Reckless and Wild: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Port James Series Book 1)

by Alyssa Coolen

I allowed a small smile to grace my lips. “Beers and fish tacos at The Pelican?”

  Logan flashed a beautiful, megawatt grin and leaned down, pressing a soft open mouthed kiss to my lips. “My kinda woman.”

  THAT NIGHT I lay in Logan’s bed- he was adamant about sleeping on the couch and letting me take his room- and stared up at the ceiling. His bed was comfier than mine, a king rather than a queen, and it left plenty of room for me to stretch my legs across the soft sheets. It all smelled like him and as soon as we said our goodnights I was burying my face in his pillows like a lovesick teenager.

  Is that what I was? A lovesick teenager? Having never experienced that when I was an actual teen I had no clue, but I knew that I felt warm. Warm in a way that I’d never be able to describe to anyone without sounding like a complete basketcase. It was like I could feel everything all at once; the fear of getting hurt to the ache of wanting to touch him to the giddiness that went through me knowing he was protecting me. Logan was twisting me up and turning me inside out but I was there for it, along for the ride because what other option did I have?

  There was something within me that was changing and unlocking, and I had the terrifying thought that it was all because of Logan. Because whatever was unlocking and trying to break free wouldn’t just shatter me, it would shatter him, too.

  Chapter 9

  F our days later, I was still spending my nights in Logan’s bed. I’d go to work, come home from work, get whatever I needed from my place and then rush over to his for dinner. I hated to admit it, but I was getting comfortable at his place. I knew my way around the kitchen and had showered multiple times in the master bathroom that was decked out with a glass enclosed shower and a decent sized bathtub. We worked around each other in the mornings and I’d make the coffee while he buttered the toast, lifting his arms whenever I needed to move past him or squeezing my ass as I stretched up to get the coffee mugs.

  Even Sadie seemed settled with Mac. Her dog bed was next to his and I’d even seen her resting her head on Logan’s knee while he scratched the top of her head. She’d taken a liking to him when I never thought she would, and I had a feeling the thought was mutual. Mac, however, was rambunctious and wild, slamming his body into the book shelves and trying to steal bacon off Logan’s plate.

  There had been no more kissing, something that I was both happy and disappointed about. I thought about his lips on mine all day and the way he gently cupped my cheeks and looked into my eyes. Logan was the most intense person I’d ever known and I had a feeling that it would drown me. But, man, what a way to go, right?

  But kissing him, dating him, falling for him would be a terrible idea. We needed to be smart, responsible adults and conduct ourselves as such. Which is what I kept telling myself as I sat on the couch and watched the news as he entered the living room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

  I tried to focus on the tv and my hand was gripping my water bottle so tight it made a crackling noise. His blonde hair was wet and shoved back, scruff coating his chin and cheeks as droplets of water dotted his collarbones and rivulets ran down his chest.

  “Hey, have you seen the jeans I was wearing earlier?”

  “Laundry room,” I said and pointed to the small, closet sized room off the kitchen. My eyes stayed glue to the tv and I could hear the smile in Logan’s voice as he spoke.

  “You seem really into the commercials. Am I making you uncomfortable?”

  “Nope. Why would you make me uncomfortable?”

  “Because I’m pretty much naked and you have a blush that’s going down your shirt.”

  I felt my cheeks- the traitors- heat even more and shrunk down lower into the couch cushions before shooting a glare in his direction.

  The smirk that rested on his face was one of pure, male satisfaction and a feeling settled low in my belly. He disappeared into the small room and reappeared a minute later, looking down as he buttoned and zipped his jeans. I couldn’t help but notice that he wasn’t wearing boxers and my thighs clenched. Totally commando.

  “I’m so fucked,” I whispered to myself and shook my head.

  “What was that?” Logan asked with the ghost of a smile.

  I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but I was sure that he couldn’t have heard me from across the room.

  “I asked you if you were going out.” I lied.

  “We’re going out. My brother’s having a thing over at his place tonight and he invited us. It’ll be fun. You do know what fun is, don’t you?”

  I made a face at him and sat up, looking down at my baggy sweatpants and tshirt. “What am I supposed to wear? I need to go home and get stuff.”

  I also wanted to bail, but I wasn’t going to say that. Meeting his siblings seemed like a big deal, although, technically, I already met Abby. Would they think we were dating or would they assume I’m just his flavor of the week? Did anyone even say flavor of the week anymore? Questions were flying through my head one after the other, but all I really wanted to ask was if it was a date. I hadn’t been on one of those in so long I couldn’t even remember what it felt like to get ready for a night out.

  “You’ll look great in whatever you wear,” he said and walked a little closer, reaching out and sliding his fingers down my arm. “I’ll come and get you soon.”

  He helped me into my jacket and I slipped my boots on. I was opening the door when Logan placed his palm against it, effectively keeping it closed. I turned to give him a questioning look when he leaned down, his nose brushing mine. “And Juliette?”

  “Yes?”

  “You’re right, you’re so fucked.”

  FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER, I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup when there was a knock at the door. I gave myself a once over in the full length mirror that hung on the wall in my room. I’d finally decided on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and black leather boots that ended just above my knee, a slight heel to give me some height. I wore a light gray cashmere sweater and wore my red hair in a messy bun. Trying to keep the makeup simple, I’d only used some blush, mascara and a light pink lip.

  I felt feminine. Sexy. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

  It felt good to be going out and having fun, though completely different from my normal routine. I was going to be social, have a few drinks. Had I done that in the last three years? The fact that I couldn’t remember should have scared me, but more than that it was saddening. What kind of life was I living where all I did was work and stay inside with my dog? That couldn’t even be considered a life. It was just… surviving. Getting through the day. There was never any adventure and never anything exciting. No spontaneity. It was simply a means to an end. Why I deprived myself of fun, human interactions, I had no clue. But I was determined to stop that starting tonight. Even though I was so nervous my stomach was cramping and I kept asking what if’s in the back of my mind.

  You’re going to be fine. You are Juliette Foster, dammit.

  I smiled at my reflection before carefully stepping down the stairs and opening the door, where Logan went to say hello and instead looked me up and down. He gave a low, appreciative whistle and then nodded his head, laughing when I blushed.

  “Fuck, you look beautiful. Those boots… those boots are giving me ideas.” He followed me into the house as I went to turn off the lights.

  I wanted to ask him what kind of ideas he had, but I had a feeling I knew. I looked down at the boots for a second and had to agree that our thoughts were probably very similar.

  Logan looked almost too good in his dark jeans and dark gray henley. The material stretched tight over his shoulders and across his chest. His hair was unruly as always, but he looked good.

  “You look very handsome,” I said quietly as I pulled my jacket on.

  He took a step forward and wrapped an arm around my waist, tugging me against him with little to no effort. “You look fucking edible.”

  I laughed and shook my head, feeling light and flirty as he stroked one han
d up my back and pushed a wayward strand of hair behind my ear with the other. He was wearing cologne, something subtle and masculine that had me leaning into him a little more, my hands gripping his arms firmly.

  “Behave. We’re going to see your family.”

  He arched a brow and leaned from one side to the other, pulling me with him. It was almost like we were dancing, standing there rocking back and forth. “If I behave at dinner does that mean I can misbehave after?”

  His words were playful, but I knew he wanted an answer to a question we’d been tiptoeing around for the last five days. There was something about Logan that drew me in. It was a strong pull that left me waiting and wanting. We’d be crossing a serious, severe line if we slept together and I didn’t want it to mean more to one of us than the other, although I already had a feeling that would be the case. I was catching serious feelings for this man. Did Logan feel the same way, or was it just about the chase?

  “I’ll let you know,” I responded playfully because, truthfully, I didn’t have a definitive answer to give him.

  The drive to his brother’s house was short. Robbie lived right on the water with a beautiful private beach that seemed to stretch on for miles. There was a winding path that would lead me into the sand dunes and the house looked warm and inviting. Old, wooden shingles and a beautiful front porch that Sadie would have loved to lay out on in the summer. If I thought it looked so beautiful in the dead of winter, I could only imagine how breathtaking it was in August.

  Robbie, Logan’s older brother, was a phenomenal host. His hair was darker than both Logan and Abby and he wore it wrapped up in an elastic. Normally, I wouldn’t be attracted to man buns and long hair, but I had to admit that Robbie had a sort of Khal Drogo look to him, minus the scowl but much friendlier, and not quite as good looking as Jason Mamoa.

  Who was as good looking as Jason Mamoa? No one.

  Anyway, I quickly came to the conclusion that everyone in the Ashford family had been blessed with good genes, both physically and otherwise. Abby was sweet and funny and could throw back wine like a champion while Robbie was polite and gentlemanly. He gave off the aura that he was an alpha, and I couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were glued to Abby’s friend, Simone. I couldn’t blame him. She was stunning and exotic looking, the kind of person who looks like they breathe sunshine wherever they go.

  “And then Logan says, ‘I left the meth in the car’.” Abby sobbed with laughter and everyone else broke into a fit of hysterics around the table, including myself.

  Logan laughed, too, and shook his head before trying to defend himself. “She wouldn’t back off! She called you fat!” he responded, which only caused everyone to laugh even more.

  I learned a lot about Logan. I learned that he broke his arm when he was twelve and then his leg three months after that. He got busted for drinking his dad’s scotch when he was fifteen and puked on the floor in the living room. He and Knox had a strong distaste for each other when Abby left, but had since come to terms with their issues and pushed them aside for her sake. Just looking at the way they were talking at the table, I never would have assumed that they used to hate each other.

  Logan was sweet. He was protective and generous and didn’t love anyone or anything more than his siblings. I was getting the vibe that he and Robbie sort of raised Abby based off of the comments that he made about their mother and the face Robbie made at the mention of their dad. There was an animosity there, I could feel it. Especially since I knew what it was like to be disappointed by the people who gave me life.

  “So, you got a criminal record?” Knox asked me from across the table. He had an arm draped around Abby’s shoulders and she was snuggled into his side.

  Confused, I shook my head. “No. Why do you ask?”

  He pointed at Logan. “Hang around with him and you’ll have one soon enough.”

  Logan flipped him off and laughed, chugging back the rest of his beer. “Watch it, Fitz. The only reason you’re here right now is because I’m allowing it.”

  “Right, Lo. You’re the big man on campus.” Abby snorted before turning towards me. “He’s very protective, but I have a feeling you already know that.”

  Logan’s thigh pressed against mine under the table and I smiled. “I’d say he’s a little overprotective.”

  “True. But he only does it because he cares. Trust me.”

  She met my eyes across the table and I saw something there. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt a kinship to Logan’s sister. I had a feeling she knew all about the inner turmoil I was facing. I didn’t have to try to explain myself, Abby just understood.

  We talked and laughed over lasagna, wine and the most delicious french bread I’d ever eaten in my life. It was light, fluffy, and I was eating way too much of it, but I didn’t care. I was genuinely, honestly having the time of my life just letting loose and blowing off steam in a healthy way. I forgot how good it felt to interact with people, to be social and form bonds. It was exhilarating.

  “Cake!” Simone said after Knox took the last bite of his food. He was still chewing and gave her a wide eyed look before shaking his head.

  “Come on, it’s chocolate. You’re favorite,” Abby said and then leaned a little closer, whispering something in his ear that had him smirking and giving her a heavy lidded expression that was filled with so much heat I had to fight the urge to fan myself.

  “What about you, J? Hungry for more?” Logan asked, his arm draped over the back of my chair and his fingers stroking my clothed shoulder.

  It was a loaded question, that I knew. There was a dark, lustful look in his eyes and the usual smirk had been replaced by something else. Something serious. He was asking if I wanted more of him and the obvious answer was yes. Yes, I wanted to wrap myself around him and breathe him in while he pushed himself inside me. Yes, I wanted to hear the way he whispered my name when he came and yes, I desperately wanted to wrap my mouth around his cock.

  I also wanted to keep my guard up. I didn’t want to risk being hurt or disappointed because I was sure, so sure, that there was no way he was feeling the same way I was. The physical attraction was there and it was electric, pulsing between the two of us. But is that all it was? A physical attraction? There was a very good chance that I was reading too much into it and I wished there was some way I could stop myself. Truthfully, I was beginning to detest my own wishy washy behavior.

  “I’d love a piece of cake,” I said finally, meeting his eyes.

  We all moved into the living room where Knox sat on a plush loveseat with Abby on his lap while I sat back against the cushions of the couch, Logan sitting on the arm closest to me with a beer in his hand. Everyone made small talk, but I constantly found myself drawn to Robbie and Simone, who seemed to remain quiet for a good portion of the conversation.

  I watched as her eyes kept flicking up to his every few minutes. She sat cross legged on the floor- she insisted she was most comfortable there and seeing how she was such a relaxed free spirit, I believed her- but she wasn’t focused on the conversation. It seemed that he wasn’t either. He was either in a daze or purposefully not making eye contact with the beautiful woman that sat at his feet. There was something between them, but as much as I wanted to know what it was, I was smart enough to know that it wasn’t my place.

  “So, Logan tells me you work with animals. Are you a vet?”

  “Not exactly,” I said and then launched into the details of my job. Everyone actually seemed interested in what I did for a living and it was nice. I didn’t feel like I was boring anyone.

  It was a foreign feeling.

  The night flew by and I didn’t realize how late it was as Knox announced he had to get Abby home. She was hanging onto him and wrapped around him like a monkey, her ankles locked at the small of his back. She was clearly drunk, but not in a sloppy way. She was giggly and fun, someone that I could actually see myself becoming friends with.

  “Yeah, it’s pretty late,” Logan agreed.
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  Simone had disappeared a while ago, claiming that she had a stomach ache. I could see a pained expression on her face as she walked out the door and the stoic look on Robbie’s face as he watched her go.

  “Thank you so much for inviting me over,” I said politely to the oldest of the three siblings.

  Robbie leaned down and gave me a peck on the cheek before wrapping me in a one armed hug. “You’re welcome to come back anytime. It seems like you’re keeping my brother in check. He needs someone like that.”

  Logan flipped him off before leaning in so they could do that weird, handshake turned hug thing that guys always do. After we bid farewell, the both of us headed toward his car. He surprised me by opening my door and closing it after I was seated and during the ride home he hummed along quietly to an old Tom Waits song. The heat was blasting and the air outside was frigid, but it was okay. It was peaceful. Warm in that way that I just couldn’t seem to describe.

  As we walked along the dock back to Logan’s, I couldn’t help but want to fight to keep that feeling. That warmth. I couldn’t risk losing it again because, dammit, it had been so long since I felt so alive.

  “Kiss me again.”

  He turned to look at me and a tick appeared in his jaw. “J…”

  I took a step closer to him and slid my hands up his chest, pushing his jacket open. “I want you to kiss me again. You asked me if you could misbehave after dinner. Do it, Logan. Do. It.”

  That was all it took and then Logan was pulling me against him, his control snapping in an instant. His mouth ate at mine hungrily, all lips and teeth and tongue. Eagerly, he sucked my tongue into his mouth, not stopping until I was moaning and pushing my hands against his chest.

  It was hot. Heavy. The most erotic thing to ever happen to me and we hadn’t even slept together yet. He was going to destroy my body and I would gladly let him. I was Logan’s for the taking and my willingness to submit caught me by surprise.

  “You’re sure?” he said with his lips against mine. He was breathing heavily, panting, and I was dizzy with need.