Heart of Love

by Shanna Hatfield

  When they walked inside the kitchen together, she smiled as her dad kissed her mom on the cheek.

  “How was your day, Susie-Q?” Ken used the nickname he’d bestowed on his wife nearly thirty years ago.

  “Just fine. It feels good to be back to work full-time,” Sue said as she started setting out the makings for tacos.

  Last fall, Sue had been riding with their son, Sam, in his car when an impatient driver decided to pass another car in a deep fog and hit them head on.

  Sue spent months recovering from a broken arm, shattered collarbone, and cracked pelvis. Recently, she returned to full-time work as the office manager at an investment firm in Tenacity.

  Sam wasn’t quite as fortunate as Sue, suffering partial paralysis from the waist down. He worked to recover from the collision both physically and emotionally.

  Before the accident, he was a fun-loving cocky guy with the world on his string. He was engaged to a lovely girl, had his own apartment over the barn, and ran the farm while Ken worked at the equipment sales job.

  Now, Sam was quiet, withdrawn, and grappling to find a way to get past his bitterness while overcoming his physical challenges.

  “Let me change and I’ll help you finish dinner, Mom,” Anna said as she hurried to her bedroom. At twenty-four, living at home with her parents, it seemed like she’d taken huge steps backward in her life. After the accident, she quit her job in Portland and returned to the farm. Her family needed her more than she needed her independence.

  She finished braiding her hair and secured the end with an elastic hair band as she walked into the kitchen. Anna felt confident and strong at home, where no one would make fun of the way she spoke or act offended if she didn’t hear what they said.

  Home was her comfort zone, fortress, and refuge.

  “Hey, Sam!” Anna smiled at her brother when he rolled into the kitchen in his monster-truck version of a wheelchair that allowed him to get around on farm with relative ease. “How’s it going?”

  “Just dandy, for a cripple,” Sam responded. She caught a wry grin as he turned his wheelchair around to face the dining table.

  Anna rolled her eyes and faced her mom. One of these days, the Sam they used to know would resurface. She was sure of it. Little bits had started to emerge in the last month. The warmer weather helped his attitude and outlook.

  Immediately after the accident, Sam was so angry. He struck out at everyone and everything. His fiancée, Lisa, was beside herself when he called off their engagement and told her he never wanted to see her again. It was a good thing Lisa ignored his protests and continued to be a solid support during his months of recovery. Although their wedding plans lingered in limbo, Anna held a surety that they would find a way to make a life together. They loved each other too much not to try.

  Sam, who treasured every stem of hay, blade of grass, and stalk of wheat that grew on the farm, battled to adjust to the fact that he could no longer do what he loved — farm.

  Despondent and ready to give up, Sam reluctantly agreed to see a new therapist Sue located in Portland. Mel came to the house four times a week and put Sam through hours of grueling exercises and massages. After a month of work, the family could see real progress. Despite many doctors predicting a life bound to his wheelchair, Sam had a glimmer of hope something more might be in store for his future.

  Since his initial sessions went so well, Sam now visited Mel three times a week at his facility in Portland. There, he had access to unlimited equipment and a therapy pool. With the settlement from the accident, Sam had purchased a hand-controlled car. A simple thing like driving himself to his appointments gave him a returned sense of freedom he’d missed since the accident.

  As she helped her mom finish preparing the meal, Anna handed the plates and cutlery to Sam so he could set the table. Her dad hurried out to feed the livestock and returned as they placed the last dish on the table.

  “Perfect timing, as usual.” Ken grinned while he washed up at the sink. Once he sat down at the table, they all bowed their heads and he said grace.

  The conversation around the table held a lively tone until Sue asked Anna about her day.

  “It was fine, Mom.” Anna toyed with the taco on her plate.

  “It doesn’t sound like it was fine. What happened?” Sue knew she’d have to dig before Anna would confess what bothered her.

  Anna continued moving salsa around on her plate. “I made a complete fool of myself today.”

  “You do that every day,” Sam teased, as only a brother can.

  Anna looked up long enough to shoot him an icy glare. He didn’t notice, since he was already receiving a warning look from his mother.

  “What happened, Sugar?” Ken asked. Curious, he wanted to know what disaster Anna thought had befallen her this time. For some reason, things that wouldn’t bother most people deeply affected his daughter. Maybe it had to do with her self-confidence or her general fear of people. Whatever caused it, he wished he knew a cure for it.

  “I was waiting for Daddy outside the library, reading a book and not paying attention. The next thing I knew, Jake Chandler bumped into me and the book went flying. I was so embarrassed.” Heat warmed her cheeks as she recalled the incident and Anna refused to make eye contact with anyone at the table.

  “And?” Sue asked, confused. “Surely, there has to be more to the story for you to be so upset.”

  “He handed me the book and went on his merry way.” Anna huffed in frustration. How could her family not understand the magnitude of this chance encounter?

  Baffled, Sue looked at Ken while Sam reached for another taco, wisely keeping his thoughts to himself.

  “How did that make you look foolish?” Sue placed a gentle hand on Anna’s arm. “I think you left out something.”

  “Because I’m a big klutz and dropped my book and I couldn’t have looked any worse today if I’d tried,” Anna said, exasperated.

  Abruptly, Sue turned to Sam and asked him about his therapy session.

  Anna finished her dinner with her temper on a high boil. Obviously, no one cared that she’d been humiliated. Or that the one guy she had any interest in happened to be the one who bumped into her on a day when she looked like a fashion disaster.

  Jake would never give her a second glance. The impact of that, the importance of that, was beyond her family’s ability to comprehend. As soon as the dishes were finished, Anna started out the back door but her mom stopped her before she could escape.

  “Anna, do you have a crush on this Jake Chandler? Is that the problem?” Sue tamped down a smile as she held Anna by the shoulders, forcing her to look into her face.

  “Mother!” Anna drew out each letter until it sounded like a six-syllable word. “Please!”

  “Please what?” Sue squeezed Anna around her shoulders as they stood at the door. “I think you like this Jake person and that’s what has you so upset. You didn’t do anything to look foolish. He bumped into you. Was he rude? Did he say something to upset you?”

  Anna released a long sigh. “No. He was very polite and apologized. He picked up the book and handed it to me and commented about what chapter he liked best, then apologized again and left.”

  Sue couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed on her face. “He sounds like a very nice young man, Anna. He probably didn’t think a thing of it. You shouldn’t either. You have to try not to be so sensitive, sweetie. Someday, someone will come along who appreciates all you have to offer and recognizes you as a beautiful, intelligent, hard-working girl.”

  “That is never going to happen, Mom.”

  Chapter Two

  Anna looked up from the front desk at the library where she placed books onto a cart to return to the appropriate shelves when Jake Chandler sauntered inside. Quickly ducking down behind the counter, she peeked around the edge, watching him walk back to the section where they kept archives of the local newspaper. He pulled out a bound volume and set it on an empty table.

  Jake spent
a remarkable amount of time at the library doing research. He frequently strolled in and searched through some of the old maps and history books in the special collections or looked through the newspaper archives for articles.

  Anna asked Mrs. Baxter, the head librarian, what type of information Jake researched but the woman informed her it was none of their business. With a conspiratorial grin, Mrs. Baxter went on to tell her that he looked up water rights, past ownership of properties, well placements, and irrigation ditches.

  The specific information Jake needed was not available online. Some of it was available at the county courthouse, but it was easier for him to walk across the street to the library rather than drive across town.

  Anna made short work of shelving the returned books and returned to the front desk, careful to avoid the area she’d last seen Jake thumbing through a stack of maps.

  In need of a distraction, she decided to gather the books from the collection box outside. She had enough time to get them processed and returned to the shelves before her shift ended. Quietly pushing the small cart outside and down the side ramp, she unlocked the collection box and started to empty it.

  She’d lifted an armful of books and set them on the cart when she heard Jake talking to his friend, Dave. Anna kept her head down and continued emptying the box.

  “Hey, have a good evening, man,” Dave said as he walked toward the parking lot. Jake turned to wave at him. He took a blind step back into Anna, knocking the armful of books she held into the air and her to the ground.

  Startled, Jake whipped around, surprised at what he had done. He glared at the woman sprawled at his feet. He should have known it would be the library mouse. Only she would empty the collection box so quietly no one would know she was there. When the other librarians did it, it sounded like a hammer on a tin drum as they dumped books onto the cart.

  “I’m so sorry, miss.” He extended a hand toward her to help her up.

  Anna refused his hand and scrambled to her feet, tugging on her oversized gray jacket before brushing at the seat of her baggy pants.

  Jake supposed it was probably a very nice suit for someone about four sizes bigger than the timid librarian. It hung on her frame like a billowing tent. At least she wasn’t wearing the hideous glasses she had on the last time he bumped into her. Curious, he speculated how a female could have no sense of style at all. He’d yet to encounter one who had such a complete and total lack of interest in their appearance as this girl.

  “I’m really very sorry,” he said, picking up the books and stacking them on the cart. “I didn’t see you there.”

  Anna wondered how anyone could overlook a cart full of books, a tall woman, and an open collection box door, but apparently, Jake possessed that unique talent.

  “It’s fine,” she said, keeping her focus on picking up the last of the books and relocking the collection box.

  “If we’re going to keep bumping into each other, I should at least know your name.” Jake let his gaze wander from the top of her golden-brown head to the tips of her matronly black shoes. He never had a problem charming anyone and he was sure this timorous girl wouldn’t be an exception. He turned on the full power of his enticing smile and extended his hand her direction. “I’m Jake. Jake Chandler. I work across the street at the extension office.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” Anna forced herself to look him square in the eye as she accepted his hand and shook it with a firm grip.

  It probably wasn’t the most ethical thing she’d ever done, but it had been a simple matter to pull his library card information and find out his address, age, and name. Apparently, he’d been a long-time patron of the library, starting when he was in the third grade. She pictured him as a rough and tumble boy with teasing blue eyes, tousled hair, and trouble dogging his every step.

  A shock of that thick hair currently held her attention as it fell across his tanned forehead. Normally, he wore a black Stetson, but today his hatless head glistened in the afternoon sunlight. Anna fought the most intense and unsettling desire to run her fingers through his dark brown hair.

  Determined to gain control of her senses, she grabbed the cart handles with both hands. Someone like Jake would never be interested in someone like her. It was foolish to dream otherwise.

  As she turned the cart toward the ramp, Jake apologized again.

  “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you. Is there anything I can do?” The sincerity in his voice surprised her.

  “I’m fine, Mr. Chandler. Thank you.” She cast him a cautious glance then turned her attention back to the book cart.

  “Please, call me Jake,” he said. “All my friends do.” For reasons he couldn’t explain, he hoped the librarian would let him be a friend.

  Mesmerized by her lovely violet eyes, he thought they looked back at the world like a sponge – bright, moist, and absorbing everything around them.

  A man could get lost in eyes like that.

  Jake scrutinized the girl from head to toe again. He noticed her hair was in another bun, though not as severe as the one from the other day. Long bangs swept to the side with a few tendrils escaping around her ears. Without the outdated glasses, her face appeared quite attractive.

  Inquisitiveness caused him to contemplate what kind of figure hid behind the baggy, colorless clothes. The way the clothes flowed around her, it was hard to envision a shape.

  Despite his repeated warnings to himself to leave her alone, Jake wanted to know all about this girl. He wanted to discover who she was, what made her tick.

  However, it looked like he wasn’t going to get a chance to find out, at least not today.

  “Thank you, Jake.” Anna offered a dismissive nod then wheeled the cart up the ramp and back inside the library.

  It took her two weeks to recover from her run-in with Jake by the collection box. She’d managed to avoid being in his line of vision or speaking to him since he knocked her to the ground and scattered books everywhere.

  Although trying to speak to most anyone of the male gender made her nervous, Jake was the one who tied her tongue in knots and made her feel like a gangly oaf.

  The vibration of her cell phone interrupted her musings about the handsome cowboy.

  “Miss Zimmerman? This is Dr. Turey’s office. I hate to tell you this, but the frames you wanted for your new glasses are still on back-order. It’s going to be another week before we have them in. I do have your prescription sunglasses ready, though. You can pick them up anytime.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be in tomorrow to pick them up.” Anna hung up with a sigh.

  Oh, she wanted those new glasses so badly. On a whim, she’d decided to have a new pair of sunglasses made as well. For reading or computer work, it gave her a headache to wear her glasses. Nonetheless, if she wanted to see anything at a distance greater than six feet, she had to have them.

  Since her prescription hadn’t changed, she had a couple of pairs of old glasses at home that she’d been wearing as well as her old sunglasses. She’d avoided using her glasses inside the library, afraid Jake would come in and see her with the out-of-date things on like he had the first time they’d met.

  Not that it mattered.

  Mrs. Baxter had her working on special projects down in the basement most of the time, anyway. Anna sorted through stacks and stacks of neglected volumes and old books accumulated over the years. She decided which books to return service or needed repairs. She also determined which books to donate to the library book sale fundraiser, and the books that were too far gone to keep.

  Anna didn’t mind the project, content to work by herself. Hiding in the basement also meant she had zero chance of running into Jake. It was both a torment and a relief.

  If she needed a Jake fix, she could always watch out the window at five each afternoon. He and his friend walked by as they left work on their way to the parking lot.

  Jake was still on her mind as she walked out the library’s door after work, put on her sunglasses, an
d headed for her car. Normally, she would have gone out the back door and been steps away from her car, but Mrs. Baxter asked her to check and make sure Betty, one of the elderly librarians, locked the collection box. The “poor dear,” as Mrs. Baxter was prone to call Betty, often forget to lock the box after collecting the books.

  Anna checked the box and started across the parking lot. The pickup she stepped behind jumped into reverse and headed straight for her.

  Resigned to the idiot running over her, Anna threw up her hand in a futile effort of protection. The pickup stopped as her fingers brushed the tailgate. The driver pulled back into the parking space and climbed out of the truck, hurrying toward her.

  “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Jake yelled as he marched up beside Anna, not completely sure what happened.

  He thought he’d have heart failure when he looked in his rear-view mirror and saw the library mouse standing directly behind the pickup. It was a darn lucky thing he had good brakes, otherwise he’d be waiting for an ambulance to come get her right now.

  Alarmed, his heart pounded with anger and fear as he glared at her.

  Anna felt all the blood drain from her face while her legs started to buckle. She took a step back and worried she might faint for the first time in her life. Of course, it would happen at the feet of Jake Chandler. Determined to overcome the woozy feeling that settled over her, she sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes.

  Gently, Jake took her arm in his hand and held her steady. “Easy, now,” he said in the soft voice he used to work with skittish colts. “You’re fine. Nothing happened. Just take another breath. Everything is okay.”

  Anna struggled to think with Jake’s hand on her arm and him standing so close. The spicy scent of his aftershave infiltrated her senses. She watched a muscle tighten in his jaw, felt the heat of his hand on her arm.

  Despite his proximity, she couldn’t hear what he said.

  Slowly turning her head, she reached up to her hearing aid, adjusting the volume. Even though she was partially deaf, as long as she wore the hearing aid, she could usually listen to a conversation without problem. She’d also learned to read lips over the years, but right now, she couldn’t concentrate enough to follow what Jake said. If she studied his lips, it created the most irrational desire to kiss them.