Ray of Life

by E. L. Todd

That made me feel a little better. “I hope you’re right.”

  “Even though Nathan cheated on her, he’s hard to compete with. They were engaged, after all. So she sees him differently than anyone else.”

  “I wish she would focus on why they never got married.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Austen was really messed up for a long time. The only progress I ever saw her make was when you came around. I’m glad she’s forgiven him so she can move on. But I wish she would move on rather than give him the time of day.”

  “Me too…”

  “I’ll let you know how things are going with him. She hasn’t said much.”

  “Really?” I asked in disappointment.

  “She’s told me she thinks you’re incredible and perfect and she wishes she didn’t have feelings for Nathan at all.”

  That was another hopeful sign.

  “I think she was in love with you…could possibly still be in love with you.”

  My attention piqued even more at that part.

  “But I think Nathan has made her forget that. Her feelings are so complicated that I can’t understand them, so I doubt she understands them either.”

  Looks like it’s going to be an uphill battle.

  Madeline watched the disappointment stretch across my face. “Sorry, I know I wasn’t much help. Next time she talks to me, I’ll let you know what she says about her and Nathan.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  “And just so you know, I’m rooting for you.”

  I nodded. “Thanks again.”

  “I don’t think Nathan would hurt her again, but what he did was pretty terrible. Austen deserves to be with a guy that gets it right the first time. He doesn’t need to screw up and lose her before he understands how valuable she is.”

  I did the same thing, but at a much lesser degree. I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. “Yeah…”

  I crouched down behind a box and found Austen. My gun was cradled against my chest, lit up in the dark from the UV light. “Jared is in place on the other side of the room. We only got two minutes to win this thing.”

  “We’ve got em. Like shooting fish in a barrel.” She held the gun on top of the box, her body crouched down and mostly hidden from sight.

  “We’re only up by a few hundred points. Gotta make sure they don’t get us.”

  “If I’m going down, I’m taking everyone with me.” She kept her eyes glued on the door, her finger on the trigger.

  I lost focus when I stared at her in her laser tag vest and gun. She took the game way more seriously than I expected, and it was another cute quality I didn’t expect to see. “You look so fucking cute right now.”

  “What?” She dropped her gaze from the target and looked at me.

  I wish I could push her back to the floor and fuck her right in the middle of the course, but there were cameras everywhere. I spoke louder so she could hear me over the music. “You. Look. Cute.”

  Just then, Liam ran inside with Madeline and Jenn. Jared started to fire off but only got in a few shots before all three turned on him.

  “This is it, sweetheart.” I used the box to hold my gun as I kneeled and fired. I hit Jenn in the back because she was the easiest target. Liam kept moving and Madeline crouched to the floor. “Just keep firing.” We had less than sixty seconds left, so we needed to get as many points as possible.

  Liam was the first one to figure out where we were hiding. When he noticed his vest kept lighting up but Jared was hidden behind the wall, he knew he wasn’t alone. He turned around, spotted us, and then sprinted toward us.

  “Shit, he’s coming!” Austen said.

  “Don’t stop shooting.”

  Liam aimed his gun and began to fire back before he dodged behind a pillar. Before he could take any more shots at us, the timer went off and the lights turned on. All weapons were suspended, and the game ended.

  “You guys are such cheaters.” Liam dropped his gun with attitude. “You totally ambushed us.”

  “That’s how we roll,” Austen said. “It’s not our fault you didn’t come in here with a game plan.”

  “You heard my woman.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and walked her out. “Step it up.”

  Liam rolled his eyes then grabbed Madeline. “We’ll get them back another time.”

  I moved my lips to Austen’s ear. “Yeah right.”

  Liam kept walking and didn’t turn around. “I heard that.”

  “Said it pretty loud,” I teased.

  Jared walked to our side. “We kicked their asses. Pathetic.” He high-fived Austen then did the same to me.

  “It’s from playing all those video games,” Austen said. “It’s starting to really pay off.”

  “Yep,” I said. “Just like I knew it would.” We returned our equipment then walked out of the building. “You guys wanna get some grub?”

  Liam was still in a sour mood, but he tried to hide it. “Sure. You wanna go to Riot? I could use a beer.”

  “Me too,” Austen said. “In a frosty mug with fries.”

  I pulled her tighter into my side. “You’re the perfect woman. You know that?”

  Austen smiled then quickly looked away like she was trying to hide her natural reaction. “If all I need to do is drink beer and eat fries, then your standards are pretty low.”

  “You’d be surprised. Not too many women like beer.”

  “But we all love fries,” she said. “So every woman in America fits half your criteria. My mom loves beer more than anyone else I know. Maybe she’s your soul mate.”

  I grinned. “She is pretty hot…”

  “Gross!” She smacked my arm as we walked on the sidewalk. “That’s my mom.”

  “So what? That’s exactly where you get your good looks from. It all makes sense.”

  “Hey.” Liam turned around and walked backwards. “I don’t care if you tease Austen, but her mom is my mom. And you need to stop checking out my mother because that’s a violation of the bro code.”

  “Violation?” Jared asked. “He’s already banging your sister.”

  Liam cringed before he turned around and grabbed Madeline’s hand again.

  “Does that mean my dad is hot too?” she asked.

  “Yeah, he’s not bad,” I said. “But I’ve always shopped in the chick department.”

  We arrived at the bar then got a booth in the corner, the perfect place to see the big TVs in every corner of the room. We ordered a round of beers and plates of fries so Austen would be happy. We got one of every flavor since she couldn’t make up her mind.

  “Sweet potato, garlic, cheese, and regular,” Jared said. “That’s a lot of fries.”

  “They’re all delicious in their own ways,” Austen said as she grabbed a handful of each and dropped them onto her plate.

  I stole one and popped it into my mouth.

  She gave me the death look.

  “What?” I asked. “I just had your back in the middle of a war zone. You won’t share some fries with me?”

  “You could order your own, you know.”

  I looked at the four basket of fries, which was enough to feed the entire table. “No way in hell you’re gonna eat all this by yourself.”

  “You don’t know Austen very well then,” Jared said. “She won the country pie eating contest a few years ago.”

  Austen puffed up her chest like she was proud. “First in the young women’s division, thank you very much.”

  Jesus Christ, could she get any cuter? “Did you get a trophy?”

  “A ribbon. It’s still on my fridge.”

  How did I miss that? “Wow. Your finest accomplishment.”

  “It is my finest accomplishment,” she said proudly. “Everyone said I couldn’t do it. Well, I proved them wrong.”

  “But she packed on ten pounds for it,” Liam jabbed.

  “Whatever,” Austen said. “It was totally worth it.”

  “You look perfect the way you are, so
those pounds just made you look sexier.” My arm moved around her shoulder, and my fingers felt some of her hair. It was smooth for now, but in a few hours, I would tangle it up with my fist.

  “Well, I dropped the weight shortly afterward,” Austen said. “Stopped eating for a month.”

  “Looks like you need to enter that contest again,” I said. “I’ll be in the audience cheering you on.”

  “God no.” She rolled her eyes at the memory. “I felt so sick at the end. I threw up at least three pies in the porta-potty.”

  “But you could add another ribbon to the fridge,” I reminded her.

  “One is plenty,” she said. “One day, I’ll hang it up next to my MIT degree.”

  “I say you take your degree down altogether,” Jared said. “Doesn’t mean shit compared to that ribbon.”

  “I have to agree with Jared on that one,” I said. “No comparison.”

  She rolled her eyes and dumped her fries into her ketchup one by one.

  “You put cheesy fries into ketchup?” I asked in disgust.

  She was drinking her beer when she heard my question. She gulped it down then turned to me. “Why are you always picking on me?”

  “Because you’re cute,” I said. “But in this case, you’re just weird. I’ve never seen anyone do that.”

  “First time for everything, right?” she said.

  I grabbed one of her cheese fries and dipped it into the ketchup before I popped it into my mouth. I tried to get over the taste but I couldn’t. Cheese and ketchup didn’t mix. “This is gross. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

  “What?” she asked incredulously. “You know what people put on cheeseburgers? Ketchup.”

  “But this cheese is different,” I argued. “It’s nacho cheese.”

  “Whatever,” she said as she ate another one. “Cheese is cheese.”

  “Girl, not all cheeses are created equal,” Madeline said. “We all know that.”

  “Why don’t you pick on Liam, Madeline, and Jenn?” she asked as she grabbed the handle to her mug. “They just lost, remember?”

  I grinned while I watched her slurp down her beer like a man. “It’s more fun to pick on you. You get all mad. And when you’re mad, you look even cuter. It’s something about the way your eyes change.”

  She set her mug down with attitude, making it clank against the table. “Wait until I pick on you for something.”

  “Like what?” I asked.

  “You know…” She searched everyone’s expression as she tried to come up with something. Her fingers spun a sweet potato fry as she fidgeted at the table.

  “Like what?” I repeated. “What could you possibly pick on me for?” I was boring and uninteresting. I didn’t have cute quirks or unusual preferences. I slept in every day, hit the gym, and then played video games all day long. I wasn’t smart or a hard worker like she was. Maybe she was a nerd, but that was definitely a compliment. She was a strong and successful woman who conquered a male dominated field. She wasn’t just interesting, but inspiring.

  “Uh…I’ll think of something.” She placed the fry in her mouth. “Just give me some time.”

  “Whatever you say, sweetheart.” My arm draped over the back of the chair, and I leaned in to press a kiss on her cheek.

  She stilled at the affection, probably because she never felt my lips on her cheek like that.

  “Aww,” Madeline whispered under her breath.

  Austen tried to pretend she didn’t hear what her friend said by looking down at her fries. She put a few into her mouth, ignoring the heavy silence that began to grow. Jared tried to break the ice by changing the subject. “Anyone wanna order some hot wings?”

  “My place or yours?” I asked as we walked together up the street.

  “I should probably head home. I’ve got to wake up early in the morning.”

  “Then your place, it is.” We were already going in that direction, so we didn’t need to change our route.

  “Well…I thought we weren’t sleeping together?” Her small hand felt perfect in mine, warm and soft.

  “But we can go to sleep together, right?” There was no harm in that, even if we were naked together under the sheets. We could control ourselves, right? “Unless you need some space.” I’d been hogging her for nearly three days in a row. I’m sure Nathan wasn’t too pleased about that. But the more time she spent me with me, the less time she spent with him.

  “No, not at all,” she said quickly, her hand squeezing mine. “I just…when you’re naked, I have a hard time behaving myself.”

  Then maybe she shouldn’t behave herself. “I’ll be a gentleman, I promise. I miss sleeping with you. It’s like taking Nyquil. It knocks me out.”

  “So I’m a narcotic?” she asked with a laugh.

  “But in a good way.”

  “How can that be in a good way?”

  “As in, you give me the best sleep I’ve ever gotten.” We walked together and entered her building. She was on the second story so she was close to the sidewalk and the foot traffic. Sometimes I heard sirens go off in the middle of the night and honking from annoyed drivers, but I’d still rather sleep with her than alone. If I went to my penthouse across town, it would be quiet and sleek. But it would be lonely too.

  We got undressed then slipped inside her bed. She wore one of her old college t-shirts and just her panties, looking like a wet dream. I kept my boxers on even though the thin fabric would do nothing to protect her from my raging hard on. Like a switch, he turned on the second she walked into the room.

  She had a queen size bed, smaller than the king I had at home. It was old and hard, but that didn’t stop me from getting comfortable. Her alarm would go off at the crack of dawn and wake me up, and she would hit the snooze button five times before she finally got out of bed. But that was still preferable than being without her.

  I pulled her against me, her leg hooked over my waist and my hard dick pressed into her stomach. While I was throbbing, I didn’t put the moves on her. I wanted to be more than just a great lay to her. I wanted to be the man she wanted to go to sleep with, not just screw. We had a special connection, a chemistry that ignited even when we didn’t touch, but we also had a profound friendship. I could feel it in the trust we had for one another. She could tell me anything, and I could confess my darkest secrets to her.

  That kind of beauty was rare.

  The lights from the street filtered through her blinds and brought an unwanted glow into the apartment, but it allowed me to stare at her when all the lights were off. I could see the beautiful curve of her lips, the narrow point of her nose, and even her thick eyelashes. Nothing could keep my interest indefinitely, not even video games, but this woman stole my fascination the first time I looked at her. It’d been months, and I still didn’t want to look away, to miss just a second of her beautiful face. I wouldn’t change anything about her, loving all her quirkiness and uniqueness. She was definitely one of a kind.

  Her hand moved up my bare chest, and she stared at her fingertips resting against my skin. Her eyelashes moved every time she blinked. The movement was slow since her eyes were lidded and heavy. It was obvious she was tired, fighting to keep her eyes open. “Ryker?”

  “Yes, sweetheart?” I wanted time to stand still, to make this moment last forever. It was just her and me against the world. There was no Nathan. There was no Rae. It was just the two of us.

  “Did that fortune cookie really say that?”

  Since I didn’t expect her to ask that question, not in a million years, I wasn’t prepared to hear it. “Say what?”

  “About that person walking into your life?”

  I knew exactly what she was referring to, but I kept the same stoic expression. My fingers moved up and into her hair, feeling the soft strands I loved to tangle around my fingertips. My cock slowly softened as my thoughts diminished my arousal. She asked a question I wanted to dodge, but I didn’t know how to accomplish that.

  Since she was tire
d, I tried to lull her to sleep with my touch. I continued to touch her, to drag my hands down the back of her neck and across her shoulders. When she blinked, her eyes remained closed longer every single time.

  I listened to her breath as it grew quiet and steady. She was slowly drifting away, falling asleep without waiting for my answer.

  Finally, her eyes closed and didn’t open again. But her lips moved. “You aren’t going to answer me, are you?”

  My fingers stilled in the center of her back, feeling the warm and smooth skin against my fingertips. Her chest rose and fell at a steady rate. I could feel her back expand with every breath she took. She suddenly felt fragile to me, vulnerable and easily breakable. I wanted to devote my life to her protection, to guard her heart so it would never be broken again. I didn’t want Nathan to win because he didn’t deserve her. He already hurt her once, and he shouldn’t get a second chance.

  And I shouldn’t get a second chance with Rae either.

  But I would be different with Austen. I would always be faithful and honest, and I certainly wouldn’t repeat the same mistake I made in the past. Hearing those three little words from Rae sent me on a rampage that took months to recover from. By the time it was over, it was too late.

  Hopefully, it wasn’t too late for Austen. “You already know the answer.”

  9

  Austen

  After spending the last few days with Ryker, my heart was smitten all over again. He always made me smile, and he was so handsome, it should be illegal. He was a human teddy bear who kept me warm all night and even the innocent way he touched me sent chills down my spine.

  Nathan slowly faded from my mind.

  I started to weigh the two men against each other, and after spending time with Ryker, Nathan’s past transgressions seemed to work harder against him than they did before. I tried to remember the last time he made me laugh, and I couldn’t recall the most recent instance. Ryker’s rugged jawline entered my mind throughout the day, and I pictured how those soft lips felt against my own.

  Could I really walk away from him?

  He was my best friend.

  I was walking on my treadmill desk when Vanessa poked her head in my office. “Hot guy #1 is here.”