by King, Karen
Alicia’s face flashed across her mind: she was Emma’s age, with the same blonde hair and blue eyes. More daring than Emma, always getting into scrapes, pushing the boundaries, trying to compete with her older brother, Simon. She’d watched Alicia grow from a baby, loved her like a sister, and had often babysat her and Simon, so she had been happy to look after them that Easter Sunday when Sarah had called distraught because her father had had a heart attack and she and her husband, Anthony, needed to go to him. Easter dinner had been over; she’d nothing else planned for the day.
How she wished she had had plans, that she’d said she was too busy. Then Alicia would still be alive. She closed her eyes tight. You didn’t mean it to happen.
‘Here we are, darling.’
She opened her eyes again to see Gareth put a mug of tea down on the bedside cabinet. ‘Take your time. Emma is sitting watching a film.’
They were having a traditional English dinner: beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes and vegetables followed by a home-made simnel cake. She wished it was just the three of them but had felt compelled to invite Lily and Seb too. Lily had looked after Emma for years, ever since Ruth had taken ill, and was so close to her dad and sister. Maria didn’t want to come between them. Or for Lily – with her watchful eyes and suspicious mind – to come between her and Gareth.
‘Are you sure you want to do the Easter egg hunt this morning? Lily and Seb usually join in with it and they’re not coming over until lunchtime.’
Maria nodded. ‘Oh yes, Emma is so excited. It’s a shame to make her wait. It’s our first Easter as a family and I want to make today as much fun as we can for her. I’m sure Lily won’t mind – she and Seb will be happy having a lie-in and a lazy morning together. They were both working yesterday.’
‘That’s really thoughtful of you.’ He leant over and kissed her on the head. ‘Well, give yourself half an hour at least. I don’t want you to tire yourself out. I’ll hide the Easter eggs while Emma is watching the film.’
Maria swiped down the pang of jealously and resentment she felt; it was only natural that Gareth would want to hide the eggs himself. He didn’t mean to leave her out; he was being kind and letting her rest. She sat up as Gareth left the room, reached for her mug and sipped the tea. You can do this, she told herself. It’s only a few hours. She’d played the part for years: quiet, complacent, do anything for anyone Maria. It was second nature to her now, her new persona along with her new name, new life. A life she thought she would never have. Sometimes she had to pinch herself that it was true, that she really was married to a wonderful man like Gareth, had a gorgeous little stepdaughter. Yet she also lived in fear that it could all be taken away from her. That her past could come back and haunt her.
‘I won’t let it,’ she told herself. She would fight for her family and do everything she could to make sure the past stayed buried.
She finished her cup of tea and went for a shower.
Emma rushed to greet her when she came down, giving her a big hug. ‘Can we have the Easter egg hunt now?’ she asked.
‘Of course.’
Gareth grinned and held his hand out to Maria as Emma opened the back door and dashed out into the garden. ‘I think this will take her some time. I’m good at finding obscure hiding places.’
‘Found one!’ Emma shouted.
‘It might not take as long as you thought,’ Maria teased him, as the little girl excitedly searched the garden.
It actually took Emma half an hour to find the Easter eggs, and Gareth had to give her clues to find the last one, which he’d hidden behind the base of the fountain. Then they all made Easter bonnets while the dinner was cooking.
By the time Lily and Seb arrived, with a huge Easter egg and an Easter bunny for Emma, Gareth, Maria and Emma were all wearing their Easter bonnets and the dinner was almost cooked.
‘Ooh, thank you!’ Emma squealed as they handed the Easter gifts to her.
‘You’re welcome, darling.’ Lily wrapped her in a big hug. ‘I love your bonnets.’
‘They’re brilliant!’ Seb agreed.
‘We made hats for you two as well.’ Emma pointed to a bonnet decorated with paper flowers and a headband with a yellow chick on the front that were displayed on the coffee table. ‘Yours is the one with the chick on.’
‘It’s beautiful!’ Lily put it on her head. ‘Shall we all wear our bonnets for the Easter egg hunt?’
‘We’ve already done the hunt. I have twelve eggs! I found them all even though the Easter bunny hid them in really hard places. Well, Daddy helped me with the last one,’ she admitted.
Maria saw the disappointed look on Lily’s face. ‘Oh, really? We always do it just before dinner. I thought you’d message us to let us know so that we could join in too.’
‘Sorry, love, but Emma was so excited, we didn’t like to make her wait, and we thought you’d both like to have a lie-in and spend the morning together before you came over,’ Gareth said.
‘We took some photos though, didn’t we, Gareth?’ Maria added quickly.
‘Yes. Here they are. I took a video too.’ Gareth opened the photos app on his phone and handed it to Lily.
‘Thanks. It’s not the same as being here though.’ Lily shot Maria a reproachful look. She obviously blamed her for the early Easter egg hunt.
‘Let me get you both a glass of Buck’s Fizz,’ Maria said, turning and walking into the kitchen. She tried hard not to let it upset her how possessive of Gareth and Emma Lily was. It was unhealthy. Lily had her own relationship to think of. The quicker she accepted that she wasn’t needed here any longer, the better.
18
Maria
May – One month before Emma disappeared
‘Drat.’ She’d smudged some of her lip gloss. Maria took a tissue, dipped the corner of it in make-up remover and gently wiped off the smudge of red. Then she rubbed her lips together and blotted them. She studied her reflection in the trifold mirror: her upswept hair revealed her high cheekbones and the concealer under her eyes covered the dark shadows that were always there. She never slept well, although since she had been married to Gareth she had learnt to lie still, concentrating on her breathing until she finally managed to drop off again rather than slipping quietly out of bed and getting herself a calming drink. Gareth was a light sleeper and had woken a couple of times when she’d got out of bed, expressing concern about her insomnia. So now she pretended she was asleep. She was good at pretending.
They were attending a black-tie dinner tonight, their first one as a married couple, and Maria really didn’t want to go. She was nervous about meeting Gareth’s acquaintances and friends, wondering how they would compare her to Ruth. Vivacious, full-of-life Ruth, smiling and upbeat right up to the end. She had loved Ruth, envied her with her handsome husband, gorgeous little daughter and beautiful home, never dreaming that one day it would all be hers. She could sense that Lily still wasn’t happy about the marriage although she was outwardly pleasant, and Maria wondered if Gareth’s friends had thought it was too much of a rush too, that she had ensnared him, taken advantage of him. There had been other dinner invites in the months since their marriage but she had managed to persuade Gareth to turn them down, telling him she wanted to spend her evenings with him and Emma. He’d been happy to do that too, but an important client had organised this evening and she couldn’t let Gareth down. He was a good, kind man, the best thing that had ever happened to her.
She felt uneasy about it though, the familiar nerves overcoming her whenever she had to meet a crowd of strangers, fearing that one of those strangers might recognise her, might know what she had done.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, tapping her left wrist with two fingers of her right hand to try to calm herself down – a trick Sue had taught her. God, how she missed Sue. The woman had literally saved her life, and her mind.
‘Are you okay, love?’
Maria opened her eyes at the sound of Gareth’s voice behind her
.
‘Are you worried about this evening?’ She could hear the concern in his voice; he really was such a kind man.
‘A bit… It’s the first formal event we’ve been to as a couple.’ She got up, turned around and wound her arms around his neck. ‘Tonight is important to you and I don’t want to let you down.’
‘You could never let me down. You’re beautiful, gentle, kind. Perfect.’ She could see the desire in his eyes but mindful of her carefully applied make-up, he kissed the top of her head. ‘I love you.’
‘And I love you too.’ She reached for her clutch bag. ‘I’m ready.’
Gareth held out his hand. ‘Then shall we go, Mrs Metcalfe? The taxi has arrived.’
She took his hand and linked her fingers through his. ‘Certainly, Mr Metcalfe.’
They exchanged a smile then walked out of the bedroom together and down the stairs.
As they approached the waiting taxi, Maria repeated the words ‘Mrs Metcalfe’ in her head. She loved the sound of it, the knowledge that she was a wife.
I deserve this, she told herself as the taxi driver opened the car door for her.
But she knew that she didn’t. She didn’t deserve any of it. And she lived in fear that one day someone would find out what she had done and she would lose it all.
* * *
To her relief, it was a pleasant evening. Even though Maria had felt on edge she managed to paste a smile on her face and engage in polite conversation with many of the guests. One woman, Grace Henderson, was particularly interested in the beauty treatments Maria offered, and her free service for cancer patients. They had a very interesting talk, and Maria was beginning to think that Grace was a potential client until she said, ‘Do you mind if I interview you formally? I could pop by next week? I work for a local newspaper and we do a Health and Beauty spread every Thursday. I think my readers would be really interested to hear about your work. It would make a great feature. I could take a couple of shots of the salon too. It would be good free publicity for you.’
‘That would be wonderful, wouldn’t it, Maria?’ Gareth wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled at her proudly.
Maria’s first instinct was to refuse but she hesitated. She always tried to avoid being personally involved in publicity, scared that someone might recognise her even though she had dyed her hair and looked so different now. Grace was right though: it would be good for the salon. And it was the salon they were interested in, not her. She wouldn’t have to have her photo taken or give a personal interview, just talk about her work, and if that raised awareness of her free treatments for cancer sufferers and encouraged other salons to do the same, that would be a good thing. She’d done an interview for a local paper once before and everything had been fine.
I wasn’t married to Gareth then.
The words flashed across her mind, reminding her just how much more she had to lose now. She ignored them, and the knot of panic in her stomach. She had to stop living in fear. So many years had passed now, it was time to stop looking over her shoulder. She nodded brightly. ‘Pop in any day next week. I’m out Friday afternoon visiting clients who can’t get to the salon but any other day is fine.’
‘Could we make it this Monday? I’d like to get the feature in this Thursday’s Female Special and we’ll need a couple of days to edit.’
So soon? Well, at least it didn’t give her much time to worry about it. ‘Monday is fine,’ Maria agreed.
Grace smiled. ‘See you Monday then – about eleven-ish? I look forward to it, it’s been a delight to talk to you.’
Maria felt a little nervous as Grace walked off but she tried to calm herself down. It was just a spread in the local paper.
‘I’m so proud of you, you know.’ Gareth was beaming down at her. ‘The work you do is so important. I remember how Ruth looked forward to your visits, and how much happier she was afterward. It’s about time that your work got more recognition.’ He kissed her. ‘You’re a saint. Saint Maria.’
If only he knew that she was the exact opposite.
19
Maria
‘You’re up bright and early,’ Gareth said as Maria came into the room with a cup of tea on Monday morning already made up and dressed in her uniform.
‘I need to get to the salon early, prepare the girls for the interview. Are you still okay to take Emma to school?’
‘Of course. My first meeting isn’t until ten.’ He edged himself up. ‘Don’t look so worried. The salon always looks perfect, as do you. This will be a fantastic interview that will bring you in a lot of business.’
‘I don’t like being interviewed though. I always try to avoid it. I know it seems silly, but I just feel uncomfortable talking about myself. I think I’ll ask Olivia to take my place – she is super-confident and will give a really good impression of the salon.’
‘But it’s your business, and you’re the one who treats the cancer patients. You’re the story, Maria. They want to know about the woman behind the salon.’
Which was exactly what she was afraid of. She valued her privacy and had always tried to avoid interviews, but Grace had made her feel that she couldn’t say no. Well, she certainly would say no today if Grace asked any intrusive questions. This was going to be solely about the work the salon did, nothing else.
‘It’s my work that’s important, not me.’ She smiled at Gareth. ‘I must dash now, darling. See you tonight.’
When she bent over to kiss him, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. ‘Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?’
He had. Lots of times. ‘Now and again,’ she mumbled, the warmth of his embrace calming her a little.
He kissed her gently. ‘Relax. It will all be fine. Just be yourself and they will love you.’
‘I know,’ she agreed but the thoughts were whirring around her mind that if they knew who she really was, if Gareth knew who she really was, they wouldn’t love her, they would hate her. And they had every reason to.
She eased herself out of his embrace, stood up and smoothed down her dress. ‘I know I’m being silly. It’s just nerves.’ She smiled brightly. ‘I’m off now. Emma is still fast asleep and I didn’t like to disturb her. Tell her that I’ll see her tonight.’
‘I will.’
As she walked towards the door, Gareth called, ‘Maria!’
She turned around, raising an eyebrow questioningly.
‘It’ll be an MBE next.’
She laughed. ‘Dream on.’
Gareth’s love made her feel stronger and she went downstairs, her nerves quelled a little. You can do this. It’s only a short interview. Half an hour maximum, she told herself. Just talk about the work we do at Daisy’s and try to avoid the camera.
Put like that it sounded simple.
Since she and Gareth had been married she didn’t usually arrive at the salon until ten, after she’d taken Emma to school. The girls opened up and got everything ready, dealing with the first clients of the day. So getting in at six thirty was a bit of a shock to the system. The street was quiet although she could see the lights on in a couple of other shops. She’d stopped to grab some fresh flowers and tasty biscuits from the nearby supermarket then opened the door, keeping the sign turned to ‘Closed’. The cleaner always came in on Sundays and gave the salon a good blitz so they could start the week fresh. Even so, she wanted to make sure everything was sparkling and fresh for when Grace and the photographer arrived. She went into the back, buttoned an overall over her dress, pulled out some rubber gloves, antibacterial cleaner, glass cleaner, duster and polish and got cracking.
‘Goodness, you’re an early bird!’ Olivia said as she walked in just over an hour later. ‘This place is positively gleaming. I don’t think you’ve left me anything to do.’
Maria had messaged all the staff yesterday to tell them what was going on this morning, and had asked Olivia to come in early to help her tidy up a bit. It was obvious that Olivia had taken extra care with her appeara
nce: she always looked nicely turned out, but today her hair was positively shining and her make-up flawless.
‘We need fresh towels out, a few candles lit, and we need to check the display cabinet, make sure it’s stocked up with our best products,’ Maria told her. ‘I’ve brought a couple of extra overalls with me – they’re in the back, and some rubber gloves.’
‘Okay if I do a coffee first?’ Olivia asked. ‘Want one?’
‘A chamomile tea, please,’ Maria said.
By the time the other women arrived, the salon was sparkling, smelled beautiful and calming music was playing in the background. Maria noted that, like Olivia, Sophie, Candice and Amanda had all taken special care with their appearances. This was a big thing for them all, she realised. She didn’t have to worry about being interviewed; she was sure all the girls would be happy to talk about the salon and the work they did.
There was a buzz about the girls which the customers picked up on when they arrived, so when Maria explained about the interview, the customers hung about, wanting to be in the feature too. By the time Grace finally arrived at quarter past eleven, the salon was full.
‘Goodness, you’re busy! And what a charming establishment you have here,’ she said, looking around admiringly. ‘Jez, the photographer, is running late but he’ll be here soon. I’ll take a look around and ask you all a few questions while we’re waiting.’
Grace wandered around, reading the framed quotes on the wall, looking at the various toiletries, talking to the customers, who were all delighted to be interviewed.
Finally Jez arrived, dashing through the door out of breath. ‘Sorry, my toddler hid my car keys. I gave up searching for them in the end and had to come on the train.’
Grace raised an eyebrow. ‘Really? Well, I’ve got all the info I want, we just need a shot of the salon and the staff – and would any of you clients be willing to have a photo taken of the girls giving you a treatment?’