Reckless and Wild: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Port James Series Book 1)

by Alyssa Coolen

  “Hi,” I said quietly, thinking that he wasn’t exactly telling me the truth when he said it was a pleasure. This was painful- or, painfully awkward- for everyone.

  Robert was about to open his mouth to say something again when Abby flew into the room, anger written all over her face. “What the hell? Why were you on the news, Logan? How do you even know that girl?”

  He was about to respond when a voice spoke from behind us, coming from the direction of the kitchen. “Because he’s probably doing drugs with her. Don’t ask stupid questions, Abbigail.”

  I turned, hating the cold tone of voice. I could only assume the woman was Logan’s mother because of her blonde hair and brown eyes. She was small with a glass of red wine perched in her hand. There wasn’t a hair out of place as Genevieve Ashford floated into the room wearing what had to be a three thousand dollar pair of jeans and cashmere sweater, looking every bit the charity running, foundation hosting, social butterfly that she was.

  “Abbigail is actually quite smart, contrary to what you believe. She even has her own opinions. Shocking isn’t it, mother?”

  Logan didn’t even care that his mother was blatantly accusing him of being a drug addict. He cared about defending his sister. There was clearly a mutual dislike between him and his mother based on the disdain on her face as she looked at him. I was immediately on edge, not liking the fact that we’d just, essentially, walked into a trap.

  I watched as the woman rolled her eyes before focusing on me. “Are you a new friend?”

  My shoulders straightened and I tried to meet her eye but couldn’t seem to hold her gaze and stared at the ground instead. “I’m Juliette Foster,” I said to my shoes.

  I heard her hollow laugh and inwardly flinched, hating the tension that surrounded us. “She seems very different from your usual taste, Logan.”

  “Stop it. It’s not like that.”

  “No?” Genevieve asked and took a step forward. “What is it like then? Because as far as I know she’s some fun new toy for you until they find that junkie girl that we saw on the news. Honestly, Logan, what were you thinking? Getting tangled up in that sort of trouble makes this family look terrible.”

  I glanced over at him and his jaw was clenched so hard I feared he’d break a tooth. There was color in his cheeks and I was sure there was color in mine as well. I didn’t like being referred to as a fun new toy. Logan was right, what we had wasn’t like that. I didn’t exactly know what it was like, didn’t have a label or a word for it. But whatever it was wasn’t just fun. It was real.

  “Right,” he finally said after a moment. “Because of course you care more about our family image than our actual family.”

  “Logan,” Robert’s voice was low, stern, and held a warning that his son better bite his tongue before it was too late.

  I wanted to reach out and touch Logan, but something was holding me back. Was that too intimate a gesture in front of his family? We were surrounded by his parents and Abby, and I felt even more cornered when Robbie and Knox entered the room. We were cornered in the foyer, barely inside the house and they were on him like white on rice.

  I’d never be in the Ashford shoes. I’d never truly know their dynamic or where they stood with one another. But more than anger, more than family image, shouldn’t his mother show some concern or some compassion that her son is out there trying to do something good? I was clearly biased due to the fact that I was sleeping with, and apparently falling madly in love with, Logan. But all I saw in Genevieve’s eyes was judgment. Cold, hard, judgment. Robert had a look of dismay and seemed to be at a loss while his siblings stood off to the side, frowning.

  All at once, I felt some semblance of what it must feel like to be the black sheep of the family. Isolated and scrutinized. Completely misunderstood by the people who are supposed to know you better than anyone. Granted, Logan partially did it to himself by keeping secrets and disappearing for days on end. But it was clear this whole thing started long before he was an adult. Logan didn’t just keep secrets for the sake of keeping them, it was that he didn’t know how to tell them. He didn’t know how to be honest with his parents because he spent so long keeping them in the dark. They never taught him about communication and the realization broke my heart.

  I’d never be certain, but I had a distinct feeling that if he’d known how to have healthy communication with his folks, Logan would have told them the truth about his profession, and his RA, a long time ago.

  “You look sick.” Robbie jerked his chin toward Logan. “You good?”

  I saw the hesitation on his face and ached to reach out and touch him, place my hand in his and give a reassuring squeeze. But, eventually, his mouth pulled into a thin line and he ran a hand through his hair. “No, I’m not.”

  I held my breath as I waited for him to continue. He looked around at his family with a guarded expression on his face. Genevieve arched a brow and took a sip of wine while his father cleared his throat and looked at us expectantly.

  “The reason I haven’t been around much is because…” he trailed off and huffed out a breath before rolling his shoulders and clearing his throat. He looked as though he was going to be sick. “I’m sick. I have rheumatoid arthritis.”

  The room was so silent that I could have heard a pin drop. Everyone was looking at him, waiting for him to continue, but Logan simply shrugged and said nothing else. He was waiting patiently for everyone to throw questions at him, knowing that they would.

  Abby stepped forward and twisted the bracelet that was looped around her wrist. “What? How? Lo, why wouldn’t you tell us?”

  He held up a hand and then smiled at her. “So many questions, kid.”

  She glared at him with tears stinging her eyes. “It’s not funny.”

  “No, it’s not,” he agreed. “I found out last year and I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t need everyone worrying about me. I didn’t need certain people,” he eyeballed his mom. “Up my ass and babysitting me. I’ve been doing just fine on my own.”

  Robbie ran his fingers through his hair and then tugged the thick locks up into a messy knot. “It’s serious though, right?”

  “Yeah. It’s serious and it’s painful, and I didn’t want any of you to worry. I- I know I should have said something sooner but, Abby, you were dealing with the attack and coming home and Robbie was dealing with shit with dad-”

  “I beg your pardon, son, I have been nothing but supportive of your brother-”

  “Please,” Logan cut him off and fixed him with a glare. “You’ve done nothing but harass Robbie for not being just like you. I’ve been running around throwing rich girls into rehab and he has done nothing but make a good life for himself and try to make you proud. You treat him like he’s a fuck up, but guess what, old man? It’s not Robbie who’s the fuck up. It’s me. Which,” he turned and faced his mother, wagging a finger at her. “I’m sure makes you very happy. You were finally right about one thing, mom. I’m a secretive, pot smoking, lowlife.”

  Her shoulders straightened. “I never thought you were a lowlife.”

  “No, you just thought I was a junkie.”

  Genevieve gasped as though he’d said the most foul word in the book. Her cheeks were red and I couldn’t tell if it was because of the wine or the tension in the room, but it was obvious that she wasn’t happy with the turn of events.

  “Did you know about this?” Abby asked quietly and I turned, seeing that she was looking at me.

  “Yes,” I said quietly.

  I hated the anger I saw in her eyes. “You knew I was worried about Logan and you never told me.”

  “Abby, it wasn’t my place.”

  She was about to say something else, but Knox grabbed her by the elbow and Logan stepped in front of me. “None of this is her fault,” he said firmly. “I didn’t even want to tell Juliette what was going on, but she forced it out of me. I told her I was going to tell everyone and now I am, but don’t you dare get mad at her. She kept my secr
et because I asked her to.”

  Abby didn’t look happy, but the answer sufficed as she leaned into Knox’s side and let him wrap an arm around her shoulders.

  “What is this about putting rich girls in rehab? Logan, what do you do for a living?”

  “Well, I don’t deal drugs like you and mom think I do. Hell, I’d probably make more doing that,” he laughed, but the sound was humorless. He delved into his next explanation and his parents looked on with rapt attention as he told them about his high profile clientele, his mother huffing and guffawing about the fact that he wasn’t being paid enough, or that it wasn’t a respectable enough profession for an Ashford.

  My mind was blown. Logan was finally being honest and spilling his guts, but all Genevieve did was pick him apart and try to tear him down. It made zero sense and it made me wonder if my own mother, had she stuck around, would have been the same way. Constantly negative and drinking too much. Not loving or accepting me for the person I was.

  Standing in that cold foyer, I was quite thankful that I had Gran all those years. She may have been a hard ass, but she was the most supportive, loving woman in the world.

  I risked a glance toward his siblings and saw that Abby was still leaning into Knox, who was murmuring something in her ear and rubbing slow circles between her shoulders. She was staring down at the ground and the sadness on her face killed me. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d probably ruined a good chance at a solid friendship with someone, and the thought was nearly all consuming. I didn’t want to be friendless and alone anymore, I wanted to hold tight to the changes that were happening in my life.

  But it was Robbie’s expression that really got me. He had a guard up as he watched his younger brother explain himself. His face was expressionless and was nearly identical to their father. I couldn’t tell if he was proud, angry, disappointed. It was like there was nothing there, but then I saw his hands clench into fists as he took a step forward and I, reflexively, put a hand on Logan’s arm.

  He looked down at me and then his eyes traveled to his brother, who was moving toward him swiftly.

  “Robbie, you o-”

  It felt like I was watching in slow motion as Robbie pulled his arm back and then slammed it forward, his big, closed fist connecting with Logan’s nose. The crunching sound was sickening as Logan’s head slammed back, blood flowing almost immediately. He stumbled backwards and I made a grab for his arm, trying to put myself between the two of them.

  “Robbie!” Abby shouted and lurched forward. Knox grabbed her and pulled her back before rushing toward the middle of the foyer as Robbie raised his arm to hit Logan again.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he shouted over my shoulder as I put my hands on his chest.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Logan shouted back and grabbed me by the collar of my jacket, hauling me back like I weighed nothing at all.

  Suddenly, I was out of the way and they were on each other. Logan slammed his fist into Robbie’s jaw just as Knox jumped between them. He grabbed Logan around the neck and yanked him backwards with ease as Robert stepped in front of his oldest son, effectively blocking his path.

  “You’re a fuckin’ idiot, man,” Robbie said. His face was red and he was out of breath, adrenaline clearly pumping through him. “After everything we’ve been through, after all the shit Abby went through last year, you want to put yourself in danger too? Fuck you, Logan.”

  Logan, who was still struggling to get out of Knox’s grip, snarled at his brother. “This is why I didn’t want to tell anyone. Honesty gets you fucking nowhere in this family. It never has.”

  “That’s not fair.” Abby jumped in with a sniffle. “We always want you to be honest with us.”

  “Only if it’s what you want to fucking hear!” he shouted a response. When Abby flinched, his face softened and he stopped struggling. “I’m sorry. I swear, I didn’t mean that, Abby. I didn’t mean to lose my cool with you. I just… I came here to tell everyone the truth and all any of you have done is throw it back in my fucking face like I’m the bad guy. You want to know why I don’t come around a lot, why I disappear? This is why.”

  Everyone was silent for a moment. I could hear Robbie and Logan’s labored breathing as their heart rates slowed, and watched as Abby shook her head and backed out of the room. Logan nudged Knox to follow her and he did, disappearing around a corner and calling out to her.

  The five of us stood there quietly as Robert looked back and forth between his two sons. He looked disappointed, but more than that, he looked confused. “Logan, I think it’s best you go home. Everyone just needs some time to process things.”

  “I’m being excused?” Logan looked shocked, but even he couldn’t mask the hurt on his face as he wiped the blood from under his nose. He came here to be honest and he was being shooed out because he didn’t tell everyone what they wanted to hear.

  “I’ll call you later.” Robert spoke through gritted teeth.

  “Don’t bother. I don’t have anything to say to you. And as for you,” he jerked his chin toward his brother. “Your head is clearly so far up your ass that you’re acting just like our old man. Always throwing a tantrum when you don’t get your way.”

  Logan walked over to me and gave me a hard look, clearly trying to mask his hurt the only way he knew how; with sarcasm and vehement anger. “Let’s get out of here, babe.”

  I nodded my head, but he was already out the door and moving toward his car. I was following him, was nearly out the door, when I heard Genevieve say, “We always knew that boy was up to no good.”

  I don’t know why I did it, don’t know why my fierce protectiveness for Logan decided to rear its head now, of all times. But suddenly I was turning and fixing her with the coldest glare I could possibly muster. “Up to no good? Seriously? Your son is helping young women get clean and sober and you call that no good? He’s risking his own safety for people he doesn’t know just so they can get a second chance at life, but that isn’t good enough for you?”

  Some mean, sinister part of me was satisfied when I saw the shock cross her face. “I don’t know who you think you’re talking to-”

  “I don’t know who I think I’m talking to either. Because I think you’re supposed to be his mother and love him unconditionally. I think it’s wrong to accuse your son of being a junkie because of his behavior. And I think it was so wrong of all of you to trap him here like this. Logan was honest about his life and his health, and instead of showing support you shun him even more than you already have.”

  Genevieve, who was red faced and getting more pissed off by the second, squared her shoulders and cleared her throat. “Get out, Ms. Foster. You are not welcome here.”

  I smiled, but there was nothing sweet about it. “Yeah, apparently your son isn’t welcome here either.”

  The harsh wind blew my hair across my face as I jogged to the car, throwing myself into the passenger seat as Logan reversed out of the driveway. The tires squealed against the pavement and I was sure it would leave black tracks on the pristine driveway, but some petty part of me was happy about it.

  The drive back home was quiet and I bounced my knee, jittery. For whatever reason, I found myself tearing up at the fact that Logan was so alone. Because I knew how awful it felt. I knew how all consuming that loneliness could be and I didn’t want that for him. Not having a family to turn to and going home to an empty house every night. Not having someone to call when something exciting happens. Hell, not having someone to call when something bad happens. Logan was secretive and spent most of his time with a guard up, but he was a good person. He was someone who didn’t deserve to be shunned by his own blood. Truthfully, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Well, except Conlon. I was wishing a lot of bad things for him.

  “Hey,” he said softly as he parked the car in his designated spot. “J, you alright?”

  I nodded and smiled, but my chin quivered and I looked down at my hands folded in my lap.

  �
��Talk to me.”

  I shook my head.

  “Juliette.”

  “They’re so mean to you!” I finally howled, tears streaming down my cheeks. I angrily tried to wipe them away. “Your mother… she… she’s so…”

  “Bitchy?” he offered.

  I only cried harder, brokenhearted for him.

  “Jesus, hey, come here.” Logan unclipped my seatbelt and pulled my arm until I crawled over the center console and sat in his lap. “It’s okay. It really is. It… it doesn’t bother me the way it used to.”

  I sniffled and wrapped my arms around his neck, uncertain as to whether I was crying for him, me, or both of us. He slid his hand under my jacket and then under my shirt, his warm palm rubbing my back. I had to admit that the skin to skin contact was soothing, keeping me grounded and calming me down.

  We stayed like that for a while with his arms around me and my face pressed to his neck, inhaling his scent. I felt his heart beating against my chest and it was some comforting that I could have fallen asleep then and there. But even I knew we’d be much comfier in bed.

  “Let’s go inside,” I said when I pulled back, tracing his mouth with the tip of my finger. “I’ll make dinner.”

  Logan’s eyes met mine and he licked the tip of my finger before grabbing my hand and kissing my open palm. “You know, I think I lucked out with you.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I asked as we got out of the car and walked down the dock. “Why is that?”

  “You want to make me dinner. You make sure I take my meds when I need to. You give the best head I’ve ever had.” He laughed and then stopped, pulling me against him. “And you’re the first person who has ever stepped up to Genevieve Ashford.”

  I pulled back. “I didn’t.”

  “You did.” Logan responded with a smile. “I was waiting for you to come outside when I heard you talking to her. Or, should I say talking at her? No one’s ever done that.”

  “Yelled at your mom?”

  “Protected me.”