All My Love, Detrick

by Roberta Kagan

  “Apologize, say you were tricked. And perhaps…just perhaps I might let you live.”

  “I am sorry, but not that I helped the Jews. I am sorry I was born one of you. It sickens me what the Nazis have done.”

  “You stupid man. You fool.” He hit Detrick across the face, breaking his nose. Blood shot across the room and splattered on to the wall.

  Detrick’s entire body was filled with pain. “Call me what you will. I will never regret helping my friends… Never.”

  Now the officer grew even angrier, and in his rage, he swung the steel pipe across Detrick’s knees. Again, the deafening crack was followed by terrible pain, and Detrick knew his knees had been destroyed.

  “Say you are sorry… Say the Jews are nothing but lice, and I will send you to a hospital where you will get help.”

  Detrick’s voice had gone hoarse from the pain. He looked up into the SS officer’s pale blue eyes and a last flood of bravery came over him. “I am a Jew. I converted. My wife is a Jew and my child is a Jew.”

  With that the Nazi officer took the steel club and, with all of his might, he slammed it across Detrick’s skull. Blood poured like a river. The guard held the weapon in front of Detrick as he paced around him like a panther, continuing to make demands.

  But Detrick no longer heard him. His mind had mercifully silenced the malevolent words. Now all he saw and heard, as his eyes closed upon the world, was Leah. She smiled as she told him she loved him. A vision…a premonition of the future...came to him as clearly as if it took place right before him. He saw a little blond boy in his wife’s arms; they sat together by a fireplace and she kissed the child’s forehead. In his heart, Detrick felt the contentment, and in the knowing that they would be all right, he allowed himself the escape of death.

  Chapter 158

  On April 30, 1945, Hitler and his wife Eva Braun committed suicide. Only a few days later the Nazis surrendered. The war was over. The Allies marched in to the previously-occupied territory and liberated the concentration camps. The soldiers were sickened by the horrific conditions they uncovered. In May of 1948, Israel became a state. Although the tiny Jewish country was attacked countless times by its Middle Eastern neighbors, it prevailed through the sheer will of a people who gave everything to build a dream. And today, the Jews have a homeland.

  Chapter 159

  Geneva, Switzerland,1965

  Regardless of what he tried, Daniel Joseph Haswell could never keep his hair from falling over his left eye. As he stood before the mirror, he ran a comb through his stylish, long golden mane. Today he would marry. In the room across the hall, his mother, Leah Haswell, dressed for the occasion. She laid the maroon dress with the paisley flowers across the bed. This gown would not have been her choice, but Sara, her future daughter-in law, loved it. So, who was she to spoil their wedding day? Leah just looked at the dress and laughed a little. Just let them both live long, happy and healthy lives, she thought. Then she went to her dressing table and carefully applied her makeup. Twisting her graying hair into a simple knot, she studied her image in the mirror. Satisfied, she went to her small jewelry box. Inside she found the well-worn yellowed paper. Today she would allow her son to read the letter. It was time he read the words his father had written on that last day she’d seen him. She remembered the first time she’d opened the envelope and read the final words Detrick would ever say to her. It had been almost an entire week before she accepted the fact that he would not return. She’d paced the tiny hotel room morning to night, unable to rest. Yet somehow she knew that Sunday night that he had died. Although Leah refused at first to believe that Detrick had left the earth, she had known in her heart just when it happened. She’d felt it; she’d seen his face in her mind and heard him whisper, “Take care of our child.”

  Sadly, she also knew that Jacob had perished and she would now be on her own. She’d named her son for them both…Daniel for Detrick, Joseph, for Jacob.

  Leah had never remarried. Not because there had not been ample opportunities, but because she never stopped loving Detrick. There had just never been room for anyone else in her heart. All of the love and affection within her she’d used to blanket Daniel from a cruel world. It had not been easy; sometimes she’d missed Detrick so much that she felt she might perish with the loneliness. But sometimes Leah found solace in talking to the small picture the two had taken at the arcade so long ago. Financially, Leah and Daniel’s lives had been a balancing act. At first she’d used the money Detrick left to get situated. It had been just enough to make the move to Geneva and purchase a second-hand piano. After that she’d earned their way by giving music lessons. Sometimes money did not flow as freely as she would have liked, but every day she thanked God for this precious gift, this child created from a love so great that even death could not destroy it. It was the little blond boy with his father’s dimpled smile who had kept her going.

  “Mom?” Daniel interrupted her thoughts.

  “Yes, dear?”

  “I can’t find my tie.”

  “I thought you put it in your top drawer.”

  “That’s right. I guess I’m so nervous that I forgot.”

  For a moment Leah remembered her own wedding; how she and Detrick had stood there in that dark attic room; how he’d thrown the jacket of his Nazi uniform on the floor and taken her hand as they walked together beneath the makeshift canopy.

  “Sara wanted me to give you this. But it’s really from both of us.” Daniel entered her room and handed her a small white box.

  Smiling at him she opened it. Inside she found a gold heart a little larger than an American silver dollar.

  “It opens.” Daniel smiled.

  With care she pried the locket apart to find a small photo of Daniel and Sara.

  “This is lovely. Thank you.”

  ”Read the back. That’s the part from Sara.”

  Leah reached for her glasses and turned the piece on to its back. The inscription read, “Thank you for raising a wonderful son.”

  Tears filled her eyes as she looked at the beautiful boy who stood before her, so strong, so confident.

  “What’s that paper?” Daniel noticed the letter that lay upon the bed.

  For a moment she considered not showing it to him. After all, why bring this up on his wedding day? “Never mind, it’s nothing.”

  “I can see by your face, Mom, that it’s something important. Are we in some kind of financial trouble? Because I want you to know that, even though I am getting married, I will help you if you need it.”

  “No.” She laughed out loud. “I’m fine. Your responsibilities are to your new wife.”

  “Then, what is that, Mother?”

  “It’s a letter. The last letter I ever received from your father. He left it with me when he went back to Germany to try and save your grandfather from Bergen-Belsen. I was not to open it unless he did not return.”

  “Can I see it, please?”

  She handed him the letter. Sinking down onto her bed, he read the words Detrick had written before his birth:

  My Dearest Love,

  If you are reading this, then fate has it that I am dead. It breaks my heart to leave you behind, alone and with our child. More than I can ever say, I wish I could be beside you, to love you and to help you raise this precious life within your womb. Tell our child how I would have loved him or her with my whole heart, the same way I have always loved you. Share our pride in our Jewish heritage with the little one. Make sure that he or she knows how much our people have sacrificed to be Jews. I guess one would agree that I, too, have sacrificed to be a Jew, even though I was not born into the religion.

  And now, I must tell you that you have been the greatest joy of my life, my reason for living. Every precious moment we spent together, I have cherished more than you will ever know. So often, in my mind, I go back over everything we’ve shared and I think, "I have truly been a lucky man. I have truly been blessed." Even though this has come to a tragic end, I have no
regrets. My love for you was my light in the darkness, and my darling, .it burnt so very, very brightly. Bright enough to illuminate an entire world.

  God Bless you, and our baby. May you both live in safety and in peace.

  All my love,

  Detrick

  “Mom, I don’t know what to say.” Daniel looked at Leah, his face stained with tears.

  “There is nothing to say. Your father loved us very much.”

  Daniel nodded, handing the letter back to Leah. Then he went into his room, where he went into the box where he kept the things he cherished from his childhood. Once, when he was just a boy, his mother gave him a Star of David necklace. It had been years since he’d worn it. Carefully, he took it out of the box and put it on. He would wear it in honor of his father and of his people today, on the most important day of his life.

  Leah sprayed a single spritz of cologne as a finishing touch before leaving for the synagogue. Soon Daniel would be married and she would be alone in this apartment. She sighed, wondering how can someone be so happy and so sad at the same time?

  Then as she turned the light off in her room she heard a familiar voice in her mind. A faint hint of peppermint drifted through the air.

  “You’re never alone, my darling. I’m always here. My body may be gone, but my spirit has never left you. Don’t be sad. I’ll stay by your side while you are still on earth, and when the time comes for you to join me, I will be waiting for you with my arms open.” She felt Detrick’s hand, warm on her shoulder. “Come, my love, let’s go and take our son under the canopy. It’s a good day for a wedding. L’Chaim.”

  “L’Chaim,” she whispered.

  The End

  If you enjoyed “All my Love, Detrick”

  Please see Roberta Kagan’s other novel,

  “A Flicker of Light.”

  www.RobertaKagan.Com

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