Like a child, I asked, “Am I doing good, daddy?”
He chuckled covering his smile with tucked lips.
“You’re doing amazing, Sparx. And speaking of daddy, I think it’s time I feed you. The way you’re eating those fries, I know you’re hungry.”
“I’m ready when you are.” I blushed, and my stomach started doing a ratchet twerk. I guess simpler people call them butterflies.
Leiland brought his face down to mine, and I took in air, bracing myself for the spark. For the connection that would set me on fire, for the softness that I knew was only inches from me, and for the pleasure I’ve received every time we kissed.
“Well, excuse the hell out of us!” Jupiter yelled, throwing a fry before our lips could clash. Latif nodded his head smiling like a proud parent.
Leiland grinned. I stuck my finger in his dimple and smiled looking at him.
“I knew you guys were dating, but when did things get to the point where Billie Grace is calling you daddy? You don’t normally do pet names. I thought you said you guys hadn’t had sex, wench!”
I kicked her underneath the table. “Ouch!”
I really wanted to reach over the table and pop her ass in the mouth. Granted, I’m sure Leiland knew I talked about him with my girls, but I didn’t need her to broadcast and confirm it.
“I guess I should feel special. Got you calling me daddy.”
If I were a few shades lighter, I’d be beet red in the face from embarrassment.
I looked up to him and offered an explanation.
“I don’t call men nicknames because it usually makes them comfortable. It…” I took a deep breath because I knew I sounded childish. “It makes people think you guys are bonded. The dudes I’ve let in were for a specific purposes, I guess you can say. I’m not usually so endearing.” With a satisfied grin, I’d found my words.
He didn’t say anything, just nodded.
Latif broke the quiet, pulling Jupiter along.
“Bring your ass on, woman. Talk too much!” He reprimanded with a slap on the ass. Before they’d gotten too far, Latif asked if we were staying. Leiland turned to me, I lifted my eyebrow and my shoulders. Whatever he wanted to do I was down with.
“Nah, man. We’re going to head out. I appreciate you coming and trying to defuse the situation. I only hit you up because I knew Flower Child over here would call Ju to come up here. Damn shame,” he replied, jokingly thumping my forehead.
“Shut up, I am not that bad.” I pouted.
“Bitch, pick that lip up before it drags. You had us come up here, and you aren’t even staying? Assholes!” Ju grabbed her man and pulled him away leaving the two of us in the booth.
“Are you ready to go?” As he spoke, I noticed the slight bags under his eyes giving away a tiresome disposition.
“Yes. My calves hurt, and these fries ain’t nothing but a tease.”
I decided to take the flack for wanting to leave. I knew Leiland wouldn’t go if he thought I wanted to stay.
Without missing a beat, he nudged me on the shoulder. “Are you coming home with me?”
“Yes.”
“You okay with riding the bike?”
“I’ll ride anything you offer at this point,” I mumbled free of shame.
“Good girl.”
I watched as he grabbed a fry and dipped it in the sauce, “Uugh, what the hell is that?”
“It is not that bad. It’s just ranch dressing and ketchup mixed together,” I hinted, biting a fry of my own and right when he thought it was over, I rubbed a little on his lip.
“Man. You better stop that shit. I know you’ll have to use the bathroom after eating that, so go on so we can leave.” He clowned with a crooked smile.
“Fuck off. And move…” I whined shoving him out the booth, so I could in fact go to the ladies’ room.
“I knew it. There’s no way you can eat that and it not run through you.”
“Shut up. I do not have to shh….” I quieted down before telling him with tight teeth. “I don’t have to shit, jerk. I’m going to pee.”
“Well, if you take longer than three minutes you’re a liar.”
I really did just have to pee.
I think.
Leiland
With her frame protected by mine, I hummed an Arin Ray song I’d had on repeat for a week. Fresh from World on Wheels, I was looking forward to relaxing with Billie. I was happy she didn’t act like a girl on the back of my motorcycle for the first time. It was already bad enough that I was rolling without a helmet. Having to deal with her apprehension would’ve been too many negatives for a dangerous situation. Leading her up the steps, I tried to ease into my apartment without Ms. Ruthie noticing.
The smell of pork slithering underneath her apartment announced her awareness. It was close to midnight, and she was awake with the TV loud and breakfast flooding the complex’s halls.
Immediately after us walking in, she did what women do when visiting their man’s spot, look for any evidence of other women.
“Your place is really neat for a man. I can tell a woman decorated though,” she murmured loud enough for me to hear.
She glided naturally through my apartment, paying close attention to details. Her feet gravitated to the art that hung from my walls, and even my DVD collection was out of place and in her hands in no time.
Taking a seat on the sofa and removing my kicks, I saw Sparx do the same out of my peripheral.
“Would you like something a drink?”
“Yep. Got whiskey?” She grinned on my heels.
Sadly, I did have a bottle of Jack Daniels and only because I knew it was what she liked.
Eyeing the drinking glass I’d removed from the cabinet, she frowned.
“Uugh, I’m going to have to hook you up with some original Crunch merchandise. Those are so basic. I can’t have you going out like that.”
Laughing at her disgust over simple cups, I also noted her ambition.
“Yeah, you do that and let me know when you’ve sent the invoice,” I responded, adding extra ice to her drink like she preferred. When she hadn’t said anything, I looked over my shoulder to see her staring at me in a daze.
I knew that look.
The gaze of a person free falling. After the initial realization that you’re flying subsides, it’s like a cloud settles under your heart. Cradling your emotions and nurturing your faith.
A surge of “can do” erupts in your stomach and reaches your feet before your head can decipher the adrenaline.
Falling can be a beautiful bitch.
“Hey,” I called to her. Beautiful, brown orbs bore into me. Almost looking past anything physical.
“Go find us something to watch while I fix the drinks. Please?” I instructed, snapping her from the daydream.
Jumping down from the counter top, she made sure to add, “Bring snacks too.”
With drinks in my hand, I joined her in my bedroom. Not only had she gotten comfortable, she also found my stash of weed.
“Wow, just go through a man’s things? You need your ass spanked for that.” I cautioned, placing our drinks on the nightstand.
“Hush. It was on top of the dresser. And I thought you didn’t smoke. I’m offended you don’t ever do it with me. But I guess I can add it to the list of everything else you won’t do with me,” she ranted, only getting quiet to seal the blunt.
“You for sure talk more than you listen. I told you to put on a movie, but the screen is still black. And I never said I didn’t smoke. Just not as much as before I met you.”
Going over to my dresser, I removed a pair of briefs and a tank for her to change into. I grabbed pajamas pants for myself.
“Will that be good enough for you to sleep in? I know you don’t like sleeping ass naked.”
“When did we establish that I was spending the night?” she asked with a hint of panic.
“When you hopped on the back of my bike and came here knowing it was late instead of go
ing home. That’s when it was established. No Uber today, Sparx.”
“I can’t sleep here, Leiland.”
I was confused. Sparx had all but forced me to fuck her, but now she was acting out of character.
“You can, and you will.”
Completely aware that some people have genuine hang-ups about sleeping away from home, I watched the way my assumptions swung.
“I’m going to be honest. I’m confused. I thought you wanted us to move in this direction. Have a change of heart?” I asked, sitting on the end of the bed beside her.
Her fingers rotated the blunt cleverly with little effort. I knew she was using that as a distraction as she got her words together, so I was quiet. Patient.
“Leiland, I sleepwalk, and because of that, I’ve never spent the night with a man.”
“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that,” I admitted lowly.
Nodding, she leaned over to the dresser and took her drink, “Yeah, it can be a bit outrageous. That’s actually why I skipped out at Jupiter’s sleepover. I knew there was no way I could rest comfortably outside of my bed. I know it’s hard to believe considering my reputation with dudes, but it’s literally a bed and bounce thing. I’ve never allowed them to stay over or I was out their door before they started snoring.”
Attempting to ease her nerves, I grabbed ahold of her bouncing knee and caressed her.
“When’s the last time, it happened?”
“Years ago.”
“So are you ever planning on stepping out of that box? I mean, I understand what you’re hinting at, but when will you start to trust yourself?” She remained quiet, so I used the time to encourage her.
“Do you think I would allow something to happen to you? Especially in my home?” I questioned, though she was avoiding eye contact.
“That’s not the point, Leiland.”
“Then what is?”
“There’s more to it than just walking. Sometimes, I’m as functional as we are right now. It was an issue for my family in the past—”
“Answer my question. Do you trust me to protect you?” This time, I kneeled between her legs. Not giving her the chance to look away.
With teeth blinging, Sparx flushed at the direct contact. I was impressed with how easily I could turn on her happy.
“I do. Trust you…” she said, laughing at the forever reference.
“Then trust that I will protect you with my life before I allow anything to happen to you. You said it’s been years since something occurred. Have faith in your progression. Stop doubting the evidence. You’re good,” I demanded from Sparx but pocketed for myself.
There was still a lingering of panic over her face, but I didn’t give it life.
Without word, I moved from the bed into the bathroom. The blend of skating and Cali weather put me in need of a hot shower, but the visual of Sparx laying across my bed with her thighs shining caused me to twist the knob for cold.
Staring at myself in the mirror, I saw hands ease from behind my back and run down my chest. My large stature blocked my view of her, but her presence was felt before she even laid hands on me. Our image began clouding courtesy of the stream creeping from the shower and resting on the glass.
“I mean no offense when I say this.”
“Oh shit,” I blurted, afraid of what was going to come out of her mouth.
Still facing the mirror, Sparx started placing kisses down the center of my back. Speaking in between pecks of gratitude.
“I don’t know if you’re all this great or if I just don’t have much to compare you to, but either way, I love where all this is going.”
Suddenly feeling the need to see her eyes, I hurriedly turned around almost knocking her off her feet. With ease, she fell into my arms, looking up at me with admiration. It scared me. The last woman who looked at me with such esteem would never be able to reenact the move Sparx and I had just performed.
“I can’t allow you to get in the shower with me.”
“I know. I just came to watch. A girl can watch, right?”
“Indeed.” I confirmed, sitting her upright on the toilet.
She didn’t say anything, just watched as I stripped down to nothing. Her eyes told the truth—her body was ready, but everything else wasn’t in alignment.
Once in the shower, the only thing that separated us was the glass door.
“I’ve never been this close to a woman and didn’t have my dick in her.”
“Never been this close to a man without getting dicked down. You have me beside myself with differences, but it’s all for the greater good, right?”
“All for the greater, Greysons,” I hinted with a chuckle.
Noticing the sudden silence, I soaped up once more before hopping out of the shower.
I had no time to prepare for the sight laid out for me.
At that moment I wished I had Billie’s eidetic memory, the picture was too stunning not to capture.
It was obvious that Sparx had been going through my things, and this time I wasn’t as pissed as before. She looked hot in red panties and my Shepherds leather jacket. The material swallowed her miniature size, but nevertheless, she wore it well.
“I should be mad about you for snooping, but you look hot as hell right now,” I admitted with a towel around my waist that would easily show exactly how much I enjoyed the view. There was no hiding a hard dick behind a dry towel.
Standing in the middle of the bed on her knees she rubbed up and down the sleeves, fingering the patches that signified an array of accomplishments.
“It was all the way in the back of your closet.”
“And you admit that with no shame. Sad.” I challenged.
“Shut up. Not my fault you’re a hoarder and have good shit hidden in your closet. When’s that last time you broke this bad boy out?”
“About two years ago,” I told her in a faraway tone. I had been a member of The Shepherds for years, but as always, the first memory that came to mind when thinking of them was that night.
Sitting back on her feet, I heard her exhale. Looking up, she was leaning her head to the side.
“Ready to tell me what happened?”
“Lucy and I met about four years ago. It was after I already joined The Shepherds, so I was all over the place. Life wasn’t going as well as had been promised, and I was between being on the straight and narrow and not, but Lucy was different from me, which I guess is what attracted me to her. She was a calm, kind, shy girl.”
“Nothing like me,” she replied as we assumed our favorite position. Her straddling my lap. I knew with the topic of conversation she’d be safe from being poked.
“You not being that way is something I love about you. On the other hand, you guys have similarities. Just like you, she was unfamiliar with certain aspects of life and gave me permission to lead. I didn’t do all that I could’ve; I abused the power. She started wanting parts because that’s where I was, and I didn’t object.”
Leaning my head back on the headboard, I cherished the kisses Sparx planted on my Adam’s apple encouraging me to continue. Bringing my focus back to her, I gripped her bare thighs for support.
“Being honest, I was young and dumb. All that was running through my head was the whole Bonnie and Clyde bit. I was already working for the city, but on the side, I was running security and doing runs for The Shepherds. They had a lot more going on than what it appeared at face value. Anyway, everything was going well. She was satisfied with having her own bike and working at the bar while going to school. Her family didn’t care for me from the jump, so I tried hard to provide for her. And with her still staying on Northridge’s campus, it wasn’t hard to help her maintain, considering her room and board were already taken care of. But one night, she showed up unannounced at the bar while private business was being conducted, and instead of walking away, she caused a scene.”
Interrupting Billie said, “Damn, she actually does sound like me.”
Chuckling, I gave he
r a kiss. “Right, but you two differ right at the perfect curve. She was easily manipulated whereas you’re strong-minded, and I appreciate that.
“That night, Lucy allowed someone to get in her mind and order her steps. She came yelling and screaming until I came out to see what the hell was happening. Her reasoning was bullshit, and when I saw the white powder under her nose, I knew her flipping out wasn’t just because someone convinced her I was sleeping with another woman. The rest of the crew came out, and as soon as she saw them, she felt threatened and pulled a gun on us. Before I could fucking register what was happening Mando, one of The Shepherds, shot her.” I revealed, shutting my eyes.
“Oh my God.”
“It was mayhem afterward. Her family, of course, blamed me for everything, including her new vice. I had never done cocaine, so to be the blame of someone else’s addiction was bullshit. I loved Lucy, and there was no way in hell I would’ve put something like that on her sleeve. And then to have had one of my brothers be the one to hook my lady then take her down was tragic. I wasn’t myself for a long time after, and I haven’t been in a relationship since. I later found out Mando only shot her because he thought she’d sell him out for giving her drugs. Certain rules of The Shepherds would have been broken, and he didn’t want to face the repercussions.”
“Did she die?” she asked, running the tip of her thumb over my bottom lip.
“No, but she’s paralyzed from the waist down, will never be able to have kids, and it took years of therapy to understand that what happened wasn’t my doing. Mando got off scot-free for the shooting because all the members corroborated his story of self-defense, and she was high as a kite which was her downfall all the way around. Lucy looked to me for guidance, to control things, but I lured her into the lion’s den without even noticing I was a part of the pack. When she was hospitalized, her parents refused to let me see her. Moved her back to Chicago without notice.”
“Have you guys spoke since?”
“Yeah, about a year ago. She needed to admit her part in the whole situation for her sobriety. I couldn’t fault her. I went through my own depression afterwards. Couldn’t eat or sleep, didn’t trust myself. She didn’t pass, but in my heart, it was like she had. I lost my woman and my brotherhood at the same time.”
Loving You Through Our Differences Page 13