Mad Mad Love ~ The Remembrance Trilogy: Complete Box Set Holiday Edition

by Kahlen Aymes

  Dinner was glorious and it was fun watching Ryan help make the gravy. He loved watching me and was amazed at the amount of Vermouth I had him add.

  "Dump?" he asked incredulously. "Don't you measure it, Julia? I don't want to mess it up."

  "Just dump. I'll tell you when," I laughed. "The same thing with the cream. Keep stirring the whole time with that wire whisk, unless you want lumps."

  "This has been such a great day. Thank you."

  I put my hand to his cheek. "Don't thank me, babe. I'm very happy you're here with me."

  He reached down to kiss me and then I handed over the fork and carving knife. "Would you mind?" I asked and he smiled.

  "Of course not. This feels like-" Ryan stopped abruptly and glanced at me after he'd started carving the bird.

  "Yeah. It feels damn good," I said softly.

  His blue eyes sparkled as he nodded.

  "So good, Jules. I’ve really missed you."

  "Hey," I said, feeling a lump rise in my throat, "no missing me tonight. I'm right here in front of you."

  "Okay. You're right."

  I quickly had the potatoes whipped and the bread on the table with everything else we'd made together. "Are we ready?" he looked at me expectantly. He looked like a kid at Christmas and I laughed.

  "Yeah. I'll get the wine and meet you at the table."

  Ryan lit the candles and then turned off the overhead light as I poured the wine. He pulled me into his arms and held me, sighing deeply and kissing first my cheekbone and then my temple.

  I raised my mouth and placed several kisses along his jaw. "I love you. I know I say it too much, but now that I can, I can't stop." His velvet voice melted my heart.

  I nodded. "I'll never get tired of hearing it. I love you, too...so much."

  He held out my chair for me and we looked at each other until he reached for my hand.

  "Jules, you know I'm not all that religious, but I do believe in God and I believe that you and I are meant to be." I felt the familiar sting at the back of my eyes and willed myself not to cry at his beautiful words. "If there is anything I am thankful for on any day...it's you."

  I blinked a few times at the stinging in my eyes. "Ryan...Nothing will ever be more important to me than you. To finally be able to be open about how I feel, it's ...a miracle. Thank you for being in my life."

  His eyes filled with tears and he squeezed my hand. "Will you look at us?" he laughed through his tears.

  I was overwhelmed and the first tears slipped from my eyes as I struggled to contain the emotion building up in every cell of my body.

  "Yes. It's beautiful. I never want to look at anything but your face for..." I stopped before I finished, afraid of the implications of what I wanted to say, but Ryan finished my thought.

  "For the rest of my life. I feel the same, okay?"

  I brushed the tears from my face and tried to smile. "Sounds good."

  "It will be. I promise."

  RYAN~

  I watched Julia laughing with Ellie and could tell by the way they were looking at me and giggling that Ellie was asking some very personal questions. What could I expect? Everyone knows that women talk more about sex than guys. Guys just do it and women like to talk about it. Well, to be honest, I don't mind talking about it, but I'd be damned if it would be with anyone other than Julia.

  She was so beautiful and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was wearing tight black jeans, a dressy white t-shirt and a short leather jacket, topped off by high-heeled boots and wild hair. She looked good enough to eat.

  The weekend, so far, had been beyond my wildest dreams. I ached with the knowledge that 48 short hours from now, even less, I'd be on my way back to Boston. Alone.

  I tried to bottle up the sadness. Each moment was precious and Julia was struggling, too. I tried to focus on the amazing nights we spent together and the fun we'd had today shopping and fighting the crowds. Julia was getting more gorgeous with each passing moment and every time she touched me, I fell more and more in love with her. I didn't think it was possible to love her more, but it filled me up until I felt I would explode.

  Ellie went to talk to Harris, who was onstage with his band, so Julia came back to me. I pulled her down on my lap and nuzzled her neck.

  "Mmmm... you smell so good."

  Her arm went around my shoulders and she turned her face toward me, inviting me to capture her mouth with mine. Now that we'd crossed the line, we couldn't get enough. The floodgates were open and I wanted to lose myself and savor every touch that I still had left to me.

  "Stop or you'll make all the women here want to kill me," she laughed softly and brushed her nose against mine.

  "It's the men I'm concerned about. You feel insane, babe. Let's leave," I begged against the curve of her neck and she shivered in my arms.

  She sighed and leaned her head against me. "We can't yet, Ryan. Ellie would be so disappointed. You haven't even had a chance to talk to her. This will be fun, won't it? We can dance and maybe even make out a little bit…hmm?”

  I rolled my eyes. The last thing I was concerned with was the others, but I had to admit the rest sounded good. "Okay," I said begrudgingly. "What was Ellie grilling you about?"

  "What do you think?" She laughed and took a sip of her wine.

  "Mmm...I figured. What did you tell her?"

  "The truth."

  My eyes widened and I brushed my knuckles across her cheek. "Oh, really. What exactly would that be?"

  "That we are very happy." She kissed me softly. "That I love you." Her mouth dropped another kiss. "That...we're together, and you are...incredible in bed," she whispered against my mouth and then kissed me again, but this time I slipped my tongue into her mouth and slid my hand behind her head to pull her closer. I forgot about the crowd around us as my body sprung to life beneath her and my hand slid down her arm to her leg and hip.

  Julia gasped and pulled her mouth from mine. "Ryan..." she said breathlessly. “God, don't do this to me here. It's not fair."

  "Remember I told you," I said against her mouth, "love and war, and I want you."

  "Ugh...later." Julia rested her head on mine and threaded her fingers in my hair. "You know I want you too."

  Fuck. That wasn't helping the new problem rising in my pants.

  "Hi, Ryan!" Ellie's cheery voice broke into the bubble that we'd disappeared into.

  My arm tightened around Julia, letting her know I wanted her to stay put on my lap so I could hide my uncomfortable circumstance and, anyway, I didn't want to let go of her.

  "Hey, Ellie. It's nice to see you. I've got a little problem right now, so I'll hug you in a few minutes, if that's okay," I said dryly.

  Ellie’s eyes danced as she laughed. Julia gasped and shoved me in the shoulder. I laughed out loud and they both joined me.

  "I understand, honey. How is Boston?" Ellie asked.

  "It's okay. School is good. A lot of work, but it makes the time go faster. How are you and Harris doing? When's the wedding?" I teased. Ellie flushed and looked pointedly at Julia.

  "Hey, I didn't put that in his head, El. He's pretty sharp on his own, you know," Julia said loudly over the din of the crowd and band, saving Ellie by changing the subject. "Is Harris going to get a break so we can talk to him?"

  "In about an hour. They take 10 minutes at the top of each hour." I groaned inwardly but realized I was being selfish by wanting to steal Julia away.

  "They sound great, Ellie. Really good," I said as I felt for the bare skin of Julia's back beneath her shirt and jacket. I rubbed little circles and she leaned into me further. It felt wonderful just holding her close.

  A couple of assholes at the bar were eyeing Julia when she went to talk to Ellie. I glanced in their direction. They were staring and talking between themselves. I glared at them before nuzzling into her neck again. Julia didn’t notice the men as she rubbed my back and chatted with Ellie and another girl.

  Yes, that's right. She's mine. Don't even fucki
ng think about it.

  I was having a serious case of déjà vu.

  So many times in college I'd seen a similar scene go down when we'd all go out to clubs, but back then I didn't have the right or the ammunition to openly squash it. Never overly obvious; I had to rely on quietly walking up to guys and warning them off of Julia without her knowing it even happened.

  I’d been such a bastard. I realized how unfair that was, but damn it, I couldn't stand seeing them pawing all over her, or even looking at her with lust. I was always very possessive and protective of her. Not that she needed me every time. She'd been more than capable of telling unwanted admirers to fuck off, and she had done so many times. Only a few times had she needed me to intercede, allowing me to get in their faces openly. Aaron had given me so much crap over it, telling me to shit or get off the pot.

  Immersed in her conversation with Ellie, Julia was unaware of the exchange or the men watching her, but my eyes narrowed on them as they continued to ogle her. They were either intoxicated, had very little class, or were just fucking stupid.

  "Ryan."

  Julia stood and pulled on my hand to have me join her. "Will you dance with me or are you too busy flirting with those guys at the bar?" Amusement danced in her eyes as she looked up at me.

  A smile lifted my lips as I reached down to wrap my arms around her, lifting her up to carry her toward the dance floor, her feet dangling. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and laughed softly.

  "You caught me. Just letting them know that you're mine, sweets."

  Harris's band was finally playing a slow song and it was a perfect excuse to hold her. I lowered Julia to the floor, but didn't relinquish my tight hold on her. My hands roamed up and down her back as she settled her head onto the curve of my neck, her high heels giving her the perfect height to allow easy access to her luscious mouth. I resisted the temptation as long as possible.

  She fit against me perfectly as we swayed together. I closed my eyes, letting her scent envelope me.

  "You feel so great." She raised her head until her mouth was under my ear and her hot breath rushed over me. My arms tightened around her.

  I dropped my forehead to her shoulder and turned my face to kiss her neck, letting my mouth open and my tongue graze her skin and then sucked a little before raising my head.

  "You're so delicious…I'm just starving, my love."

  She moaned against me and it was all I could do not to ravish her mouth on the spot. "I can't take much more of this. It's wonderful but I want to get you alone and make slow love to you. Do you want that?"

  She brought her hand to my face and her fingers danced along my jaw while she looked at me with those big doe eyes. "Always have. But now, knowing what I've been missing, it's insane."

  My heart quickened at her words. "Julia..." I felt my dick swell and I pulled her hips against mine so she could feel the effect she had on me. "God...as amazing as last night was, I want more."

  "I love when you touch me, when you taste me...having you inside me," she moaned against my neck and my body started shaking.

  “God, this is torture. Please, say we can go," I groaned and looked down into her face, my body on fire. Her skin was so perfectly smooth and her mouth, full and beckoning, cried out for my kisses.

  "I want to, but look at poor Ellie, Ryan. We have to stay for a little bit. I'm sorry I teased you, I just can't seem to stop the words." She looked up at me apologetically as the song ended. "Will you dance with her just one time? She loves you and it will give her a chance to drill you too." She flashed a beautiful smile that I couldn't refuse and I bent to place a soft sucking kiss on her lips.

  "Like I can deny you. Will you miss me?" I teased.

  "Every second. I'll wait for you at the table. Should I order you anything?"

  "Crown and Coke." I kissed her hand as she turned from me and I went over to Ellie, smiling the whole way.

  "Hey short stuff. Will you honor me with this dance?" I mock bowed in front of her.

  Ellie's face lit up. She was a pretty girl and had been a good friend to both of us. "I didn't think Julia would want to share you once she'd sunk her teeth in you," she joked, and had a huge smile on her face, as we walked back onto the dance floor. "She does have her teeth in you, doesn't she?"

  "To the bone." I nodded and laughed.

  "Yeah. I told her years ago you were in love with her but she wouldn't listen! She's loved you for a long time, Ryan. I'm very happy for you both."

  I hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Ellie. Your support means a lot. How are things with you and Harris, really?"

  Another slow song started and she put her hand on my shoulder and I took the other in mine.

  "Hasn't Julia told you?" she said, resuming the conversation after we started to dance.

  "Only that you guys are close. Harris is a good dude. You could do a lot worse, and for sure he could." I smiled at her.

  "I think things are going to work out for all of us. It seems to be heating up on all fronts, huh?"

  "Yeah. In case you're in any doubt, I love Julia with all my heart."

  Her grey eyes smiled at me. "I know. Everyone did, except Julia, I guess. I expect her to move out East, yes?"

  "We're talking about it. We don't want to be apart. If that happens, will you move in with Harris? Julia worries about you being alone."

  Before she could respond, I looked over Ellie's head toward the table and didn’t like what I saw. The waitress was delivering the drinks and one of the men who had been eyeing Julia earlier was speaking to her. She looked up at him and shook her head as she tried to pay for the drinks, but the man handed a bill to the waitress and waved her away.

  I felt the blood begin to pump around my body and my skin lit on fire.

  He knew she was not here alone and she didn't want his attention, yet he was hitting on her with no regard for any of it.

  "Ellie, I need to go take care of Julia. I'm sorry," I said softly. "Excuse me."

  Her gaze followed mine to the table. Julia's annoyance when the man sat next to her was obvious. Her scowl increased when he scooted closer, her exasperation evident by the hand she ran through her hair. When I approached, a look of relief flooded her delicate features.

  "Come on, little lady, loosen up. Maybe you need a real man.” He didn't sound drunk but my palms began to sweat as I clenched my fists at my sides.

  Julia stood up when I reached her and I wrapped my arm around her in time to hear her response.

  "As you can see, I have one. But, thanks for the drink." She tried to brush him off without needing my help, but I seriously wanted to punch him in the face. I smirked as his expression changed from eagerness to anger when her hand came up to rest on my stomach. He reached for her arm, trying to pry her from me.

  Oh Fuck, no! He did not just touch her.

  "I recommend that you remove your hands from her. Immediately." My face tightened and my voice lowered so as not to make a scene, but it was more like a growl. I was more furious than I could ever remember feeling in my life.

  Julia pushed him away and he stumbled back a little but soon regained his balance and came back toward her.

  "Look, asshole," she said, "I don't want you to die, so listen to me very carefully. You don't have one damn thing that I'm interested in. Ryan is being very calm right now but I suggest you leave us alone before you piss him off."

  "Ryan? Are you her fucking husband?" He looked at me pointedly. He was shorter than me, heavier and out of shape. I’d be able to lay him out without much effort if needed.

  "Yes," I answered without hesitation. Julia's arm tightened around the back of my waist.

  "Well, you've got great taste, man." I relaxed a little when it seemed like he was going to back off. It was too much to hope for. "Too bad that she ain't," he continued and took a hold of her arm again. "Come for a dance, baby,"

  Julia recoiled back from him again as I held her and the rage boiled up inside my chest. I'd had enough.

>   I growled fiercely and reached for the hand on her arm twisting his fingers backward until he winced.

  "Listen, you sorry fuck. Take your hands off of her now or I swear to God, I'll break every one of your fucking fingers. Now, I strongly suggest you move along if you ever plan on jerking off again. Got me?"

  I waited for him to nod and then let go of his hand, flinging it away from me. He moved away clutching his hand and I wrapped both arms around Julia, glaring at him over her head. She giggled into my chest. I smiled with her when I saw him finally slink back to the bar.

  "Dickhead! I swear, I can't take you anywhere," I laughed against the top of Julia's head and rubbed her back with both hands.

  "Oh, my God! That was hilarious...but sorta hot, too. I think I like this side of you." She nuzzled my neck.

  We sat back at the table and I lifted the drink Julia had ordered in salute to the asshole at the bar, before I downed it. "Thanks for the drink," I said and hoped to hell he could read my lips. Julia was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.

  "Holy shit," she gasped for breath between fits of laughter.

  I reached for Julia's chair and scooted her closer so I could hold her hand and rest my arm across her lap under the table. Whenever she was near, I had to be touching her in some way.

  Ellie was shaking her head and laughing with us. "Wow, Ryan! I think that guy just pissed his pants."

  The band was on a break, so Harris came over, shook my hand and leaned down to kiss Julia on the cheek.

  Casually slinging an arm around Ellie's waist, he spoke. "Remind me never to make you mad, Ryan. That was classic."

  "I had to save that poor schmuck from Julia. She was ready to kick his ass." I smirked and she elbowed me in the ribs. "Hey," I protested.

  "Yeah. She's badass, for sure," Harris teased and Julia rolled her eyes.

  "Have you figured out a way to accelerate your years at Harvard yet, Ryan? I figure if anyone can do it, it’s you." His eyes followed my movements holding Julia and he raised an eyebrow at me.

  Now that Julia and I were together, it would be even more important to me to finish as quickly as possible.

  "Yeah, a little. I considered asking my dad to bribe the dean," I joked, "but you can’t rush med school. It is what it is."