We sat there a while longer, troubleshooting my glorious plan for redemption. Things moved as though time had become fluid, strangely fast, yet slow. As part of her amazing idea to win Gwen over, she allowed me to bother the cook, even giving instructions on what to ask for. Once I packed the picnic, she let me use her cabin boy to take the food up. He proved to be every bit as nimble as the man I'd watched climbing the riggings earlier.
When everything was arranged to my satisfaction, the hard work began. None of my plans would work if she refused to come with me in the first place. This was where the good captain had been a little more uncertain. As she rightly pointed out, the romantic evening would only work if Gwen was willing to take a chance. That was when she’d left me on my own, slapping me on the back, and heading back to work.
After running through at least a dozen scenarios, I gave up and went to find Gwen. When I finally found her, she was relaxing below deck with her wolves. No one else was around, which suited my needs.
I was sure the guys were hanging out with the other crewmembers, learning, a variety of useful and-or dangerous skills. I cleared my throat at the doorway, and she looked up.
We locked eyes for a moment, but it wasn't an easy experience like it had always been before. We looked away at the same time, and I almost lost my nerve until I recalled what Captain Baeley told me.
I was a Librarian. A keeper of knowledge, an adventurer, explorer, and warrior. I was not willing to give up without a fight. I cleared my throat again, earning a perplexed frown. At least she was paying attention now, so I dove right in.
"Can you come with me for a minute? There's something I'd like to show you."
To my surprised ears, my voice sounded calm and collected, betraying none of my inner turmoil. I wondered what she saw as she searched my face. I wasn't sure she’d found the answer she was looking for but was relieved when she finally nodded.
"Okay. Can I bring the wolves?"
I looked at Swift, who almost seemed to be smiling. I felt strangely as though he was wishing me good luck. But surely, that was silly.
"Err, umm, you could… But I don't think they'll like where we're going. Perhaps leave them here for now?"
I had nothing against the wolves, but I was certain they wouldn't enjoy the crow's nest. I was also selfish enough to want her all to myself without a furry buffer. I didn't want her using them as a barrier between us. This was our chance to either make up or move on, depending how everything went. Oh, how I prayed we made up.
She said a quick goodbye to the wolves and followed silently behind me as I climbed the stairs onto the deck. She didn't speak until we got to the pole of the crow's nest, where I gestured for her to go first up the rope stairs on the mast.
"Are you serious?" The wide-eyed look of fear she gave me wasn’t a good start, but I pressed on.
"Captain Baeley showed me the crow's nest earlier. I thought maybe you’d enjoy it, since you live in a treehouse and all."
She looked dubious, but to my great relief, she took a deep breath and began to climb. I’d hoped to help her up at the top, but if she was scared enough of heights to lose her balance, I’d be able to help. It also ensured she didn’t change her mind without me knowing halfway up.
I reached the crow's nest a second behind her, holding my breath while I waited for her reaction. To my relief, it wasn’t anger. Her beautiful face held the same mixture of confusion and hope I was feeling inside, and it gave me the courage I needed.
"I've been trying to find an opportunity to talk with you, ever since you told me how you felt."
She flushed and looked away as if unable to meet my eyes.
I stepped closer, needing to reassure her I hadn’t found her touch abhorrent. I gently took her chin in my hand and steered her face back to mine, giving her plenty of room to pull away.
Her breathing sped up, as though she couldn't get enough air. I stepped closer, stopping just before our bodies were touching. Heat engulfed me, and I felt my face burn, starting at my throat, then traveling all the way to the tip of my ears. Words were now completely gone from my mind.
I took one more step, and we were touching.
Chest to chest, belly to belly.
My arms went around her the same instant hers came around me.
I fell into summertime.
The kiss stretched out, doing things to my soul I never expected to feel. The warmth had been unexpected, but as it blossomed into a raging fire, it sent shivers over my body. Now I was the one unable to catch my breath, enraptured by the magic spell she was weaving over every inch of my being.
The kiss deepened. Her heart thudded against mine, her raspy breathing brushed my face. Together, we sank to our knees. For all its intensity, the kiss was gentle, testing. Soft lips questing, searching for answers, and opening to let them in.
Entangled in each other, it wasn't until I found myself on the floor with the smell of grapes and bread in my nose reality slowly returned.
I pulled back reluctantly, gasping, heart fluttering as I looked into her eyes for several breathless moments. What had I done?
Her cheeks flushed, her hair beautifully askew, I watched nervously as she swallowed. It wasn’t until a crooked smile spread over her face, I allowed myself to hope.
She rolled onto her back and stretched her arms all the way to the side. "Now, that is what I call an apology." She burst into laughter, staring up at the clouds scuttling by in the rapidly darkening sky.
I rolled onto my elbow to watch her, resting my face on my hand. Her chest rose slower now, and I waited until she looked at me again.
"I meant to actually apologize." I dropped my hand flat against the wood, shaking my head as I searched for words. "Don’t misunderstand, the kiss was absolutely amazing, but it wasn't supposed to be my apology. I wasn't even sure you’d come up here with me, after how you’ve been avoiding me since I screwed up. I meant to apologize with words, to show you how much you mean to me. See, I even packed a picnic."
I gestured at the food, some of which had been knocked aside during our embrace.
She rolled her head to the side to gaze at me, smiling the way she used to, her eyes crinkling at the corners the way I loved.
"True, but I'm different from you. I'm sure your apology would've been amazing, but this," she gestured at the food as she looked at me. "I'm not complex the way you are. Words aren't the most important things. Maybe because my best friends are wolves, emotions and actions speak loudest to me. You could've apologized until the sun came up tomorrow and I might not have believed you. But when you came to me, crowded me," her eyelashes fluttered, giving her eyes a hooded, mysterious look as her gaze warmed me, "the way you kissed me. All of that shows me how you feel more than a simple verbal apology ever could."
I exhaled and slid closer, tucking my head into her shoulder. Her arm wrapped around me easily, like I was meant to be there. Joy filled me as we lay silently for a few minutes. I enjoyed feeling her heartbeat, the soft rise and fall of her chest beside me. The heat of attraction was there, but tucked away now, to be acted upon later. I didn't want to rush anything, for her or myself.
It was all so new.
"I've never felt like this for anyone." I turned my head slightly, meeting her eyes.
She pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I know now. I'm sorry I overreacted. It was hard to tell you how I felt … well, you know. Words aren't my strong suit. Neither are social interactions with anyone other than my wolves. I've had a crush on you for a long time, but I'd always thought it was a silly fancy. Me, a wolf-walker basically shunned by all Elven kind, and you, the gorgeous, smart scholar from the castle. What chance did I have? I had no reason to think you returned my affection and planned never to tell you. When you came to me with the request to help you on a crazy quest to stop Dag’draath and the complete devastation of our world, how could I say no?"
She shrugged, her words matter of fact and heartbreaking in their raw honesty.
I a
llowed myself to caress her cheek as I looked into her marvelous eyes.
"I had no idea. When you told me in the tavern, I wasn't trying to reject you, I'd just never considered it. Not the part where you had feelings for me, when you're the one who’s amazing, certainly not my own feelings. As Will has so helpfully pointed out more than once since you ran off, I'm not exactly good with social interactions either."
She pressed her chin into my hand, and I marveled at the softness of her skin.
"Don't cut yourself down," she admonished softly, pressing a kiss into my palm, and placing it on her heart. "You’ve been nothing but inspiring this whole trip. I was worried about your abilities to travel, to be perfectly honest, but every step of our trip you’ve shown me you are so much more than a mere scholar.
"I've watched you fight, pick up new skills like fire building, hunting, and constructing a shelter. Maybe not with ease, exactly," she teased, her eyes twinkling, "but with effort and hard work which have impressed me. As for social interactions, well, pot calling the kettle black. Maybe if I'd been better at expressing my emotions and words, I wouldn't have run off looking for a fight at the merest hint of rejection."
"We were both to blame for our miscommunication. Can you promise to let me know if I ever do something that upsets you? I never want to hurt you. You're my best friend." I blushed, placing the tip of my tongue in my cheek as I tried to think what I was supposed to call her now, to call this unexpected fire.
Her eyes followed my gesture, darkening, and I felt an answering pulse of heat low in my belly. As though caught in a web she’d cast, my lips sought hers again.
I wasn't sure how long we’d spent wrapped up together, only that every inch of my body felt alive in a way it had never felt before. I was filled with energy. In the moment, I could do anything. I could climb every mountain, fight every ur’gel I came across. Being with her as a friend, companion, and now as a lover filled me with a power I'd never expected to feel, and never wanted to let go of.
When we reluctantly pulled apart later, smoothing back each other's hair, placing soft kisses and tender touches on arms and faces, when my heartbeat had finally settled to more normal rhythms, she answered a question I hadn't had a chance to ask before I'd become distracted.
"It may be far too soon to call it this, but I want you to know I consider you to be more than a friend or lover. From the moment I met you, your being sang to my soul. I may not be good with my words, but one thing I do know is the shape of someone on the inside. I know I haven't told you much about my dreams, but sometimes, I see things." She hesitated, her eyes wide with anxiety and I leaned closer, taking her hand, and giving it a soft squeeze of encouragement.
She exhaled shakily before continuing. "I've seen us together there, in my dreams. I felt the rightness. But it's more than I can express."
I understood what she was trying to say, even though it didn't make sense. "We're meant to be together."
A smile crept across her face. "Yes. I see a lot of terrible things, and lately they’ve been getting worse, but the one thing always buoying me and giving me hope is what I see for us. It might sound strange, especially because we didn't know each other very well prior to our journey, but I think you're my soulmate."
A rush of joy filled me, brighter and more glorious even than what her touch had stirred. "I was looking for a word for this. Soulmate." Peace followed on the heels of the joy.
"My friend, partner, soulmate."
Chapter 11
After our crow's nest date, things returned to normal between us. Well, not normal—better. It was the happiest I'd ever been. When we returned to the bunk room much later, we wished each other good night at the door, sharing one last kiss before reluctantly parting and entering. We still had to share the bunk room with the guys, and neither of us was ready to take our relationship further. Not yet, at least.
It was late, but neither of them was asleep when we walked in. The look on their faces made it clear they knew we’d quite literally kissed and made up, but they didn’t question us, for which I’d been grateful. I wasn’t ready to talk about it with anyone yet. With all the emotional turmoil of the past few days resolved, I had the best sleep of my life.
When I jolted awake by almost falling out of my birth at the sudden turbulence, I was immediately alert. It was a particularly rude awakening, as I’d been dreaming about my date and reliving the moment we’d made up. It took a moment to remember where I was as I looked around, but once I was reoriented, I thought It sounded like the roof was caving in. Inside the bunk room, everything appeared normal, except all our belongings were on the floor, as was Sel. Apparently, the same thud which had woken me had thrown him completely out of bed.
"What’s going on?" Gwen looked around fearfully through sleepy eyes.
It was easy to see she still hadn’t completely gotten over her fear of flying. The turbulence restored the same pinched, white face she’d worn the first time we’d boarded. The wolves were awake as well and moving restlessly on the floor beside her.
It appeared we’d all been woken in the same way. The only one who appeared unperturbed was Will, although at the next large jolt, even he had a tough time hiding his surprise.
I got off my bunk, wobbling against the ongoing lurching of the ship around and beneath me, and carefully made my way to the door. When I pulled it open, the wind almost took my breath away. I immediately changed direction and struggled against the gale force wind outside to push it shut. I turned to rest my back against it, breathing hard from the effort as I looked at the others.
"It's super windy out there. I think we’re flying through a storm."
Will shook his head, getting off his bed and coming toward me in a strange crab-like and similarly cautious fashion. "No, this is the reason Captain Baeley didn't want to take us all the way to the Northwestern Lands. I know she told us the ship won't work because of the magic, but she may have left out the part about the winds."
I looked at him, aghast, vaguely hearing Sel’s groans in the background as he got off the floor. "Winds? What winds? I didn't read about them, and she never mentioned anything."
I narrowed my eyes as I thought back over what I’d read about the land we were heading to. Nope, nothing about winds.
"She told me the other day. I'm not sure where you were." He gave me a look, slyly moving his gaze to Gwen, smirking, then returning to the conversation. "Which is neither here nor there. Apparently, the last mountain range before the Dragon Dominion ends and the Northwestern Lands begins is horrible. No one goes there. Any ship that tries is wrecked or has pieces blown clear off. Basically, it's not something any sane captain is willing to attempt."
He gave me a pointed look, raising his eyebrows. "The only reason Captain Baeley took us this far is because she believes in the mission of a Librarian. You must have made quite an impression on her, Princess. I don't think any other pilot would've taken us even this far."
Had I somehow convinced her to do something dangerous in ways I hadn't anticipated? I remembered the story about the other airship crash she’d told us about and shuddered. I hadn’t thought I was doing anything wrong, but with the ship lurching in loud and increasingly horrible ways, my gut clenched with a combination of guilt and fear.
"What should we do?"
"I think we should stay here, out of the way until we hear otherwise. We don’t want to get in the way of people doing the work to keep us alive, or chance being blown overboard by a rogue gust."
"Sounds like a wise plan to me,” Gwen agreed quickly. “Until further notice, I'm going to spend all my time here, in the bunk room. Call me if you need anything." Her words were glib, but her wide eyes gave her away.
I pressed my lips together as I debated my options. On the one hand, staying below deck sounded like a good idea. But on the other, I needed to know what was happening above deck. I made up my mind. Turning to Will, I knew what I was going to say wasn't going to go over well.
"I
want to find her. I need to ask what's going to happen next, but I promise I'll come right back." I bit the inside of my cheek as I waited for their response. As I’d expected, I didn't have to wait long.
"Are you crazy?" He looked at me as if I had sprouted a second head. "No offense, but you aren't exactly what I’d consider the nimblest of people. Of all of us, you're the one I most worry would get blown overboard."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
I did my best to keep my voice even and patient, although I had a sudden intense longing to punch him for the way he was looking down his nose at me.
"Either way, in order to know where to head after we land, I need a better sense of the terrain where we are now. If the winds are as bad as you say, I imagine she’s going to want to land at the bottom of the mountain as soon as possible. "
His eyebrows dropped. "True, okay, fine. But I'm coming with you if you’re going. Is there a rope in here?"
We all looked, but it was Sel, who found it, thanks to his position on the floor a moment earlier, pulled out a large spool of heavy rope underneath the bunk he'd been sleeping in.
"Perfect. Rhin come here. I'm going to tie it around your waist and attach you to me the same way."
I wrinkled my nose, looking dubiously from him to the rope and back.
He rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, I'll give you plenty of lead. At least this way if one of us gets blown over, the other should be able to pull the castaway back. It's as much for my protection as yours," he assured me, although I could tell from his eyes, he was worried about me.
It was interesting how the longer I spent with him, how his hidden qualities became more apparent. It did help explain how someone as cocky as Will could have a friend as studious as Jarid. The thought crossed my mind that maybe he put out his own version of a façade for society, the same way I did.
Realizing he was waiting for a reply, I shook my head and agreed. "Okay, fine. But be quick. I have a feeling the good captain is going to be busy. The sooner we get out of her way, the happier she'll be."
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