Alana

by Barrie, Monica

  Happy with her thoughts of the future, Alana picked up her pace toward the house. She was no more than two hundred feet from her destination when an explosion shattered the peace of the day.

  Seagulls screamed their outrage at the noise; several large dark birds who had been resting on the roof of the house took off in a startled flurry.

  Then Alana saw Lorelei running out onto the veranda, and as she did, she realized that her own legs were pumping madly, propelling her toward the house. A dark shaft of fear sliced through Alana’s mind, but she refused to acknowledge it. At the foot of the steps, Alana stopped. Looking up, she saw the terrible expression on Lorelei’s face. Her heart began to race; her stomach twisted painfully. Her legs had suddenly turned to lead. Each step up took an eternity. But when she was on the veranda and gazing into Lorelei’s tear-streaked face, she could no longer deny what her heart and mind told her.

  When she started to go around Lorelei, her old nurse tried to stop her. Alana shrugged off the restraining hand and walked through the open door. Alana’s breath caught painfully in her chest at the sight that greeted her eyes.

  Jason was sprawled on the floor in front of his wheeled chair, a revolver still gripped in his hand.

  She walked toward him. Her mind was spinning madly, unable to accept the vision that lay before her as she knelt down at Jason’s side.

  Willing herself not to give in to the beckoning darkness that sought to claim her, Alana forced back the bile that rose in her throat at the sight of the blood pooling on the floor beneath Jason’s head. She did not hear her own low sob as she reached toward his lifeless form. Ignoring the blood that smeared her fingers, refusing to see the ugly wound on his temple, she lifted his head and brought her mouth to his.

  When she drew her mouth from his unresponsive lips, she felt an unreasonable flare of anger at what he had done to himself. The happiness which had filled her so fully only moments before was now replaced by shock and mourning. She felt the deepest sorrow for the loss of a love that had ended before it could truly begin.

  “Why, Jason?” she asked in a husky voice. “Why have you done this to us?”

  Still holding him, Alana lifted her head and saw a sheet of paper gripped in his right hand. Carefully, her fingers trembling, she took the paper and looked at the neatly scripted words.

  My Dearest Alana,

  I know that in the times to come, you will understand why I have done this. And when you do, I want you to realize that because of your devotion to me, I was able to find the strength to face my destiny.

  From the time I was wounded, I hid within a world I created, a world that separated me from everything else. The drugs I used were not just for my pain, but to keep me oblivious to life itself.

  When you brought me here, to Abington, and you forced me to face what I had become by making me come out of my drug-induced world, I was able to think again and use my mind again for the first time in so very long.

  And because of this, your devotion and your unselfish giving of yourself to me, I have found the strength to do what I should have done three years ago.

  Do not blame yourself, for it is because of my love for you that I set you free in the only way I can. Live your life now, Alana, live it for both of us, and never look back at our past with regret.

  I thank you for these past weeks, for lying next to me each night, for allowing me to hold you close and give you what love I could. You are a beautiful and brave woman.

  Remember, Alana, that I have always loved you, no matter what pain I might have caused you, and wherever my soul goes, it shall carry that love with it.

  Good-bye, my dearest wife. Remember me with kindness and love.

  For endless minutes, Alana stared at the paper, and then a low cry escaped her lips. Releasing the paper from her numbed fingers, Alana cradled his head on her lap, holding him close and rocking slowly back and forth.

  She was unaware of Lorelei pulling her away from him and lifting her off the floor; all she knew was that she had lost Jason soon after finding him. Then the darkness that had been calling to her since she stepped inside the house overcame her, and she gratefully succumbed to it and sank into unconsciousness.

  ~~~~~

  Alana stood on the veranda looking toward the drive. For the first time in the two and a half months since Jason’s death, she was not wearing black. Her personal period of outward mourning was over and, she had told herself, it was time to be back at work.

  Those first weeks after Jason’s death had been the hardest for her. Harsh anger had combined with deep despondency, preventing her from doing anything other than lie in bed and stare unseeing at the ceiling.

  Jason had found his way back from the pits of hell and had shown Alana once again the wonderful man he was. When he died, no matter what his note had said and no matter what he had believed, he had deserted her. She could not forgive him, and so could not accept his death or continue with her life.

  But, one day while she was lying in her bed, Alana had reread his note and had tried to see between the lines. As she did, she began to realize that perhaps it was she who was being selfish. He had shown her that he was capable of giving his love and of being her husband. But he could no longer live a life so filled with pain that he might be forced back into depending on drugs to survive.

  With that revelation, Alana’s ability to face the world had returned. But she had not been ready to begin running Riverbend or take back the reins of the shipping company.

  Instead of checking the plantation’s accounts, or doing any of the hundred things she might, she would leave the house in the morning and go over to the horse-breeding pens that had been empty for so long. There she would gaze at the large roan stallion that had arrived on the day the breeder had promised. She would watch him for hours, taking in his majestic bearing and admiring the rippling muscles beneath his shiny coat.

  She would watch him and find herself pinning her dreams on his sleek back, knowing that within the year the first of a new breed would rise at Riverbend. Then she would go see the mare, they kept apart from the stallion until breeding time.

  When they mated, she decided she would leave them together as much as possible until the female was near her foaling time. Alana wanted to add more mares, but she would not do so until she saw the first offspring of these two wondrous horses.

  At noon, Alana would go to the stable. She would spend the rest of the day riding in the fields, thinking about Jason and about Rafe. Alana did not believe she was sullying Jason’s memory by her thoughts of Rafe, and those thoughts helped her regain her strength and purpose once again, for Rafe’s image in her eyes was always one of strength and beauty.

  Once she had reconciled herself to what had happened, the healing of her heart and mind began to speed along with the passing days until she could no longer sit back and do nothing. Then the day had finally come when she was ready to join the world and take control of her life once again.

  That was why she was now standing on the veranda waiting for Charles Ledoque’s arrival. He was late, and a restless energy filled Alana.

  Turning, she called out for Lorelei. When Lorelei appeared, Alana told her to inform Mr. Ledoque that she would be at the breeding pens and would wait for him there.

  Leaving the veranda, Alana walked the five hundred feet to the breeding area. When she got there, the stallion, now very used to her, came over and pushed his muzzle against her arm.

  Smiling at him, she dipped her hand into the hidden pocket in her skirt, withdrawing a piece of carrot. She opened her hand and the stallion took it from her palm. After he chewed it, he lifted his head and whinnied as the mare entered the breeding pen.

  “Magnificent stud” said Ledoque, his voice startling her for an instant. Recovering quickly, she turned to smile warmly at him.

  “Yes, he is,” she replied.

  “I’m sorry I am late, but I had a slight problem before I left Charleston this morning.”

  “Time
isn’t as important here as it is in Charleston,” Alana responded with understanding. “Shall we go to the house?” Ledoque gallantly offered her his arm. She accepted with a smile, but they did not speak until they reached the house and went into her study.

  Lorelei had already set out a decanter of sherry. Ledoque poured the sherry into the two glasses, handed Alana one, and lifted the other.

  “To a remarkable woman,” he toasted.

  Alana felt suddenly uncomfortable under his probing gaze. “I don’t think I’m very remarkable.”

  “Take my word for it, Alana, you are. Very few women could have gone through what you have and come out the better for it.”

  Blushing at his words, Alana smiled her thanks to him as she sipped the sherry; however, she knew that if she were as remarkable as he said, she would not have been so helpless over the past months.

  “You asked that I come to see you about business, did you not?” Charles said, graciously changing the subject.

  “Yes,” she responded as she put down her glass. “Charles, I find I must impose on you a little while longer.”

  “You will never be an imposition, Alana. And it is definitely no imposition to advise you on your business affairs.”

  “You are very kind,” she said honestly, “and a good friend, too. Charles,” she began after taking a breath, “I need you to continue as the agent for Landow Shipping. I do not feel confident yet to assume its control.”

  When she finished speaking, she saw Ledoque’s features change, and she believed she saw a slight frown that he did not quite manage to hide. “What is it?” she asked.

  Ledoque looked at her for several seconds, before he slowly shook his head. “If I had not received your letter, I would have been forced to come to you anyway. You see, Alana, Landow Shipping has suffered several setbacks in the past months. I have not sent word of them because of your own tragic loss, but I fear I must tell you now.”

  “But–” Alana looked at him questioningly.

  “I’m sorry to be the bearer of more sad tidings, but it is a role I must accept. Two of your ships have been lost at sea. We’ve found no trace of them. A third was pirated off the coast of Jamaica. Because of the losses of their cargos, the Montpelier Company has invoked their cancellation clause and taken their contracts from Landow.”

  “No!” Alana gasped. “They wouldn’t do that!”

  “I’m sorry, my dear, but they have,” he told her in a tone that made her accept his statement.

  “What can I do?” she asked, doing her best to gather her thoughts and discover what her position was.

  “I’m doing everything possible. I have shifted several of my own contracts to Landow, in order to help stop the losses, but even so, I’m afraid your debts are getting out of hand.”

  “Debts?” Alana whispered with the shock of his words. “What debts? We had no debts.”

  “Alana, shipping has always been rife with problems; which is why the rewards are so great for those who succeed. After your first ship was lost, it became your contractual obligation to guarantee delivery of the next shipment. When the second ship was lost, Landow Shipping had to reimburse the Montpelier Company for the cargo, as was done for the pirated cargo of the third ship–and that ship has not yet been refitted for use because of the damages it sustained.”

  Ledoque paused, his face reflecting the position that Alana found herself in. “I used all the available funds to reimburse the shipper, but they were not sufficient. I loaned you some of my own capital, but I am limited at this time, and I was forced to make up the difference by going to the bank and borrowing money in your name.”

  Alana went white despite the control she was trying to maintain. Once again, her world was collapsing around her.

  “How deeply am I in your debt, Charles?” she asked in a barely audible whisper.

  “That doesn’t matter,” he countered, “but my concern for you does. I will stand by you in this, Alana,” he said, reaching out to take her hand.

  She stared at her hand in his, then slowly looked into his eyes. For just an instant, she saw a flash of something she’d never seen before. A ripple of fear raced along her spine. Slowly, she withdrew her hand.

  “How much am I in debt?” she repeated.

  Ledoque stiffened slightly when she pulled her hand from his, but his face remained unreadable. “Forty thousand dollars. To me personally, only ten thousand. To the bank, thirty.”

  “Impossible!” she cried.

  “I am truly sorry, Alana, but my figures are accurate.” Alana stood and walked gracefully across the room to gaze out the window. When she spoke, she did not look at Ledoque.

  “I take it that you will no longer represent my company as its agent?” she asked.

  “I would not abandon you now,” he protested. “But it is my obligation to tell you of the problems you–we face.”

  “What would you suggest, Charles?”

  “I believe that over a period of time, and by getting several good contracts, we can turn things around for Landow Shipping, but it will take more time than you have. There is another alternative, but it may not be enough.”

  “Yes?”

  “I can try to find a purchaser for Landow, but we cannot ask too high a price. The company has no contracts, only debts.”

  “No!” Alana exclaimed immediately. “Landow Shipping has been in my husband’s family for four generations. I will not sell it now.”

  “Then we must find some way to help you out of your trouble, Alana, for Riverbend was the security I was forced to put up to get the loans. The thirty thousand dollars represents a full mortgage on Riverbend.”

  Alana, still staring out the window, felt the blood drain from her face. A red swell of anger gripped her, and she fought against herself until she had her rage under control. Turning, she stared at Ledoque. When she spoke, her voice was as cold and hard as ice.

  “By what right did you use Riverbend as collateral for that loan?” she demanded.

  “By the right you gave me, Alana, by your power of attorney,” he said in a level voice.

  Alana shook her head sharply, unable to believe the words she was hearing. “That was only so that you could disburse expense funds.”

  “It is a full power of attorney, I assure you, and I had every legal right to do what I did. And, Alana, I did it for you. However,” Ledoque said as he rose and picked up a leather case that Lorelei had placed next to the chair, “I have brought the papers and the up-to-date accounts for you to review.”

  “Will they tell me anything that you haven’t already?” she asked, her voice sounding harsh and unforgiving.

  “No,” he said.

  “When is the bank note due?”

  “In seven weeks.”

  Alana closed her eyes. When she opened them again to steady her suddenly wobbly legs, she saw Ledoque staring at her.

  “I am truly sorry to have been the bearer of this news, but it was my duty. Think about what I’ve suggested, Alana, but don’t take too long, please. Time is of the essence.”

  Alana nodded her head, her tongue refusing to work as he walked toward her. He took her hand again into his and raised it to his lips. As he did, a chill raced up her arm. When his lips touched her skin, she shivered involuntarily. Thankfully, he did not notice.

  “I will see you soon,” he said. And then he was gone.

  Alana remained in the study for a long time after he left. When Lorelei came to tell her dinner was ready, she found Alana seated at the desk going over the papers that Ledoque had left.

  When Alana looked up, Lorelei saw that her face was creased with lines of worry. “Dere be someting wrong, chile’?”

  Alana tried to smile, tried to say no, but the lie did not escape her lips. Instead, she nodded her head. “I may lose Riverbend,” she whispered.

  13

  “I have only six weeks left. What can I do?” Alana asked as she stared at Carlton DuPont’s lined face. Alana had known Carlt
on DuPont all her life, but today, for the first time, his white hair and tired eyes told her that he had long since passed his prime.

  Alana had written him a letter the day after Charles Ledoque’s visit, informing him of her precarious position, as well as sending him all the papers Ledoque had left with her.

  In the following week, she had tried to think of a way to remedy the situation and had been able to come up with only one idea–one she hadn’t wanted to consider.

  She’d also written a letter to Rafe, telling him of everything that had happened, including Jason’s death, and asking for his advice for the shipping company. Her hopes went along with the letter to San Francisco, but she knew that it would take too long for it to reach him and for him to reply. She did not have enough time.

  “What can I do?” she asked DuPont again.

  The lawyer shook his head. “Alana, I am extremely upset by what has happened. I feel that I have let you down.”

  Alana frowned. “Let me down?”

  “Yes. As your father’s friend and legal adviser, and then yours, I made a grave error. When Mr. Ledoque came to me to ask for a letter of introduction to you, I checked on his background with a colleague of mine, and with his bank as well. My colleague gave him the highest of recommendations and Mr. Collingsworth at the bank did also. In fact, it was his words of respect for Mr. Ledoque that gave me the confidence to write my recommendation.”

  “But Charles has done all he could for me,” Alana argued. “What happened is not his fault.” But, her conviction suddenly was not as firm as it had been. The memory of that brief glimpse into his unguarded eyes rose within her mind. “What kind of error did you make?”

  “The worst kind. Like the old fool I am, I believed what I was told . Alana”–DuPont paused again, gazing at her sadly–“except for you, I no longer practice law. I have outlived all my clients and my usefulness. This office is a sham. I keep it for my pride.”

  Alana’s heart went out to her father’s friend, even in this time of trouble. “No, Uncle Carlton, that’s not true.”

  “Isn’t it?” he asked in a self-accusatory tone. “Why would I have let someone else guide you? Alana, when you sent me his reports, I went over them very carefully. It was then that I realized I was duped. When I learned that the Montpelier contracts had been lost, I was astonished. Those contracts were irrevocable as long as any losses were repaid!”