Recovered

by Robby Gallaty

  The first time I shared my testimony was at the Brantley center, a homeless shelter in New Orleans. Both my parents showed up to hear me preach, mainly out of curiosity to experience this new-found faith I was professing. After leaving the service, my dad, with good intentions, pulled me aside and dissuaded me from ever sharing my past again. He thought that since I was now changed by Christ there was no need to revisit past sins. I appreciated his concern for not idealizing my previous life; however, I felt as if God wanted me to share my testimony with others struggling with the same issues. Am I suggesting that you should glamorize or celebrate sins from the past? By no means. However, your story may be the connection point for someone struggling with similar struggles you’ve experienced victory over.

  Remember, God never wastes a hurt in our life. He takes the mess we’ve made and redeems it in the form of a message we can share with others around us. He brings us through testing in life to give us a testimony. Our testimonies are evidence of the power of God in our lives. People may be able to debate Scripture with you or critique theological issues, but they can’t argue with a changed life.

  No One Is Beyond the Reach of God’s Grace

  Regardless of what you’ve done or who you’ve wronged, God can forgive you and redeem you. This motivates us never to stop praying for those who are far from God. His grace is greater than all our sin.

  If we imagine God as a builder, then we, those whom he created in his image, are constantly under construction. God’s always in a building project working on us. Paul emphasized this point in Philippians 1:6 when he said, “I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

  Listen to the hope contained in these words. No matter how good it is now, no matter how terrible, no matter how far away from improvement you may feel, the final chapter of your life is yet to be written. God is still working on you, and the best is yet to come—it will be finished on the day of Christ Jesus. Since God wants to do so much with us, we have to be sure we are allowing him to do his work in us. It is dangerous to settle for mediocrity. I shared my testimony at our Celebrate Recovery ministry gathering one night and someone stopped me in the back afterward to comment on my message. He said, “I’m not who I used to be, I’m not who I want to be, but God’s still working on me.”

  Don’t give up on those whom you have been praying for. Extend the love of Christ the way God has showered you with it. Every one of us is in need of God’s grace and mercy. Jerry Bridges said, “Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.”5

  One Day at a Time

  The best advice I can give you is be patient. You didn’t get to where you are overnight, and God’s not going to fix it immediately. Shortly after becoming a Christian, Brother Tim took our first discipleship group through a little book called The Green Letters by Miles Stanford. The words of his book that caused me to pause were these: “It seems that most believers have difficulty in realizing and facing up to the inexorable fact that God does not hurry in His development of our Christian life.”6 Later in his book, Stanford underscores the importance of patience: “A student asked the president of his school whether he could not take a shorter course than the one prescribed. ‘Oh yes,’ replied the President, ‘but then it depends on what you want to be. When God wants to make an oak, He takes a hundred years, but when He wants to make a squash, He takes six months.’”7

  Squash-like growth entice all of us because it’s instant gratification. The results are immediate. The wait is short; the payoff is quick. However, God is never in a rush to do anything. In fact, the only time we see Him in a hurry is in Luke 15. When the prodigal son comes to his senses, the father (i.e., God) runs to embrace his repentant son.

  Other than in isolated incidents, you will be hard-pressed to identify a time when God is in a rush. It took thirteen years before Joseph in Genesis was elevated to the right hand of the Pharaoh. If he had been released from prison when the cupbearer had promised, it is probable that he would have been sold to another Egyptian or to traveling traders. Without knowing the full story of Joseph’s life, one would question the wisdom of God. But God had to press him, mold him, and shape him for thirteen years before he was courageous and accepted enough to stand before the reigning Pharaoh.

  God’s timing is best. There are certain lessons like patience, perseverance, and endurance that can only be learned through waiting upon the Lord. Life is much like a puzzle: we all have a handful of pieces, but someone took the box with the picture on the cover. We are left wondering how each piece fits with another. After an extended period of time, sometimes years, we pick up more pieces to the puzzle of life. Parts that once were disconnected start to fit into place. It is at this point that the image begins to take shape. As time goes on, we look back and realize that no pieces were wasted. Everything God gives us fits into the picture of our lives.

  God uses every pressure, circumstance, and situation to shape and mold you into the man or woman he desires you to be. His choice weapon is pain. Pain reveals an area that needs to be addressed. It is in the crucible of adversity that character is forged. Think of the example of patience set by some of the founders of Christian faith:

  Noah endured mocking and humiliation for more than ninety years while he constructed the ark.

  Abraham waited for thirty years before God came through on his covenantal promise.

  Joseph endured isolation in a pit and incarceration in a prison before realizing the promise God made to him eleven years before.

  Moses wandered in the wilderness for four decades waiting to enter the land that was promised.

  Jesus waited thirty years before he began his earthly ministry.

  Every day sober is another step toward usefulness in the kingdom of God. You may feel like you’ve missed out on so much because of wasted years, but don’t be discouraged. Surrender daily to the Lord, depend upon his Spirit for strength, and watch him work.

  Notes for Recoverers

  Completing this book makes for a bittersweet moment. I’ve just received word that Brandon, one of the friends I went back into the world to save, has passed away. The total number of friends I have lost since 2000 is fifteen.

  These were not casual, distant acquaintances, but friends with whom I grew up, lived, partied, and had fun.

  Brandon’s death hits close to home. He was my size, my height, and my age. I might easily have been him, and he might have been me.

  None of the friends I’ve lost set out to die prematurely. They were sons and brothers, nephews and husbands. Each had dreams and goals of changing the world as children. But somewhere along the way, drugs and alcohol controlled them.

  No one sets out to waste his or her life. No one sets out to destroy himself or herself. But it happens every day—over and over. Somewhere a person dies from drug abuse every eleven minutes.8 More people overdosed from drugs last year than died in the Vietnam War.

  The issue of addiction is both physiological and spiritual. I’m not a medical doctor, so I won’t delve into the neurological issues of dopamine and serotonin, although I have investigated my own genetic challenges. I can tell you, however, that the spiritual battle of drugs is very real too, and here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way:

  1. Sobriety without Jesus Is a Dead-End Street

  Addiction, at its core, is the sin of idolatry. When you think of idolatry, you may think of images of the golden calf in Exodus or carved statues perched on a shelf in someone’s home. Those are indeed pictures of idolatry, but the meaning goes deeper. “The New Testament,” according to Eerdmans Bible Dictionary, “extends the concept to include any ultimate confidence in something other than God.”9 Basically, anything we worship more than God is an idol.

  The
all-consuming focus of an addict is finding drugs—and not necessarily to get high. After a few months, the euphoric feeling isn’t the same. There is the need simply to feel normal, or what normal has come to feel like. Friends called it “chasing the ghost.”

  Every morning I was consumed with one agonizing thought: How can I score drugs? Like most addicts, I would stop at nothing to get them. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how.

  The only person who can set us free from sin is the One who conquered sin, death, and hell: Jesus. The reason I went to rehab twice was because the first time I attempted to do it without Christ.

  Sobriety without Jesus is a dead-end street.

  Think of addiction as a prison cell that detains you. Unless someone unlocks the cell door and sets you free, you’re enslaved. You may experience seasons of sobriety or stints of abstinence, but long-term victory over an addiction is unattainable in our own power. And the reality is, even if I had managed to get sober without ever putting my faith in Christ, I would’ve been freed from one prison in this life only to enter into another in eternity.

  If you have never acknowledged your sins before God and asked him to set you free, I want to encourage you to do that right now. When is the best time to ask for forgiveness from you sins? Now. There is nothing magical about the prayer you pray. What’s important is the desire of your heart. When you realize you can’t save yourself, and that Jesus is the only one who can, you will experience a new life in Christ. Sometimes it takes us getting so low that the only place to look is up to God.

  But Jesus doesn’t promise an easy life just because you’re a Christian. We are still in a daily battle with the world, our fleshly desires, and the devil. Every day we must die to ourselves, our will, our desires, and our wants, and seek after God.

  Jesus said, “If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). Long-term sobriety is not attained from the strength we have within, but from God. As Tim reminded me years ago in New Mexico, “The Christian life is either easy or impossible. It’s impossible if you do it in your own strength. It becomes easier as you allow Christ to work in you to work through you.”

  For me, every morning is a funeral and a coronation. I die to self and acknowledge Jesus as king of my life.

  2. Bad Company Corrupts Good Character

  The longer you follow the Lord, the more you will cherish the words of the Bible.

  Most Christians have life verses. These are verses that summarize their lives, have helped during a difficult time, or have provided much needed direction. This verse encapsulated all of those for me: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Cor. 15:33 niv).

  In other words, sinful people will corrode our values. And this is especially true for those of us with addictive or compulsive personalities.

  You’ve heard the adage: “You are who you hang with.” If that’s the case, then we can determine our future by taking a photograph of our closest friends. I’ve told young people from time to time, “You can’t soar with the eagles if you keep hanging with a bunch of turkeys.”

  When I experienced sobriety for the final time, I cut myself off completely from my past. If you want to experience victory, you have to ruthlessly eliminate anything that can harm you. Think of it as cancer. If your doctor diagnoses you with cancer tomorrow, would you say, “Let me think about removing it. I’ve had this skin for a long time. It’s really not that bad.” No! You’d remove it immediately. You’d cut it out. Why wouldn’t you do that when it comes to your past life?

  This doesn’t mean that you should never spend time around unbelievers and seek to share the gospel with the lost. Of course you should. But for recovering addicts, you need to let other people be the ones to share the gospel with your old crowd. As my foolishness proved, it’s unwise to think you’re going to go back and share the gospel with your friends when you’re a brand-new recovering addict. You’ll find yourself, like me, drinking margaritas and sharing the gospel before noon.

  The first step you need to take is to get rid of your phone, change your number, and detach from your former friends. From experience in counseling people in recovery, I know this is the hardest step. For me, it was very difficult because I rationalized, “You don’t understand. I lived with these people. I grew up with them. We partied together. We traveled together. We fought together. I can’t just leave them.”

  All of those reasons were true; however, I was in no state to help anyone. I needed help. Distractions were my downfall. I was on a chair trying to pull people up out of the pit to be with me, but as with anyone standing on a chair, it’s easier to pull someone off than pull someone up.

  For three weeks, I had zero friends. I went from being the king of the club scene to king of nothing. I spent my days driving around town listening to Christian music and my nights reading the Bible. As I’ve described, my prayers were answered when Julie from college called me out of the blue to invite me to a Bible study led by T-Bone.

  The rest is history. Trust that the Lord will bring people into your life to encourage, edify, and support you in his timing.

  3. Stop Enabling

  [This section is addressed to the relatives of an addict.]

  If you trace the root of a perpetual drug problem, you can always find an enabler. Normally, it’s the mother, wife, or husband of the addict. In my case, it was my dad. No parent sets out to contribute to the downfall and eventual death of a person. In their minds, they are helping them by paying for bills, providing money for gas, or giving them a place to stay with no strings attached. Love is the driving force behind the help; however, kindness, in this case, is seen as a weakness. And the addict will prey on that weakness to keep getting access to drugs.

  During my addiction, I was a master manipulator, saying or doing anything to get money for drugs. “Robby, I thought you paid your cell phone bill two weeks ago.”

  “Sure, Dad, but this bill is for overcharges. I need it now—I can’t wait.”

  Nothing got in the way of feeding the insatiable desire I had to get high.

  Family members believe they are extending love by helping, but what they are doing is perpetuating the drug addiction. Addicts will never desire help unless they have hit rock bottom. You create a bottom for them by cutting them off, kicking them out, and not paying their bills.

  I know this sounds harsh, but it’s the only tactic for getting the attention of a person consumed with an addiction.

  The reason this works is that addicts will always try to find another avenue to get high. When you cut off all roads, seeking help becomes the only choice.

  When my parents kicked me out, it saved my life. It was the hardest three months of their lives, and they’ll tell you that. But it was the best thing for me. I knew that I couldn’t fix myself. Eventually I turned to Jesus.

  Don’t forget this: If you keep being their savior, Jesus never can be. Give them over to God and trust him.

  4. Rehab Treatment

  I have never seen anyone beat an addiction without going to some form of rehab. I’ve literally counseled hundreds of people over the last sixteen years—I get calls and emails each week—and I’ve yet to meet someone who has experienced long-term sobriety without going away for treatment.

  Ideally a person needs to go away for a year, which is why programs like Teen Challenge work so well. The in-patient program teaches coping skills to those in recovery, while the body rejuvenates itself from drug abuse. Their success rate is higher than most treatment centers.

  Most people, unfortunately, can’t get away for that long a period. Another option is a three-to-six month in-patient treatment facility. I have sent many people to the Home of Grace in Van Cleave, Mississippi. Many of these centers exist. You will want to find a place that is biblically based.

  The gold standard of treatment
is where I went. Thankfully, the amino acid treatment is now approved in the States, so you won’t have to stay ten days in Tijuana, Mexico. Paula Norris Mestayer and her husband Dr. Richard Mestayer run the Springfield Wellness Center in Springfield, Louisiana. Patients stay at the retreat center and receive a NAD drip for ten days.

  As unbelievable as it sounds, the treatment from start to finish is complete in those ten days. Because NAD is found in every cell, the treatment minimized my withdrawals, reduced the body aches, and removed the cravings by the time I left. It feels like being one year into your sobriety when you leave the facility.

  It’s not cheap, but it’s effective. I’ve sent dozens of people to Paula and have seen most of them experience sobriety by going through the treatment over the years. In addition to the treatment, Dr. Mestayer, Paula, and her staff provide counseling and support. If you can afford to go there, I would recommend it.

  (For information on recovery help, check out our website: www.recoveredtreatment.com.)

  5. Long-Term Care

  Regardless of where you go for rehab treatment, the journey is not over when you return. That’s where the hard work begins.

  The temptation is to stop going to meetings, start hanging with old friends, and begin drinking socially—at least that’s what I did the first time I relapsed. You didn’t destroy your life overnight; it won’t be fixed overnight. While the physical withdrawals from using may be diminished, the habits and desires that drove you to drug abuse are still lurking.