He shook his head. “I dunno. I should never have left her, Daniel. I’m so sorry.”

  Daniel looked at him alarmed. “Left her?”

  “Got word that my sister had taken a bad turn, so I had to go.”

  “When?”

  “The day after you left. No way to get word to you. Hannah promised she’d stay with Damien and April. I swear she did.”

  “Is she there?”

  He shook his head. “They haven’t seen her.”

  The shock worked its way through the Daniel’s system quickly. “Dammit! Dammit all to hell!” he swore, angrily pacing and frightened; his gut a tight knot of worry.

  He let the first feelings pass and came back at Travis for more. “Damien and April haven’t seen her? Has anyone seen her?”

  “I’ve made the rounds in town, everyone I could find. No one’s seen her in maybe two weeks. Just before you left. I’ve ridden everywhere, Gosby’s, Martin’s, Hanavan’s. She’s gone. Like she just up and disappeared.” There were tears in Travis’s eyes as he rattled off the disturbing facts. “Figured you’d come back soon; only been back a day myself. We’ll ride out and search where I haven’t. We’re going to find her, Daniel. I’m sure of it,” he swore.

  Daniel listened with only half a mind, the other half was thinking of Beau, and of Beau’s enemies—a long list to be sure, and scattered everywhere across two counties. It was just a hunch, but he had the terrible feeling that Hannah’s disappearance had something to do with the reckless boy.

  “Yes, we’ll be riding out,” he came back, “soon as I can get someone to stay here at the house. If she should come back…” His voice trailed off at the thought of his beloved Hannah stumbling battered and bruised on some lonesome road, or lying hurt and dying, or taken by pillaging thieves, or anywhere but safely in his arms.

  Travis understood his worry. It took just long enough for him to grab some food and the two were on the road headed to town where they’d find a friend to stand guard at the farm, while they began their search. They had no idea where to look first, but Daniel swore he’d find her. He would not stop until she was back with him again.

  ***

  The tiny town of Swollen Creek was not much more than its whorehouse, store and stable. A few houses were scattered about, but nothing much to speak of. The town was one of those springing up throughout the Midwest offering its few services to the surrounding farmers and ranchers. It might remain there for many years or rapidly disappear into dust and neglect, no more than a forgotten piece of the landscape.

  While a handful of farmers found Swollen Creek handy for its general store and stable, those who came to town were mostly there for the girls. It was an unusually warm evening for the season and Miss Mamie’s house was full, bustling with regulars and a few new men who were passing through the region and needed a warm place to sleep—preferably in the arms of a lusty female. Mamie and Hannah were in the kitchen taking a break from all the commotion, drinking coffee.

  “Looks like this is gonna be one those nights,” Mamie said. “You’ll get a real taste for what this place is about before you put your head to the pillow.” Hannah had only been in the house little more than a week and Mamie was already used to having her around. She was a loner, but very nice, with some big trouble hanging on her shoulders. Eventually she’d talk about it, they always did. Now she just looked sad and sweet and vulnerable, but very willing to please.

  The bell on the front door of the brothel interrupted her thoughts and Mamie shook her head. “Oh, m’lord, I don’t think we have any place for another horny male.” Her red hair was falling from its impressive chignon and looked pleasingly disarrayed about her soft plump face. Despite her apparent weariness, there was also a hint of amusement in her expression as if she would enjoy every minute of the chaos that would likely go on all night. ‘Money in my pocket’, she would say with a whorish smile and a flash of brilliance in her green eyes. “Go see who’s there, will you, Hannah? I’ve just got to take a breather. But don’t you let any man think you’re for sale,” she warned.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Hannah moved from the kitchen, through the hallway, hearing the sounds of laughter in the parlor and a few grunts and groans of squeaky bedsprings from the rooms above. It was a place that stirred her loins and made her blush like a coy virgin. Mamie’s guests were happy here where sex was a playful sport that put smiles on faces, and soothed the terror of a hostile world—if only for a few hours. There would have been a time when she judged this kind of establishment as an evil plight on an otherwise worthy if not austere way of life. But she would not make such judgments now. This was as good a place for her to be as any.

  Turning the corner from the hallway into entrance of the house, she raised her head, stuck her chest out as she’d seen Mamie do, and presented herself to the newcomers, proudly representing the kind woman who’d taken her in. The hulking forms of several men in capes and hats were mingling by the door, looking a bit hazy inside a cloud of thick cigar smoke. It was difficult to distinguish one man from another until she got closer. Then two men with their backs to her suddenly pulled aside and between them, staring directly at her was the face of Jarrett Cain.

  She pulled up short. Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened.

  “So you are here?” he drawled, while smiling broadly. His eye took in her lovely form from head to toe as if it was the first time he’d seen her.

  “I’ll get Miss Mamie for you,” she said, and she abruptly turned around.

 
But Jarrett’s hand was on her arm before she could escape to the kitchen.

  “Don’t bother, girl, you’re what I’m after,” he said, stepping forward while drawing her in close.

  “I’ll not go anywhere with you.” She shook him off and stepped back. Her heart was beating fast with fear, although a tickle of erotic feeling appeared from nowhere. She hadn’t let her mind think of sex since she left Cain’s ranch, but it seemed primed to now as a deluge of memories returned. He touched her and the remembrance of his hands on her naked body came on her with threatening speed. The warm breath of a virile man was her aphrodisiac. And Jarrett Cain’s scent of smoke and sweat and masculine heat seemed sure to expand the throbbing that had begun between her thighs.

  As soon as she shook him off, she felt his long arm capture her again. Just seconds. It had been just seconds and already her spirit was melting into submission. He pushed her into the wall on the far side of the foyer away from the others. His big chest smashed into her heavily breathing one. She was flushed, unready for his advance, and unable to contain a response that seemed naturally bred—if not bred then trained in her.

  His lips forced themselves on hers, and rather than push him back with a spiteful glare, she returned the kiss with an open mouth. Her body felt like liquid.

  “What’s going on here!” Mamie’s voice broke the mood, though Jarrett did not free his prize.

  Mamie took one look at Jarrett Cain and scowled.

  “She’s not one of my girls, Jarrett, let her be.”

  “Oh, this one’s used to me, Mamie,” his eyes lit quite kindly as he informed her of this fact.

  “Oh, she is now?” the woman sashayed forward hands on hips. “Tell me how a man like you’d be any way involved with a sweet young thing like Hannah?”