by Allie Kay
"Love you, Mom."
When my mom moved away, I opened the email.
To: Z
Subject: My mom
She didn't flirt with Zane as much as Sean. And what is your obsession with Zane?
Jealousy?
I snorted. Crap. I hadn't been as subtle as I'd thought.
To: Claire
Subject: Re: My mom
Not at all. Just after that kiss less than a week ago, I was curious to your reaction.
With an arm flung over my eyes, I lay back, mind racing. Had I given myself away completely? One of these days, Claire would connect the dots. Hell, it was a miracle she hadn't already. Once the truth came out, she'd probably be kicking herself for overlooking the obvious. Definitely had to back it down a notch, at least until Sunday.
I opened the next email.
To: Z
Subject: Curiosity
Haven't you heard, curiosity killed the cat?
To: Claire
Subject: Re: Curiosity
Good thing I'm not a cat. As long as it doesn't kill our relationship...
To: Z
Subject: Relationship
It's hard to have a relationship when you can't trust me with even your first name. I suppose I just need to wait a few days, huh?
In the meantime, can we maybe share a little more?
Do you live alone? Do you have any pets? What do you drive?
These little things I would have learned by now with a normal relationship. But we are doing things differently.
Crap. It just kept getting worse. Everything I said somehow made things worse. I dug myself deeper with every word, every turn of phrase. I really wasn't cut out for this secret admirer shit.
I said my goodbyes to my family because I was feeling like pretty shitty company. I went home before I responded, my mind on Claire and the whole situation as I drove home. By the time I got home, I'd come up with a reply.
To: Claire
Subject: Re: Relationship
I want so badly to tell you my name. But when it's out there, it can't be taken back. And until you know, you have no idea how much is at risk. And I know that just makes it sound worse, doesn't it?
Yes, I live alone. I have a 2 bedroom apartment between the lake and the historic district. The new complex with the big pool. Top floor walk-up. Nice view. Those stairs get to be a real bitch though. At one point, I had a temporary roommate, but it was just my sister. I've never lived with a woman before, if that's what you were wondering.
No pets, can't have them here.
And I have a truck. What did you think I drove? A Barbie pink corvette... Or maybe a lime green Bug with the flower vase?
31
Claire
Five drew around before I realized. I sent one last email to Z before climbing in my car.
To: Z
Subject: Black Friday
Doing any shopping today?
To: C
Subject: Re: Black Friday
Nope. Nada. Zilch.
Staying home, and safe, in my nice warm bed. My plans today are to lay around and do nothing. Okay... I might go over to my parents and hang out. My youngest sis is home from college for the weekend, so I may visit with her a bit.
You?
To: Z
Subject: Re: Re: Black Friday
SLEEP!!!
My plans are for blessed sleep. *yawns*
I cursed when I pulled in at my apartment. Mr. McPervertson sat in a camping chair in the breezeway between our doors. Exhaustion filled my very bones, but from the way he perked up upon seeing my car, I knew he'd be trouble. And I just didn't have the energy for his crap.
Grabbing my phone from the cupholder, I fired off a quick text to Zane.
Claire: You up?
Zane: Yup. Habit. Can't sleep in anymore. You OK?
Claire: Do you know where I live? Could you come over like ASAP? Like right this second?
Zane: Be there in 5.
I sat in the car, doors locked for three or four minutes. I watched as Mr. McPervertson got up and went inside his apartment. He took his chair, so I decided to make a break for it.
Key in hand, I hurried up to my apartment. Just as I slid the key in the lock—
"I wondered when you'd get out of that damn car. You aren't trying to avoid me, are you? Because you really don't want to upset me." A bony hand shoved me from behind, pushing my face up against the brick.
The pounding of my heart throbbed loud in my ears, but it wasn't quite enough to drown out the mouth-breathing monster behind me. His hand came around to cup my breast and I froze.
My mind said, "Fight." But I couldn't move. I stood still while he fondled me roughly, pinching my nipple beneath his cigarette-stained fingers.
I couldn't even make my mouth form an argument. Just stood silently and allowed his touch. My skin crawled when he moved my hair and nuzzled my neck.
"Hey, get the fuck away from her, asshole."
Mr. McPervertson moved away so quickly that I thought he must have been yanked away. When I turned around, I could see that was exactly what happened. Zane had the nasty man pinned to the wall across from my door. Both men looked furious.
"Get inside, Claire. Let me deal with this." Zane slammed the older man against the door.
I finally got the key to turn in the lock. As I walked inside I heard Zane's growled threat. "You touch my woman again, I'll make you disappear. I work construction. They'll never find your body."
My hands were shaking as I stood in the living room, waiting for Zane to walk in the door. Maybe I could stay with friends until my lease was up. Talia and Sean had that big house now. If I had to, I'd even ask Mr. and Mrs. Richmond if I could stay with them. I couldn't risk this again. Thanks to that creep, I didn’t feel safe in my own home.
When the door opened, I started walking. I didn't stop until I was pressed firmly to Zane's chest and his arms wrapped around me. Clinging to him like a vine on an old house, I cried against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to call."
He tipped my face up and brushed the tears from my cheeks with the work-roughened pads of his thumbs. "You can always call me. I will always come."
I nodded and fought back another sob.
"Hey, you are shaking. This wasn't your first run in with that guy, was it?"
"No. He's getting worse."
"Yeah, he's already drunk as a skunk. I'd lay money on him drinking all night. Tell you what... I'm not working today. Why don't you gather up what you'll need for the day and come nap at my place? I'll bet you'll sleep better than you would here."
I hesitated. Sleeping at Zane's place was a step I wasn't sure I wanted to take.
"Hey, just sleep. I promise to keep my hands to myself. You can lock the bedroom door. I'll even leave if you'd rather."
I finally shoved my objections away and agreed. I grabbed scrubs to change into later, something to sleep in, and some basic makeup and toiletries before hurrying back to Zane before he could change his mind.
When I came out of the bedroom, he stood in front of my bookcase, the little snow globe he'd given me in his hand. He stared down at the little trinket looking deep in thought.
He looked up and smiled. "You kept it? I was sure when I gave it to you that the poor little couple would be thrown in the first trash can you came to."
"It's pretty." Why did I keep blushing so much around Zane? My cheeks heated as I defended keeping his little gift.
"I'm glad you did." He sat it down carefully and held out his hand. "Let me take that bag for you. I thought, if you are okay with it, you could just ride with me and I'll bring you back for your car later?"
32
Zane
After I had Claire safely in the cab of my truck, I realized that I was going to be taking her straight to the apartment I'd just told her about as Z. If she made the connection, the secret admirer game was up. Although in some ways, the end would be a relief.
/> She didn't say anything as we pulled up. Or when we climbed the three flights of stairs.
I unlocked the door and flipped on some lights. "So, this is it."
"Yeah. I've been here before with Talia. When she was staying with you..."
"Oh, yeah. Right. Um... Shower if you want. Should be clean towels in my bathroom at least. Not sure about the hall bath, I don't really use it." I opened the closed door. "As you can see, the bed in the room Talia was using is buried under all my mom's Christmas presents. She was afraid Karly would snoop and see everything while she's in town this weekend, so my place became her dumping ground. I can move them... Or you can just sleep in my bed."
Her cheeks turned pink at the comment about sleeping in my bed.
"I'll be in the living room if you need anything."
"Thanks, Zane. You've been too generous today already. I won't make you work. That's a lot of presents."
She stepped into my room and shut the door. I heard the shower kick on a few minutes later. Sitting on the couch, I tried to watch TV. Tried to not think about the naked woman in my shower.
The water kicked off. But I wasn't prepared when she came in the living room wearing nothing but one of my old t-shirts. I'd known she had the shirt. Hell, she'd even sent me, well, Z, a picture of it. But the reality was so much better than the digital glimpse.
I stared, mouth hanging open while I tried to make my tongue form words. Finally, I managed, "So, that's where my shirt went. You stole it!"
She giggled nervously. "Uh... yeah. A while ago."
I stood and took her in my arms. "Keep it. It looks way better on you than it ever did on me." It took a lot of effort, but I contented myself with the lightest brush of my lips across her forehead. I nudged her back toward the bedroom. "Now, go get in my bed so I can sit out here alone and fantasize about you being there for a way sexier reason."
She took one step away from me before stopping. "Could you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?"
"Yeah." Even if it killed me. "So, how long has that guy been bothering you?"
"Pretty much since I moved in... I have three more months before my lease is up. I wanted to break it, but the fee is outrageous and I lose my deposit and have to pay rent for any months they can't rent it before then."
"So lose the deposit. It's not worth the fucking risk. That guy is a drunk, and a predator. You shouldn't have to tolerate his shit." I pulled back the covers and watched her slide in, my t-shirt riding high on her perfect thighs. Fists clenched, I bit back a groan. "You need to move, for sure."
"I know. But I can't afford rent on two places and I can't get out of the lease, so I am stuck."
"You could stay here," I murmured, sitting down next to her.
"Zane..."
"Hush. I know you won't. Just saying you could. Hell, you wanna switch apartments 'til your lease is up? I'd do it in a heartbeat. I don't want you near that guy anymore." I pulled the blankets up over her. Smoothing her hair back, I cupped her cheek. "I'm glad you called me today. Now, go to sleep. I'll sit right here until you fall asleep. And I won't be any farther than the kitchen, okay?"
"Thanks." Claire closed her eyes and sighed.
I waited until her breathing evened out and the pinched crease of worry eased from her face before I stepped out of the room. It had to mean something that she'd reached out to me when she was in danger, instead of the mysterious Z, right? That when she was scared, my name was the first to come to mind.
Once it was late enough to be sure Talia was up, I called her.
"What do you know about Claire's asshat neighbor?"
"Good morning to you too. You mean Mr. McPervertson?"
"Nasty looking fucker with a hygiene problem. Lives across the hall." I cracked a couple eggs into a skillet for some breakfast and started fresh coffee. "Drunk asshole had her pinned to the wall this morning feeling her up."
"He what! Oh my God, Zane. Wait... how do you know this?"
"Because she sent me a text saying she needed me ASAP. So, I went running like the sap I am."
"You put an end to it, right?"
"The fuck you think I did? Put on a skirt and cheered him on?"
"Haha. She okay? She had a restraining order against him. It basically just said he couldn't go into her apartment. The judge wouldn't restrict the shared breezeway."
"Yeah, I wondered about that. He doesn't seem the type to let a piece of paper stop him."
"Not at all." Worry tinted her voice. "Should Sean and I go over there?"
"She's asleep in my bed. I took care of it. But I don't want her staying there anymore. I’m just not in a position to push anything with her." I shoveled a spoon of eggs in my mouth and washed them down with strong, hot coffee.
"No, I'll talk to her. But she reached out to you! Wait, you you? Or did you have to out yourself this morning?"
"Me, T. I was as surprised as you are."
"Good. I'm not sure she's ready to accept you as her love interest, but I think she's coming around. I'll talk to her about Mr. McPervertson though."
"Is that really his name?"
"Nah. She made it up."
"Thought so."
"Love you, bro. Thank you for taking care of my girl."
I hung up the phone and found myself wandering back to the bedroom. Claire looked so peaceful, her blonde locks spread across my pillow. While watching her sleep, I thought up the next clue for our upcoming rendezvous.
33
Claire
I woke up to my alarm blaring at three-thirty. I was so over this night shift crap. Once I'd shut the alarm off, I stretched. I hugged the pillow close and inhaled deeply. The entire bed smelled like Zane—a touch of cologne, the faintest hint of sweat, and an undertone of sawdust. Like a real man.
My phone started dinging with all the notifications now that I had actively touched it again. The first thing I looked at was email.
To: Claire
Subject: Sunday at noon
Good afternoon, my sweet angel,
I'd say good morning, but I hope you've slept. I hope it's afternoon before you open those big, blue eyes and read my words. I'll be sad if I found out you didn't sleep.
You've got the date and time right for our upcoming date.
Now let's narrow down the what.
Tomorrow we will get into the where.
Today's clue:
The weather's supposed to be warm.
In the seventies, I've heard.
So I thought it would be a good time to go see some birds.
Water crashing down,
On the north side of town.
Crap, I really suck at poetry. You got this, right? If you can't figure it out, ask your best friend for a hint.
-Z-
A surge of guilt rose in my chest. Z hadn't even registered in my thoughts today. I hadn't even considered reaching out to him for help this morning. Zane had been my first and only thought. I sat up and looked down at my phone.
I had to tell him about today, right?
Even if it killed our ... whatever it was.
I sighed and hit reply.
To: Z
Subject: Re: Sunday at noon
Hey Z,
Um... about today. I don't know how you are going to take this, but I have to tell you. I can't keep it secret because it wouldn't be fair to you.
After a scary incident with my creepy neighbor (the one you met...), I ended up spending the day at Zane's. He saved me from the neighbor and insisted I not stay there alone. So, while nothing more than a hug happened, you should know that I did stay here.
And for the clue, Garden Falls?
I'd love to go up there with you, if it's still on offer.
Claire
I flopped back on the bed and stared up at the slow-moving fan. This wasn't like me. Talking to one man, while lying in another man's bed. I had to make a choice. Before one or more of them got hurt.
A light tapping drew my gaze to the open door.
>
"You okay? Heard you stirring after your alarm went off." Zane propped one shoulder against the door frame. "Sleep okay?"
"I'm fine, thanks. Um, Zane?"
"Yeah?" He smiled and took a step into the room. When he sank down next to me on the bed, the guilt threatened to overwhelm me.
"I..." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment. "You know I'm seeing someone else. I can't do this."
"Do what? Stay safe?" He covered one of my hands with his. "I haven't pushed for more, have I?"
"No."
"Then why you stressing over it?" He grabbed one of the pillows and lay on his stomach next to me. "See, you are just making trouble where there is none. And I'm just over here wondering what I'm going to have for dinner."
"Really? That's what you are thinking about." I slugged him in the shoulder, a big grin on my face.
"Nope. But it made you smile."
"You're a goober."
"Still made you smile."
The big grin on his face set my heart aflutter. My fifteen-year-old self would have just died to have been in bed with Zane. The heat of another damn blush crept up in my cheeks and I pulled the blanket up over my face.
"And just what are you thinking about?" The corner of the blanket lifted up. "Oh, it was that bad, huh? And you called me a perv."
"Remembering just what I'd have given to have been in your bed years ago," I whispered.
"What?"
I took a deep breath. "I had a huge crush on you. You barely knew I existed. That was over a long time ago."
"Damn."
"Damn what?"
"Damn, I missed out. Damn, I could have had you for years now. Just all around damn." A mischievous glint brightened his eyes. "What did you think about us doing in my bed?"