by Claire Adams
“I told you,” she snapped. “There was a lot going on with our move and the new job. I just wasn’t able to make it. I would have called, but I knew you would just give me hell for it, so I decided that it was best that I just leave it alone. You are incredibly difficult to deal with when you are angry.”
“How dare you!”
“How dare I what?” she asked.
“How dare you make excuses for leaving your daughter waiting for you on the front steps,” I snapped. “How dare you use me as an excuse for you being a shitty-ass human being. Do you know why I am angry when you fuck up like that? Because I am the one who has to spend months holding her at night after one of these mommy sessions, because she cries all night long. She begs for her mother, and it’s absolutely heartbreaking. I would love nothing more than to tell her how selfish her mother is, how she doesn’t care about anyone but herself and what makes her feel good on the inside, how she chose freedom over spending her time with her own flesh and blood. You are a disgusting human being, Christina, and I don’t want you thinking you can just barge into our lives at any time. You are not part of our life anymore. We are moving on.”
“I don’t understand why you are being so hostile toward me,” she yelled. “I am calling to spend time with Kayla, not purposely ditch on her. I’m sorry that you are so perfect that you never have anything in your life come up that keeps you from going somewhere.”
“You know what? I have an extremely busy life, but there is nothing that could come in the way of being with my daughter and fulfilling promises to her when I make them,” I said angrily. “It would be one thing if you were doing this to me. I’m a grown man, and I understand it. I can even turn my feelings off toward it, but you are doing it to Kayla. She’s 7 fucking years old, and you are breaking her heart, and she doesn’t know how to stop loving you and wanting you. You disgust me, and I can promise you that no matter how much she wants you in her life, she may not know it yet, but she doesn’t need you at all. She has more than enough here with me and my family. They love her no matter what and make sacrifices for her happiness. I don’t give a damn that you left me, but you didn’t have to leave your daughter, too. You made that choice because you didn’t want to be her mother anymore, and now, you have to live with the consequences of those actions.”
“You are being completely unfair,” she screamed. “It has been over a year, and you still cannot forgive me.”
At that, she hung up the phone, which was probably good since I had a whole slew of things lined up in my head to tell her. I hadn’t unloaded on her like that ever, and it felt good to get it out of my system. Still, just like every other time that she called, it put me in a shitty mood, and now, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much that woman infuriated me. My anxiety was on high alert, and I slammed my phone down on the table, not wanting to deal with anything that had to do with her. Every single time I turned around, she was fucking up mine or Kayla’s life in some way, and I couldn’t deal with it anymore.
Chapter Fourteen
Alissa
When I got to the house, I walked in the door like usual with two cups of coffee, but the smile on my face quickly fizzled as I noticed Ryan pacing back and forth in the kitchen. He looked way more agitated than normal, and I didn’t really know what to say. He looked up at me and gruffed a hello, causing me to put his coffee down on the counter and clear my throat. This was not at all how I thought the morning would start. I didn’t know whether I should talk to him about what was going on or just let him come to me. After a few more minutes of him staring out the kitchen window, I realized I should probably make sure he was okay since we had a really long day of work ahead of us, stuff that could wait if he wanted.
“Ryan, what’s wrong?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he snapped. “Let’s just get to work. There is a lot to do.”
I shook my head and followed him into the living room, standing back and approving of the paint that they had applied the day before. We worked silently, removing the tape from the walls, starting to hang up shelves, and laying out the rug that was going on the floor. I looked over at him and watched his short, angry movements, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I couldn’t help but wonder if I had done something wrong. Maybe I had misread the entire situation, and Ryan didn’t feel the way I felt. Maybe he only thought of me as his sister and decorator, and falling off the ladder was just a ploy to keep him close. Oh, God, what if he thought I was trying to weasel my way in, and he had no feelings for me at all? I may have just made a huge ass out of myself, and I didn’t even realize it until that moment. He was so angry, and I guessed if I felt that way, I would be angry at me, too. He was supposed to be able to trust me, to rely on me, and I had made it look like I was some young girl fawning all over him in one of the hardest times of his life.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, after standing there for several minutes in cold silence.
I couldn’t take it anymore, the not knowing, the assuming that I had done something to cause him to act that way toward me. I couldn’t just sit there and let it go on. Whether we had mutual feelings or not for each other, he was part of the family, and his daughter had become a very important part of my life. I couldn’t let him continue to stew over this until he no longer wanted me around. He slowly turned around and looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed.
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I got caught up in everything, but I don’t know what I did. I really enjoy spending time with you, more than I have with anyone else in my life, in fact. I don’t want that to end. You are obviously upset with me, and I want to apologize for what happened yesterday. That was in no way intentional. My foot just slipped off the ladder, and you caught me. The moment was a lot, I know, but I guess I read too much into it. Listen, why don’t I just go for today, and we can start fresh tomorrow?”
“Whoa, whoa,” he said, grabbing my arm before I could walk out of the living room. “God, I am so sorry. I am not upset with you at all. My mood has nothing to do with you. Christina called this morning and acted like a royal bitch, as usual. It just spun me all up and made me want to scream at her.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling slightly foolish. “What did she want?”
“She wanted to tell me she was coming into town soon and wanted to see Kayla,” he said. “Only last time she did that, she left that little girl standing at the front door and never showed up. She had the audacity to blame me for not calling and explaining why she didn’t come. She can never take responsibility for her own actions, so I let her have it. Before she hung up on me, she said she couldn’t understand why I couldn’t forgive her. Are you kidding me? I mean, sure, maybe I could forgive her for cheating on me, but abandoning her daughter? Never. She didn’t have to move away. She could have stayed in the area and had custody of Kayla, but she didn’t want her.”
“What?” I could feel the blood boiling in my veins. “She is such a selfish bitch. I’m sorry, Ryan, but I have been holding this in the entire time I have been coming over here. Kayla is an amazing child and needs very little upkeep as far as children go. She wants love and attention. That’s it. Christina decided that she wanted to relive her glory days as a fucking whore, and she didn’t want to have the responsibility of a child. God, I’m sorry. You know all of this.”
“No.” He chuckled. “It’s okay. Trust me; you are allowed to say those things. You have been here taking care of both of us long enough to see the truth.”
“I just don’t understand it,” I said quietly.
“What?”
“Sure, there is no way to understand why a woman would just leave her child, but to leave a man that is as good as you, that is just baffling,” I said with blushed cheeks. “She never deserved you, not for one second. I hope that you know that.”
I got nervous and swayed back and forth on my feet as he stepped forward, staring at me. He reached over and lifted my chin with his fingers, leaning down and kissing my lips
softly. I held my breath and closed my eyes, leaning into him and feeling the butterflies surge through my stomach and into my chest. It was everything I thought it would be and more.
When his lips pulled away from mine, I stood there with my eyes closed for another moment, letting the feelings settle. My eyes slowly opened and met his as he reached forward and took my hand, speaking no words but communicating very clearly with his actions. He turned and pulled me behind him, leading me upstairs into his newly decorated bedroom. He closed the door and flipped off the lights, turning to me and walking forward.
I stood nervously, not knowing what to do next, but I didn’t have to. He took control of the situation. I watched as he pulled his shirt from his raging muscles and tossed it on the floor. He reached forward and ran his fingers down the straps of my tank top, over my heaving breasts, and down to the edge. I lifted my arms over my head as he lifted it up and tossed it to the side. I stepped forward and kissed him again, this time with more passion and lust.
He trailed his fingers down my stomach and unbuttoned my shorts, pulling them down until they dropped. Our kiss grew more intense, and I reached behind me, releasing my bra and allowing my breasts to spill out in front of me. He grabbed onto them and massaged lightly as his tongue swirled around inside my mouth.
Suddenly, he reached down and grabbed me by the waist, lifting me up and laying me down on his bed. I reached my arms over my head as his lips trailed over my nipples, pausing only momentarily to flick at them with his tongue. He continued to move down over my stomach, hooking his fingers into the sides of my lacy panties and pulling them off me. I took in a deep breath as he laid his torso down between my legs and dipped his head down, sliding his tongue through the folds of my pussy. I moaned quietly, feeling his warm, wet tongue swirl through my juices and up around my clit. I could feel the heat bubbling in my stomach with every stroke of his tongue, and all I could think about was wanting more.
He reached his fingers up and spread my lips apart, sliding a finger inside of me slowly. I lifted my hips and moaned loudly, feeling him go deep and then slide back out again. His tongue moved wildly over my clit, sucking and nibbling faster and faster as my body began to writhe and move against him. I reached up and grabbed the edge of the new headboard and held on as I lifted my hips back up and ground against his mouth. He groaned into my pussy, sending the vibrations flowing through me and pushing that heat over the edge. Immediately, my head flew back, and my body arched as I screamed out in pleasure. I could feel the orgasm reverberating through every inch of my body as he moved his mouth steadily against me, tasting my juices and groaning as he lapped me up.
Before my body was fully relaxed again, he reached down and pulled off his shorts and boxers, sliding up toward my face. I could feel his huge, fully erect cock laying against my leg, and my eyes grew wide at the sheer size of him. He smiled cockily and reached over next to the bed, pulling a condom from a drawer and tearing off the top. He slid the condom over his shaft and put one hand by my head and the other under my lower back. He pulled my body up as he rolled his hips, pushing through the wetness. Instantly, he was deep inside of me.
I screamed out in ecstasy, feeling every inch of his huge cock fill me up completely. I relaxed my hips and drew my legs up to his sides, feeling his motion over and over again inside of me. His rock-solid body rubbed against my clit, and I could feel the smoothness of his skin. I closed my eyes and growled, feeling another orgasm building inside of me. I had never experienced ecstasy of this magnitude before, and it was driving me wild.
Ryan sat up and grabbed my hips with both hands, wrapping his strong fingers around me and pulling me forward to meet him as he thrust hard against me. Our skin slapped together, echoing through the room and filling my ears. Over and over again, he pushed deep inside of me before pulling back, never looking out of control of his movements for even a second. It was like he’d thought about this before and was replaying a fantasy already in his mind. I reached my arms out to both sides of the bed and held on tightly as he began to slam into me faster and deeper than before.
“Yes,” I screamed out, throwing my head back as his fingers moved down over my clit.
He groaned and clenched his teeth, and my body began to stiffen and convulse. I could feel my pussy vibrating against his shaft, and my warm juices flowed over his cock and down the base. He gripped me tighter, and he thrust deep and hard a few more times before pushing deep inside of me and leaning over top of me. I moaned loudly, feeling his dick pulsating over and over as he came hard and deep. His hips continued to move in short bursts until his body began to release the tension. He let out a deep breath and fell to my side, leaning his head against my shoulder and breathing deeply.
That was definitely the most erotic experience of my life, and I couldn’t believe that we had finally given in to our primal instincts.
Chapter Fifteen
Ryan
I stood looking at myself in the mirror as I cleaned up, excitement running through me that Alissa was in the other room, waiting for me to come back, wrapped in my sheets. After all this time, it had finally happened, and it was fucking amazing. I wiped the grin off my face and took a deep breath, going back out into the bedroom. Alissa smiled at me as I climbed into the bed and pulled her onto my chest. She looked really beautiful laying there in the afternoon light, her hair a mess, a sweet grin on her face. I took in a deep breath and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, feeling her close to me. She snuggled in, and for a moment, everything felt perfect.
“Wow,” she said, giggling and rubbing my chest. “You are so… so… extensive.”
“Extensive?” I laughed loudly at her choice of words.
“Yes.” She laughed. “Like, you go the extra mile and make sure that everything is covered. You made me feel like I was the only woman in the world, and you were there to please me. It was pretty impressive.”
I chuckled. “I’m not really sure what to say to that. You were the only woman in the world during sex. You were the only one on my mind.”
“I mean, obviously, it wasn’t my first time.” She laughed. “But it was amazing. I’m even willing to go as far as saying it was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“No,” I scoffed. “Really?”
“Yes, really,” she said, pulling her head up and looking at me.
“Well, then I have my work cut out for me because that is not all I got.” I chuckled, leaning forward and kissing her lips. “I want to make you go crazy.”
“I like the sound of that,” she said, kissing me hard.
I felt really good about that, even though I knew that was incredibly macho and ridiculous of me. I’d never had a woman tell me that I was the best she ever had, but I’d never gotten any complaints before, either. I wasn’t really even thinking about what I was doing. I was just going with the motion of her body, the wavelengths of the tones coming from her throat, and the way her legs wrapped around me tightly whenever she came. She was definitely someone I could see doing this over and over again with, and even more than that, having a relationship with. But how did I tell her that?
She leaned up and kissed me again, her cheeks flushed and her hair wild. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to give this woman the world, and that was kind of scary and exciting at the same time. Even when I met Christina, I didn’t feel that way. At the time, I was young and really only thinking about one thing. Everything else just kind of happened organically as time passed. But with Alissa, I immediately wanted more from her.
I reached over and flipped on the television, turning the channels until I found an old black and white movie. I forgot that it was the middle of the day, and I wasn’t exactly looking to watch daytime soap operas. Actually, I wasn’t looking to watch anything, but I needed to drown out my own brain for a minute so I could think clearly. She snuggled closer to me and watched the movie, her eyes excited as the old-time lovers danced across the screen. Everything from back then seemed so much simpler, so much p
urer.
I glanced down at Alissa as she laid there bundled up in the blankets that we’d just put on the bed, staring out at the television surrounded by blank walls. The photographs we’d ordered wouldn’t be in for another week, so she put up all the cables they would hang from, and I told her that I would gladly install them. However, I had a feeling that if I had it my way, she would be around for that. It really came down to the fact that I wanted to be with her, to pursue an actual relationship with her. I couldn’t hold it back any longer. I just needed to tell her. I took in a deep breath and cleared my throat, turning the volume down on the television.
“Alissa,” I said, watching her look up at me and smile. “I want us to be together. I don’t want this to end with just sex. I want more.”
“I feel the same way,” she said, reaching up and kissing my lips. “I have felt that way for a little while now, but I was afraid that you didn’t feel the same. I’m relatively shy when it comes to men, and I wasn’t sure what you were looking for, after what you’ve been through.”
“It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt this way about someone,” I said, realizing I was just going to have to be honest. “It was no secret that I loved Christina very much and was completely blindsided by her choice to leave. Looking back at it, there were quite a few things, red flags, if you will, that I was willfully blind to during the end of our marriage. Either way, she really did a number on me.”