by Bella Jewel
He looks shocked for a second. “We’re bikers. Most young people run in the opposite direction when they see us.”
“I don’t believe that,” I say, focusing back on his hands flexing mine. “I’ve seen Sons of Anarchy. You guys are hot; I think you’d have heaps of fans chasing you.”
Mack snorts, Krypt laughs, and Tyke grunts.
“Trust me, we don’t.”
“More loss for them,” I say through gritted teeth, as Mack presses my knuckles.
“Not many girls would run up to a bunch of bikers on the street and thank them the way you did the other day. It’s impressive,” he goes on.
I look to Maddox, who is studying me. “He helped me; it’s called manners.”
“Definitely like this girl,” Santana says. “Can I keep her?”
I flush and look back to my hands.
“You go to college with Diesel?” Mack asks, moving to my other hand.
“Yep.”
“Like it?”
“Yeah, except for the ‘getting locked in the shed’ part.”
“Here,” Diesel says, coming back outside and thrusting a wash cloth at me. “Your makeup is all smudged.”
It’s only then I realize he isn’t dressed up.
“You didn’t dress up?” I ask, taking the soft cloth and wiping my face.
“Not my thing.”
I narrow my eyes. “Why not? You too cool?”
Mack snorts a laugh. Diesel glares at me.
“What?” I say. “It’s a valid question.”
“No, I just don’t like that shit.”
“You need to loosen up. Take a holiday, get a massage or something . . .” I point out.
Jaylah giggles. “It’s history repeating itself,” she says to Mack, and he flashes her a killer grin. Would Diesel look like that if he smiled?
“Dressing up like a zombie is for children,” he grunts at me.
“We really can’t be friends if you continue on like this,” I point out.
“Told you, got plenty of friends.”
“None as cool as me, buddy. None as cool as me.”
“Oh yes.” Ash laughs. “History definitely repeating itself.”
What are they talking about?
“No breaks, but you’ve got some serious swelling. Get the ice back on it. Diesel, clean her hands, make sure there’s no infection,” Mack says, letting my hand go.
“Thank you,” I say, standing.
“Not a problem.”
“Come on. We’ll do this inside and let them get back to it,” Diesel says.
“Yes, boss.” I turn and wave to everyone. “So nice to meet you all.”
“Come back and see us again!” Jaylah calls.
I smile, knowing that’ll never happen, and walk inside after Diesel.
He takes me to the sofa and we both sit down. Without warning, he takes my hand into his. God, I was wrong—his hands are way better than Mack’s. His are slightly rough on the ends, soft in the middle. Kind of like him, I’d imagine.
My heart flutters.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I think I might just like Diesel a little more than I’m willing to admit.
And that scares the crap out of me.
CHAPTER NINE
“You hit those walls hard,” Diesel says, pressing softly on the fleshy part of my knuckles that’s now swollen.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to be left there when everyone went home.”
“It was a pretty sick joke.”
I glance away. “Weak is what it is.”
“Just be careful, Killer,” he says, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard it. “Stoking the fire can make it worse.”
“You think I should run away scared?”
He looks to me. “No, but I think sometimes you gotta know when to shut your mouth.”
“Or maybe your girlfriend needs to learn she doesn’t rule and can’t bully people into doing what she wants. That shit doesn’t fly with me.”
His lips quirk again. God, the things I’d do to see him smile. “Maxine is a spoiled princess with both her parents on her side. She can do no wrong in their eyes. She rules the college because she can, because she has the power behind her to be able to. She’s also cruel and takes everything way too far.”
“Then why are you with her?”
He looks at my hands again. “It gives me something to do.”
I blink. “Are you serious?”
He shrugs and drops my hands. “You’re done.”
“No, seriously, are you joking?”
His grumpy look is back. “She’s good for my image. You do that shit when you’re trying to change your life.”
Change his life? What does he mean? Is it for his rock career that he thinks she’s beneficial to him. I wonder, if deep down, something inside Diesel believes he doesn’t deserve any better than her and that makes me sad.
“She’s not good for your image, Diesel. She’s a twat.”
His eyes dance with laughter, only for a split second, but it’s there.
“Do you know how to smile?” I ask.
“No reason to.”
My heart breaks. “That’s a damned shame.”
We both fall silent for a few minutes, neither of us looking at the other.
“Why do you want to change your life so desperately?” I finally ask. “You have a good family, you go to a good school—what could be so bad about it that you look the way you do all the time?”
“Maddox didn’t have a son, and being that I’m the eldest child in the family and Maddox’s nephew, they want me to take over the club.”
Oh. That is big but not big enough for him to feel so low. I won’t dig further just yet.
“Don’t you get a choice?” I ask, rolling with it.
He looks away. “The pressure is there, and it’s strong. I don’t have to do it but they’re not supporting anything else I do either. They’re making it hard for me to do anything but become president when Maddox steps down.”
“I didn’t realize Maddox and Mack were brothers.”
“Adopted brothers, but brothers all the same, making me the next in line.”
“What about Krypt? I saw he had a vice president patch. Does he have sons?”
“Yeah, twins, but at this stage the pick is me. They’re young, careless and not good for the position.”
“I’m sorry. That sucks you don’t feel you have your own choices.”
He turns and studies me. “You’re not like most girls, are you?”
I laugh softly. “No, I’m certainly not.”
We stare at each other a while, so much so I squirm.
I push to my feet quickly. “I should probably go.”
“Yeah,” Diesel mutters.
“I’ll call a cab if you like or—”
“I’m taking you home.”
“Right,” I say softly. “I’ll go and say goodbye.”
I hurry past him and to the back door, opening it and stepping out. Everyone stops talking and looks to me.
“I’m going to go, but I wanted to say thanks again for being so nice to me.”
“Don’t be a stranger, kid,” Mack says.
I force a smile. “I wish I could say I won’t be but . . . your son and I don’t really see eye to eye.”
Jaylah stands and walks over, hugging me. “Don’t you worry about my son; he’s soft on the inside, I swear it.”
I laugh and pull back. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Good to see you again, Mercedes,” Maddox says, winking at me.
“Call me Mercy, and yeah, you too, Maddox.”
“Later honey,” Santana says, her smile warm.
“Yeah, later pretty.” Ash grins.
“Bye Mercy!” Pippa calls.
“Later,” Tyke rumbles.
“Be good,” Krypt adds.
I laugh when they’re all done and wave again. “Later.”
I’m still smiling when I get inside. Di
esel sees it, and his eyes narrow.
“Ready?” I ask, my voice breathy.
“Yeah.”
I think I’m sinking myself further and further when it comes to Diesel.
Because damn, I really want to see his family again.
And him.
Mostly him.
~*~*~*~
“So do you have siblings?” I ask Diesel as we drive.
“Yeah, a brother. He isn’t much younger than me. Name’s Jack.”
“Is he an ass like you?”
He shoots me a look before glancing back at the road. “Stop bein’ a bitch.”
I snort. “You bring out the worst in me.”
“How do you figure that?”
“You’re always broody and grumpy, especially towards me. Tell me, what exactly did I do to make you hate me so much?”
He says nothing.
That kind of hurts, and not even I have a sassy response for it.
I turn and stare out the window, trying to hide the disappointment from my face. He pulls up at my apartment and I unclip my seatbelt, hurt and ashamed. He didn’t answer my question. Why? Is it because he hates me, and he’s trying to avoid telling me that? What did I do to him to make him dislike me so deeply? Yeah, I told him what I thought of him, but I didn’t think it would make him so awful to me.
“Thanks for helping me tonight,” I mutter to the door, taking the handle and pushing it open.
“Mercedes,” he says, his voice husky and low, unlike I’ve ever heard it.
“Later,” I whisper, climbing out.
I’m not halfway to the ground when his arm snakes around my waist and he hauls me back into the truck. He spins my body around and I go crashing into him, hands landing on his chest to brace. I open my mouth to protest but his comes crashing down over mine, hard and soft all at the same time. I gasp, and he takes the chance to slide his tongue into my mouth.
I can’t help it. I don’t even think I want to.
I kiss him back.
It’s better than the first kiss, so much better. His mouth his hot and hard, his kiss deep and lusty. Our lips crash together. One of his arms is curled around my waist, the other hand in my hair, and our tongues are dancing. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world, and it ends too soon when he pulls back, his brown eyes looking nearly black as they meet mine.
“I don’t hate you. I couldn’t hate you. I remember meeting you; I remember kissing you.”
That really shocks me. But more than that, it confuses me more.
“Then why the hell are you acting the way you do?” I whisper.
“Girls like you will never work with guys like me. I’m dark; it’s in my soul. You’re light; I saw it the first time I met you. You’re the kind of light that could fix my dark, but I can’t let that happen. I can’t take the chance that it might ruin you. The only asset I had to help keep away from you was to be a jerk, and it was working. If you hated me, I never had to wonder about what it would feel like to do what we’re doing right now.”
“Diesel . . .”
“You think you have what it takes to deal with someone like me, to live the life I live, but you have no idea. You compared my family to a fuckin’ TV show. You see what you want to see. You believe what you want to believe. The reality is that it’s very different to what you’re imagining.”
“You have no idea what I know,” I snap.
“You act tough, but deep down you’re not, Mercedes. You’re beautiful and pure and innocent.”
“Diesel, seriously, if you knew . . .”
He turns away. “You need to go.”
“Diesel just listen . . .”
“Mercedes, trust me when I say it’ll never work. Go.”
“But . . .”
“Fuck,” he growls, leaning in close, and smashing his lips against mine again. The kiss is hard and brief, but it has my heart racing. “Just go.”
I swallow, holding his eyes. He means it with everything inside of him. I can see it in his face, in his eyes. He truly wants me to go. He doesn’t want me in his life.
I turn and get out of the car.
My heart breaks with every step I take.
CHAPTER TEN
“Oh my God, are you okay? I was so worried. I heard what happened; I couldn’t get hold of you!” Taj cries the second I step through the front door.
“I’m all right, Taj. Diesel took me to get cleaned up.”
“Diesel?” he asks, skeptical.
“He was the only sober person there.” It’s a lie, considering I have no idea how many non-drinkers where there.
“Are you okay?”
I shrug. “I’ll get over it.”
“Mercedes . . .”
“I’m tired, okay? It’s been a long night. I just want to go to bed. I’ll talk later?”
He hesitates, but sighs and says, “Yeah, okay.”
I walk to my room and throw my purse down, fighting back the angry tears threatening to bubble forth. I’m between a rock and a hard place. Diesel thinks I know nothing about his life and so he’s trying to protect me from it. I could tell him I know everything about his life, but that’s opening a whole new can of worms. We’re from two different clubs, and while his club is equally as loving and loyal as mine, the fact is that they’re still different.
If he’s not talking about his club being the reason we can’t be together, then I don’t know what he’s referring to, and that bothers me more. Diesel is troubled; it’s written all over his face. Everything about him is dark and twisted, and the good in me so desperately wants to help him but if he won’t let me in, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. I can hardly force myself into his life if he doesn’t want me there.
A tear leaks down my cheek as I flop onto my bed, digging out my phone. I need to talk to someone, anyone. A nearby watcher returned my phone, thank god. I’d hate to think of Maxine putting her grotty fingers anywhere near it. I despise that girl more than I’ve ever despised anyone in my life. I’m usually a fun-loving, happy person, but she brings out the worst in me, and I don’t like it.
“Hey chicky!”
At the sound of Ava’s voice, mine breaks, and I croak, “Ava.”
“Merc, what’s wrong?”
“I, God, I don’t even know where to start.”
“Talk to me,” she urges, her voice soft. “What’s happening?”
“It’s Diesel.”
“What happened?”
“Things have been hard since I came here. I saw him, tried to talk to him, and he acted like a jerk. Then his girlfriend got involved and started picking on me. I wasn’t so worried about it, but after being pushed in that pool and then tonight . . .”
“What happened tonight?” she asks, cutting me off.
“She locked me in a shed.”
“Pardon me?” Her voice is angry. If the roles were reversed, I’d be pissed.
“She locked me in a shed, and I was there a while. I tried to get out, hurt my hands . . . Diesel finally got me free.”
“Diesel needs a bullet,” she scathes.
“No, his girlfriend does.”
“You’re right about that.”
“Ava, there’s more.”
“I’m listening.”
“Diesel helped me. I know,” I say, before she can cut me off again. “I know what you’re going to say, but he’s not a bad person. I know it doesn’t sound like I’m telling the truth, considering what I just told you, but he’s not, Ava. He’s a good guy—really troubled, but good. He helped me out in ways I can’t explain.”
“I’m still not convinced, but you’re a smart girl, so I’ll take your word for it.”
“Anyway, when he dropped me home, we kissed again. It was amazing. God, Ava, it was so real. Then he told me the reason he’s being a jerk is because he knows he can’t be good for me. He’s got too much dark. He meant it; I could see it in his eyes. He said being a jerk was the only way he could keep me away. I believe that, too. I
t was when he said a girl like me would never understand his life that things got so horribly real.”
“His life?” she asks. “What does that mean?”
“Ava, if I tell you something, will you swear it never gets shared?”
“Mercedes, you’re scaring me.”
“Please?” I beg.
“Of course. I’ll always keep your secrets.”
“He’s part of a biker club.”
She goes silent for so long I have to call her name.
“Pardon me?” she whispers.
“He’s the son of a member. I . . . I met is family.”
“Mercedes,” she warns. “This isn’t good. Did you tell them anything?”
“No of course not. They were so nice, Ava. Just like our family. They took great care of me. I just . . . if I tell him . . . if they find out . . . it’ll never work, will it?”
She sighs. “Honey, I’m hardly one to tell you strange relationships can’t work. Lucas is a cop, and somehow it worked, but this is different. This is another club. Clubs don’t mix. I can’t honestly tell you how this would fall. I think you need to be careful.”
Tears stream down my cheeks. “It’ll never get to that point anyway. He won’t take it there. He thinks I’m too sweet, too innocent. He has no idea, Ava. None. I understand him more than anybody else ever could.”
“The only way for him to know that would be to tell him.”
“Yeah,” I sob. “And if I tell him, it could also be the end before it begins.”
“You care about him, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I croak. “And I don’t even know why. He’s spent most of our time together being a complete pig. But I see it, Ava. I see what he thinks I don’t. He’s hurting, broken, lonely . . .”
“I can’t tell you how to take this, because either way you go, hurt is possibly in your future, but if you care about him that much, maybe you need to keep getting to know him, see what happens.”
“He won’t let that happen.”
“Mercedes, you’re the most beautiful, bubbly person I know. Your personality is addictive and so real. I don’t think he’ll fight it for long. Be who you are, give him everything you are—let the rest fall where it may.”
“And if for some remarkable miracle it goes further? What then?”