Secrets or Surrender

by Mary Tribbey

  Chapter 14

  When they approached Tampa, Dave turned the car off the freeway and headed south. After a short time, they entered the outskirts of the city. As he continued driving, the greenness of the surroundings changed to apartment buildings lining both sides of the road. There were a few trees growing along the road, but gradually even those disappeared. The buildings looked shabbier and lots of small children with a multitude of skin colors played or lounged in front of the buildings. After driving another mile, Dave turned right and pulled into the parking lot of a large gray colored complex that looked like a school. Dave stopped the car, slowly got out, and helped her slide out beside him.

  “This is really where my football career began. At least, this is where people began noticing that I played well. My coach here was a remarkable man. He cared and encouraged me. He helped me gain the confidence in myself that gave me the courage and determination to keep working at it. As I practiced hard, I improved and scouts from some of the colleges came around. He helped me decide which ones were out to help me and which ones were just out to use me. Couch Thompson is a man that I really admire. I credit a lot of my success to him. He is still coaching here, and I thought we might try to see him. I’d really like to have you meet him. I have such good memories of my time playing football here, and it’s all because of him,” Dave enthused as he led Joan down the corridors to the practice football field. Once outside the building, he pointed across the field to a man wearing a bright green sweatshirt. He took Joan’s elbow and guided her across the field to where the man was talking to a group of players. As Dave approached, an excited murmur swept over the crowd. The man turned around. When he saw Dave, he hurried over and gave him a big bear hug, which Dave returned enthusiastically.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt your practice, Coach,” Dave said, “but I was travelling through the area and I wanted to pay my respects. I would also like you to meet a good friend of mine, Joan Marshall. She’s writing an article about me for a sports magazine, and I thought you might be able to give her some information about me as a high school player. If you’re too busy, we can come back later today,” Dave added

  “Don’t be silly! I’ll make time for you. It’s always great to see you,” he said. “I was just going to have them do some drills. I’ve got an idea. While I talk to Miss Marshall, why don’t you talk to the boys or run some drills. Give them a pep talk or some pointers. I think meeting you would be something they will never forget,” the coach suggested.

  When the coach introduced Dave, the guys all shouted, although they had recognized him when he walked across the field. Once Dave started talking, you could have heard a pin drop. Coach Thompson led Joan to the bleachers. Joan took out her notebook and began asking questions about Dave. Coach Thompson beamed when he recounted the games, plays, and things he remembered about the years when Dave played for him. He talked enthusiastically about Dave’s drive, determination, honesty, sense of responsibility, and his natural leadership abilities. Joan liked the coach and took several pages of notes and comments from him.

  When Joan looked up, she noticed Dave was out in the middle of the field with the players clustered around him. He’d slipped off his jacket and tossed it on the ground. While she watched, he lined them up and began tossing passes to them. By the time the bell rang and the class period was over, Joan had finished talking to the coach. She watched how Dave stopped to chat with each boy, showed him a tip and gave him a pat of encouragement and a smile.

  After the players ran off the field, Joan and the coach walked over to where Dave was putting on his jacket. Joan noticed him grimace when he bent his arm to put his jacket on. She helped ease it over his arm. Suddenly, she remembered that Dave wasn’t supposed to be doing any exercising or practicing. They said their goodbyes and thanks to Coach Thompson and returned to the car. Once inside the car, Joan turned and looked at Dave’s face. He looked tired and was in obvious pain.

  “Dave, I can see your shoulder is hurting you now. “Let me drive while you sit and rest. I really don’t mind driving, and it might help ease your shoulder.”

  “That sounds like a great idea. I think I overdid it back there. I’m going to have to be more careful. Don’t tell the trainer or the coach about that. They’d scalp me if they knew I’d been throwing passes,” Dave admitted sheepishly.

  “Why did you keep throwing the ball after your shoulder started hurting?” Joan asked.

  “I didn’t want any of the boys to feel left out. They seemed so thrilled to have a chance to play with me. I just didn’t have the heart to tell them I couldn’t. Besides, it just started hurting about 15 minutes before we were ready to leave. It’s hard for me to admit that I’m hurt. I guess its part masculine pride and part stupidity. Or are those the same thing?” he asked with a slow smile.

  Dave directed her out of the parking lot and back to the road they had driven in on. He had her continue driving about thirty minutes before turning off on a two lane road heading east. The countryside changed to deep shades of green again as she continued driving. At the next stop sign, Dave told her to turn left. About a mile down the road, he directed her into a narrow tree lined driveway that entered a deep stand of trees. As they rounded a curve, a huge white house with a full length porch stretched out in front of them. Off to the right, Joan could see a blue expanse of water. A bright red Cadillac convertible sat in front of the sidewalk leading to the porch. Joan pulled up beside the car and parked.

  “Well, here we are,” Dave announced. He got out of the car and walked around to open Joan’s door. Before she could even get out, a tall, brown haired woman darted down the sidewalk and threw her arms around Dave. Dave wrapped his good arm around her and swung her in a circle. She shrieked and laughed as he stopped.

  “Davey,” she exclaimed. “Welcome home, honey. You’ve been away too long.”

  “Mom, this is Joan Marshall. Joan, this is my mother Caroline Allen,” he said as he introduced them.

  Dave’s mother hugged Joan. “Welcome to our home, Joan. Any friend of Dave’s is always welcome here. Dave tells me you’re a writer and that you are going to write an article about him. I don’t know how you managed that. He usually runs from publicity.”

  “Thanks for the warm welcome. You have a lovely home here,” Joan said as she looked around.

  Caroline led them to the porch. A large white table surrounded by chairs was waiting for them. In the center was an ice cold pitcher of lemonade and several glasses. Before sitting down, Caroline led Joan inside to her room. It was a spacious, sunny bedroom on the second floor. A terrace looked out over the lake.

  “This is Vicky’s room. I guess I should say it ‘was’ her room, but I just can’t admit that she’s gone for good. I hope you enjoy your stay. Dave says you are leaving tomorrow. I wish you could convince him to stay longer. I miss having him around. This old house seems so empty now that the kids are gone, but it has such happy memories that I don’t want to move. Forgive me for rattling on. When you finish freshening up, come on down to the porch for some lemonade.” she bubbled before giving Joan another quick hug and left her standing in the middle of the bedroom. A white canopy bed filled one corner of the room. White and yellow curtains, bedspread, and canopy cover added a further sense of lightness to the room. Joan washed her hands and face before going back down the long curving staircase to the front of the house. Although Joan felt awed by the size and simple elegance of the house, she was even more deeply impressed by the warmth, friendliness, and energy of Dave’s mother.

  When Joan emerged into the shaded area of the porch, Dave, Caroline, and a distinguished looking man were seated around the table. Dave stood up and escorted Joan to a seat between the man and himself.

  “Well, Dave, you certainly weren’t exaggerating,” the man said with a slow smile that spread across his face as he turned to take Joan’s hand in a warm handshake.
“I’m delighted to meet you, Joan. My name is Richard, but most people call me Richie.”

  “Now, Rich, stop flirting. What will Joan think?” Caroline kidded.

  They sat and sipped the refreshing glass of lemonade while they caught up on all the family news. Even though they were busy talking about family news, all three of them made an effort to include Joan in the conversation. They laughed and talked with great animation. Joan was caught up in their easy good humored company.

  Dave had to explain again the nature of his shoulder injury, and he reassured his mother that it wasn’t that serious. His dad seemed especially concerned with how Dave was handling the injury than the medical aspect. After talking to Dave for a while, Rich seemed satisfied that everything was all right with Dave.

  After that the conversation turned to Joan and the article. All during dinner and the early part of the evening, they continued talking. They told stories about Dave and what he had been like as a boy. They glowed with pride when they talked about him. It was obvious they loved him very much. After dinner was over, they again retired to the cool porch area. They watched the lights of the houses around the lake begin to come on. Each one appeared to double as it was reflected in the shimmering water of the lake. Slowly it grew dark and the moon came out. A warm sense of peacefulness and security settled around the group on the porch.

  Joan took out her notebook and jotted down things as she listened to the others talking. She was overcome with the warm closeness of Dave’s family. It was almost too much for her to be around, because it was so different than her life had been. Caroline glanced over and noticed the change in Joan’s expression.

  “Is something wrong, Joan?” she asked quietly. “All of a sudden you seem to be sad and distant.”

  The men looked over at Joan. Her face was touched by the moonlight and the sadness in her eyes was clearly revealed.

  “I’m all right,” Joan answered too quickly.

  “Now, honey, you can’t fool me. I’ve had three girls. I can see something is hurting inside of you. Won’t you tell us? Sometimes it helps sharing feelings. That’s what we always do. It’s all right to feel sad, but maybe we can help chase it away if you share it,” she urged.

  “You’d better fess up, Joan. Mom is like a bloodhound when she gets started,” Dave kidded.

  “There’s no way you could chase it away, but I was just thinking about my childhood and family life compared to yours. I don’t usually get sad like this, but I feel so much closeness and love between the three of you. It’s almost like being a child standing outside a candy store. You can see everyone inside eating candy and having a party and knowing you never even had a taste and never will,” Joan answered.

  “I don’t understand. Why does our family make you feel that way?” Caroline asked softly in the growing darkness.

  “It’s a long story and I don’t want to bore you with it,” Joan said quietly.

  “Please, Joan, share some of what you are feeling and thinking,” Caroline encouraged.

  Slowly Joan shifted position. The moonlight cast a silvery glow on her face. “I’ve never had a ‘family life’, at least not since I was six years old. Even then, it was never a family like this. You see, my mother died shortly after I was born. My father was my only family. He was a wonderful man; at least, that is what my few memories tell me about him. He died when I was six in a freak accident, just like the one you had in the Adams Rib restaurant the night we met. Only, back then, no one who was there knew what to do to save him. That’s how I knew what was happening and why I reacted so quickly, the way I did.”

  “What accident?” Richard asked.

  “I can’t believe that I didn’t tell you. I guess because it happened and was over so quickly, there was no reason to call you. I was out with my offensive linemen at this restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and would have died if Joan hadn’t applied the Heimlich maneuver. Actually, according to the ambulance attendant and the doctor, I was actually dead for a while, because both my heart and breathing had stopped. Joan happened to be there and she saved my life. By the time the ambulance got there, I was beginning to breathe on my own. That’s how we met,” Dave explained.

  Caroline’s face turned white as she listened to Dave’s explanation. She leaned over and hugged Joan, too overcome to say more than, “Thank God you were there!”

  Rich took her hand. “We can never repay you for saving Dave’s life. How did you know what to do?” he asked.

  “My dad died when he choked on food and no one knew what to do to save him. After that happened, I vowed I’d never watch anyone else die that way. When I got old enough, I studied everything I could find on first aid. I learned CPR and the Heimlich maneuver. I’m not a hero. I just couldn’t stand the thought of someone else dying needlessly,” she said with a shuddering sigh.

  “What happened after your dad died?” Caroline asked.

  “I didn’t have any other relatives, so I was made a ward of the court. I was too old to be placed with an adoptive family. People only wanted babies, not an unhappy, angry, frightened six year old. Over the years, I lived in 14 different foster homes. I never had a permanent home. I never felt I belonged to anyone or fit in anywhere. Seeing you and your family makes me acutely aware of what I missed. It isn’t that I envy you or wish you harm, it just makes me remember the long empty years when I was growing up,” Joan admitted softly.

  Caroline put her arm around Joan and hugged her close. She stroked Joan’s hair and crooned while tears flowed down Joan’s cheeks while she silently cried. When she looked up, she saw there were tears on all the other faces around her.

  I’m sorry I made you all sad,” she mumbled. ”That’s why I don’t talk about it.”

  “Don’t be silly, Joan. We are just sharing your pain. It will pass away in time now that you have a family,” Caroline added soothingly.

  “I don’t have a family,” Joan said in confusion.

  Yes you do, Joan,” Rich said firmly. “For all that you have done for us, you are now and always will be a welcome part of our family. If you hadn’t acted when you did, we’d never be able to see or talk to Dave again. Our house and the love we have are big enough to include you. I don’t want you to ever feel alone again. From now on, this is your family, too,” he added as he reached over and squeezed her hand.

  “That’s right,” Caroline added. “This is your home now and we are proud to say you are part of our family.”

  For several minutes, they sat in companionable silence. The sounds of crickets and frogs added soothing background music. A cool breeze blew across the table and gently fanned Joan’s hair.

  Later Caroline and Rich excused themselves and headed inside. Dave and Joan lingered in the cool darkness of the porch.

  “Would you like to take a short walk down to the lake?” Dave asked. “It is so beautiful at this time of night.”

  “That sounds good. It's getting late, but I don't feel like going in right now,” she answered.

  Hand in hand, they walked across the moonlit lawn until the path wandered into the trees along the shore. Dave guided her until they reached a small dock. A motor boat was tied to the dock. He helped her down into the boat, and they sat side-by-side. Gentle waves lapped against the sides of the boat making it rock slightly from side to side. Joan felt the tension and emotion of the evening draining out of her body. She sighed and relaxed against the cushions

  Dave draped his arm protectively around her, and her head dropped back against his shoulder. The moon drifted behind a cloud and Joan shivered in the darkness. Dave pulled her closer and held her in a gentle embrace. He bent his head down and covered her lips with his mouth. Joan turned in his embrace and her arms slowly encircled his neck. Her lips parted at the feel of his tongue touching her lips, and she leaned against him surrendering to the feel of his warm, strong body. As the kiss deepened, Joan found herself falling
deeper and deeper under Dave’s spell.

  A sudden flash of lightning startled them back to reality just before the rain began pouring down. They dashed up the path and collapsed out of breath on the porch swing. When Dave reached for her hand, she stiffened. Dave sensed the change in her body.

  “It’s getting late, Joan. We’d better get to bed. I’ll walk you to your door,” he added as he took her hand and led her inside and up the staircase. At the top, he guided her through the silent house to her bedroom. “I’m right across the hallway if you need anything,” he whispered softly. He pulled her close and hugged her briefly before gently kissing her forehead and saying good night. He walked across the hall, turned, blew her a kiss, and went into his room.

  Joan looked across at his door and felt a strange loneliness and a desire to cross the hallway and walk back into his arms. Slowly she shook herself loose from her desire and entered her room.