All My Love, Detrick

by Roberta Kagan

  “Shut this fucking bitch up…stick something in her mouth.” Reinhart commanded.

  But neither of the men could silence Leah, her head moved too quickly for them to gag her.

  Leah clenched her fists bracing herself for the pain. Soon this disgusting pig would invade her body. Vomit rose into her throat. She turned her head away, unable to bear the sight of him. But she could not close her eyes. And then, there - across the street - she saw him. The familiar broad shoulders. At first she feared she might be imagining it and thought, That is what happens when one is dying. Then, he was illuminated by the street light, the golden hair falling over his left eye. She gasped, panting, her breath ragged. She must draw his attention. As loud as she could she, let out a final shriek.

  From where he stood Detrick could not determine the goings-on. The sound of a tortured animal reached him. He did not see the girl, only the group of men.

  Crossing the street, he approached to investigate further.

  To his horror and disbelief, his eyes beheld his beloved Leah. Filled with the fury of a hundred men, he ran toward the attackers. On the side of the walkway he saw a large tree branch. It would make a good weapon. Wielding it, he hit the leader firmly across the stomach. The wind knocked out of him, he toppled over like the fat punching dolls they sold at the children’s store. With his pants down around his knees and his limp penis hanging unsatisfied, Reinhart rolled over, still in too much pain to stand up. When the confrontation turned violent, the others of his gang fled, leaving him to fend for himself. For a moment Detrick considered going after them. He would have liked to make them pay. But instead he turned to help Leah.

  Ignoring the chill, Detrick removed his coat and covered her. Then he turned to the culprit who lay on the ground in shock, still trying to catch his breath.

  “Get out of here before I kill you.”

  The man did not hesitate. His eyes grew wide. Stumbling he got up. Then, as quickly as he could, he scampered away, all the while trying to pull his pants back up.

  Detrick turned his full attention on Leah.

  “Are you all right?” Detrick took his hand and gently smoothed the hair away from her face.

  “I think so.” She clutched his coat where it covered her nakedness. “I’m so glad you were here.”

  “So am I. Here, can I help you get up?” Detrick looked at Leah’s coat. It lay smashed in slush where Reinhart had used it. The dirt would never be cleaned from the material; best to leave it where it lay.

  She nodded and he lifted her to her feet. Then he put his arm around her back and under her arms to offer support as helped her home. Leaning her head on his shoulder, she inhaled the scent of peppermint. From this day forward, that fragrance would remind her of Detrick.

  When they arrived at Leah’s home, he escorted her in.

  “Goodnight.” He could not meet her eyes, afraid she might see how filled with emotion he was.

  “Please give me a moment. I would like you to at least have a cup of tea or hot chocolate to warm up. I didn’t realize it, but I guess I used your coat all the way home. You must be freezing.” Leah handed Detrick his coat.

  “No, not really; I’m all right, but I would love a cup of tea.”

  “Sit, please. It’s the least I can do.” She smiled at him. “I’ll be right back.”

  He nodded as he sat on the couch.

  When she returned, she had washed her face and changed into a simple day dress. Even with the bruising that had begun on her cheek, he still found himself in awe of her beauty.

  Detrick stood as she walked in, placing the cup of tea on the coffee table. He towered over Leah by a foot. Gently he reached down and touched her cheek with his thumb. “Does it hurt?”

  Leah allowed her eyes drift up to him. “Yes.”

  The tenderness she felt towards him came rushing upon her unexpectedly.

  “I’m sorry. I wish I could take the pain for you.” He looked down at her, his heart beating like a tribal drum hammering out a tale of love.

  “I can never express how grateful I am that you were there tonight. They would have killed me.” Tears filled her eyes and they glistened in the soft light of the lamp.

  “Shhhh. You’re safe now.” He wrapped her in his arms, burying his face in her hair. “And…if you will allow me to, I will keep you safe forever.” His voice came out hoarse. Detrick found himself shocked by his own boldness. He could not tell her, he must not tell her, least he scare her away, but he knew at that moment… beyond a doubt, that he loved her.

  She did not back away as he feared she might. Instead, she continued to look up at him, her lips slightly parted. A bolt of magical energy shot through them both as their eyes held fast. Then his hand found its way behind her head. Tenderly he caressed her hair and gently pulled her towards him. In awe and disbelief, Detrick thanked God that he held this jewel in his arms. Their lips met, and all of the yearning they’d fought against for so long overtook them. Passion sped through their blood like a fast and wild wind. One kiss and then another…magical…sweet.

  In the heavens a symphony began to play as the angels and fates smiled down at the lovers.

  Chapter 21

  Detrick carried guilt like a boulder in his heart that weighed him down. He believed he betrayed Jacob each time he kissed Leah. But the love he felt for her consumed him. Nothing else brought him joy. No longer did his Olympic training fill his life. It had lost importance. Only Leah mattered. Her smile, her eyes. The look that came over her face right before he kissed her.

  At first the couple, blinded by love, took risks being seen together in public. It was hard for them to believe that such hatred could exist in a world where the two had found such beauty and light. They rode bikes through the streets and into the park. Walking together holding hands, they visited the zoo in the Teirgarten, marveling at the lush trees and landscape surrounding them. Leah and Detrick ate in outdoor cafes, oblivious to the angry gazes that greeted them.

  Detrick knew that he must talk to Jacob. Leah had completely separated from Lewis and the disappointment that might have brought to Jacob worried Detrick. Since Leah had chosen to keep the night of her rescue by Detrick and all that had occurred a secret, her parents never knew what caused Leah to sever her relationship with Lewis. They were unaware of how he’d left her to walk home alone. In their eyes, Detrick believed, Lewis would have been a perfect son-in-law. And here, Detrick, with nothing to offer, must tell Jacob that he loved Leah. He despised the thought of jeopardizing the friendship, but even worse, he could not bear to hurt his dear friend.

  Detrick stood at the counter in the candy store. He planned to bring Jacob’s favorites to the shop that night. A silly gesture, but one that made him feel better.

  After the box had been wrapped with red ribbon, Detrick paid the woman and left.

  A half of a block down, Detrick saw Karl leaning against the building, smoking a cigarette. Until now they had never conversed, but Detrick planned to offer his friendship.

  “Hello Karl.”

  “Stay away from my sister.”

  So, Karl knew what had transpired between him and Leah. Detrick wondered if Jacob knew as well.

  “Karl, I love Leah.”

  “I’m warning you, you fucking Nazi goy.”

  “Karl…” But before he could say another word Karl sent a right punch into his face. Detrick’s lip and nose spurted blood that fell upon the white box. But he would not raise his hands to hit Karl.

  “Hit me… Go ahead! Go ahead, so I can beat the shit out of you.”

  “Karl…this is not what I want. I am not a Nazi. I love your sister. Your father is my dearest friend.”

  Karl hit him again and split his lip.

  “Come on…let’s go, tough guy.”

  But Detrick just stood there with the blood running down his face.

  “Fuck you…coward.” Karl kicked the side of the building, turned, and walked away.

  The candy box was stained red w
ith blood. Detrick threw it in the trash and headed back home to clean up before he went to work.

  Jacob looked up from his work bench to see Detrick had arrived. His face was swelling and the bruises Karl had inflicted were becoming visible.

  “What happened to you?” Jacob rushed to his side.

  “Another bicycle accident,” Detrick smiled and winked.

  “Are you lying to me? Who did this to you?”

  “I got hurt while I was training.”

  “Detrick, you are a poor liar. Are you in some kind of trouble?” Jacob studied him.

  “No.” He would not tell Jacob about Karl. Even now he hoped that some day Karl would allow him to befriend him.

  “So, what is it?” Jacob asked again

  “I got hurt training. It’s nothing. But there is something I must discuss with you.”

  Jacob sat down and motioned towards the bench beside him for Detrick to sit.

  “Go on. I am listening.”

  Where to start? The thought of hurting Jacob unnerved him, but the dishonesty was far worse. Detrick hung his head. He could not meet Jacob’s eyes. His stomach ached as he fumbled to find the right words. “You know how much I care for you. You have been like a father to me. And God knows I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

  “Detrick, what is it, what are you trying to say?”

  Detrick took a deep breath and sighed. Then he met Jacob’s eyes with a serious stare. “I am in love with Leah. Although she has not said it, I believe she cares for me, too.”

  “Is that all?” Jacob laughed out loud. “Did you think I didn’t know? What…am I blind?” He patted Detrick’s shoulder. “Come and have some strudel.”

  Chapter 22

  After he left Detrick, Karl wiped the dried blood from his fist onto his pants. He lit another cigarette and slipped into an alleyway. It had grown dark but he had too much angry energy surging through him to go home. He knew he must walk it off. If he didn’t, this foul mood would never lift. Why had Detrick refused to fight him? Not for one second did Karl believe Detrick to be a coward. In fact, he felt sure Detrick would have beaten him. What made this goy different from the others? He shook his head. The blanket of darkness covered him like a friend shielding him from a society that had rejected him, forcing him to fight like an animal for his mere survival. For over two hours he meandered, smoking a cigarette and lighting another as soon as he’d finished. He’d managed to secure a bottle of schnapps, which he gulped along the way. The worries constantly haunting him now surfaced. How could he ever convince his family that they must leave Germany? They did not see the coming danger as clearly as he did. No matter what he said, they’d refused to believe him.

  For the most part, the town was quiet except when he passed the pub. Karl continued down the street into the non-Jewish sector of town. If he could find some Nazi and beat the shit out of him, Karl felt he might relax. Drunk, his body itched for a fight. He hated them, all of them.

  Then, up the road, he saw a group of pre-teen boys dressed in the uniforms of the Hitler Youth. They should not have been wandering the streets at such a late hour. Karl crossed the street. He would confront them and make them sorry they’d worn those despicable uniforms.

  “Heil Hitler!” One of the boys addressed him.

  “Fuck you and Hitler.”

  The boys looked at each other appalled; the words of treason offended them.

  “What did you say?”

  “I said fuck you and Hitler, and all of you fucking Nazis! I’m a Jew. Ya hear me? I’m a Jew!” The alcohol made Karl brash and brave.

  “A filthy Jew… No wonder.”

  Just the words Karl had been waiting for. He smashed the bottle against the side of a building. Now the broken glass became a weapon.

  One of the boys hit Karl in the stomach and he almost laughed aloud at the feeble attempt. Then two more attacked him from behind. Karl surface cut one of the boys across the face with the broken bottle. Then, as he turned, the glass found its way deep into the neck of another boy. It lodged there as the Hitler Youth fell to the ground, blood pouring as if from a garden hose onto his brown uniform. The other boys backed away. They looked at Karl. Until now, their anti-Semitism and hatred had been parroted from the sentiments of adults. They had never fathomed dying for it. A thick puddle of dark, red blood pooled on the sidewalk. The dying boy, turned just thirteen a week prior, found it difficult to breathe as he choked on the blood that ran down his throat. As he gasped and gagged, the struggle continued for several minutes. Then the raspy noise stopped.

  He was dead.

  Karl had not expected to kill him. The drunken anger dissipated. Now all he felt was fear. If he were caught, they would punish him severely.

  The bloody bottle dropped from Karl’s hand, breaking into pieces on the street. He turned and ran. Expecting to be chased, he hid in alleyways, but no one followed him. Karl arrived at home to find everyone asleep. In his top drawer, he kept all of the money he’d saved from his bar-mitzva. Placing that and a bunch of clothes into a suitcase, he headed for the door. Before he left, he reached into his father’s coat pocket which hung on the rack. Inside he found a small wad of cash. Karl took the money and left. Now, he could never return home. His presence would bring danger to his entire family.

  Still watching and careful, he went to the train station. The next train out was headed for Warsaw, Poland. Karl bought a one way ticket.

  Book Two

  Chapter 23

  Berlin

  Helga Haswel surveyed her closet with a discerning eye as she removed the pin curls from her long hair. Golden-blonde curls fell about her shoulders. Such an important dance, and all she had to wear were hand-me-downs. Disappointment and frustration grew into anger as she flung the hangers from side to side. She’d been invited to attend a ball at the Nazi Headquarters. Finally she felt she would have the opportunity to meet the right sort of men, men of power, money and distinction. Men who could offer her the future she had dreamed of for so long. Back and forth, she shifted her dresses, not satisfied with any of the selections. If she had more time, she would ask her brother, Detrick, to lend her the money for a new gown. But she had received the invitation the previous evening and the dance would be held tonight. Such short notice!

  A girlfriend, Gretchen, to whom she had become close over the last several months, had received two tickets and asked Helga if she would like to accompany her. Would she like to attend? My gosh, what a question. Of course she would! When Gretchen had mentioned the dance, she had shivered with excitement, hardly able to catch her breath.

  Again, she scouted through her things, and finally settled upon a forest green taffeta that she’d purchased at a thrift store. Taking it from its hanger, she pulled it over her head to try it on and stood before the mirror. Regardless of the fact that she wore a second-hand dress, no one could deny her sparkling beauty. With full breasts, slim hips and long legs, accenting a tiny waist, she made a striking vision. Satisfied with her appearance, a smile crept slowly across her lips. Helga giggled as she whirled about, the full skirts and petticoats floating around her. Then she sat down on her bed, eyes still glued to the looking glass. Folding her hands in her lap she thought, Maybe my life is changing.

  In two weeks, on November 20, 1937, Helga Haswell would celebrate her eighteenth birthday. She tilted her head, pouting her lips in a mock kiss at her reflection. Soon she would be a woman; soon she would make her own decisions. Her mother had discouraged her from accepting this invitation. Inga told her that the Nazis were not all that she believed them to be. But then again…what did her mother know?

  Chapter 24

  The banquet hall had been superbly decorated with banners hanging from the ceiling bearing the likeness of the Fuehrer. In the pictures, Hitler wore a serious expression as he gazed down at his followers with God-like power. Nazi flags stood, reaching more than twelve feet in height, circling the dance floor. Large, sparkling crystal vases filled with an array of autu
mn-colored flowers appeared on each linen-adorned table. These arrangements reached so high that they obscured the vision of the guests on either side. The fine cream-colored china tableware had been carefully hand painted with black swastikas in their centers. Around the perimeter of the dishes, tiny swastikas of 24-karat gold had been inlaid in a circular pattern, to match the golden flatware.

  High-ranking and lower-ranking officers strutted about, taking pride in their party and feeling accomplished in their uniforms. Many were alone, while others held the arms of attractive ladies in flowing gowns. A large group of uniformed men, both army and SS, stood at the bar, sipping bitter, dark German beer.

  Helga and her friend Gretchen inhaled the splendor, which exceeded all of their expectations. Chairs had been set up along the wall for single girls - wallflowers awaiting a dance partner. The two chose seats in the center. It took less than fifteen minutes for a young party member to ask Helga to dance. He approached, head bowed, in his pressed uniform and spit-shined boots. She could see by his medals that he held a lower rank, but Helga didn’t care, she longed to dance. When she followed him out to the floor her heart thumped with excitement. Everyone turned to look at the magnificent blonde in the rich emerald dress smoothly gliding across the floor. From that moment on she never sat down. Whirling like a princess in a fairy tale, Helga waltzed until the lights flickered on and off, indicating time to take a seat for dinner. She turned, thanking the last man she’d danced with, and as she did, she saw a tall high-ranking SS officer standing at the bar staring at her approvingly. Helga turned away, shy, with the blood rising in her cheeks as she followed Gretchen to their seats. When the girls were seated, Helga tried to catch another glimpse of him, but he had gone, so she assumed he had forgotten her.