Finding Tomorrow, A sexy, angsty, suspense filled, all-the-feels protector romance and HEA.: A Trading Yesterday Novel

by Kahlen Aymes

  “Do you want my jacket?” Jensen asked, and then reached behind me, into the backseat and the floorboard, lifting the coat over the seat and into my arms. I welcomed the warmth and the delicious scent of his cologne that wafted up from the material and settled around me.

  “Mmmm,” I closed my eyes letting the essence of him envelop me. “Thank you.”

  “You look like a cat that just got a warm bowl of cream,” he teased gently. “What are you thinking about?”

  We zoomed past the I-575 interchange, staying on I-75 South, overhead lights flashing past and businesses blurring outside in the darkness.

  A small smile tugged at my lips. Should I tell Jensen how he affected me? It would give him power, and after all I’d been through with Derrick, I’d learned not to give a man any kind of control over me. “I plead the fifth.”

  He huffed out a soft laugh. “Okay, be that way. Though, I think it would be much more fun if you shared.”

  I glanced in the backseat, making sure the kids were covered up with the blanket from Dylan’s bed. They were sharing, and my heart swelled slightly. It would be good for Dylan to have a friend in Atlanta and make the transition easier for him. I snuggled down into Jensen’s coat, sliding my arms into the sleeves backward. “You would.” I liked this gentle, unobtrusive teasing between us.

  “You would, too, if you’d give it a chance.”

  “Who said I wasn’t going to give it a chance?”

  A slow grin spread over his face, and I loved how his dimples deepened. He was so attractive I could barely keep myself from staring.

  “Are you?” He looked at me seriously, then, his hand reached over and took mine in his again.

  I wanted him to touch me. I had since he’d let go of my hand hours before. He looked like he was struggling inside, just like I was. “Sure, it’s just…”

  “I know what it is, but I really want this to happen. I’m not like him, and all I ask is a chance to prove it.”

  “Why me?” I needed to know the answer. “You can have any woman you want.”

  “That’s just it. I don’t want just anyone.” His thumb started to move, brushing back and forth over the top of my hand. “I’m not sure what you want me to say. That you’re beautiful? You are. That I’m extremely attracted to you? I don’t want to scare you. I feel protective, I guess.” He shrugged casually. “I’m kind of fumbling around, here.”

  “Is it because you see me as needy or broken?” I had to ask. Was it my situation that motivated the superhero in him, or the similarity of my plight to that of his ex-wife’s? Maybe he just needed to be that guy who saved everyone.

  Remi’s words echoed in my head. Jensey needs you to be a damsel, right now.

  “Because if that’s what it is, I’d rather not. I’m trying to be independent. For my mental health, I can’t depend on anyone, and that’s not why I’d want any man to want me.” I pulled my hand free, suddenly uncomfortable. Not because I didn’t like his touch, but because I didn’t want his pity.

  He lifted the hand that I’d just released and ran it tiredly through his thick dark hair. “You know, Missy, everyone doesn’t always have an ulterior motive.” His tone was irritated. “Maybe, I just like you. Maybe, I like your kid. Maybe I want to make sure you do well at the network.”

  I sat up in my seat, turning toward the front and putting my feet on the floor. “I’m sorry, but it’s been my experience that men always want something from women.”

  He shook his head, his jaw jutting out. I couldn’t tell if Jensen was disgusted or just royally pissed. “Yeah? That’s nature. Men and women need something from each other. It’s the way of things.”

  I looked down at my hands, my fingers fiddling around with each other in my lap. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just cautious.” I flushed, realizing that after what he’d done for Teagan and Remi, and now, Dylan and me, I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I desperately wanted to, but there was a deep-seated fear inside me.

  There was a time that I’d trusted Derrick; I loved him, and then he turned into a monster the minute I married him. It was wrong to project that on Jensen, but part of me was utterly terrified of the same thing happening again. Jensen would be easy to open up to, easy to trust… easy to love, if only I could get over this damned fear. I’d gone to counseling for a year and felt pretty strong, but then again, I’d never met a man I’d wanted to try having a relationship with, until now. Seeing his distress over the turn our conversation was taking, pained me, and it was a clue that I already cared about him. I inhaled a shuttering breath.

  He took an exit into a suburb filled with high-end businesses and then a few minutes later, turned right into a subdivision of large, looming houses with even larger lots, some with big trees and others were new construction without any at all, but most of them were gated.

  Many of the windows were dark, with only floodlights around the garages for security, but we pulled up to a wrought iron gate, where the house was further back from the street than the others. Jensen pushed the button for the power window, and it whizzed down. He reached out and entered a six-digit security code, and the gates clicked and then opened in front of us. “This is it. We’re here.”

  “Wow,” was all I could say.

  “Chase is away at a game this weekend, so you’ll only meet Teagan, tonight.”

  I reached out and laid a hand on Jensen’s forearm as he pulled up to the house and stopped my Lexus, pulling out the keys and holding them out to me. “Jensen, I’m sorry,” I said again. “I want this to work, too. I’ll try, okay?” I took the keys; my fingers closing around them. “I know you’re nothing like my ex-husband.”

  His deep blue eyes appeared black in the dark interior of the car, and he nodded. He reached out one finger and ran it down the outline of my face, and then he cupped my cheek in his palm. “Okay,” he murmured softly. “Remember what I said; nothing happens unless you want it. Trust that.”

  His touch was electric, and though a similar caress from someone else would be innocent, with Jensen, it felt so, so intimate.

  “I do, but I’m scared,” I admitted.

  “Naw,” he smiled and shook his head gently, running his thumb over my lower lip at the same time. “You are Melissa fucking Ellington. Badass sportscaster. No one messes with you. You had Jeremy shitting himself in Los Angeles. I know who you are, and so do you.”

  The confidence and support he was showing toward me made my heart explode. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and feel his mouth crushing mine. At least, that’s what my heart desired. My brain warned to proceed with caution. I leaned in and very gently kissed his mouth. Jensen was surprised. He stiffened, as he let me take the lead on the kiss. It felt amazing and right. My hand found the hard wall of his chest and slid upward over his shoulder and into his hair at his nape. I wanted and needed his response, so I nudged and pulled at his lower lip with both of mine. Finally, he responded; his lips as gentle as his hand caressing the side of my face. His hand moved down around my forearm as he pulled back and rested his forehead on mine, inhaling deeply. I wanted more; my chin tilted so my lips could reach for his once more.

  He stopped me. “It’s late,” he ground out. “We should get the kids inside, and I have an early flight tomorrow afternoon.”

  My hand stroked through his hair as I closed my eyes, not wanting to end the contact. He bent and placed another soft kiss on my lips. “To be continued,” he promised, pulling back slowly, touching my cheek with gentle fingertips. “I’ll get your suitcases” Jensen reached around to pop the trunk and open his door, his reluctance to end the intimacy echoed my own. I sat there, stunned by my own reaction, trying to get myself together.

  The sound of the trunk closing woke up the kids. “Mom, are we there yet?” Dylan asked sleepily.

  “Yes, sweetheart. We’re here.”

  “Are we gonna live in this place?” Dylan was only half awake and asked in as much wonder as he could manage, looking
out the window; taking in the massive house and yard. “It’s a mansion,” he said, rubbing his eyes with a closed fist.

  “We’re going to stay here until we can find a place of our own.”

  “Cool!”

  By now, I’d gotten out of the car, walked around, and opened the door to release the buckle on Dylan’s car seat. The kids must be so tired of sitting in one position, I thought. Even though we’d stopped every couple of hours, their little bottoms must be numb.

  As I took Dylan out of the car, Jensen went to the door of the large stone house, carrying our two suitcases and Remi’s duffel bag, leaving his own on the driveway by the back of the car. The door opened, and he disappeared inside for fifteen seconds, but was soon back at the car and to lift his sleeping child out of her car seat and into his arms. At the same time, he caught Dylan’s eye and winked. “Hey, buddy. How are you doing? Are you ready to go inside?”

  “I’m good.” Dylan nodded. He was standing beside me holding my hand when Jensen nodded toward the door, and we all started walking toward it.

  “Let’s go. Sorry, I know it’s a bit overwhelming, but they’re great people.”

  I smiled, confident that if Remi and Jensen were anything to go by, I had nothing to worry about.

  We walked up the expensive stone steps, and a beautiful pregnant brunette was holding the door open. “Welcome!” she said, smiling warmly. “Come on in!”

  “I’m just going to put Remi in her bed,” Jensen said softly.

  “Okay. I’ve laid out her pajamas, but if she’s zonked, you can just put her in bed with her clothes on.”

  Jensen nodded, and disappeared up the staircase with a sleeping Remi on his shoulder and carrying her bag and the sneakers she’d removed during the drive. Apparently, he knew his way around this house.

  The woman, who must be Teagan, turned to me, reaching out to me above Dylan’s head. “You must be Missy and Dylan.”

  “Hello,” I said, offering my hand to shake hers.

  “I’m Dylan,” my son piped up. “I’m six.”

  Teagan’s face split into an indulgent smile. “You certainly are! You’re a handsome young man. Are you hungry or thirsty? I have some warm cookies and milk in the kitchen, and then I can show you to your rooms.”

  “What kind?” He wanted to know.

  “Hmmm, let’s see,” Teagan teased. “Chocolate chip, of course! Is there any other kind?”

  “Those are my favorite!” Dylan looked up at me, expectantly. “Can I, Mom?”

  “Just one. It’s time for bed.” I looked at Teagan apologetically. “I’d love to have a chat, but if it’s alright, I’d like to get him settled, first.”

  “Of course, I understand. Come with me, Dylan. The kitchen is right through here.” Teagan pointed behind her past the foyer and held out her hand to my little boy, who took it readily.

  My son would do anything for chocolate chip cookies and milk.

  The open concept and the vaulted ceilings were spectacular, with high windows. The stone fireplace to my left just through the great room left me breathless. “Your home is amazing,” I murmured, following the two of them.

  Teagan lifted Dylan onto one of the six mahogany and wrought iron bar stools that lined the dark cream marble island in the center of the kitchen. The cupboards and hardwood floors were also dark mahogany, and the whole effect was stunning. This house had to cost a fortune. “Chase never does anything halfway, though I would have been happy with something smaller.”

  I could see that about Teagan. Her husband might be a superstar soccer player, but she was very down-to-earth. Judging by the magnificence of the house alone, one might expect her to be one of the Atlanta Housewives, spending a thousand dollars on a salon visit, but she was relaxed, welcoming and unpretentious. Even her style was low key. Her hair was twisted up into a messy topknot, and she was wearing a fleece nightshirt and fuzzy ankle socks.

  “Here you go, honey,” Teagan said, setting a small glass of milk and a plate with one cookie on it, in front of him. He quickly picked up the delicious looking pastry and plowed into it.

  “Dylan, what do you say?”

  “This is amazing!” he said with his mouth full.

  My eyebrows arched. “Thank you,” I instructed.

  Teagan waved away the need for the nicety. “You’ve got to be exhausted, and I’ve got one of those,” she pointed at my son. “I know how it is. Would you like a cookie, too?”

  I shook my head. “Thank you for letting us stay with you. I can’t tell you what it means to me to have my little man with me.”

  “Like I said, I know how it is to be a mom. I couldn’t imagine being away from Remi. Her overnights with Jensen are about all I can stand.”

  I stood behind Dylan’s chair and rubbed his back at the same time Jensen appeared around the corner after coming back downstairs. “She’s all settled. Thanks for letting me take her with me.”

  “Are you kidding? Remi wouldn’t have let me hear the end of it. Besides, it gave me a nice break.”

  He came to stand next to me and ran a loving caress down my arm. “Will you be okay? I should get going. I still have to pack for my flight tomorrow.”

  I nodded, enjoying the feel of his hand as it moved over my skin. If Teagan noticed she didn’t show it, and instead focused on Dylan, asking him about the trip and if Remi had behaved.

  “Yes. This house is amazing. Teagan… is fantastic!” I couldn’t help but wonder if his heart was broken by his divorce.

  He nodded. “She is.” He reached around and grabbed two of the warm cookies from the cookie sheet on the counter and wrapped them in a napkin he’d taken from a stack.

  “Walk me out?” His eyes were serious but suggestive. I couldn’t help the jolt of electricity that shot through me at just the thought.

  “Sure.”

  “See ya, Teags! Is it okay to leave Missy’s car with her trailer hitch where it is? Maybe Chase can move it or unhitch it tomorrow?”

  “Sure. Have a great trip!” Teagan called from the kitchen, as Jensen and I walked away and back out toward the front door.

  Jensen’s hand found mine. “Relax tomorrow. Promise?”

  My fingers entwined with his as easily as if I’d known him for years. I nodded. “I promise.”

  He opened the door and gently tugged me outside, quietly closing the door behind us. He turned me to face him, still holding my hand. “I’m going to kiss you, now,” he warned. “I’ve wanted to do it all day. I have since L.A., to be honest.”

  A warm flush rushed up under the skin of my cheeks, and I knew I was blushing.

  Jensen had the cookies in one hand and my hand in the other. I was sure it was a deliberate attempt to reassure me he wasn’t going to touch me in a way I might find intrusive. My eyes flashed up to his and held; my mouth dropped open in wanton anticipation. His head swooped slowly, hovering. My breath hitched. I was about to get a small taste of him; to see if he was everything that my dreams were made of. Literally.

  “Okay?” he asked, so close I could feel his warm breath on my face, and his lips were almost touching mine.

  My chin tilted up, almost involuntarily, the air between us vibrating.

  “Promises, promises,” I whispered as my eyelids fell over my eyes.

  I could feel his lips curve into a smile as he huffed out a soft laugh. “I always keep my promises.”

  I was hungry for him, anxious to feel his soft lips; wondering how he would kiss me. Would he be gentle or demanding, or a combination of both?

  His lips nudged a response out of mine, the kiss starting slowly, languidly coaxing mine into action. My mouth parted, and his became firmer and more demanding. I could feel the urgency building between us, the tips of our tongues touching tentatively. Jensen groaned as he pulled away, my lips clinging to his, reluctant to end the kiss. I wanted more. Much more.

  “That was incredible, but I need to go.” He cleared his throat; his face filled with regret. Clearly, he was
reluctant to end our closeness.

  I nodded and licked my lips. “Yeah. Of course. Have a safe trip.”

  I was acutely aware of his thumb rubbing over the top of my hand; the only place we were still connected. “I will; if I can call you.”

  “Yes.” I didn’t even need to speak the word. After the kiss we’d just shared, there was no question in my mind.

  “Okay.” He bent and placed another soft kiss on my mouth. It was delicious. “See ya,” he said with a sigh. He walked down the steps, and our hands fell reluctantly away from each other.

  “Bye.” I watched him walk away, pick up his ESPN duffel bag and head over to a Toyota Rav4 parked on the other side of the garage.

  He put the bag in the back seat and then rested both arms on the roof. “Are you gonna watch me drive off? It’s too late for the sunset thing,” he said wryly. The floodlights over the four-car garage illuminated almost the entire driveway, and I could see the adorable grin on his face.

  “I have a good imagination,” I teased, laughing lightly.

  His handsome face took on a wry expression, and his grin turned into a brilliant smile. “Good to know,” he said with a wink.

  MISSY

  My pulse was pounding after the kiss. That first kiss.

  As I watched Jensen get in his car, I ripped myself away and turned back toward the house. I didn’t want to seem over eager or foolish by standing on the stoop and watching him drive off. Once the door was closed, however, I turned and looked out one of the long, beveled glass windows on the left side of the door. My hand flattened on the expensive wood, and my forehead dropped to touch the glass. He was wonderful, but there was a tiny voice in my head telling me to put on the brakes, even though my heart and body wanted to plunge in with both feet.

  I could hear Dylan chatting away with Teagan in the kitchen, telling her about Ben and his friends, and about his quest to get more signed footballs.

  “Would you like a signed soccer ball?” Teagan asked, putting a refilled glass of milk in front of my son. He was sitting on a bar stool happily munching what I knew had to be his second chocolate chip cookie. “I know a pretty famous soccer star,” she said, smiling.