by Allie Kay
I don't think even Talia knew.
But that was years ago.
Before he started tormenting me.
I tormented her? That's how she saw my flirting. My stomach rolled. I tossed the rest of the pizza in the trash. With my appetite gone, I'd never be able to finish it.
I hope we can get together again soon. I'll let you blindfold me again... or maybe we can just talk on the phone? I'd like the chance to get to know you better.
I had an idea on that... A few more days of emails and clues to set up a date where I told her who I really was. Before the charade was up by chance and I lost her for good.
Anyway, I'm going to bed soon myself. You asked about Thanksgiving? My mom's going to be in town. Hubby #6 left her recently, so she's coming to visit me. You might not be able to tell just how thrilled I am about that. (Please read that in my most sarcastic tone.) We will be joining the Richmonds for a late lunch and then I'm working the overnight shift. How about you?
Love,
Claire
At least I'd get to spend the holiday with her before she found out just who I was. One last holiday where I could pretend I had a chance with her. I huffed out a breath, disgusted with myself for wanting to give up so easily. That's not who I was. I'd see this through, whether it worked or not.
I hit reply on the email.
To: Claire
Subject: Re: Your last emails
Claire,
I'm not upset with you for kissing Zane. Or not kissing him back, I should say. He torments you? How? If you don't mind me asking... It's not you that had me upset. Not really. I'm just frustrated. Frustrated to think this may all blow up in my face and I'll have wasted both our time.
I'm working out a plan for us to meet soon. Can you send me your upcoming work schedule? I don't want to plan something mid-day if you work the night before and night of.
Once I can confirm a workable time, I'm going to send you a series of clues. If you work them all out, I'll see you at the designated time and place. If you don't then I suppose we will miss each other.
I'm glad you will be with people who love you for the holiday. I'll be with my family and whatever strays we drag along.
I gotta go to work.
-Z-
Before I got my coat on, the phone dinged. I looked at the email.
To: Z
Subject: Work schedule
My next days off are Sunday and Monday. I work 5p-5a the rest of this week. So I will be off from 5a Sunday through 5p Tuesday if you want to plan something for Sunday afternoon or Monday anytime.
I'll tell you about Zane another time. He just... he makes me crazy.
Love,
Claire
Sunday worked perfectly for what I'd been thinking of. Now I just needed to work out a few clues. I would also need to make a stop on the way home. I was going to get Claire to soften up to my real self, if it was the last thing I did.
25
Claire
"Claire, some guy is here for you," Rachel called from the desk.
"What guy?" I asked, sorting through the bin of stuff brought up from supply earlier that day.
"Does it matter?" Rachel argued. "He's cute and has flowers. Get your butt out here and see!"
Flowers? My heartbeat picked up. Had Z decided to just be bold and come out with his identity?
I hurried out of the office to come face to face with Zane. He held a huge bouquet of flowers in his hand. The soft pinks, vibrant reds, and contrasting purples competed for my eye.
"Got a minute?" he asked softly.
I nodded and waved for him to follow me back into the office.
"I'm sorry about last night. I overstepped and—"
"Zane—"
"Let me talk, please."
I pinched my lips closed and waited for him to speak.
"I'm sorry. I had no right to kiss you like that. Particularly not out in a public place in front of everyone. You deserve better than that. And I owe you an apology."
I nodded. "Thank you for that. But you didn't need to get me flowers."
He handed them to me. "Yeah, I did. You don’t get enough flowers in your life."
I inhaled one of the roses. They were beautiful. And he was right that I'd not gotten any flowers in way too long. "Thank you," I whispered.
"You're welcome, sweet girl. I, uh... I'm not very good at this. But here." He handed me a wrinkled envelope. "I thought if I wrote it down, I'd explain myself better."
"Okay."
"I'll let you get back to work. Uh, see you tomorrow?"
I could only nod and watched as he walked away. I stared at the closed door behind him, clutching the note against my chest. The pager in my pocket buzzed and startled me from my thoughts.
It was many hours before I was able to read the handwritten note Zane had given me. I'd had to work through my lunch break and was home before I had time to open the now stained and crumpled envelope.
I sat down and slid a nail beneath the flap. I smoothed the paper several times before I began to read.
Hey Claire,
You know I'm crazy about you, right? I can only claim temporary insanity. When you snuggled into me for that dance, and you looked up at me, there wasn't even a trace of animosity in your eyes. I swear you even leaned into me.
But maybe that was my imagination.
Wishful thinking.
Fantasy.
But I get it. You aren't interested. You made that crystal fucking clear. My face is still stinging from that slap, in fact.
So, I'm going to lay it all out, knowing you probably will never return the sentiments. But in order for you to get why I kissed you, and not think it was a spur of the moment decision, you need to have all the facts.
I am in love with you. I have been for some time. You are the only woman I want. You may not realize this, or believe it, but I haven't dated anyone else in months. Why? Because I can't find anyone that stacks up to you. I think of you each day and dream of you each night.
I'm a fucking sap, right?
Stop laughing. I'm baring my heart and soul to you. Okay, have you stopped laughing? No? Well, I'll continue anyway...
Wanna know something else? I never really want you to stop laughing. Even if it's at my expense. I love the sound of your laugh. It was about a year ago that your laugh wriggled its way into my heart and I started doing everything I could to make you laugh. But apparently, despite my best intentions, you didn't see it that way.
I never meant to be a pest. I only wanted to chase the shadows from your eyes and brighten your day, if even for a moment. My intentions were good, but it seems my execution was flawed.
I'll stop flirting with you, if that's what you want. I know you have my number. Just text me, one single word, STOP, and I'll stop. I don't want to be a bother to you. Never that. I want to make you smile, to make you fall in love with me, and to hold you when the day hasn't gone your way. Be a partner to you. And if you can never see me that way, just say so.
I hope you like the flowers. I tried to get the pinkest ones I could find for you.
See you tomorrow,
I love you,
Zane
The handwritten missive fluttered to the tabletop. My hand covered my gaping mouth. Zane was in love with me?
So many incidents from the past year flashed before my eyes.
I'd thought he was just trying to get a rise out of me. Trying to piss me off. Instead, he was only trying to make me laugh. To make me happy for a short moment of time.
And I'd been the world's biggest bitch to him. Tears filled my eyes when I thought of the names I'd called him. Of my hand connecting with his jaw at Garden.
How did I look him in the eye later today when his family had invited us over to lunch?
Wandering over to the bookshelf, I picked up the little snow globe Zane had given me. A winter scene with a tiny pond, with even tinier skaters filled the little trinket.
He'd given it to me last Chri
stmas, after all the gifts had been exchanged and I was leaving for my own home. Slipped the messily wrapped little package into my pocket as he helped me into my coat. Had he had feelings even then? I'd thought he just felt obligated to get me something since he'd known I'd be there. Never that it might be his way of showing that he cared.
Guilt hit me hard when the email notification went off on my phone. I hadn't thought of Z in hours.
I opened the email app and sure enough, an email waited from him.
To: Claire
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving
Hey angel,
I hope you had a good night at work. Get a nap in before your holiday festivities with the Richmonds, okay? Don't get too close to Zane's lips...
Clue 1: Day of the week
I'll make this an easy one, since you won't get much sleep.
A lot of people go to church on this day.
(Don't judge... I said it was an easy one.)
A few more days, and we can meet in person.
-Z-
Yes, just a few more days. Then I could be with Z, and I'd have to figure out a way to let Zane down easy.
Because Z was the right choice, right?
The low-risk choice...
Then why was my stupid heart getting all worked up about spending a few hours with Zane today?
26
Zane
I still lay in bed when Claire replied.
To: Z
Subject: Re: Happy Thanksgiving
Z,
I hope you have an amazing day with your family.
I know, I know, Zane's lips are off limits.
Email me later?
My mom just got here and I'm going to crash for a bit if she will be quiet long enough.
Claire
I stretched before rolling over and dozing back off. I woke an hour or so later to the chirping of my phone.
To: Z
Subject: Who are you?
Why are you emailing my daughter anonymously?Too ashamed to show your face?
To: Z
Subject: Where are you?
Why aren't you answering me? I know you are up. I saw when you sent the earlier email?
I groaned. Not how I wanted to start the morning.
To: Claire
Subject: Re: Where are you?
Hello Claire's overprotective mother,
I hadn't answered because I went back to sleep. We are getting to know each other without the pressures of real life pushing into our relationship. I'm not ashamed of being with your daughter. Let us handle our relationship.Happy Thanksgiving, -Z-
She replied quickly, before I'd got coffee going.
To: Z
Subject: Re: Re: Where are you?
You talk a good game. Hiding a wife somewhere, are you? I don't like this. I have been around the block a time or two. I know how men are. Stay away from Claire.
Fat chance of that. I wanted to reply, "See you in a few hours." I wanted to tell her to shove her divorcee nose into someone else's business. But I chose to ignore her vitriolic comments.
To: Claire
Subject: I'm not married
Not married. Never been married. Never even been close.
I work full-time. I have my own place and pay my own bills. I have parents who I see several times a week, and sisters that I adore. I'm really a catch.
And that's all I have to say to you.
Have a good holiday lunch.
I turned notifications off on my email before stepping in the shower. Claire planned to sleep, and if Margot had her phone, then no doubt she was asleep. I'd check in later and see if she even realized that her mom went off on me.
Since sleep wasn't coming back, I headed over to my parents. Sean's car was out front already, so knew at least one of my sisters was there.
I hadn't even got the front door shut when I found my youngest sister. Or more accurately, she found me.
"You kissed Claire? On the dance floor at Garden? Are you suicidal? I mean, for real," Karly slugged me on the shoulder, then pulled me in for a hug.
"I missed you too." I gave her a big squeeze, picking her feet off the floor. "Keep shouting about it. Maybe the neighbors didn't hear."
"Ha, that's where you are wrong. Jess's the one who told me. Seems she has a little crush on one of the new bouncers Sean hired and was there scoping him out. Off duty, of course."
I rolled my eyes. "I figured Sean or Talia told you."
"Nope. Since when do they gossip? You know they aren't any fun. All I hear from them is Garden this, baby that, baby, baby, love, more baby. Blah, blah, blah, gag me." She got behind me and shoved me toward the kitchen. "Help me out. I'm starving, but Mom said if she sees my face again, she's going to put me in shackles and show me all the baby clothes she's already bought."
"And you think I want that to happen to me?"
"She loves you more than me. And she hasn't seen you yet. You go say hi, distract her with a hug, I get my snack and run. Fool proof plan."
A chuckle escaped me. "Okay, but if you get me in trouble, I'm going to tell Mom all about that guy I caught you out on the docks with over fall break."
"Blackmail!" Karly poked me.
"Absolutely." I grinned down at her. I had no doubt she'd use anything she could against me if she had half a chance.
There was a hint of respect in her eyes when she spoke again. "And that's why you are my favorite brother."
"I'm your only brother."
"So? Still my fave!" She shoved at my back and I slowed my pace to a crawl just to bug with her.
"Hey, Mom. I thought I'd come over early. Where's Dad?" I called out as we entered the kitchen. Karly clung close to my back until we neared the island, then she dropped away.
"Zane! I'd kiss you, but I'm covered in dough for the dumplings. Your Daddy and Sean are in the den arguing about the football games later. Games aren't even on yet and they are at each other's throats." Mom waved a floury hand in my direction.
"Think I'll go put my opinions in. I mean, my opinions are what counts, right?"
"Mmmhmm," my mom said, returning her gaze to her recipe. "Karly, don't even think about touching that!"
I hurried into the den with a chuckle. I'd heard my baby sister get busted, and I did not want to get caught up in her punishment. Football sounded a hell of a lot more fun than looking at a bunch of green and yellow baby clothes. Mom had roped me into shopping with her one day. I'd made the mistake of asking why she wanted to put her only grandkid in puke green. I could live the rest of my life without another lecture on baby clothes.
27
Claire
I woke, a hand on my shoulder shaking me. I stifled a scream when my mother's voice penetrated my waking conscious.
"Mom, don't do that, please. You scared the crap out of me." I rubbed my eyes and sat up. "What time is it? I set an alarm."
"Don't be mad..."
"Why is it every time you say that I end up mad?" I eyed my mother. "What did you do?"
"I hijacked your phone. Who is this mystery man you are emailing? Claire, you don't know that man from Adam. He could be married. He could be a scammer out to take your money."
"Because I am so loaded..."
"I'm being serious! What if he's a deviant? A serial killer! Have you learned nothing?" She huffed. "I am sure I taught you better than this."
Margot had given me plenty of examples about what not to do with men, but she'd never seemed to discriminate on how she met them. My stepfathers had been found at bars, horse races, restaurants, parties, and one my mother had even met at a court date while divorcing another. But bringing any of that up would only lead to a fight. I sighed. "What did you say to him? Where's my phone?" I held a hand out.
"I only warned him that I was onto him."
"You had no right!" I snatched the phone from my mother's outstretched hand. Tapping the screen, I brought up my email and prepared to do damage control. "If you screwed this up..."
M
y mom stomped out of the room. I could hear her shuffling around in the kitchen as I read through the emails exchanged between my mother and Z. Not as bad as I had feared, at least.
To: Z
Subject: my mom
Z,
I'm so sorry. So sorry! She must have grabbed my phone when I dozed off. Don't leave me because my mom is a nut job.
Have lots of pie.
Love,
Claire
I changed the password on my phone before getting in the shower. I was standing in front of the closet, trying to decide what to wear when my mom knocked and peeked in.
"I only have today with you, so can you be mad at me tomorrow?"
"Can you stay out of my business?" I held up my favorite sweater. Lightweight, but perfectly fitted. It and my good jeans should be perfect. "And please don't be fussy about him in front of the Richmonds. He's actually really close to their family and I don't want today to get awkward, okay?"
"My lips are sealed." My mom hugged me from behind. "I know I don't get much right with you, but I do love you."
"I love you too, Mom." I pulled my jeans and sweater on, then stepped back in the bathroom to do my hair and put on a little makeup.
"Now... let's go see those Richmonds. I want to see this man of Talia's. From your description, I am going to like looking at him."
"Mom!"
"I said look, not touch. Chill out." My mom flipped a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder theatrically. "I'm not looking for a man or trouble today."
The words were meant to be reassuring, but I knew my mother. And Sean was exactly the type of guy my mother would bend over backward to get her hands on. My mom was going to embarrass the hell out of me today. I could see it already.