Mad Mad Love ~ The Remembrance Trilogy: Complete Box Set Holiday Edition

by Kahlen Aymes

  When the elevator doors opened, I was inundated with the wonderful smells I knew originated from our apartment. I ran a hand through my hair. Obviously, Julia had something planned for us, or she wouldn’t have sounded so upset on the phone. I’d probably fucked myself big time. I was confident that Julia would be gracious to our guests. No doubt in my mind, but she might not be so agreeable after they left.

  There was music playing softly in the apartment and my eyes searched in the low light. I could see Jane sitting on the couch, looking out the window. I’d never seen her dressed in anything other than her scrubs, and I was slightly shocked at how pretty she looked. I glanced toward the kitchen, hoping I’d get a minute alone with Julia to test the waters, but there was no sign of her.

  “Hey, Jane,” I offered in greeting as I kicked my shoes off and shoved them in the entryway closet along with my parka. “Where’s Julia?”

  A wide smile spread across Jane’s face. “I think she wanted to freshen up a bit. How was work after I left?”

  “Pretty slow. We had four cases of the flu, one broken arm, and a heart attack.” I glanced down the hall. “Would you excuse me, Jane? I’d like to check on Jules.”

  “I’m sure she’s fine, Ryan. She made a beautiful dinner and just needed a minute. Let her be and pour me some wine.”

  “Where’s Daniel?” I asked, walking to the kitchen and taking three wine glasses from the top shelf of the cupboard nearest the sink.

  “Working. Same story, different day.” Her voice was flat.

  The cork creaked as the corkscrew pulled it from the bottle. I noted the extra bottle sitting on the counter and looked forward to sharing it with Julia, alone. I didn’t get why Jane put up with the bullshit this guy doled out. “Jane, forgive me,” I began as the blood red wine filled two of the glasses, leaving the other waiting for Julia. “But, I don’t get it.”

  I wanted to say more, to tell her the dude was a total loser, but in light of the deluge of tears earlier and her comments about being disfigured and not being wanted, I didn’t want to open that can of worms. Maybe she felt no one else would want her. I felt bad for her.

  I turned, a glass in each hand, prepared to make my way back into the living room, but Jane was standing two feet from me. “Shit!” I exclaimed, startled. A little of the wine sloshed over the rim of one of the glasses, and Jane took it from me. “You surprised me.”

  “Sorry, Ryan,” she said, holding up her glass and licking the spilled wine from the edge. “What should we toast to?”

  I leaned back against the counter and touched the rim of my glass to hers. “Good friends.”

  “To friends,” she agreed, and we both lifted our glasses to our lips to drink.

  “Well, it looks like you started without me.” The coolness in Julia’s voice snapped my head in her direction. Her green eyes glanced from me to Jane, noticing the glasses in our hands. I set mine down and reached for her hand. Her fingers were stiff as I pulled her nearer, wanting to lean in and kiss her. To my surprise, she turned her face so my lips landed on her cheek. My jaw set. Obviously, she was pissed at me, but I refused to let go of her hand and started to rub small circles on top with my thumb.

  She looked beautiful, but casual, in jeans and a vibrant moss green sweater. It was modest, but the neckline was low enough to offer up the creamy skin of her neck to just below her collarbones, her hair flowing in a wavy mass down to the middle of her back. Her dark hair and wine-colored lips were a striking contrast to the sweater, which matched her eyes. Eyes that right now told me she wasn’t pleased. “Dinner smells delicious.” I smiled softly at her. “I’m starving.”

  Julia pulled her hand away and walked behind me to pour wine into the waiting glass. “Thanks,” she said caustically, taking a large drink and refilling it.

  Disappointment was written all over her face. She refused to meet my eyes, and I was practically freezing from the cold shoulder she was presenting me with. Jane might not notice, but I knew her too well to be fooled by the stiff façade. I’d have to work hard to soften her up. I put up a finger to Jane, silently asking for moment. Jane nodded and turned into the living room as I turned toward my wife, gently nudging her shoulder with mine. I felt her soften, if only slightly.

  “Hey,” I said softly, lifting the curtain of hair to press my lips on the warm skin of her neck. She smelled so sweet. Like coconut shampoo and her perfume, mixed with the scent of her skin. I could feel her pulse beneath my lips and I opened them to flick my tongue across her skin.

  “Ryan. We have a guest. Stow the PDA.” She twisted in my arms, trying to move away, but I refused to allow it. Her eyes flashed anger and hurt, and instantly, I felt guilty for trying to make light of our lost evening.

  “Jules, don’t be mad at me, baby. I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” I whispered in her ear and moved to place a soft, lingering kiss across her cheekbone. I closed my eyes as I breathed her in, suddenly as regretful as she that we weren’t alone. “Don’t pull away from me. At least let me touch you.” I slid my hand down her arm and entwined my fingers with hers, my eyes beseeching for her understanding. “I still want to touch you.”

  She looked at me then, setting the glass on the counter and facing me, letting me hold her hand. “Then you shouldn’t have invited guests,” she sulked. “What pisses me off the most is that I’m full of resentment and I don’t want to be! I can’t seem to help it. But I feel like slime.”

  Her large green eyes, made even more striking by the shade of her sweater, locked with mine. I felt my heart slam into my chest wall. “I know, honey. Our time is precious. I get it.” I reached out to cup the side of her face and let my thumb pull at her bottom lip. “I want to kiss you so damn bad.”

  “Just a little one,” she smiled, her full lips curving up just a fraction. I didn’t need to hear it twice; my head swooped so my mouth could gently taste hers in a soft caress. Julia responded, then pulled her lips from mine and pressed her petal soft cheek against my scruffy one, her fingers caressing the opposite jaw.

  We stood there, barely touching, but I was reluctant to move. “We have a guest,” Julia whispered. “Go on. I’ll get dinner on the table.”

  During the meal, my gaze was drawn to the barren tree in the entryway, bereft of ornaments and looking as sad as the mood. Jane was upset that Daniel didn’t show despite the conversation about work and a Master’s in Nursing course she had decided to take. I encouraged the course. It would keep her mind off her problems and help her move past it. I’d told her twice already today that Daniel didn’t deserve her, so I didn’t bring it up again. The food was amazing, the table was set with Julia’s grandmother’s antique bone china that we’d gotten for a wedding gift from her mother, and the Waterford crystal wine and water glasses sparkled with the votive candles at each place setting. The crystal vase holding a small, budget-conscious arrangement of white poinsettias and the cheap wine were the only telltale signs that we were on a tight budget.

  I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling stiff after the twelve-hour shift in the ER. Julia was quiet for most of the evening. Sitting to my right and across from Jane. The position made it hard to look at her while Jane talked on and on, but I reached underneath the table to touch her hand or squeeze her knee several times. Her hand covering mine, assured me that she’d forgiven me for changing the evening plans.

  “That was incredible.” My stomach was so full I thought I’d burst. I reached out to brush the back of my knuckles across Julia’s cheek because I couldn’t help myself. She was so good to me. I grinned. “What’s for lunch tomorrow? No cafeteria crap, huh?” I asked hopefully.

  Julia laughed and rose to begin clearing the table. “No. I thought I’d make a cheesesteak sandwich and there’s an extra potato for you to take.”

  “I may have to make you share, Ryan,” Jane interjected. “You’re a wonderful hostess, Julia. Thank you.”

  “My pleasure. Who wants cheesecake?”

  Dinner wound down wi
th the delicious dessert and coffee. I glanced at my watch. Jane was still chattering on, but as I rubbed a hand over my jaw, I hoped she’d take the hint. It was ten and I was anxious to have the evening end. Julia was busying herself putting things away in the kitchen and I assumed making my lunch for the next day. I longed to be alone with her, to explain why I invited Jane and Daniel last minute, to hold her and make sure she knew I was feeling as shitty about the change of events as she did.

  “Is Daniel picking you up, Jane?” Daniel; that asshole. Jane didn’t seem as upset as I was that the fucker didn’t show up.

  She looked pensive and shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m taking the subway.”

  I scrubbed a hand down my face in barely concealed exasperation. The twenty-four hours of beard growth had begun to itch. I needed a shower and a shave before I crawled under the sheets with Julia, but now, I had to take Jane home. I couldn’t let her ride the subway alone at this time of night. “Can you call him?”

  She rose from the table, looking down at me. “It’s fine. I’m fine on the subway.”

  Without my knowing, sometime during the conversation, Julia had walked up behind me, and she now slid a hand over my shoulder. I reached up and grabbed it.

  “Nonsense, Jane. We’ll take you, won’t we, Ryan?”

  I pulled gently on her hand as I rose from my chair, then sliding my arm around her waist. She leaned into me and I glanced down into her face. I could read her like a book, but I was thankful she said we would take Jane home; we, as in both of us. At least I’d get to spend time with her in the car.

  “I’ll drive, if you’re too tired, hon.”

  “I don’t want to put you both out.” Jane scrambled to interject, looking flustered.

  Julia’s eyes narrowed slightly but then she moved to the hall and began putting on her coat. “It’s no bother, but we should get going. Ryan has an early shift, tomorrow.”

  The drive back was quiet. I held Julia’s hand the entire way and quietly explained why I’d invited Jane and Daniel and how it had backfired in a big way. She was silent, turned toward me in the passenger seat, her head resting back, her eyes drooping as sleep tried to claim her. It took more than an hour to get Jane back to Queens and I was about ready to pass out myself.

  “I need a shower,” I mumbled and brought the hand that I was holding to my lips as we navigated our way through the streets. Her skin was soft. “Dinner was amazing. Thank you for making it for me.”

  “It was for you, you know,” she said softly. Her sleepy eyes were soft, love radiating out of them. “Always for you.”

  I kissed her hand again, my lips brushing reverently over and over. “I know. I really wanted to be alone with you tonight.”

  She could have berated me. She had every right, but she didn’t. Instead; she ran a finger on the hand that I was holding, down the line of my jaw. “We’re alone now. It’s okay.”

  “Yes, but most of tonight is over,” I said regretfully. I felt the loss, big time.

  “It’s okay. See, the thing is, you’re stuck with me forever, so there will be other evenings.”

  My heart filled. She was fucking perfect. I ruined our plans and she was still so fucking perfect.

  My breath left in a small huff, and I flashed a smile. “I love you.”

  “I know.”

  We were silent the rest of the drive, but I never let go of her hand.

  When the door of the apartment opened, the wonderful smells of the meal still lingered. We both kicked off our shoes, and I hung Julia’s coat up after my own. Her hand ran down the front of my shirt to linger on my abdomen. “Go take your shower.”

  I kissed the top of her head and then her temple. “Okay. It’s going to be short.”

  When I left her and went into the bedroom, I walked through it to the bathroom and flipped on the light and the water. In a matter of seconds, my clothes had been whipped off, and I was standing under the comforting spray of the warm shower. The water felt good. I was tired, but I wanted to be with Julia. I wasn’t thinking of the baby we were trying to conceive; I only wanted my hands on her, the silk of her skin next to mine, and her breath rushing across my skin.

  I was so tired. Exhausted was a better word, and there were only six hours until I’d be back at it again. When I’d decided to become a doctor, I hadn’t considered the physical toll it would take. I needed to work out at least three more times this week. Thank God for the fitness room at the hospital that we were able to use when the ER was slow. And thank God for the showers, too.

  I squeezed shampoo into my hand and was scrubbing it briskly through my hair when the bathroom door opened. “Hey, sweets,” I called. The light flipped off but a soft glow remained in the room. The steam parted when the shower door opened and Julia stepped inside. I paused rinsing my hair. “Hey…” I said again, taking in the glorious site of her naked body in the golden glow of the candles she’d set on the vanity. It didn’t take a single touch for my cock to stiffen. She was so beautiful, her curves were a delicious combination of glowing skin offset by the shadow wrapping around her from behind and the green eyes, luminous, as she looked up at me. Her intent was clear and my heart sped up. I reached for her at the same time as her hands slid up my shoulders, the remnants of the shampoo leaving my skin slick under her fingers. Electricity shot through me.

  My hands moved from the sides of her breasts, gently cupping and brushing her already puckered nipples, down the concave slope of her waist and back, over the voluptuous curves of her delicious ass. Her fingers curled into my wet hair, the water running over both of us now. She tilted her head, lifting her mouth in offering as my throbbing cock pressed into her stomach, and her eyes slid closed.

  I kissed her jaw and down her neck, my mouth open, tongue laving her delicious skin. I never got tired of touching her; of feeling her come alive next to me. My body hungered the sweet-salty taste of her, the feel of her tightness around me, her heat… and my heart craved her incredible love. There was nothing like making love to Julia and never would be.

  Her fingers yanked at the hair at my nape and she moaned, deep in her throat, urging me to pick up the pace. It was so fucking sexy. I bent slightly, enough to part her legs from behind and lift her against the back wall of the shower. Julia wrapped her legs around me and I slid one hand up to cup the side of her face so I could claim her mouth, the very moment I pushed into her, hard.

  “Uhhh…” her breath rushed out as we began kissing; deep, needy kisses that I wanted to go on for days, so good I almost forgot I was buried deep inside her. She clenched around me at the same time as she sucked on my tongue. It was so hot, and I went into overdrive, thrusting deeper, harder. Julia’s hips met mine, both of us moving together in our urgent need for release. I never wanted it to end. We didn’t talk, but hands teased, mouths worshiped and skin slid over skin and the small space filled with steam and moans of pleasure.

  I was having trouble breathing; I couldn’t decide if it was the heat and thickness of the air or the fact that I loved this woman so Goddamn much. I pulled my mouth from hers and opened my eyes, needing to see her expression while we both got closer to the edge. I could feel my body tighten and I wanted to see the pleasure I was giving her; I needed her to see mine. Her eyes opened, half-lidded and she looked at me. I changed to slow, long thrusts, but kept the pressure hard. Her body pushed up on the wall each time I slammed into her. I loved watching her pouty lips drop open at the same time she kept here eyes trained on mine until the pleasure got too much.

  “Uhhhh,” she sighed and shut her eyes, turning her head when I reached between us and found her clit. I moved in slow circles, wanting her climax to be long and hard, slow building. My body was screaming; each time she clenched around me, it was all I could do not to let myself go. “Uhhhh, Ryan…” She bit her lip. “I want…” she panted.

  “I’m there baby…” I groaned as she tensed and shuddered around me. Julia’s head fell back and I latched onto her mouth, thrusting my
tongue inside to meet hers. She clutched the hair on both sides of my head as she kissed me back deeply, riding out her orgasm as I gave in to mine.

  My head fell to her shoulder as our breathing evened out, the water still pelting my back and the steam so thick it was like we were inside a cloud.

  I kissed her lips again; soft and gently caressing. Needing her to know with just my lips how much she meant to me. I ran my nose along hers and kissed her one more time before I opened the shower door and I walked out holding her to me, still connected. I pulled two fluffy white towels from the rack and wrapped one around her, sliding out and setting her on the floor. We dried each other off as if we were still making love. It was soft and thorough and reverent.

  Her eyes got glassy. I could see the emotion there, and it was all the same for me. Jesus Christ! I’d never get used to how much we loved each other. She lopped another towel over my head and rubbed as I softly dried the water from her hair with one of my own. When I was done, I ran the pad of my thumb across her cheek. I wanted to touch and keep touching.

  The bedroom was several degrees cooler than the bathroom, and we quickly slid beneath the covers. I pulled Julia to me, and she came easily into my arms. We fit like a glove, curled around each other, both content while the warmth between our bodies seeped out to slowly warm the sheets. I was satisfied, yet unsatisfied at the same time; always wanting more of her.

  “I never want to leave this bed,” I said into the darkness, my lips pressed to her forehead, her damp hair tickling my chin.

  “I never want to leave your arms,” she murmured sleepily.

  My arms tightened around her as her hot breath fanned my chest.