Redeemed

by Becca Jameson

  “Yes.” Fundamentally, Ashley knew she was safe here. But anxiety had a way of overruling one’s common sense. Dr. Parman had been more than willing to prescribe something for the anxiety, but after taking such strange mind-altering drugs for four years, Ashley couldn’t bear to put something foreign into her system, even if her sanity was at stake.

  No one quite knew what Damon had given her. It seemed to have completely left her body given time and there didn’t appear to have been any long-term repercussions, but the substance remained a mystery. A vial of her blood was being studied at a lab run by shifters in Boston, but so far any inquiry about the drug had turned up nothing. No other pack around the United States had heard of anything like it.

  Ashley smiled at Samantha. She appreciated the woman more than words could express, but she couldn’t speak over the lump in her throat.

  “Come on. Let me introduce you to everyone. They’re all milling around in the kitchen, hoping to grab a bite before it’s even fully cooked.” Samantha took Ashley’s hand and tugged, luring her into the noisy gathering of shifters.

  At the door, Samantha cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. “Everyone, this is Ashley, Josh’s sister.”

  The bright kitchen was filled with laughter and light. The appliances shown with their steel surfaces and the granite counter reflected the lighting to make the room inviting and warm.

  Samantha pointed toward the first person on the right as she began her introductions. “Ashley, that’s my brother Gabriel and his mate, Kathleen. Next to Kathleen is her sister, McKenzie, and her mate, Drake. The four of them are here on vacation for the week. They’ve never been to St. Louis and we haven’t all been together since everyone mated. So, it’s wild and crazy. Don’t let their volume scare you.” Samantha smiled warmly again and squeezed Ashley’s arm.

  “Nice to meet you all.” Ashley looked around the room at the perfectly normal shifters. She envied them their carefree lives, but she needed to get past the sensation that she’d missed out on four years and make the most of the rest of her life.

  The men bustled from the room when Josh bellowed something from the living room about football. Samantha excused herself for a moment, and Ashley was left with the two new women, Kathleen and McKenzie.

  “Please, call me Kenzie.” The woman on the left lifted her hand to greet Ashley.

  Ashley smiled as she shook her hand and then Kathleen’s. “Where do you live? Did you travel far?”

  Kathleen spoke next. “Gabriel and I live in Houston. He’s a doctor there.” She thumbed toward Kenzie. “Kenzie and Drake live on a ranch in northwest Texas. We haven’t seen each other since we both mated at The Gathering seven months ago.”

  “That’s nice—that you all could convene for a vacation together.” Even hearing the words “The Gathering” made her flinch. Four and a half years ago at that very festivity she’d been kidnapped by Damon. Although she had repressed many days between then and now, some purposefully, some from a drug-induced haze, she remembered that day like it was yesterday. The details were never far from her mind.

  “Are you okay?” Kathleen set a hand on Ashley’s bicep, drawing her back to the present.

  “Yes.” She shook her memories away.

  Kenzie lifted a bottle of wine. “Can I pour you a drink?”

  Ashley shook her head. “No, thanks.” She never touched alcohol. Anything that altered her mind or dampened her senses in any way made her run the other direction.

  “There’s soda and bottled water in the fridge if you want anything.” Kathleen nodded toward the refrigerator.

  The doorbell rang, making Ashley jump inside her skin. She closed her eyes for a moment to give herself a pep talk.

  It’s another guest. Get ahold of yourself. Josh had said there would be nine people total so that left one more to arrive after Ashley.

  She turned toward the living room, following Kenzie and Kathleen.

  She didn’t remember Evan, but she knew him to be the last person who would arrive. He was the private investigator who located her months ago, apparently after searching in many states over a long period of time. She owed him a thank you for all he’d done. At the time, she’d been so concerned about pissing off Damon, she’d paid no attention to the man who’d remained outside the apartment while Samantha, Josh, and Nathan helped her gather her meager belongings and scurry from the apartment before Damon could return.

  A deep jovial voice came from the entry as Ashley rounded the corner. It calmed her for some reason she couldn’t explain. Perhaps the idea a PI was attending the party would help her nerves. Surely he would be useful in an emergency.

  The front door shut with a loud snick and Kathleen and Kenzie parted, giving Ashley her first glimpse at her savior.

  The instant she laid eyes on him, she froze. Built like a linebacker with brown wavy hair, he filled the room. But that wasn’t what sucked the air from her lungs. As he turned toward her, her suspicions were confirmed. Deep brown eyes penetrated her from across the room. They wrinkled at the corners as he smiled in her direction.

  All the shit she’d been through for the last several years, all the lies she’d been fed from Damon about being his mate, all the stories she’d heard from friends and family about what it felt like to meet one’s mate—it all made sense in a heartbeat.

  Evan Harmon was her mate.

  Chapter Five

  Evan stood very still as he let his mate soak in the information he knew was bombarding her. He hated that he’d arrived already one up on her. It wasn’t fair. But it also wasn’t avoidable. He’d made the decision to let the cat out of the bag, and there was no going back.

  She was gorgeous. Her blonde hair hung in rivulets below her shoulders. It shown in the light and bounced when she stepped. He breathed a sigh of relief that it was fuller and healthier than the lank locks he’d seen on her the only other time he’d stared in her direction.

  She’d been too skinny and sickly that day. Tonight she was better nourished from months of eating well and living without the drugs. Her green eyes blinked at him, pools of water he could see through—no longer dark and sunken.

  Her cheeks pinkened as he watched, the glow making him smile.

  “Evan?” Josh took his arm.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry.” The secret was out. There was no way anyone in the room wouldn’t catch the subtle nuances that declared two people to be mates.

  “For what?” Josh stepped to the side into Evan’s line of sight. Thankfully, he didn’t block Ashley, whose eyes still gazed into Evan’s. She hadn’t flinched.

  Silence. Everyone hushed.

  “Oh.” Josh gasped. “You knew.”

  “I did.” He paid no attention to anyone else in the room. They were almost all strangers to him, and he didn’t care. The only person who mattered, who would ever matter again in this lifetime, was Ashley. He cared only for her feelings and reactions.

  “Why didn’t you say anything? Oh God, it’s been months.”

  “One hundred eighty-nine days,” Evan muttered. “It wasn’t a good time.” He smiled and glanced at Josh. That was an understatement.

  “Ashley?” Josh took about three steps to get to his sister’s side. “Are you okay?”

  She didn’t move. She wouldn’t be completely okay for a very long time, but Evan intended to ensure she eventually was whole and healthy and happy.

  “Ash?” Josh continued, “Did you know too?”

  She shook her head.

  Samantha approached and tugged on Josh’s arm. “Let’s give them some time.”

  “But—” Josh was flustered. His mouth hung open.

  “Josh,” his mate soothed, “we must. Let’s go in the kitchen and let them talk.” She turned toward the others and motioned them all out of the room.

  It was eerily quiet for several moments and Evan pictured all seven people holding their breath in shock in the kitchen.

  “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “There was no eas
y way to handle this.” He stepped toward Ashley, but not close enough to make her uncomfortable.

  He’d worried about this meeting for so long he’d lost sleep most nights. His greatest fear was how he would handle her in such a delicate state. But now that he stood before her, all his doubt fluttered away. She was his mate. That was all that mattered. He’d do anything for her, including take things at whatever pace she needed. It wouldn’t be the difficult task he’d envisioned. Nothing having to do with Ashley would ever be a challenge.

  “Why? How?” she gasped.

  “It wasn’t easy.” He smiled at her. “You needed time to heal.”

  “I’m not healed. I don’t know if I ever will be.” She shook her head as though she could deny their attraction with those words and actions.

  “It’s okay, Ashley. I understand. We’ll work through it together. I’ll be by your side the entire way.”

  He watched as her chest rose and fell under the weight of new problems she hadn’t foreseen. Her breasts were high and full with the weight gain that made her look physically mended.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said.

  She blushed and ducked her gaze for the first time.

  “Sit with me?” He motioned to the couch.

  She shuffled that direction and took a seat on one far end, hugging the arm rest.

  Evan kept his face straight, but grinned inwardly at her attempt to keep a distance. He wouldn’t pressure her to do anything. In fact, he’d make no move until she was ready every step of the way.

  “How are you feeling? Josh speaks of you pretty often, but tell me in your words.” He sat in the center of the sofa, not close enough to force contact, but near enough to breathe her in.

  “Okay, I guess. It’s hard. Every day is a challenge. I’m nowhere near ready for—”

  “Ashley, don’t stress. I’m not going to push you. It may have been selfish of me to come here tonight, but I couldn’t stand knowing this secret and carrying it alone for another day. I don’t want you to read too much into my presence here tonight. I swear to you I will take things at whatever pace you need.”

  She lifted her gaze, peered into his eyes. “And what if that pace is to stop right here and never let it go any further?”

  He’d anticipated such an answer. Hell, every possibility had gone through his mind over the months. She did have the right to reject him outright. It would be hard, but if it was what she wanted, he would grant her that concession. “If that’s what you decide, then that’s how it shall be. But I’d like you to at least give me a chance. Spend some time with me. Let me take some of the burden you’ve been carrying and get to know me.”

  “Sounds risky. You cloud my mind.”

  He grinned. “That’s a good sign. At least we’re even on that front.” He leaned forward, careful to avoid touching her, and placed his elbows on his knees. “Get to know me. That’s all I ask. It would hurt too much if we didn’t at least try. I’d hate to live without knowing how it could have been.”

  “That’s fair.” Her hands shook as she set them on her lap and rubbed her palms on her skirt.

  Evan glanced down at her legs. Dainty was the best way to describe her. She couldn’t be more than about five four. At six feet he towered over her, even sitting. Any woman would be intimidated by him. “Would you like me to leave so you can enjoy your evening?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Stay.” Her words were emphatic. That was a good sign. Things were looking up already.

  •●•

  Ashley’s head spun as though she’d fallen and the concussion was making her dizzy. So many thoughts went past her consciousness she couldn’t keep up with them.

  This man was her mate. There was no doubt. The chemical attraction was so transparent she couldn’t understand how she’d believed for a moment Damon had been her mate. He’d insisted. She’d always suspected there was a lot more to the bond between mates than Damon presented, but now the proof was obvious.

  She’d never felt one ounce of attraction for Damon. This new man, Evan, called to her on an undeniable level. Her entire body lit up when he entered the house. A deep yearning for something she never expected to have melted her insides and left her wobbly.

  But she was ruined. Broken. Unfixable. No one should have to walk this path with her.

  She’d agreed to give him a chance simply because she’d been too weak to turn him down. He’d stared at her with such deep brown eyes. She’d been a sucker for his finely chiseled jaw, the dark brown hair that fell across his forehead in a way that made her want to run her fingers through it.

  Ashley closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to get a grip. The impossible was right before her. A true mate.

  She would have to let him down easy. No way in the world would she drag someone else into her hell on earth and force him to walk the path that lay before her.

  She’d become a recluse, too chicken to leave the house. The fact that she’d come here tonight was a miracle in and of itself. When she’d have the courage to venture out again, she didn’t know. She wouldn’t be able to stop shaking until she was safely back in her room at her parents’ house where the place was locked up like a fortress and surveillance cameras gave her a false sense of security.

  She knew her fears were absurd, but they were hers and they were real and she owned them.

  She stared at Evan’s profile as they sat down to dinner. God, what she would give to have a man hold her during the night. Would she be able to sleep soundly for more than two hours if someone else held the reins and kept her safe from the boogeyman?

  Everyone around her chatted as she remained silent. The meal was fantastic. She wished her throat would open up and allow her to eat more than the few bites she swallowed.

  There was an elephant in the room and no one acknowledged it, bless them. She couldn’t fathom the idea of discussing her new status with the group.

  When the meal was over, the men headed for the living room and left the women sitting around the table.

  Kenzie scooted over several chairs to sit across from Ashley. “I’m so sorry. I know my timing stinks tonight, but I need to talk to you about something.” The woman fidgeted. She tapped her fingers on the table and paused before she continued. “Samantha told me a little about what happened to you. She said you were taken from The Gathering four years ago. Is that right?”

  “Yes.” Ashley was used to questions. She’d answered dozens but not often by someone she’d just met.

  “I’m sorry to be so blunt. I know you must be going through some really tough times, but I think I might know something that could help.”

  Ashley furrowed her brow. How could Kenzie know anything new?

  Kenzie visibly swallowed and leaned forward. Katherine and Samantha sat at the seats flanking her. They didn’t seem shocked when Ashley glanced at the other women. They all knew what Kenzie was about to say.

  “Did that man drag you to a dark room and rape you before he took you from The Gathering?” Her words were barely more than a whisper. It pained her to ask the question. She cringed as she waited for Ashley to respond.

  Ashley opened her mouth, stunned by the question. How could anyone know that? She’d never told a soul about that night. It hurt too much and it wasn’t relevant. So many things had happened over the years to make that event pale in comparison.

  Kenzie’s eyes watered and tears dripped from the corners to run down her face. She made no move to wipe them away.

  Ashley swallowed finally and nodded. “He did.” Her voice was hoarse as though she’d been crying for hours. “How did you know?” Her murmured words would barely be heard. She herself detected no sound coming from her mouth over the storm raging in her ears.

  Kenzie glanced down at her hands and wrung them on the table top before she looked back up. “I was there… In the room.”

  Ashley’s eyes shot wide open. Was that possible? The idea had never occurred to her.

  Kenzie
continued. “I was hiding from the world because I didn’t want a mate. I was sitting by the far window in a tall armchair, curled up against the world. When the door burst open and that bastard dragged you inside, I was stunned. He didn’t notice me and you were on the floor out of sight. I froze.”

  She paused. Ashley didn’t know what to say.

  “I’ve regretted my actions that night all these years and here you are, the very woman who was terrorized and taken against her will. I’m so sorry.” She leaned forward but quickly ducked back and lowered her gaze as though she had no right. “If only—”

  Ashley found her voice. “You couldn’t have known.”

  “I was right there. It scared the hell out of me. I was only nineteen at the time. I was a coward.”

  “You were hardly more than a child. So was I. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t imagine I would have done anything differently if I’d been you.”

  “I never wanted to mate after witnessing that. It was absurd, but I worried there were other claimings that went that way. He was so mean. He—you don’t need me to rehash what he did. Sorry.”

  Ashley tugged a smile from deep inside her. Somehow, even though she was forced to relive a moment she’d hoped never to conjure again, she was comforted by the fact this stranger had been there with her. It gave the act validity. No one, as far as she knew, had ever seen how Damon had treated her at any point. He’d been careful through the years to keep their unique relationship a secret from the world.

  “Anyway, I only brought this up because I wanted you to know that if you ever need me… Like to testify or something, if they catch him, I’ll be there for you. I won’t let you down a second time.”

  Ashley set a hand on top of Kenzie’s shaking grasp. They’d formed a bond of sorts. It was a small step, but for Ashley it was important. She had an ally. This woman knew some small part of what her life had been like. She was not alone.

  Ashley smiled at Kenzie. “But you did find a mate. And you’re pregnant.” She glanced at Kenzie’s lap, not completely sure how she knew that last part. It wasn’t physically obvious yet. She knew wolves had sharp senses, but she’d never actually deduced something like a pregnancy before.