Christmas with the Duchess

by Tamara Lejeune

  “Indeed?” said Colin, a little startled. “Which half are you?”

  “You jest, sir. Emma is still in mourning. We are determined to be discreet. I do my best not to even look at her, lest anyone suspect our true feelings.”

  “And what might those be?” Colin asked politely.

  Nicholas blinked at him. “Why, that we are in love, of course. As soon as her period of mourning is up, we intend to be married.”

  “Married?” Colin echoed in blank astonishment. “To whom?”

  “To each other, of course,” said Nicholas.

  “You and Emma?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you can’t marry Emma,” Colin scoffed. “You have the pox.”

  Nicholas gaped at him. “What? No, I don’t.”

  “Yes, you do,” Colin insisted. “You’re a sailor. All sailors have the pox.”

  “That is not true,” Nicholas protested. “I believe in clean living.”

  Colin snorted. “A girl in every port, and any port in a storm. That’s your motto. That’s a sailor’s idea of clean living.”

  “I resent that,” said Nicholas.

  “Well, I resent you aspiring to marry my sister when you have the pox!” said Colin.

  “I do not have the pox,” Nicholas said angrily.

  “How do you know?”

  Nicholas blinked at him. “What do you mean, how do I know? I know.”

  “You could have an exotic strain, a strain that is nothing like the pox you people usually get,” said Colin. “Perhaps you got it from that girl in that tavern in Singapore.”

  “I’ve never been to Singapore.”

  “You’re completely missing the point! The point is, you have the pox. Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Colin added quickly. “Lots of people do. When one has congress with strange women, these things are bound to happen.”

  “But I don’t have congress with strange women,” Nicholas said flatly. “As an officer of the Royal Navy, it is my duty to set a good example for the crew. I am…untouched by a woman. It simply isn’t possible that I could be infected.”

  “Good Lord,” breathed Colin. “You mean you’re a virgin?”

  “Yes,” Nicholas said simply.

  “And you don’t have the pox?”

  “I do not. Now, I don’t need your approval to marry Emma,” Nicholas went on, “but you are her brother. I should like to have your approval.”

  “Well,” said Colin. “If you don’t have the pox, what objection could there be?”

  “Thank you, sir,” Nicholas said, as Octavia returned with a groom leading two mounts.

  “Julia not yet arrived?” she said coolly. “Pity. Charmer wasn’t available anyway. It looks as though we’ll have to go without you, Lord Colin.”

  “Not at all,” said Colin. “Julia’s obviously forgotten the appointment. I’ll ride with you. Fetch Bumblebee,” he commanded the groom.

  “Sorry, Lord Colin,” the man replied. “Miss Augusta’s taken Bumblebee.”

  “Miss Augusta?” Nicholas repeated in astonishment.

  At that very moment, Augusta Fitzroy, mounted on a beautiful bay mare, came cantering at them from across the meadow. Woman and horse seemed melded into a single creature as they sailed easily over a boxwood hedge. Colin gave her a friendly wave with his hat, and Augusta obligingly guided her mount over to them.

  Nicholas stared at Octavia in disbelief. “You lied!”

  Although she would never be as pretty as her youngest sister, Augusta looked as well as she could on the back of her horse. Her dark eyes had been brightened by the exercise, and her color was high.

  “Are you going riding, Cousin Nicholas?” she cried gaily. “I’ve just come from the meadow! You’ll want to watch out for the rabbits!” Her mount turned in circles, eager to be off again, but Augusta seemed quite used to her antics. “Quiet, you brute!” she told the mare curtly, bringing her firmly under control. “A beautiful day, is it not? The air is so crisp!”

  White with rage, Octavia clenched her fists. “Augusta, how dare you! I told you I was taking Cousin Nicholas for a ride. How dare you intrude on our appointment!”

  Augusta stared at her blankly. “Intrude on your appointment? Don’t be daft! I don’t want to marry him. No offense, Cousin Nicholas,” she quickly added, “but I don’t want to marry anyone. I realized it quite forcibly when I met you.”

  “I’m glad I helped you realize it, Cousin Augusta,” said Nicholas.

  “Well, you did!” said Augusta. “You’re so good-looking, you see. All my sisters were in such a state about you, but I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing, and I was the one who was supposed to marry you! I was ever so glad when Cousin Michael jilted Octavia, because it meant that I was reprieved. You see,” she said earnestly, “I want to be like my Aunt Harriet.”

  Colin was fascinated. “Do you really, Miss Augusta? Why?”

  Augusta leaned forward to pat the mare’s neck. “Oh, I know she is poor, but she has her freedom. She is no one’s property. And she gets to live here, at Warwick, all year round!”

  “Only because no one wants her!” Colin protested.

  “Lord Michael did not jilt me,” Octavia spat.

  “If you say so, Octopus!” Augusta said cheerfully. “Well, I’d better get Bumblebee back to the stables for her rubdown! She won’t admit it, of course, but she’s completely exhausted! Remember what I said about the meadow, Cousin Nicholas! Rabbit warrens everywhere! Best avoid it altogether, I say! Your horse could break a leg.”

  With that, she was off.

  Octavia composed herself. “I will not be treated in this manner by anyone!” she said. “I must beg to return to the house.”

  Without a backward glance, she swept off toward the house.

  “We are well rid of her, I think,” said Colin.

  “I cannot bear to think of a young woman telling lies!” said Nicholas. “I beg your pardon, Lord Colin, but I do not think I care to ride today. I must speak to my poor aunt about my cousin’s behavior. I must speak to her at once.”

  With murmured apologies, he strode off.

  “Take that, Aunt Harriet,” Colin murmured to himself with a smile.

  Earlier that morning, Lady Harriet had spied Julia leaving the house. Thinking quickly, she had grabbed a basket and run after the girl.

  “Julia?” she had called after her. “Julia! Where do you think you’re going?”

  Julia stopped short of the shrubbery at the edge of the lawn. She was wearing a riding ensemble of royal blue. “Where does it look like I’m going, Aunt Harriet?” she said saucily, holding out both arms. “I’m going for a ride with Lord Colin.”

  “Nonsense,” said Lady Harriet, hurrying across the lawn to claim her niece. “I need you to come with me to the kitchen garden. We’re snipping herbs this morning. There was a shocking lack of fennel in the pantry this morning.”

  “You’re hurting me, Aunt Harriet,” Julia complained as her aunt twisted her arm.

  Before Julia knew what was happening, she was in the little walled garden behind the kitchen with her aunt’s basket over one arm and a set of shears in the other. “I’ll be right back,” said Lady Harriet, closing the iron gate behind her. “I’m just going to fetch my shawl. Get to work. You young girls today are so idle.”

  Julia waited but three or four minutes after her aunt’s departure, listlessly decapitating a few stalks of mint and sage, before deciding to make a run for it.

  To her annoyance, the gate proved to be locked. Vexed, Julia fetched the kitchen shears and attacked the lock. Attracted by the noise, a handsome young cavalry officer came around the corner and found her there, on her knees. Julia looked up as his shadow fell across the lock.

  “Captain Palafox,” she exclaimed happily. “My aunt has accidentally locked me in. I cannot get out.”

  Palafox chuckled. “Miss Julia! Perhaps I can help,” he said, kneeling down. “I’m quite good with small openings, as it happens.
”

  Julia had every hope of his success, and, in just a few moments, she was free.

  “I was going for a ride,” she told him, “before my aunt accidentally locked me in.”

  “I will walk with you, if I may,” he said gallantly.

  “I suppose that would be all right,” she said, giving him a sly, sidelong look. “As long as Cousin Nicholas doesn’t find out. He’s fearfully jealous, you know.”

  “I am not surprised,” said Palafox. “You must make conquests wherever you go.”

  Julia stared up at him, thrilled. “Why? Have I made a conquest of you?”

  “Oh, yes, Miss Julia,” he said huskily.

  “My goodness!” said Julia. “I wasn’t even trying to make a conquest of you! It’s as if I have some strange, hypnotic power over the opposite sex, but I have not yet learned how to wield it properly.”

  Palafox looked around sharply for witnesses. Finding none, he led the young girl behind a hedge. Julia sat down on a small garden bench, trembling with anticipation.

  “Are you very eager to learn, Miss Julia?” he asked her.

  She looked up at him provocatively. “It would not be proper for me to learn,” she answered, “until I am safely married.”

  “Oh? You mean to have lovers, then?”

  “Sir!” she protested, fluttering her lashes at him. “My husband will be my teacher, of course.”

  “Oh, but husbands never teach their wives anything worthwhile. If you want to learn, Miss Julia—if you really want to learn—you’re going to need a lover.”

  “Then I shall have one,” she said, bright-eyed. “Why shouldn’t I? Many married ladies do have lovers, after all. Look at the duchess! She is notorious for her affairs. They say she bore Lord Byron an illegitimate child, and they keep it hidden away somewhere in Italy.”

  “I had not heard that,” he laughed. “I have only heard that she is more skilled than any courtesan in the art of giving a man pleasure.”

  Julia squirmed in delight. “Who told you that?” she demanded breathlessly.

  Smiling, he laid a finger across her lips. “That would be telling.”

  “Tell me!” she demanded, taking his hand. “Tell me, or I shall break your little finger!”

  He laughed. “Shall I whisper in your ear?”

  When she nodded eagerly, he put one boot on the bench next to her. Her pretty lips parted in anticipation, as his sleek head bent low.

  Julia sighed happily. “I should like to be as skilled as a courtesan in the art of giving a man pleasure,” she murmured.

  “Julia!” cried a shocked voice.

  Nicholas was the shocked man who went with the voice.

  Julia jumped. “Cousin Nicholas!” she cried, guilty color spreading across her face. “Captain Palafox was just telling me the most delicious piece of gossip about the duchess!”

  This revelation only made her cousin look angrier. “Where is your governess?” he demanded. “I’m beginning to think you don’t have one! Never mind! Go back to the house at once! I am shocked, Julia! Shocked and grieved.”

  Julia stamped her foot. “At least he does not treat me like a child,” she declared, her chin quivering as she fought back tears. “He treats me like a woman!”

  Nicholas raised his hand threateningly. “By God, if you do not go back to the house this instant, I will put you over my knee and spank you!”

  Her face dissolving in tears, she ran away.

  “As for you, sir—” Nicholas began, turning to Captain Palafox. “This is the second time I have found you importuning my little cousin.”

  Palafox looked bored. “Importuning! I protest, my lord. I found the child locked in the kitchen garden. I rescued her from captivity. She told me she had an appointment at the stables. I was simply escorting her to her friends.”

  “You were almost kissing her!”

  “It may have appeared that way, my lord,” Palafox admitted. “She had something in her eye, and I was getting it out. Your lordship will excuse me.”

  Bowing, he left Nicholas. His excuses seemed so plausible that Nicholas almost wondered if they might be true. His first inclination was to trust the word of an officer, albeit an army officer. But he still did not trust the man.

  “You’re up very early,” Emma remarked as Colin slipped into her room. Seated at her escritoire, she was writing letters. She looked at him over the tops of her spectacles. “Monty’s been looking for you. What have you been up to?”

  “You mustn’t question me,” he replied, sprawling on the sofa. “Ring for more chocolate, will you?” he said, after looking into the pot on the tray. “This stuff is curdled.”

  Impatiently, Emma set down her pen and rang the bell.

  “Have you ever thought of marrying again?” Colin asked her.

  “Lord, no,” Emma replied with an astonished laugh. “Why should I?”

  “No, reason,” he said, moving his feet so the servant could take away the old tray. Since parting company with Nicholas at the stables, Colin’s conscience had been troubling him. The poor man actually seemed to be in love with Emma, and he seemed to believe that his feelings were returned. This made Colin feel slightly guilty for having told Emma that Nicholas had the pox. “I was only wondering,” he went on presently. “You wouldn’t, say, want to marry young Camford, would you?”

  Emma looked at him incredulously. “He has the pox.”

  “Yes, I know he has the pox,” Colin said. “I’m the one who told you he has the pox. What I’m asking is: if he didn’t have the pox, would you marry him?”

  “No, of course not. Colin, what is this about?” she demanded, her hands on her hips.

  “Oh, nothing. Just a little wager I have going with Aunt Harriet.”

  Emma laughed. “She thinks I’m going to marry Nicholas? You should feel guilty, Colin, for taking an old lady’s money.”

  “It’s only ten shillings. And you’re definitely not interested in Camford?”

  “Not even if he weren’t infected with the pox,” said Emma, going back to her correspondence. “Aunt Harriet might as well pay you her ten shillings now. I think I can safely promise you that I shall never marry Lord Camford!”

  Colin heaved a sigh of relief, and his conscience was clear.

  “Whatever happened to fair play?” Lady Harriet lamented at tea that afternoon as Colin brought her cup.

  “This from a woman who locked her own niece in the kitchen garden,” Colin retorted.

  “What about you?” she snapped back. “You did everything you could to spoil Octavia’s chances. How dare you expose her lies? You are shameless, sir.”

  “I just happened to be going for a ride myself,” Colin said loftily. “I just happened to meet Nicholas and Octavia at the stables.”

  “At eight o’clock?” she scoffed. “You never got up so early before, and you know it.”

  “All right,” he said. “But you locked poor Julia in the garden! There is no comparison. You’ll be drowning her in the lake next, I shouldn’t wonder. That’s one way to make sure he don’t marry her!”

  “I wouldn’t actually harm the child,” Lady Harriet said indignantly. “I wouldn’t have interfered at all, if you hadn’t interfered first.”

  “Well, then, let us have a pact,” Colin said reasonably. “No more interference. Shall we let nature take its course? There’s an idea.”

  “Oh, yes?” she said angrily. “Now that you have completely spoiled Octavia’s chances? Say what you will of my methods, but Julia may still get him if she applies herself. Thanks to you, Camford is now convinced that Octavia is a liar.”

  “She is a liar,” Colin pointed out. “Oh, I don’t want to quarrel with you, old woman,” he added quickly. “We’ve always been friends, sort of.” Reaching into his pocket, he brought out a gold coin. “Here’s a guinea. Shall we call it even?”

  Lady Harriet snatched it from him. “Considering I might have had seven hundred pounds…” she grumbled, tucking the coin i
nto the decollete of her purple lace gown.

  “What would you do with seven hundred pounds anyway?” he jabbed back, but his heart wasn’t really in it. His steel-blue eyes were searching the room. “Now, where the devil is Monty?” he murmured. “I’ve not seen him all day. Do you see him?”

  “These officers all look alike to me,” sniffed Lady Harriet. “Their red coats and their fat necks. Perhaps your Scotsman has made a new friend,” she suggested. “Perhaps you should have paid more attention to him instead of chasing after poor Octavia.”

  “It’s not like him to miss his tea,” Colin fretted. “He gets a sick headache if he misses his tea. I’d better go and see if he’s all right.”

  Absently, he handed Lady Harriet his cup, and made his way out of the room.

  He found Monty in his room, writing letters.

  “Monty? Aren’t you coming down for tea?” he called curiously from the door. “We have those little cakes you like. Shall we risk going down together?” he added waggishly.

  Monty would not look at him. “Something has happened. I have to go.”

  The door to his dressing room stood open and Colin could see Monty’s man within, packing his master’s trunks.

  “You’re leaving?” Colin said incredulously. “Why? What has happened?”

  Monty set down his pen and sprinkled sand over the letter he was writing to absorb any excess ink. “My father’s ill. I am called home.”

  Colin sat down on the chest at the foot of the bed. “I can always tell when you’re lying, Monty,” he said. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Monty sprang up from the desk. “Very well,” he said. “When I woke up this morning, this had been pushed under the door.” He threw a screwed-up piece of paper at Colin.

  Colin calmly smoothed it out and read it. “An anonymous warning,” he observed contemptuously, “sent by some well-meaning soul, no doubt.”

  “No doubt!”

  “‘Lord Colin is a backgammon player. You have been warned,’” Colin read out loud before tossing the scrap of paper aside in disgust. “Oh, how tiresome! It’s Eton all over again. I do hope you’re not too shocked, dear boy,” he added dryly.